Mav

Not entirely sure how anyone but Johnson gets above a five

And damn fine shorts she wears too Got her now, SM?

One good reason for watching Kevin Bishop

You people have no idea You want to see a public information film

Whilst I do not think we are playing well credit to Spurs as they are not allowing us a minute on the ball

Here comes a sub Must have played for an hour *Checks watch* Oh yeah

...we playing today? *checks calendar* *Growls* ....fucking hate summer

To the motorcyclist that provided some constructive crit on my driving this morning by moving his hand up and down in a stroking fashion once he was a safe distance in front of me; allow me a right of reply. Firstly if you had used your eyes you would have seen a red car entering our carriageway from the right hand side. That was the car that had pulled out in front of me as I was driving along – although once it saw me it had second thoughts about coming into my lane and then stopped. By that point he was in the middle of the road. As I saw him exit the side road I thought he was going to keep on coming so I slowed down considerably. You wouldn't have seen this manoeuvre as you were nowhere to be seen when I did it. Once he braked for me (and I had for him) I appreciated he was now blocking the road and there was heavy traffic coming in the other direction. I thought it was probably easier on the basis that I had slowed down to avoid a collision to just come to a complete stop to allow the car out. I flashed him to indicate my intentions. I must have paused for a matter of about a minute tops. When I took my observations again before moving off I noted that your helmeted face was now about 2 cms from my back window. For reasons which will be evident I can only assume this was as a result of you trying to achieve MACH1 in your approach to this stretch of road. As I pulled off you decided that the 2cm was a safe stopping distance between the two of us. As soon as it was safe to do so I pulled in to let you pass (again reflecting my courteous use of the road) at which point you roared off up the road making said hand signal (it was on the basis of your speed that I was able to conclude as to where you had come from when I spotted you in the first place) If I had prevented you achieving take off speed by being courteous to other road users I apologise but I can assure you if you suddenly had to stop in the road because of me it is not because I was going too slow but rather you were going too fast. Also had I known you would take such displeasure at my road sense I would not have moved out of your way in the fucking first place, a manoeuvre you made particularly difficult with your 'look at me I can dart all over the road like Jesse Mach tribute’ I am sure your excellent riding skills will soon produce the appropriate reward. So I am clear, would you prefer grapes or flowers?

Cheers for that Appreciate it (Apparently I need to spread some rep around before giving it to you. Bloody Rep Fascists)

I have lost the disc to my camera and want to transfer my pictures to my PC. Any ideas what I need to do? I am not technologically minded

Ain't she a pretty one

Amazing SM analysis. And spot on

Karen Gillan Announced today as 11's new assistant

I give you - the new assistant

Almost I felt like the engraver on Cup Final Day. Although to be fair I'd already started on the B about half an hour ago.

Of the new meat in the Premier League who has got the mettle to stay there or more to the point - who hasn't?

I do it from work But like the second PC idea Have e mailed the practice manager. Cheers

I have for a number of years now attended the game with my mate (Hello SM), my sister, and my nephew. Once I was able to I have as a preference bought my tickets online. Double click, double click and bought. After 2005 I have had two other additions to the clan - my younger nephew and another mate. For those who struggle with the maths that makes six. All of whom have fancards linked to mine. Up until very recently that didn't cause me problems but now I'm only allowed to get four tickets online it has become a massive pain in the arse. Wait for ages to get on. Take forever to buy 4. Then log out. Wait for ages to re-login. Buy another 2. Normally in another part of the ground. So let's just recap - I still get the 6 tickets I want (so the tout argument goes out of the window) but you insist I have to jump through your fucking hoops twice like I have the time to waste and I now can't sit with my mates. Sorry for bringing this up now but when I tried to get tickets for Thursday I noticed that if I bought them online I could only get 4. Next year I won't fucking bother and will plant my arse on the couch. Rant over.

I thought they did forfeit that game Or are they in the final and no one told me Damn Mancs

If my auntie had bollocks she'd be my uncle Stevie and Nando started their 12th game in the league together today. I hope they start 38 next year.

We're debating whether or not we can win the league on 9th May. That is hugely positive In the run in we have done everything that has been asked of us - get three points and put them under pressure If we run out of games, we run out of games but I will be proud of what we have achieved this year. I also think this will give us huge confidence provided we can put ourselves in a strong position next year

Ashes series one was the poor mans LoM However series two has started well and I now like the Gene/Drake dynamic which just got on my tits in series one (notwithstanding I'm a big fan of Keeley Hawes). I think it has found its voice and they have also warmed Drake up so she isn't always doing that shouty thing she did in series one. And you've gotta love the Gene Genie

One of my favourite writers (Steven Moffat) came up with a great line to sum this issue up. He said 'Don't you wish you could be nostalgic at the time'

She was called Verucca You can't get excited about a girl named after a fungal foot infection

Let me help out those with tiny brains. It's SMG. No contest. I'm surpised this is even a debate. If I was looking for a warm up act then I'd go for Caufield. Although there is something about Trattenburg. Hannigan is a ginge with no tits. Carpenter - too plastic. Duskhu doesn't do it for me either.