Just read Yorkshire Reds reply to Stig and all I can say is well said that man.
I don't have the facility to rep for some reason, but if I could I would.
Grief is a terrible thing, anybody who has been through it will tell you that.
Do your grieving now Mate and don't try and ignore it.
It's a very painful but very necessary process.
I lurked on here for many years before I actually joined and I know there are a lot of very good people here who will listen, understand and support you as best they can.
It's really early days Mate and it'll probably get worse before it gets better, but it WILL get better.
I'm sure you're in a lot of people's thoughts,
I know you're in mine.