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Premier League Round Up (Mar 16-17 2019)

It was a reduced fixture list in the Premier League this weekend because of the “FA doing their bit to help City win a quadruple Cup”. 

 

While Andre Marriner was channeling his inner Paul Tierney to ensure a favourable result for the sky blue half of Manchester, things didn’t go so smoothly for the red half, as United were dumped out by Wolves. 

 

Amusing, yes, but in the big picture it’s bad news. Why?  Because it increases the odds of Pep's Financial Dopes winning another trophy and it decreases the odds of United hiring the Goblin full time. I was hoping Solksjaer wouldn’t be found out until next season, but that’s two defeats in a row now and he’s in danger of fucking the whole thing up. 

 

Enough about Micky Mouse cup competitions though, let’s get straight into the league action.

 

Somewhat surprisingly, the best game of the weekend was at West Ham, who were involved in a seven goal thriller with Huddersfield. Usually Huddersfield being in a game with seven goals would mean either a 7-0 or 6-1 loss, as they’d only scored more than once on one solitary occasion this season, so no-one could have predicted they’d put three past the Hammers. 

 

The fact it still wasn’t enough for them to even get a point must be pretty depressing for all concerned. They know they’re down but you don't want to go quietly. You want to go kicking and screaming, like West Brom last season for example. Huddersfield’s fighting spirit can’t be faulted but they’re just shite. They’ve probably got one win left in them though and I just hope it's not against us.

 

West Ham drew first blood when Noble calmly slotted a penalty after Lanzini had been brought down. Bacuna levelled so quickly that there were still bubbles floating all around the place. When did they start doing that? Is it a recent thing or did they do it at Upton Park. Can we still say Upton Park, or do we have to use “Boleyn Ground” now as that’s what they started calling it when they realised it’s days were numbered.

 

Back on topic though, he’s alright that Bacuna you know. At least he’s really stood out the last few weeks on MOTD, and that's all I can base it on. He’s been there all season but I’m only just noticing him now, so either he hasn’t played much or until recently he’s been shite.

 

*googles* Ok so it’s the former. Barely played before the turn of the year and is only just getting a proper run now. Might be worth keeping an eye on as he’s got something about him and is only 21.

 

Karlan Grant put them ahead when he rolled a shot into the bottom corner with his left foot. Then he made it 3-1 with a screamer with his right. He’s another one who I hadn’t noticed until recently, but that’s because they only bought him in January (from Charlton). Don’t know if he’s any good yet but in a few weeks he’s already scored more than their other strikers have between them all season. It’s an extremely low bar but he’s sailed right over it. 

 

That was as good as it got for them, as Ogbonna’s thumping header got the Hammers back in it and substitute ‘Cheatarito’ came off the bench to equalise. My boy J-Punch missed a late sitter for Huddersfield and then in stoppage time Hernandez glanced in the winner.

 

That Huddersfield manager won’t last long. He’s too emotional and a few times he’s had a moan about his players in his post match interviews. Rookie mistake that, but then he is a rookie (36 years old and plucked from Dortmund reserves). Bet Allardyce and the LMA fucking hate him.

 

Elsewhere, Brendan’s good start continued as Leicester pulled out a battling win at Burnley despite going down to ten men inside five minutes when Maguire was sent off for a professional foul. Where’s Martin Atkinson when you need him, eh slabhead??

 

Leicester went in front through a brilliant Maddison free-kick. What nobody seems to be arsed about is that it was some rampant cheating from him to win the free-kick in the first place. I noticed it immediately but the commentators never even bothered mentioning it, so I had to rewind it twice just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

 

I wasn’t. It was exactly how I saw it on first viewing. He jumps away from the ball and into the path of Tarkowski, and then collapses in a heap. I’m not sure the contact warranted him going down, but even if it did he fucking initiated it! 

 

He’s been doing it all season though. He’s one of the worst divers around but because he’s young and English people only seem to want to talk about his talent. He is definitely talented. He reminds me of Danny Murphy (which is a compliment as I always liked SuperDan), apart from the rampant diving which reminds me of Spurs. 

 

After the goal he was booked for removing his shirt and revealing a moving message in tribute to a 5 year old girl who died of cancer. Looked like he was fighting back tears too, the poor lad. Michael Oliver still booked him like, because y’know, rules and that.

 

Maddison defended Oliver on social media saying that "he was just doing his job. He didn't enjoy booking me and he offered his condolences about Sophie, which I thought was very classy". Yeah yeah, but he didn't actually need to book Maddison really, did he?

 

Usually I'm of the view that if you take your shirt off you deserve all you get. Everyone knows the rules, and why should a ref risk being marked down by his assessors by not enforcing the laws of the game. In this case I feel differently. Oliver is widely seen as the best ref in the league now, so that gives him a certain amount of sway in these matters. He doesn't need to be as much of a jobsworth robot as most of these other dicks.

 

He could have easily overlooked what Maddison did and told his bosses to fuck off. He could have said, "Sorry but I'm not going to book a lad who is grieving because a little girl he'd befriended had just died of cancer." 

 

He'd have had the whole nation in his corner, so what are they gonna do to him? Nothing, that's what. They wouldn't risk the public backlash. So show some fucking stones Oliver, you Mr Bean looking fucking dweeb.

 

Anyway, McNeil equalised with a low shot that Schmeichel should have kept out, and the winger then put one on a plate for Wood who somehow put it over from four yards. 

 

Burnley then had two penalty shouts turned down.  One when the ball hit Morgan’s arm as he challenged Crouchy for a header, and another when Taylor cut across N’Didi in the box and went down. Oliver had a good view of that and said ‘no way’. 

 

Interesting really because it was basically the same thing Maguire did and got sent off. Maguire’s contact was completely accidental as a player ran across his path, and N’Didi didn’t intentionally play his man either. 

 

Not sure what the difference is there other than the unofficial law that says Burnley are not allowed to have penalties. A couple of refs forgot about that recently and they had two in as many games, but obviously the memo has gone round again and normal service is resumed.

 

Morgan headed the winner in stoppage time (the 10th goal in added time Burnley have conceded this season) but Burnley still had a great chance to level seconds later, only for Vydra to be denied by Schmeichel.

 

Burnley are right back in the shit now, which feels weird because they had a run where they seemed to win every week. Then they lose a few and suddenly they’re neck and neck with Cardiff again. It’s all good though, we need them fighting for their lives when they play City.

 

Down on the south coast my boy Ryan Fraser was denied by the post in the opening stages of Bournemouth’s dramatic draw with Newcastle. Hell of a long journey for the fans that. I feel sorry for them actually. A seven hour coach journey with only deluded Geordies for company. Fate worse than death that. 

 

Decent game though at least. Rondon broke the deadlock with a glorious free-kick after the worm with eyebrows had been fouled by Ibe.

 

King equalised from the spot after the eagle eyed (and sparrow faced) Mike Dean spotted a foul on Ake. Wilson then thought he’d headed Bournemouth in front but Dummett got back to make a brilliant goal-line clearance. Tremendous that.

 

King bagged his second after good work by Solanke but former Bournemouth man Matt Ritchie stunned the home crowd when he lashed in an equaliser four minutes into stoppage time. He celebrated it too, which isn’t something you see too often these days. 

 

He knew he was going to get stick for it and was at great pains to point out afterwards how grateful he is to Bournemouth and how much he owes them. I think he handled it well to be honest. I mean, your team is in a relegation battle and you score a screamer with the last kick of the game to earn a point, you’d have to be pretty fucking weird not to get a bit caught up in the moment. 

 

As long as you don’t give it the full Adebayor there’s nothing wrong with being happy at scoring against your old team. That being said, the Adebayor celebration might be the funniest one I’ve ever seen. Truly glorious that was.

 

Onto Sunday now, and just what the fuck are Chelsea playing at? Everton can’t beat anyone these days and they hadn’t won at home for two months. They’re proper shite. Chelsea though, what a bunch of fucking quims. Completely spineless they are.

 

I watched the first half an hour or so and then had to go out. I expected to check in later and see that Chelsea had won by three or four because they were murdering Everton early on. They could have scored three in the first five minutes alone.

 

So I could hardly believe it when I found out the score later. Based on what I’d seen there was no way they weren’t winning that game. Hazard and Pedro were causing havoc and Barkley was on a mission to silence the boo boys.

 

The second half was all Everton though based on the MOTD highlights. Richarlison headed in from close range after that bum keeper fumbled a routine save. He’s the flop of the season and it’s not even close. The Chelsea keeper I mean, not Richarlison. He’s actually been pretty good and may have done enough to earn himself a move to a decent club this summer.

 

He won a penalty which Sigurdsson put too close to the keeper, who again made a meal of it and fumbled it straight back Sigurdsson who tapped in the rebound to make it 2-0.

 

Fuck both of these losers. The game was only a few minutes old and Chelsea fans were singing about Gerrard’s slip. What the actual fuck? It’s Everton. At Goodison. Why are they singing about something that happened to Liverpool five years ago? I don’t understand the motivation. Are they looking to make friends and impress Evertonians? Sad bastards.

 

Tell you something else. Hazard is not a great player. He’s massively talented (top five in the world, easily) but great players take games by the scruff of the neck and drag their team-mates over the line. 

 

The only time this little twat does that is when he’s playing us. He’ll be in Lionel Messi mode at Anfield in a few weeks time, absolutely no doubt about it. The sooner he fucks off the better, the little fair weather cunt.

 

Chelsea won’t get top four now. I thought they might as it was in their hands and they’d have gone fourth if they’d won this, just one point behind Spurs in third. For them to lose to a piss poor Everton in such a sorry, gutless fashion, tells me they’re gonna finish sixth as they’ve got no balls.

 

Sarri’s future is about as bright as Theresa May’s, albeit he’s a lot less popular with Chelsea fans.


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About Oliver booking a player for taking his shirt off. I get people will think it was a tragic event and they could have let it pass without a booking. Trouble is, who decides how tragic the next event is, or the next? At what point do referees let it slide and at what point do they book?

 

You can't have a rule as clear as this is and then wave it when it suits. We as fans have complained long enough about inconsistency and now we're calling for it to be allowed? I want less inconsistency.

 

The rule is the rule and the player knew what would happen. Fair play to him, and the ref. I never want to see a referee ignore the rules because of feelings, because that isn't fair. 

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Yep, one of the few rules that isn't open to interpretation. Suppose he got himself a 'take one for the team' yellow later on...couldn't Burnley be pissed he wasn't sent off? 

 

It's not like players couldn't pay tribute without a booking (grab a sign/tshirt with a message from the sideline, point to the sky, lift your playing shirt without removing it) but he chose the one that puts the ref and potentially his team in a very awkward situation. 

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45 minutes ago, UnwelcomeinPeru said:

Why is taking your shirt off a bookable offence? Is there a reason?

Somewhere between sponsors wanting the money shot on TV and players started using it for all kinds of messages. 

 

 

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Calling Upton Park the Boleyn Ground is such a load of shite. They called it that in a film I watched the other night when terrorists blew up one of the stands at the end of a game but they managed to evacuate the stand in just over a minute. Unbelievable story particularly the bit about  the game being a European semi-final. 

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12 hours ago, F*ck Off said:

About Oliver booking a player for taking his shirt off. I get people will think it was a tragic event and they could have let it pass without a booking. Trouble is, who decides how tragic the next event is, or the next? At what point do referees let it slide and at what point do they book?

 

You can't have a rule as clear as this is and then wave it when it suits. We as fans have complained long enough about inconsistency and now we're calling for it to be allowed? I want less inconsistency.

 

The rule is the rule and the player knew what would happen. Fair play to him, and the ref. I never want to see a referee ignore the rules because of feelings, because that isn't fair. 

Ordinarily I agree, and the point about where the line is drawn is a fair one.  

 

I'm not railing against the rule, I just tried to put myself in Oliver's shoes and wondered what I'd do, and I'm fairly certain I'd have just said, on this occasion, "bollocks to this, I'm not booking him".

 

That said, I'd have booked him for the dive he did to win the free-kick that he'd scored from, so he wouldn't have scored anyway if I'd been the ref, the cheating twat.

 

11 hours ago, A_S said:

Yep, one of the few rules that isn't open to interpretation. Suppose he got himself a 'take one for the team' yellow later on...couldn't Burnley be pissed he wasn't sent off? 

 

It's not like players couldn't pay tribute without a booking (grab a sign/tshirt with a message from the sideline, point to the sky, lift your playing shirt without removing it) but he chose the one that puts the ref and potentially his team in a very awkward situation. 

 

If he was booked later and Burnley were pissed off, I'd tell Burnley to fuck off and stop being whiny little babies.

 

I agree with the second point, and don't really see why players insist on having messages on their shirts when they know the consequences. It's not the rule itself I took issue with.

 

Oliver did what he had to. He's been a good little boy and will have earned himself more brownie points with his bosses. I just think it made him (the one ref with enough gravitas to have turned a blind eye) look like a jobsworth and personally I'd have thought a lot more of him if he'd just taken a stand and let this one go.

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10 minutes ago, dave u said:

Ordinarily I agree, and the point about where the line is drawn is a fair one.  

 

I'm not railing against the rule, I just tried to put myself in Oliver's shoes and wondered what I'd do, and I'm fairly certain I'd have just said, on this occasion, "bollocks to this, I'm not booking him".

 

That said, I'd have booked him for the dive he did to win the free-kick that he'd scored from, so he wouldn't have scored anyway if I'd been the ref, the cheating twat.

 

 

He would have gone down in my estimation if he hadn't produced the yellow card, you cannot have one rule for one instance and a quite different for another when exactly the same offence has been committed. You simply cannot allow feelings to rule football when officiating and to suggest it's ok is wrong. 

 

Would your opinion have been the same if Sterling or Aguero had done something similar, not been booked (while being on a yellow already) and it resulted in them scoring a winner? You see this rule isn't open to interpretation and that is what makes it a good rule. It doesn't need technology or three officials with a monitor. When you allow individuals interpretation to creep in, in what is a simple and easy to officiate rule, then it devalues the game. 

 

 

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You might see everything as black and white, rules are rules, no room for any kind of human feelings when you're a ref etc, but to me it's more nuanced than that.

 

Maybe I'm the Kirk to your Spock!

 

I see some areas of grey. For example, not giving a penalty against a player because you know his mum has just died is obviously something that can't happen. That would be ridiculous and unfair to the opposition.

 

That doesn't compare to a ref saying "I know I'm supposed to book him for lifting up his shirt, but he's clearly upset that a 5 year old girl he was close to has died of cancer, so you know what, sorry, I'm not going do it."

 

He took his shirt off, he didn't break someone's leg. I know what the rule says but who would have actually been hurt by Oliver not producing a yellow card? Even Sean Dyche would have found it difficult to moan about that one. If a Burnley player had then later done the same thing and been booked for it, they would have had cause for complaint. How likely is that though?

 

I'm not saying Oliver did anything wrong as he was enforcing the laws of the game just like he's paid to do. I give him credit in that he probably felt like a right twat doing it, whereas there are a few other refs that I doubt would even give a shit. He'd have had his knuckles rapped for not producing a yellow card and I expect pretty much every other ref in the country would have done exactly what he did.  

 

I just find it puzzling that people can see him doing that and their first thought is "good man, upholding the laws of the game" rather than "ah fucking hell, really?"

 

I don't think any less of him for producing the yellow card, but I'd have undoubtedly thought more of him if he hadn't.

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17 minutes ago, dave u said:

You might see everything as black and white, rules are rules, no room for any kind of human feelings when you're a ref etc, but to me it's more nuanced than that.

 

Maybe I'm the Kirk to your Spock!

 

I see some areas of grey. For example, not giving a penalty against a player because you know his mum has just died is obviously something that can't happen. That would be ridiculous and unfair to the opposition.

 

That doesn't compare to a ref saying "I know I'm supposed to book him for lifting up his shirt, but he's clearly upset that a 5 year old girl he was close to has died of cancer, so you know what, sorry, I'm not going do it."

 

He took his shirt off, he didn't break someone's leg. I know what the rule says but who would have actually been hurt by Oliver not producing a yellow card? Even Sean Dyche would have found it difficult to moan about that one. If a Burnley player had then later done the same thing and been booked for it, they would have had cause for complaint. How likely is that though?

 

I'm not saying Oliver did anything wrong as he was enforcing the laws of the game just like he's paid to do. I give him credit in that he probably felt like a right twat doing it, whereas there are a few other refs that I doubt would even give a shit. He'd have had his knuckles rapped for not producing a yellow card and I expect pretty much every other ref in the country would have done exactly what he did.  

 

I just find it puzzling that people can see him doing that and their first thought is "good man, upholding the laws of the game" rather than "ah fucking hell, really?"

 

I don't think any less of him for producing the yellow card, but I'd have undoubtedly thought more of him if he hadn't.

You are putting words in my mouth, I didn't think "good man" I thought it was shit but I understood why he had to do it and not allow his feelings to cloud his view. Forums are about discussion and opinion, I'm not changing mine and respect yours, but you're wrong. 

 

 

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