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This is taken from today's Mirror. Mirror_Rafa's plans in tatters Liverpool's transfer plans in tatters after Alonso deal collapses By David Anderson 16/07/2008 Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez Rafa Benitez must feel like jumping off the imposing Jungfrau mountain which towers over Liverpool's training camp at picturesque Interlaken. After months spent working out his summer transfer strategy to the last detail, the Reds boss woke this morning to find more holes in his plans than a piece of Swiss cheese. Juventus' decision to pull out of a £14million move for Xabi Alonso has wrecked his strategy, leaving it teetering on the brink of collapse. Because of the financial pressures at Anfield, Benitez has known all summer that who he could buy depended on who he could sell. And Alonso's switch to Turin was supposed to fund Gareth Barry's signing from Aston Villa. But Juve boss Claudio Ranieri's announcement yesterday that he had ended his interest in Alonso leaves Benitez seriously short of readies. He could do with finding a friendly Swiss banker in Interlaken because all he has rattling round in his piggy bank is £8m. And with Martin O'Neill adamant that Barry will not be leaving Villa Park for less than £18m, that leaves him £10m short in his attempts to land his No.1 summer transfer target. Liverpool have tried to get round their cash flow problems, but their offer to pay for Barry in three £5m instalments, plus a further £2m in add-ons, has been rejected out of hand by Villa. The Anfield boss has also been forced to sell Scott Carson for a knockdown £4m because Villa refused to take up the option to buy the England goalkeeper for £8m. Benitez did manage to squeeze £11m out of Portsmouth for Englland striker Peter Crouch and has generated another £6.5m by offloading John Arne Riise and Danny Guthrie. However most of this has been swallowed up by the £10.5m combined signings of Diego Cavalieri and Andrea Dossena. Benitez has been honest about the club's situation, saying: "We know the situation regarding what we can spend and we are trying to find solutions if we do not have enough money. "We are still trying to sign players who will make us better, but if you do not have too much money - and that is clear - we will have to have a little bit of imagination to progress in the market. "We know we will have to sell some players if we want some cash so we have to do that." Benitez is becoming increasingly frustrated by Barry's transfer saga, which is threatening to run for longer than the Mousetrap. He had hoped to have the England star on board for his Swiss training camp, but can only look on helplessly as the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months. The cash shortage has already forced Benitez to abandon plans to raid his old club Valencia for Spanish stars David Villa and David Silva because of a lack of funds. And his lack of financial muscle in the transfer market was painfully reinforced when he was priced out of moves for Newcastle's James Milner and Espanyol's Albert Riera. He might also have to give up hope of signing Robbie Keane - the second name on his list of targets - unless he can generate some cash fast. Tottenham dismissed Liverpool's first offer for Keane of Crouch and £5million and now the Reds don't even have the England striker to offer as part exchange. Spurs would sell for £18m, but this is way beyond what Benitez can scrape together. His big hope is that he can find a buyer for Alonso and Atletico Madrid have shown interest in the past, although the Spanish midfielder would prefer a move to either rivals Real Madrid or Barcelona. And claims in Spain that Alonso has attracted the attention of Arsenal have been flatly denied by the clubs and the player's agent. Benitez admits: "We have a fantastic group of young players and in the future they will save us money. "At the moment, we still have to buy big names and the only way to do that is to sell players. Everybody knows what our ideas are and what players we want. We are working hard with different names now. "The fans trust us. We are working hard this summer and we have a lot of different people in different countries working for us." All this angst for Benitez is in contrast to last summer when he was finally able to spend it like Chelsea as he splashed out over £42million on Fernando Torres, Ryan Babel and Yossi Benayoun. The problem now is that Liverpool's move across Anfield Road to their new home on Stanley Park has put a serious drain on their resources. The costs have spiralled since the plans were first unveiled and the latest figure prices the stadium at £400m. All this is bad news for Benitez and while Sir Alex Ferguson and Luiz Felipe Scolari have almost unlimited transfer funds at their disposal, he is left trailing in their wake even before a ball is kicked this season.

My ex has asked me to go to a wedding with her in London at the end of the month. To entice me she said she’s got a suite at the hotel and she’ll “wax herself smoother then a billiard ball” as she “knows I like that” if I come over. What should I do? I don’t want to go out with this girl again (she may not want to go out with me again either), but it’s a free night on the lash and a ride. I need some GF wisdom.

I found Catch 22 merely alright as I was so frustrated with there being no actual story that it let me get the better of enjoying some of the honetsy and comedy of the book like I ought to have enjoyed. However, that pisses all over the massively dissappointing "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. It reads like a bad acid flashback and puts the hippy in bad stinking hippy. Anyone like it? What the fuck is he on about?

is a frightening place eh? if you think its bad now (during my youth) wait and see what it's going to be like when my kids are growing up! people getting beaten to death because they are gay? imagine how the lad felt in his last few minutes of life... one minute he was having a party and having a laugh with his mates, the next a well known thug turns up and starts to beat the shit out of him simply because he was different. if the twats that done this arn't thinking about how the lad felt already, someone should make them. surely that would play on their minds and make them feel sorry for what they've done... then again, some people just don't care. it's heartbreaking to me to think how the lad was feeling and i don't know him or know anybody that does. it's scary as fook how these scallys can physically harm another person to such an extent and not feel bad. i'v got a gay mate, sometimes he's a bit excentric and some of the little gay things he does are annoying but you can easily laugh about it. i stayed in his flat with my girlfriend once while he went away and some of the DVDs and magazines we found we're grose, but then, you can still laugh about it. i could never dream of beating him up because he is gay. obviously we don't know the circumstances yet but if it comes out that the lad had bullied someone or what ever it still doesn't require a gang of inbreds to come round and kill you. there is a way of dealing with things that young people seem to have missed out of their learning. i'm am genuinly considering moving out of the city and built up areas when i start a family. you would hope that in a little village somewhere the kids will be safer but we'll see. there are so many great things about this city that would stop anyone wanting to leave but the amount of scum who are happy to live and die as scum is plain wrong. sorry if that was a bit long, just felt like i could do with letting a few things out. cheers if you read it.

Congratulations, we are all sexy bastards. Obviously the Welsh are ugly as fuck.

Just been given the No.1 shirt but from the looks of it, he's not staying long : Coat Not made me mind up about him yet. Prefer Riddler Martin.

I have been quite critical of Rafa over the last two seasons as I feel he has made numerous mistakes that have impeded our progress. However, there are a number of little signs that it might finally have clicked with him what's required to win the league in England: whether by choice or necessity, he seems to be thinning the squad down a bit. he is signing players for key positions who are experienced in this country and in the prime of their footballing lives. he has steadily brought in more and more players with genuine pace (Torres, Babel, Keane, the two new full backs apparently). he is increasing the number of reliable goal scorers and maximising the goals from existing ones by using them appropriately (ie Gerrard in attack). he's bringing in more leaders/characters (The Chief, Keane, Barry). he is providing width from the full back positions. he is settling down the changes into a reliable system. Now I'm well aware that he is more than capable of confounding all my growing hopes for the new season by doing a few mad things like changing the formation or dropping Gerrard back into the centre of midfield, but as things stand right now, I am more (cautiously) optimistic than I have been in a good while. I think there are still some significant question marks over the side, many of which will be answered soon enough when we see what happens. I also feel that the squad is some way short of matching the strength of those of The Mancs and Chelsea. However, as long as Dossena is a player, our first team now is as good as anyone's in my opinion and Rafa looks like he's finally learned many of the lessons English football teaches. Here's to hoping.

Sorry if this has been posted but why is Ray Houghton here with Keane before the Villareal match?

Since I can't get up to Ibrox for the game tomorrow I was going to go on the lash with the lads instead. However I can't seem to find a channel that we're on. Does anyone know if we're on the box?

Is there a deadline for when the dates and times have to be confirmed? In the qualifier, can both legs be played on the same weeknight? (Tuesday 12th and Tuesday 26th etc) Looking at the Sunderland (16th), Boro (23rd) and Villa (31st) games, you would imagine Liverpool would rather play the first leg on the 12th and the second on the 27th.