deiseach

Should I read that in the voice of Michael Corleone, of Silvio doing a Michael Corleone, of Dave doing Silvio doing a Michael Corleone, or whatever Dan is meant to be doing?

Harsh but fair.

I'll take that as a 'yes'.

Is 'not old enough to have seen Everton win a trophy in her lifetime' enough of an answer?

They're just being pricks. Look, I don't want to be seen as a troublemaker in case I bump up against the LFC admin equivalent of John Brooks, so I'll give it a year. At least my wife and I are both in the lower Main Stand so we might even be able to sit together if someone doesn't turn up.

I've mentioned before how one of my wife's cousins is a massive Blue. He has spent a lifetime trying to inculcate everyone in the succeeding generation to follow in his bitter footsteps. One effort involving taking his niece to an Everton-West Ham game, and he got a result - she started supporting West Ham! And whaddya know, she got to celebrate seeing her team win a trophy earlier than she would have done if she had listened to him. Isn't life grand?

I'm sure this will bring out the forum's inner Super Furry Animal (Sympathy, sympathy / You want some: Don't come to me) but my request to be seated next to my wife has been knocked right back, so any chance of taking our son regularly, or even occasionally, is on hold. I'm beginning to simmer down after the initial feeling of disappointment, but it's still disappointing. Maybe next year.

Bitter behaviour that.

This is what is on offer:

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it - Upton Sinclair

I'm giddy as fuck. November 2001 seems like a long time ago - mainly because it was.

1006.

I'm genuinely delighted they won. On a macro level, it's great to see a club that unexpectedly found themselves in Europe actually taking it as a boon rather than a burden. Yeah, you might get relegated because of the wear and tear of a long season. Well, eventually every non-moneybags club will get sucked into the relegation maelstrom (with one exception - too soon, Dave?) How about making the most of the European experience? On a personal level, I have an oddly vivid memory of meeting a couple of West Ham fans in a pub after England played Switzerland back in 2011. The talk got to the FA Cup final back in 2006 and I braced myself for some vitriol about fackin jammy Scahrse cahnts. Nope. They were totally easy-come-easy-go about it all, which really impressed me considering it must have felt like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity missed. I'm thinking of those lads tonight. The opportunity came around for them again. I hope they fill their boots.

In my lifetime Hibs have won the Scottish Cup and the Cubs have won the World Series. That's all I'll say.

He broke my heart, getting fired from Everton.

20th Century Fucks.

I'm probably going to the Villa game tomorrow. If I go, I'll leave not long after full time.

I'm guessing all the ads today are about sex shops in Brighton.

A little off topic, but it's dispiriting that the Beeb will fact-check some delusional nobody in real time while Tory cunts lie over and over again and are protected by the need to be 'impartial'.

Liverpool have bought three forwards in the last 18 months. Diaz has definitely worked out. Gakpo looks like he will work out. Nunez looks like he won't. Two out of three ain't bad. Take the hit and move on, for the good of both parties.

'Wat Tyler' approved that message. Irony is dead.

My first job interview after coming back to England was with a Man Utd fan and a Wigan Warriors fan. This was just after St Helens had won the Super League again and I asked the latter whether she was putting away her Catalan Dragons colours. "Let's move on" she said with a weary sigh while the Man Utd fan joined me in an evil cackle at her misfortune. I bring this up because my wife and I were talking the other day to a woman who felt the need, when it came up in conversation that we met at Anfield, to mention that she was a "card-carrying, season-ticket holding supporter of Manchester City." It was barked at us in an amazingly passive-aggressive manner, so much so that even my wife, who normally draws out people in exploring their interests to the point where she used apologise for the crimes of empire to everyone she met in Ireland until I told her to bloody well stop, said nothing in response. Afterwards I asked her whether I imagined the 'challenge' that came across in her voice and she said that if I did, she imagined it as well. Now maybe we read the woman wrong, but I definitely felt an easier rapport with the aforementioned Man Utd fan than I did with the City fan. The new bitters is right.