So another one bites the dust. City were obviously feeling a bit left out after all the Ferguson / Moyes related shenanigans of the previous week, so they went out and tapped up another manager and ensured the whole world knew about it. Whatsmore, they did it in the build to an FA Cup final, and created so much of a furore they ended up having to sack Mancini as the speculation had reached fever pitch. Good job City, well done.
Mancini knew he was done for and the result at Wembley wasn't going to make any difference, but losing to Wigan just made it easier for City to tell him to hit the road. It's pretty funny really, he still had the loyal backing of the majority of City fans whilst the rest of the country were all like "yeah get rid of him, he's fucking shit". I admire the loyalty of the City faithful, but it's clearly misplaced as like I've been saying for two years, he's a fraud. A negative, defensive, arrogant, self absorbed one at that.
To City fans though, he's the fella that brought them the kind of success that five years ago was beyond their wildest dreams. That Aguero goal - ironically a year ago to the day that Mancini got his walking papers - is the kind of moment that can't ever be topped. The only team that's even had anything close to it is Arsenal when they won the title at Anfield. Yet as incredible a moment as that was for the Gunners, it was Liverpool they pipped to the title, not Spurs, so it could have been even sweeter. When City won the title with the last kick of the season, they were doing it at the expense of their biggest rivals. It literally cannot get any better than that, and that's why they'll always love Mancini.
The rest of us however, look at it and say "if he wasn't so shit you wouldn't have had to wait until the last kick of the season to win it" and would also say that any decent manager would have won the title with that squad of players. In a few years time if City continue to stay at the level they've been at recently, they'll probably start to view things differently, but right now they still seem to think they're the 'old' Man City, loveable losers who lurch from one shit manager to another. So when they finally get one who wins them some trophies they want to stick with him, which is actually commendable. It doesn't change the fact that Mancini is shit though and the success is down to unprecedented spending that not even Chelsea have matched. Let's face it, you'd have to be pretty poor to not win trophies having spent that kind of money.
I mean fucking hell, Roberto Martinez just won an FA Cup with Wigan, and they weren't even good enough to stay in the Premier League. Is Martinez actually any good? I'm not sure he is, but to listen to Dave Whelan you'd think he was Shankly, Paisley and Ferguson rolled into one smartly dressed suave Spanish package. But if he's that good, how come he's always at the bottom of the table and he just got relegated? If those players are good enough to win the FA Cup, beating Everton and Manchester City in the process, surely they should be able to stay in the Premier League?
I'm leaning towards Martinez being a bit shit, but until he goes to another club we won't know either way. I was pleased for them winning the FA Cup, but found it baffling to hear some of their fans saying they'd have sacrificed that to stay in the Premier League. What kind of fucked up logic is that? They'd rather stay up and be involved in a relegation battle every year than have the kind of day that you can tell your grandkids about.
Wigan made history at Wembley, experiencing a day like that is what being a football fan is all about. Being in a relegation fight every year doesn't compare, even if you're successful in staving it off. So what if they got relegated, they won the FA Cup and next year they'll be going into games expecting to win, as opposed to hoping not to lose. As they say, better to live one day as lion than a lifetime as a lamb.
That cup final meant all but one of the league games were played on the Sunday. The exception was Aston Villa v Chelsea, which was brought forward to the Saturday to help Chelsea's preparation for the Europa League final. A win for Villa would have secured their safety, and a draw would have all but guaranteed it too. It was all going well for them when Benteke gave them the lead with a superb goal and then Ramires was sent off. They led at half time, they were up against ten men and everything was coming up Millhouse.
Then Benteke stupidly got himself sent off and it fell apart. 'Fat' Frank scored twice, the second one coming right at the end, and Chelsea guaranteed themselves a Champions League spot for next season. Lampard became Chelsea's all time leading goalscorer with that double, fair play to him. Not the most naturally gifted player of his generation but he's one of those who has squeezed every last drop out of the talent he has. Pretty nauseating watching it though, I'm not sure what was the worst part of it; Lampard's face, the Chelsea fans running onto the pitch to join in the celebrations or Motson's arse kissing commentary.
The loss meant Villa were relying on other results going their way and hoping that they didn't have to go to Wigan on the last day needing a result. Newcastle winning at QPR secured their safety, although we all briefly had our hopes up when Remy put the home side ahead from the penalty spot early on. Awful decision though, it was never penalty as it was outside the box. Funny though, as for a brief time it looked like it may plunge Alain Pardieu right in le merde.
It didn't last long unfortunately, as Newcastle were awarded a penalty of their own when Bosingwa tugged Ben Arfa's shirt right in front of the referee. It was a strange one as Ben Arfa didn't go to ground and that usually means you get away with it, but it was a blatant shirt tug and Bosingwa was asking for trouble and his day would get even worse when his underhit back pass led to Gouffran's winner.
The Portuguese full back is public enemy number one at Loftus Road, what with his continually shitty performances, refusing to be a substitute, laughing after they were relegated and now this. He's a bit of a knob, obviously, but it's funny seeing how he's been demonised as though but for him QPR would have been alright. We sing about dreaming of 'a team of Carraghers', but poor old QPR are living the nightmare of having 'a squad of 'Bosingwas'. He's the easy target, the most obvious one, but he's not alone. There's actually only Remy who's been any good, the rest have massively underachieved.
Redknapp bizarrely stated afterwards that whilst people have been going on about a lack of effort being QPR's problem, that's not the case and it is in fact 'a lack of quality'. He then said that these players wouldn't be good enough to finish in the top half of the Championship. Pull the other one 'Arry, surely no-one is gonna fall for that? I watched some of the Championship playoff games this week, and honestly I knew about four or five players involved and I'd never heard of the rest. QPR's squad is packed with full internationals (21of them on their books I believe), some of them household names and players that every club in the Championship would love to have.
Nothing like getting your excuses in early though. If QPR are floundering next season Redknapp will say "I told you so" and if they're doing well he'll have his mates all over the media telling us how he's over-achieving. Not as daft as he looks is old 'Arry.
Sunderland drew at home with Southampton, a result that would have been pretty catastrophic if Wigan had been able to win at Arsenal. Wigan lost, so this was immaterial, but Di Canio has his work cut out to ensure Sunderland aren't struggling again next year. Bardsley's deflected shot put them ahead but the Saints drew level through my boy Jason Puncheon, who's been on the bench far too much for liking recently.
Over at Old Trafford, Manchester United paid tribute to Ferguson by rocking 70,000 plastic flags, the fucking losers. Those sneaky manc fucks ensured Swansea joined in with the flag waving by giving them flags commemorating their league cup win from this season. Paul Scholes was playing his last home game for United too, until he changes his mind in six months when he gets sick of watching Anderson embarrass himself in their midfield. Scholes had his name chanted all afternoon, well, when they weren't singing about us, obviously. No such luck for Ferguson though, 26 years and still no song.
What's with the Chelsea style flags ayway? Surely a more fitting tribute to Ferguson would be to actually have a decent song for him, I mean after all these years and trophies you'd think the Stretford End would have their own song for their greatest ever manager wouldn't you? Shocking state of affairs that, if he'd been Liverpool manager at any point or had any connection whatsoever to our club, they'd have definitely had a song for him, probably involving being 'scouse' and a 'bastard' and possibly something to do with being a 'murderer', but I guess winning 30 odd trophies isn't enough to warrant your own song from the United hordes. Tough crowd.
Can't see Moyes getting one either, unless he does really shit in which case he'll obviously be a 'scouse bastard', as that Everton/United love in is pretty much a one way street, as the Blues affections are certainly not reciprocated. And if any further evidence of that was needed, I just heard on the radio that two Everton players tried to get into Manchester United's end of season title party and had to be turned away by the doormen. This isn't a joke, it actually happened.
It seems Phil Neville was having his leaving do somewhere in Manchester, and two Everton players 'mistakenly' got the venue wrong and 'accidentally' showed up at United's party instead. The two players in question? Fellaini and Distin. I can just imagine how that went down:
Fellaini: "Alright lads, we're here for the title celebration party"
Doorman: "What have you brought him for? Moyesy specifically told you to bring Baines"
Fellaini: "Bainesy didn't wanna come, he gets homesick, just ask Fabio Capello"
Doorman: "Sorry lads, you ain't getting in."
As for the game itself, Swansea threatened to spoil the party despite conceding a poor early goal when Ashley Williams failed to clear a Van Persie free-kick and Hernandez pounced. Michu equalised in style with his 22nd goal of the season after the break, and Swansea played really well in the second half before conceding a late goal to Ferdinand.
Most of the talk afterwards surrounded Rooney and his absence from the 18 man squad. Ferguson said he assumed he hadn't wanted to play because he'd put in a transfer request, so he didn't pick him. No-one seems to know exactly what Rooney's problem with United is, maybe he's just fed up of being the Andrew Ridgely to Van Persie's George Michael? But then if he's Andrew Ridgeley, what does that make Danny Welbeck? Kajagoogoo maybe? Stefan Dennis? Daniel Sturridge scored more goals in one game at Fulham than Welbeck has managed in ten months. TEN FUCKING MONTHS!!! I probably owe Kajagoogoo and Stefan Dennis an apology.
He's a bit needy though Rooney isn't he? How many times has he done this now? Two? Three? Dunno how Colleen puts up with him, he must be a fucking nightmare around the house. "Wayne, do us a favour kid and put the bins out" "That's it, I don't get any respect around 'ere anymore, I'm leaving" "Wayne luv, there's no alphabetti spaghetti, will plain old spaghetti hoops do?" "Fuck off, if you loved me you'd have bought me the ones with the little letters in, not fucking hoops. I've had enough, I'm leaving" He isn't going anywhere, you just know the attention seeking, needy tart will still be at United in August.
According to the internet (that most reliable of sources), Rooney was rumoured to have been in a fight with Phil Jones, got his arse kicked and needed stitches. Him not making the United squad for the Swansea game further fuelled the rumours, but you could see when he went up to get his medal that there were no stitches. There was plenty of swelling around the face, but that's normal.
I'm not buying the Phil Jones fight story, but I wouldn't completely rule it out either. Jones is like the big, dumb kid who'd get picked on in school, but you'd have to be careful not to push him too far because if he lost his temper he'd do some real damage. Taunting these kids carried an element of risk, chances are you'd be fine but if he snapped and managed to get hold of you, it could get ugly as they invariably possessed what was referred to back then as 'mong strength'. As you can tell, political correctness wasn't big on school playgrounds back in the 80s.
I remember back when I was in 1st year seniors, there was a huge ginger haired kid with glasses who had cruelly been dubbed 'Beaker' after the character on the Muppets. Now this cat was big, he was over six foot tall when he was 12, but he was generally easy going unless his temper snapped, in which case look out.
Anyway, one day some lads were winding him up, taking the piss out of him to try and get a 'legger' from him. He may have been big, but wasn't the quickest unless he was in open spaces so generally he couldn't catch any of his tormentors as long as they avoided the playing fields. Except for this one day, when one of them tripped when climbing through a hole in the fence and got a size ten boot to the head for his troubles.
Word travels fast on the school playground, and no-one taunted that big lad again after that. If this Rooney rumour is true, you can bet none of the United players will be laughing at Jones and his stupid gurny face any more. If there's one player in the Premier League that you just know possesses (apologies for the lack of a better expression) 'mong strength', it's Jones.
Moving on, and there was another manager saying his goodbyes to his home crowd on Saturday. Like Ferguson he was from north of the border and is a bit of a twat, but his trophy cabinet isn't quite as full as that of the departing United boss. And by not quite as full, I mean emptier than a Scottish pay toilet.
I've got to admit, the whole Moyes love in at Goodison baffled me. The fact is that the Blues are playing their final two games of the season with Manchester United's manager in charge of their team. A fella who clearly conspired with Ferguson to run down his contract so he could take over at United and ensure Everton would not get a penny in compensation. Yet he was given the mother of all send offs by the Goodison crowd.
I half jokingly said last week that they see it as some kind of badge of honour that 'the great Manchester United' deemed one of their own worthy of a place at Old Trafford, but there's more truth to that than even I realised. Look at the crowd behind Moyes when Mirallas opened the scoring, there's a few taking pictures of him and you can see one lad beaming and shouting "Get in Moyesy lad". Bizarre behaviour. #evertonarentwe
They aren't all loons though, my cousin's a Blue and taking to him last week he couldn't understand it either, he said Kenwright should have told Moyes to fuck off as soon as he admitted he was taking the United job. He's in a minority it would seem.
They played some great stuff against West Ham, their first goal was lovely football and the likes of Baines, Pienaar and Mirallas were as prominent in this game as they were invisible at Anfield last week. That's the Moyes effect right there. At full time Moyes went to the centre circle and milked the applause of the crowd. Poor Bill Kenwright was in tears, bless him. Then again, Bill cries watching 'Britain's Got Talent', it would have been more surprising if he had managed to hold it together.
Elsewhere on Sunday, Spurs went to Stoke knowing they needed a win to keep alive their hopes of pipping Arsenal to fourth spot. Nzonzi headed the home side in front from - wait for it - a set piece. Dempsey equalised when Begovic came off his line only for a defender to clear straight to the American who gleefully rolled the ball into the empty net.
Charlie Adam getting sent off in this one was the biggest sure thing since…. well since Kenwright crying over Moyes. He hates Spurs does Charlie, especially Gareth Bale. He can't catch Bale these days though so settled for kicking lumps out of Vertonghen instead. The first booking was harsh but the second was just stupid as he lunged in from behind and hacked down the Belgian. After that Spurs took control and Adebayor tapped in at the back post to win it for Spurs late on, and they need Arsenal to drop points at Newcastle on the last day if they're to make the top four.
As for Stoke, well they lost so you know what that means; Tony Pulis complaining about the referee. Bizarrely he said that this was a 'day of celebration' ruined by the referee. Celebration of what exactly? Fucking nutcase. He'd be a perfect choice to replace Moyes, he's got that small time mentality that is so prevalent at Everton. He'd love Fellaini and Big Vic too, although Baines would be the first one out the door as full backs don't play football in the world of Pulis. Mind you, neither to midfielders or forwards.
Swiftly moving on, and Norwich put their relegation fears to bed with an emphatic win over West Brom at Carrow Road. The Baggies had the deckchairs out and this was easy for Norwich. Snodgrass fired them ahead, Holt made it 2-0 after a horrific error by Foster, McCauley then headed into his own net and Howson added a brilliant fourth to ensure another season in the top flight for Delia's boys. I'm glad they survived, Chris Hughton seems like a good guy, he's generally very dignified and he's done a good job to keep them up. Put it this way, look at the players Norwich have, and compare them to Wigan and ask yourself who should have had the best chance of staying up.
Wigan really shouldn't have gone down. That's not to say they didn't deserve to, as they did. It shouldn't have come to that though, but failure to beat Swansea at home last week combined with wins for the likes of Newcastle and Norwich on Sunday put them right behind the 8 ball as they say across the pond. Going to Arsenal and winning wasn't an impossible task, they did it this time last year in fact, but it was a seriously tall order.
They went behind to a Podolski goal from a corner. Once again it was horrific defending, the kind of defending they are synonymous with now. They've got the worst defensive record in the league, and that's why they won't be in it next season. Three goals in an eight minute spell sealed their fate and kept Arsenal in pole position for the final Champions League spot.
Also on Tuesday night, Man City won 2-0 at Reading but nobody cared, not even their own fans who were still grieving over Mancini. Aguero finished off a wonderful one touch passing move to give them the lead, and substitute Dzeko wrapped it up late on.
Dzeko was sporting the short sleeves with gloves combo, which I don't like at the best of times, but gloves in May? It's bad enough when it's an African player, but you can make some allowances for them as our 'summers' are colder than their winters, but where is Dzeko from? *checks wikipedia* Fucking Bosnia!! The only way I could respect him any less would be if he had 'Edin' on the back of his shirt and started wearing pink boots. Gloves in May *shakes head*
Dave
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