Harry Squatter

According to various papers, particularly the Daily Express is because we have picked and chosen our competitions and saved ourself for only one tournament. We have devalued the whole of football by doing this and the likes of Man U and Chelsea should be there instead because they have bothered to put up a fight in the league, FA & Carling Cup. I just think it's because we know how to play in Europe and the rest of the Premier League are all bitter, jealous cunts.

We wont get more than 4/5 million for him, Aston Villa, Fulham if they stay up, Man City and Portsmouth may buy him, he'll start off well, something will go wrong, he'll throw a hissy fit then end up as obscure as Salif Diao.

How is Risdale still able to walk the streets safely? - surely some Leeds nutters must have tried to kill him by now?

England caps don't really give a good indication of how good someone is. I'm sure Howard Kendall and Colin Harvey were better players that Geoff Thomas and Carlton Palmer. In my opinion Chris Lawler was the best Liverpool full back ever, the fact that he won only 4 England caps is immaterial. How much would an attacking full back be worth now who could score 61 goals without needing penalties or free kicks? He could also play centre back equally as good. Alves is rated at about 17M so how much would Chris Lawler be worth?. With regards to Ball Harvey and Kendall, I think Everton are OTT calling them the best midfield ever, but then again Bill Kenwright did say once that they invented the beautiful game and not Brazil so nothing should really surprise us.

I would say so yes, mind your arse doesnt burn on the lightbulb though

Its crap - it is just complete and utter misery, does anyone in it ever have a happy life? Someone is always miserable/hates everyone/has affairs/gets aids/has a domineering mother/is always skint/always arguing/has no luck with birds/no fit birds are in it - i could go on but I would probably get too depressed, stay in tonight with a bottle of Teachers Whisky and throw it a family photo.

Yep she's on it somewhere, she's absolutely huge

Well its not everyone's cup of tea, most people just watch it for the breast enlargement operations. Anyway, am I allowed Joanne Lees the bird of the murdered Aussie backpacker Peter Falconio? - there is something about that I find weirdly attractive and not the fact that she may/may not be guilty. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joanne_Lees

Is Madonna ugly enough to get on here?

Just been away with my footy team to Madrid, there were 10 kopites and 2 blues, honestly it is the funniest thing in the world to wind them up, they take the bait every time, the whole weekend we kept winding them up constantly. My mate is a pure wind up merchant and loves saying anything to get them going. He told them that Evertons' CWC victory in 1985 was now obsolete as it didn't exist anymore, it took literally 5.789 seconds for them to mention Heysel and that 1986 would have ben the year that saw Everton conquer Europe. They then launched into the usual "How much did we beat you at Goodison, you're all woolybacks, benitez is a crap manager etc" - We met some Anderlecht supporters in a bar and 5 of them started singing Liverpool songs but one said he supported Everton. The other Anderlecht fans said "I think he was abused as a child" - quality. If we ever got bored we wound them up and they took the bait every single time!

OK, I admit defeat. Mind you, you can find lots of random birds on that link - just seen jet off Gladiators on it. Do you reckon she would have let hereself go enough to be on this thread now?

I hate buying car insurance, i know i'm getting ripped off but its better than your car being put outside the bizzy station with a big yellow sticker on it to warn scallies off doing the same.

Would it make you feel any better if i said that I'd bang Fern Britton?

she doesnt look good on here http://www.ukgameshows.com/page/index.php/Alex_Lovell can't believe im having to persuade someone that a woman is ugly so I can justify wanting to bang her!

If I put that Alex Lovell on the Talent Thread I would get laughed at

She goes from looking ok to looking minging, she presents Brainteaser and looks ok then presents BBC Bristol and looks like a bag of shite

I'd bang Alex Lovell off Channel 5's Brainteaser, she pushes the right buttons for Doctor Troy anyway. http://www.alexlovell.com/pictures1.htm

Newcastle are an embarassment to English football. What happened to winning the Premiership? - thats what all your bell end fans said when you signed Owen?

in 04/05 Everton had a run of games and 3 Evertonians sitting opposite me were getting really cocky - they'd do overtime on a saturday and go the game in the afternoon - I can remember them playing spurs and the whole morning dedicated to formations and tactics - saying "Yep, we'll be in 5th if we win, a position only Kopites can dream of being in" - They lost the spurs game and all 3 were off on the Monday. They also miraculously were all off ill with the flu on the 26th May 2005

Was talking to my mate last night who has been a "die hard blue" for years even though he hasn't been to a game for at least 3 years. Some of the things that he comes out with are corkers. He made a bet with his brother in the late 90's that Danny Cadamarteri would outscore Micheal Owen over the next 3 seasons and get a full England cap before him. He was convinced when Joseph Yobo was signed by Everton that only after a handful of games he was better than Alan Hansen, simply because the back pass law had been changed. He says that his uncle has a video of Steve McMahon and Steve Nicol snorting coke off a table in the pub he used to own - bear in mind that a) no footballer would really take drugs in such an open fashion and b) Video cameras in the late 80's/early 90's were bigger than Joey Boswells mobile phone and very difficult to hide. He is convinced that Everton would have easily beaten any team in Europe in 1986, even if Liverpool had beaten Juventus and won the cup, Liverpool would have been beaten as Everton were the best team in Europe, even though they came 2nd twice to us the year after Despite what "the fat spic" says he still maintains that Everton are a bigger club than Liverpool due to having more local suport and the fact that they were the bank of england club during the 50s and 60s, according to him they have a better history than us. Liverpool won absolutely nothing until Bill Shankly arrived in 1959, despite the fact that we had won the league the same amount of times as them up until this date. 7 League cups does not count as it is the Mickey Mouse cup - even though Everton have never won this trophy they always seem intent on deliberately getting themselves knocked out by lower league opposition in the early stages. Moyes is a better manager than Benitez, as Benitez has unlimited funds he has merely bought the success that he has, not grafted and used his "initiative" like Moyes. All Liverpool local supporters are armchair fans who cant be bothered going to support their team, unlike Evertonians. I am sure some of you have a few more classics to add to this list.

Lucas Neill

Unfortunately I think they will though - they are on a roll and have spawned a few results like they did when they qualified 2 years ago. They might even get silly ideas about overhauling us for 4th

My Dad told me "Never trust a man who doesn't like footy, he's either a bender or a weirdo"

the Raiders of the lost ark one is stolen - I hold my hand up to that

Copped off with some blonde bird with massive baps in the Revolution once when I was bladdered - so she looked like a stunner, met her again the following night but I was sober and she looked rough as arseholes, I was looking around to see if anyone I knew was out as I didnt want anyone to see me out with such a rough scrubber. Went to O'Neills the Irish bar because I've never heard of anyone I know ever going there and started getting drunk because she was boring me to death, I went to describe something to her using my hands but knocked her glass of wine out of her hand, it smashed on the floor and cut her on the leg - she then started shouting at me calling me allkinds, the whole pub went quiet and I turned around and 6 lads from my footy team were there wondering why I was with such a minger, they didnt buy my excuse that we were work colleagues meeting up before going to a party, she then limped out the pub with blood gushing out from above her ankle saying "Don't ever phone me again you dozy c**t". I still get ripped now about it.