gkmacca

What is this, the Daily Mail? He doesn't look THAT different, if you replace the 'I've just arrived' smiley pic with one of countless 'focussing on the game' pics from his first season. He's just grown a beard and put on weight.

Yes, even now, when he'd make some oil tankers look svelte and nippy, I wouldn't miss him playing a Masters' match because he still makes the game look so magically simple and elegant - he never wastes the ball. Him, Didi and Digger in his latter years were fantastic like that, but Jan was peerless at possession football and intelligent use of the ball. An absolute privilege to watch.

Memory lane: Reading and NHS failed Cech, claims Mourinho - Premier League, Football - The Independent

Even his bollocks have a paunch by the look of those kecks! Hilariously surreal scenes!

What can we learn from this poll? I guess one thing is: some fans on here appear happy for those who spoke to The Times, rather than those who logged on to RAWK, to speak for them. And Avram Grant ('a relegated manager') is very popular with Pompey fans: who would've thunk it.

Hi, I'm Michael Owen, international superstar and Real Madrid legend. I will sign commemorative mementoes at the door, which, as I'm sure you already know, there is a charge for. I'm sure you want to thank me for coming. You're welcome. This is a family club. It's a family club that would have made Charles Dickens write a frenzied critique of the immorality of commerce and then run and throw up over the hired aspidistra. But it's a family club by football standards. You see, whenever one new mercenary arrives, an old mercenary is happy to be hired to greet him. Look at little David Moores. He's only just out of leg irons. He doesn't want you to think he's a liar. But he has just been in leg irons. And he's not that well now. And he's not sorry but his tummy's awfully sore! Oh feck off! Look, Real Madrid have had loads - LOADS - of stats. Ask Code. And we've hired a cunt. Maureen. Our cunt now, not yours. That's all that matters, you outdated moralistic - ha ha! - dinosaurs! I can't tell you how much I'm going to enjoy - seeing other players - winning things now. Mainly because my brain has still a weird cell or two of conscience that's REALLY wrecking my bloody enjoyment. But that's football. And that's all about winning. Come on Maureen. Run down the line! Come ON!! Make it all better! RUN DOWN THE LINE!!!!

Thanks for the link mate.

And blind!

I know. I wasn't referring to you.

:D I guess, to be fair, Johnson's made something of a career of seeming contrary!

Painfully good.

Oh right. So he's a red again and not a cunt? But will the lynch mob now allow him to live?

That face could have been used by Eisenstein to demonstrate the principle of montage. Show it alongside an image of a drum-playing gorilla, a whistling kettle, a man on a tightrope, an unlocked door, Peter Purves, a sickly dog, a heated argument in the Leyland Transport Museum, a speech by Ed Balls, a Dublin sky or Jimmy Stewart confronting a nun on a staircase, and it will send out the right signals. It's a face of such bewildering blankness, stained only by indeterminate anxiety, you can only pity the soul behind it. Best of all: show it alongside a large poster that says, 'Out of his depth'.

Okay, mates. So there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that we are now 100% free of injuries. The bad news is that we no longer have any players.

Agreed. He's a naive and pretty dim but there's nothing seriously mendacious about the bloke when it comes to the club.

Jesus Christ, Les. It's a hard task to make Davey Moores sound professional, but you've managed it.

"Dear Tony, [...] Yours faithfully" He can't even write a letter properly. All the same, for fans who are supposed to know all about the reality of death and loss and suffering, the way diseases, fatal car crashes and terminal illnesses are wished on others every other post on here is sick-making. Withering contempt and hatred is quite sufficient.

What's that, Skippy? Nando's gone and twisted his ankle? On international duty? Stupid bloody bastard! And what else, Skip? Gerrard's body language is out of sorts? I'll soon sort THAT out with a bloody strong slap in the mouth! Bloody soft Shiela! And something else, Skip? Ashley Cole tried to do WHAT to you?? Hang on, mate - I'll just get me shot gun!

The Moores letter: the biggest anti-climax after a long wait since The Aspern Papers.

"...if they have a conscience or nobility" - Moores has had ages to draft this letter, and yet he comes up with stuff that barely makes sense. I would've thought he could have got someone literate to ghost it for him. Amateurish to the end.

Hear hear!

Oh great, in a rag that Murdoch now charges people for online access. Another smart decision, Davey!

Ha ha, I see what you did there. Unfortunately.

Well, he'd better grow up, then, the big girl.

Oive just got to get to me granma's to give her some medicine and cake, then a quick trip to yer man's wig shop for old time's sake, den oi'll be racing up dat Anfield Road, yes oi will indeed!