I’d be happy if we played on Friday night every week. There’s nothing better than laying down a marker and then watching your rivals try to respond…. and fail miserably.
City have really not responded well to being behind have they? The once invincible juggernaut that was being lauded by many as the greatest team in English football history has been brutally exposed over this Christmas period. Exposed by Roy Hodgson of all people.
Palace had drawn four and lost 19 of their last 23 combined visits to City and United. Incredible statistic that. A Manchester based record that bad usually has Mick Hucknall on vocals. As far as shock results go this is up there with anything we’ve seen in recent years. City then following it up by losing at Leicester was an added bonus, but I’ll get to that in due course.
The strangest aspect of it all is they had the lead in both games and blew it. You don’t see that often. Usually they go ahead and then that’s all she wrote.
Gundogan headed them in front against Palace and they looked to be on their way to a typically easy home win, but Palace pegged them back immediately as Schlupp made room for a shot and then drilled it across Ederson into the far corner. Dreadful from Kyle Walker though who had himself a proper Jon Walters of a day.
A minute later Walker conceded a foul after being skinned by Zaha and when City didn’t clear their lines properly, Andros Townsend leathered in a volley from 30 yards. I’ll be amazed if it’s not goal of the season. The technique to do something like that is off the fucking charts. Best volley I’ve seen since Mendieta lashed one in at the Nou Camp for Valencia.
That’s Townsend though. He’s good for three or four worldies every season. Made up he picked this fixture for one of them, especially after the one he hit against us earlier in the season was kept out by the crossbar. It’s little details like that which make me wonder if… well I’ll not say it, but you know.
2-1 to Palace at half time was great, mainly because it increased the chances of City being held to a draw. I wasn’t even considering the possibility of Palace actually winning it. Not until the second half started and they immediately went 3-1 up. That man Kyle Walker again. Conceding a pen this time.
Milivojevic buried the pen, which shouldn’t surprise anyone as let’s face it, he gets enough practice. Now it was very much a case of “can they actually hold on here?”. Yes. Yes they could. City did pull one back but it was a total fluke from De Bruyne.
Before the game I’d have been made up with a draw, but if they’d snatched an equaliser after being 3-1 down I’d have been gutted. Thankfully they didn’t, as Jesus put a late header over the bar and Palace held on. What a time to be alive.
The Palace right back is boss, I really like him. Part ex for Clyne at the end of the season maybe?
As for City, they’ve got two players for every position yet they’re utterly reliant on a 33 year old Brazilian in the middle of the park. Without Fernandinho they just can’t cope. Along with Zaha he might be the single most important player to any team in the league.
If you have that many attacking midfielders on the pitch then somebody has to do the dirty work, and Fernandinho is quite literally the only City midfield player who can do it. If he’s not playing when we go there we’ll fucking ruin them on the counter attack.
While City were losing at home to Palace, Chelsea were suffering the same fate at home against Leicester, who had quite the festive period didn’t they? Wins over Chelsea and City that not even the most optimistic of their fans could have expected.
Vardy got the only goal of the game at Chelsea when he ran onto a Maddison pass and lashed it home. Chelsea had chances to equalise but it wasn’t their day. Hazard hit the bar, Alonso hit the post and Rudiger headed inches wide.
That Leicester right back Ricardo looks a good player, he was involved in everything they did.
The Mancs had a good Christmas after they got rid of the Grinch and replaced him with the Goblin. Having gotten poor old Jose the sack, United’s players decided they’d finally put a shift in. For the first time all season they ran more than the opposition and Pogba looked like he was playing actual football and not just fucking about with his mates in the park.
Two deflected goals put them up against Cardiff, and although Cardiff pulled one back from the spot United ran away with it in the end. Seeing Solksjaer celebrating all those goals reminded me just how much I hated his fucking face when he played. Twat.
I hate Jesse Lingard’s face more though. I hate that face more than any other face I’ve ever seen. It’s quite literally the worst face in the world. I’m making a solemn vow here and now that I’m not going to watch any more United games this season unless they’re playing us.
Elsewhere, Redmond put Southampton ahead at Huddersfield and then Ingsy doubled their lead with an Aldo shuffle pen. Ings must have scored almost as many goals as Huddersfield this season. It feels like he scores every week, while Huddersfield are firing more blanks than poor old Boycey.
My boy Billing did pull one back with a speculative shot from 30 yards that went right in the middle of the goal. Dunno what the hell Alex McCarthy was doing there, but like most keepers he leapt to his feet and yelled at the man nearest to the goalscorer. Do they teach that at goalkeeper school?
18 year old Obafemi made it 3-1 after a gaffe by Schindler let Redmond in. There’s no way Huddersfield are getting out of this mess but Southampton are back in business now that they aren’t having the life sucked out of them by that miserable sour faced fuck Mark Hughes.
To the Emirates now, where Ozil returned for Arsenal and was given the captain’s armband. The stick didn’t get the lazy cunt to actually pull his finger out, so maybe the carrot will? Aubameyang scored twice to put them in a commanding position, but Barnes pulled one back to make it interesting, and Iwobi wrapped it in stoppage time.
Dyche went off on one big time about Arsenal players diving and about a penalty decision Burnley didn’t get. He was talking shite on the pen. “We didn’t get it because Kevin Long went down naturally”. Yer wha?? He went down like a sack of shite after feeling hands on his back. It wasn’t even a shove. Kolasinic put two hands on Long’s back but not enough to justify the way he went down.
I don’t blame Long in the slightest. The last penalty they had was about six years ago. They’ve had clear pens not given so if any of their players want to milk some contact I’m good with that, as everyone else does it so why not.
Dyche generally has a point when it comes to diving and their lack of pens, but there was nothing ‘natural’ about the way his big centre half collapsed in a heap.
My boy Troy scored from the spot and then fucked up his knee slide celebration as he tried to goad the West Ham crowd. Loved that whole passage of play. West Ham had loads of chances to equalise but didn’t take any of them, and Deulefeu’s classy little finish wrapped up a good away win for the Hornets.
A nice solo goal from Brooks set Bournemouth on their way to a 2-0 win against Brighton. He also scored their second with a terrific header. Good little player him, although he only looks about 12. Takes after his manager.
By far and away the best bit in this game though was Mike Dean issuing a red card to Lewis Dunk and casually telling him “off you pop”. I think we reached peak Mike Dean there. The only way that could have been any better is if it was an Arsenal player he did it to.
I’m highly amused by Dean and I’m almost certain it’s because he isn’t allowed to referee our games, so we’ve never been on the receiving end of his eccentricity. “Off you pop” hahahaha.
Mitrovic returned to St James’ Park as Fulham picked up a useful point. They probably should have won as they had the best chances, although Newcastle were denied a clear penalty when that useless American centre half tugged Kenedy’s arm as he went for a header. That Kamara lad came off the bench and looked like he was shot out of a canon. Fucking hell he’s fast.
Onto Sunday, and what a fucking joke Everton are. Embarrassing twats. Conceding six at home is just not acceptable, especially when you led 1-0. I know Spurs are good, but even so, that’s pitiful. Then again, having bent over for City a couple of weeks earlier only to see Guardiola’s side then fall behind us, they’re probably just hedging their bets aren’t they?
Spurs might be the biggest challengers to us, so of course they can expect an easy ride from Everton. Pickford dropped his weekly bollock for the first goal and could easily have been sent off for a terrible lunge on Alli. The Spurs man was offside, so that might have saved Pickford, but it was a shocker and it was highly dangerous. He’s a reckless cunt him though when he comes charging out. Can’t stand him and his little scrunched up tourette’s face.
I can’t even remember who scored for Spurs. I think they all did. I don’t like Pochettino, he seems like a bit of a knob, but fair play, his interview on MOTD2 when he was talking about not buying his wife an anniversary present was very funny. Still a prick though.
Marco Silva has a bad stink of the Emperor’s New Clothes about him. He’s the only manager to concede six goals in a game with three different teams.
So to summarise, Everton are shit.
Fortunately for them Burnley are even worse so on Boxing Day the Blues finally won their first game since they lost at Anfield. It was a rout too. They were 3-0 up after 20 minutes and ended up winning 5-1.
Mina put his seven foot frame to good use and headed them in front after a minute. Shame he didn’t use it as effectively when he allowed Sterling to score a fucking header against him two weeks ago.
Digne scored twice and sucked his thumb in celebration. Presumably he’s paying homage to Luis Garcia. He’ll never admit it of course, they’d string him up, but we know. Your secret’s safe with us lad.
Good footballer him actually. He might even be Everton’s best player, although I’m basing that solely on what he does with the ball. I have no idea if he can defend or not as I’ve not watched him closely enough. I’m assuming he can’t, as if he was as good defending as he is going forward then he wouldn’t be at Everton.
Burnley though. Fucking hell. Grim. Joe Hart has been brilliant this season but his attempt at keeping out that Digne free-kick was embarrassing. His positioning was almost as bad as the dive.
As for Spurs, they followed up their rout at Everton by battering Bournemouth at Wembley to go second. They played some lovely stuff and Bournemouth fell apart after conceding a couple. They’d actually started really well and had two great chances to go ahead. They didn’t take them and Spurs punished them.
Bournemouth’s recent run has been terrible but it’s mostly because they’ve played all of the top six more or less consecutively. They’ve done ok against everyone else but the top sides have taken them to the cleaners this year and they’ve been unlucky with how the fixtures have given them so many difficult games in a short space of time.
The question now is whether the bad run will affect the confidence they had earlier in the season when they were 7th.
Spurs are flying now though and Son is great. If I could have any player from Spurs he’d be the only one I’d actually take I think. Actually no I’d have Eriksen as well, but Son would be my first choice.
Interesting that they’re second now. Does that make them more of a threat to us than City? Not for me, but it all depends on how City react. They didn’t cope too well with being overtaken by us and now they’ve dropped below Spurs too. They might collapse completely for all any of us know. Unlikely, but then who’d have thought they’d lose three of their last four?
After they lost to Palace I looked at their next two fixtures and thought both had the potential for them to drop points. I mean, the chances were they’d still win both, but I did feel that Leicester and Southampton are both capable of giving them a game if City were below their best.
Palace beating them was fucking massive because it removed that aura of invincibility they had. I know they’d already lost to Chelsea this season and United last, and of course we beat them three times this year too, but that means nothing to sides lower down the table. When they see Palace doing it though, that’s a whole different kettle of fish.
Leicester’s mindset will have changed massively after that, especially as they were coming off their own great win at Stamford Bridge.
City went in front early doors through Bernardo Silva but Albrighton’s superb header from a Vardy cross levelled things up. City had a few of those typical moves where Sane got to the byline and tried to pick out Sterling, but Leicester just about managed to smuggle them clear.
City had their moments but really didn’t threaten too much and Leicester won it with a screamer by Ricardo, who followed up his terrific performance at Chelsea with another barnstormer.
Delph was then sent off late for the kind of tackle that was seen as textbook not so long ago. Get the ball then hit the man. Can’t do it anymore, and although more often than not it probably wouldn’t be a red, the ref was more than entitled to send him off.
Hopefully Southampton were watching this and have something similar planned for Sunday. They’ll need to do better than they did on Thursday night when they lost at home to West Ham. They led in that game, but Felipe Anderson hit them with two boss goals and they never recovered.
The Mancs made it two wins from two under the Baby Faced Gobshite. They’ve played Cardiff and Huddersfield though, so big fucking deal. I didn’t watch any of their win over Huddersfield and I’ve got nothing else to say about it.
Brighton had lost three on the bounce so a home game with Arsenal wasn’t exactly the kind of fixture they’d have wanted. They fell behind early to a smart finish by Aubameyang, who we’re really going to have to keep a close eye on this weekend.
Credit to Brighton though, they didn’t let their heads drop and they thought they’d levelled through Murray, but Anthony Taylor had other ideas and ruled it out. Matt Ryan made a couple of great saves to keep them in it and they got their reward when Locadia ran onto a long ball over the top and went around the keeper to score easily.
Arsenal all over that. Long straight ball over the middle and they couldn’t deal with it. For all the improvements they’ve made they’re still absolutely shite at centre half. They got done again in exactly the same way later on but Solly March put it over the bar. Good point for Brighton to stop the rot, but the draw was of little use to Arsenal.
Remember when they beat Spurs and thought the balance of power in North London was shifting? They’re now seven points behind them. They’re the London equivalent of the Blueshite, although at least they were making silly boasts after WINNING a derby and not losing it.
Wolves v Fulham was pretty entertaining. Plenty of chances and some nice football played. Sessegnon came off the bench to open the scoring with 15 minutes left but Says levelled soon after. Mitrovic almost won it right at the death but Coady got back to clear off the line.
It was the Dinosaur Derby as 71 year old Hodgson took on 70 year old Warnock. It ended 0-0 but Palace completely dominated the game.
Connor Wickham played for Palace. Now there’s a blast from the past. Reminds me of last season when Stoke wheeled out Stephen Ireland after about a six year absence. Where the fuck is Benteke though?
Wilfried Zaha is so fucking good though. Absolutely fantastic player. Brilliant skill and balance (except when he’s in the box!) and he runs like a fucking gazelle.
Finally, Chelsea bounced back from their loss to Leicester by recording a hard fought 2-1 win at Watford. Hazard put them in front with his 100th goal for Chelsea. He’s brilliant, one of the best players we’ve seen in recent years, but is it just me or has it taken him an awfully long time to reach his century? That’s a little over two years work for Mo that.
Pereyra equalised with a terrific volley from distance but Hazard won it from the spot after he’d been taken out by Foster. I didn’t mind Chelsea winning that, because the thought occurred to me; what if City keep losing? Wouldn’t it be funny if they were overtaken by someone else, as well as us and Spurs?
I think I’d shit a lung if they didn’t even finish in the top three, but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. Not yet.
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