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Manchester United 1 Liverpool 1 (Jan 15 2017)


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Report by
Dave Usher
 
 
 

I should really start by apologising to the team, because to my shame I gave them no shot of getting anything out of this game. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been so sure of us losing a game as I was prior to this one. It’s weird, I can’t fully explain it as it’s not as though I think United are anything other than bang average.

 

Nevertheless, I was convinced this was going to be a thoroughly miserable experience for us, but I sold the players short and I’m delighted to have been proved to be such a cowardly shithouse.

 

I wasn’t alone though as hardly anyone I know fancied us to get anything from the game. It seemed understandable beforehand, for numerous reasons. We’ve been wobbling a bit recently and the Southampton performance was very worrying. Mané was missing, there was that whole bullshit situation involving Matip and his uncertain eligibility, Coutinho wasn’t fit to start the game and to top it off Clyne was ruled out at the last minute meaning we had an 18 year old debutant at right back.

 

Throw in United’s upturn in results, Mourinho’s ability to ruin a game and stifle attack minded opponents, and the fact that this is traditionally the worst fixture in the entire calendar for us in terms of stress and misery, and the feeling of impending doom many of us had been feeling prior to kick seemed justified. Turns out we were just being a right bunch of fannies though.

 

Now that it’s all over, I feel a mixture of relief, encouragement, frustration and sheepishness. What exactly was it we were worried about? Just as it was when Van Gaal was manager, the only real threat to us was the alehouse ball to Fellaini. Ultimately that would cost us, but had we made more of the opportunities we had to expose them on the break then we could have afforded to give away that goal.

 

We probably should have won this game, although I do feel that a draw was probably a fair result and I don’t entirely agree with Klopp’s assessment that we were clearly the better team. I’m fine with him saying it, as it will annoy Mourinho and hopefully boost our own confidence levels, but I didn’t think we played particularly well although the commitment and will to win could not be faulted. If we had played well then we’d have won easily as this United team is in sixth place for a reason.

 

For example, had Origi done the job he was selected to do we’d have won this at a canter. We needed him to be the Origi who shone against Dortmund away last season. The pacy, direct, aggressive Origi who takes the fight to the opposition. Instead, we got a timid, careless, infuriating version of him.

 

He started off ok but quickly faded. We needed him to hold the ball up when he had his back to goal and we needed him to run at the United defence whenever he found himself isolated out wide with either of the centre backs. He turned Rojo once and it should have resulted in a goal, but neither he nor Lallana were clinical enough and the chance went begging. That was just about the only time I recall Origi taking the fight to them.

 

I lost count of the number of times he had the ball on the left touchline, faced only with the gormless Phil Jones and with acres of space to run into, only for him to play it safe. It reached the point midway through the second half where Klopp simply had to take him off because he was killing us. We couldn’t get out of our own half because he was repeatedly losing the ball.

 

From the moment he was replaced by Coutinho, we looked a different team. Prior to that I didn’t think we looked much of a threat at all, other than from set-pieces where Pogba’s laughable attempts at marking Lovren had us looking like we might score any time the ball was put in there. After Phil’s arrival though we immediately began carving them open and really should have won the game based on the chances created in the last 20 minutes or so.

 

Within seconds Coutinho had played in Firmino only for him to shoot straight at De Gea. Wijnaldum headed over with a decent chance from a Can cross, and then should have done better with another chance right at the death when he shot tamely at De Gea. Can’s pass to him wasn’t the best in fairness, but he should still have produced a better effort than that.

 

Prior to Coutinho’s introduction though the game was cagey, tense and lacking in quality. We led 1-0 not through our own good play but from a stupid mistake from the worst - and most expensive - player on the pitch. I absolutely despise Pogba. He’s everything I hate about modern footballers. The hype far exceeds his talent and he just seems like a complete bellend.

 

As much as I’ve ripped Flat Track Zlatan over the years, much of that is tongue in cheek and I do begrudgingly respect some of the things he can do. It’s not like that with Pogba though as I genuinely just can’t see what the fuss is about him. £90m? I honestly wouldn’t even want him on a free if it weren't for the knowledge that there's always some dickhead out there who will pay crazy money for him just to show that they "mean business".

 

He’s a midfield version of Balotelli, only without the charm and likability of the mad Italian. It seems that having stupid haircuts, scoring one or two spectacular long range goals a season (from roughly 300 attempts) and doing fuck all else is enough to make you a superstar these days and get you your very own emoji. Poor Djibril Cisse must be cursing his luck that he wasn’t born ten years later.

 

Not only was Pogba the worst player on the pitch, the truth is he was lucky to stay on it. He should have been yellow carded for the handball that gave us the penalty which Milner converted with his usual lack of fuss, and he should have been given another (or maybe even a straight red) for throwing Hendo to the floor by his neck from a United corner.

 

Just what the fuck was Michael Oliver looking at when that happened at the back post? He certainly wasn’t looking at the near post, because if he had been he’d have seen the clear shove in the back of Lallana that prevented him from clearing the ball. Conveniently though, he spotted the foul on that cunt Herrera right on the edge of the box.

 

Thankfully Mignolet made a great stop to keep out Ibrahimovic’s powerful low free-kick. Imagine how pissed off we’d be if they’d scored from that when Oliver failed to spot two blatant fouls on our players from the initial corner. Migs then made another good reflex save to deny Mkhitaryan soon after and he looked really confident and assured all afternoon in everything he did.

 

Oliver was fucking terrible though and the only thing he got right was the penalty. Even then he fucked up by not booking Pogba. He also failed to give Rooney a card for a nasty looking foul on Milner. In fairness to weetabix head it wasn’t intentional, but it’s still a booking as he didn’t get the ball and left his studs in on Milner’s ankle. What makes that even more ridiculous is that Lovren was booked for a great tackle early on in which his foot didn’t leave the floor and he won the ball cleanly. That’s one of the worst bookings you’ll see all season.

 

He’s a fucking clown that Oliver. Keith Hackett said today that he’s in the same class as Clattenberg. Fuck right off with that shit. Clatts should sue him for that slanderous comparison. The booking count was 3-1 against us, which was fucking ridiculous. Oliver booked Firmino for shoving Herrera, but fucking hell, what’s he supposed to do in that situation? That snide little gobshite wouldn’t let go of his shirt. Firmino wanted to get him off so he could get on with the game, so he shoved him in the chest and the odious cheating little twat then clutched his face to try and get our man sent off. If Oliver had any balls, he’s have sent Herrera off for simulation. It’s morally wrong that when you look at that incident, Firmino ended up with the same punishment as Herrera.

 

Klopp and Mourinho got into it at that point too. Buvac was on the scene as well, and it’s just a shame it didn’t go off properly as how great would it have been to see Klopp webbing Mourinho everywhere while Buvac slapped the piss out of that Rui Faria jabroni. Herrera is the biggest snide in the league, he was horrible under Van Gaal but you know he’ll be cranking it up further with that turd as his manager. If I had a free dig at any player in the league, I’m probably using it on him. I mean who’s more punchable than him? I’m open to suggestions but I think you’ll be struggling.

 

As bad as Oliver was though, his linesman was even worse. I could just about accept him not spotting that Valencia was a yard offside in the build up to their equaliser if he’d have at least been in the right position. It’s not easy sometimes with close decisions and the benefit of the doubt is supposed to go to the attacker (not that it ever does, unless the attacker is wearing a United shirt - that’s eight offside goals this season now apparently), but it’s completely unacceptable that he’s four yards ahead of the play and in no position whatsoever to be able to judge it. How can you be that badly out of position? Is he the Alberto Moreno of linesmen?

 

I’m annoyed over the goal but not over the result itself. United had three great chances in the first half so we can’t complain too much. Mignolet saved two of those chances while Pogba scuffed the other one wide. Of course it’s frustrating to have led for so long and not been able to see it through, but the draw was probably fair and besides, I’d have snatched your hand off for that before kick off.

 

A win would have been better, obviously, but a draw is a decent enough result for several reasons. First and foremost, it keeps United at arms length. That’s huge, because if they’d gotten to within two points of us we wouldn’t be looking up at Chelsea anymore, we’d be looking over our shoulders towards them creepy bastards. That was my big fear going into this game, hence the relief afterwards. I’m probably overstating it, but it felt like our season was on the line this weekend. A defeat could have been catastrophic, especially given our patchy form of late and the way Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal are just churning out wins and scoring freely.

 

Avoiding defeat in this game is good for morale and also means we’ve got another one of our most difficult fixtures out of the way. We may have fallen two further points behind Chelsea this weekend and also given up second spot to Spurs, but in big picture terms it’s ok. We’ve got Swansea at home next week and then Chelsea come to Anfield. Win both of those and we’re only four points back with Mané to return in February. That’s the ideal scenario, but if we’re to win those games we need to sharpen up in front of goal. That might sound strange considering we’re the top scorers, but we’ve not looked sharp in attack for weeks now.

 

It’s encouraging that ten of our 17 remaining games are at home and we’ve played all of the top seven away except City, and let’s be honest, there’s nothing to fear about playing them right now, especially if we’re close to full strength. That’s the thing, if we can get our best eleven on the pitch more often than not then we’ll probably go very close. We’re yet to lose a game when Matip plays for example, so we need him back ASAP, even though Klavan has filled in adequately.

 

As I said, we’ve not really played near our best level for a couple of months now but we’re just about hanging in there. We haven’t had Coutinho, Mané, Firmino and Lallana on the pitch together for what feels like an eternity, but if we can just get through the next few weeks until Mané comes back and still be in touching distance then we can hopefully come on strong in the run in.

 

Star man is Lovren, just ahead of Mignolet. To play the way he did despite being on a knife edge after that shocking yellow card was most impressive. Trent Alexander-Arnold deserves a lot of praise too. I thought he was alright, not great, but decent enough considering the trying circumstances. It’s not an ideal time to make your full debut but after a difficult start he settled down and with the exception of one bad mistake that almost proved costly, he had an impressive second half.

 

Klopp showed great faith in him as the easy thing to do would have been to move Milner to right back and bring Moreno in. That’s what I’d have done, although Klopp’s explanation for his decision afterwards (not wanting to disrupt a further two positions having already changed to a midfield diamond) made perfect sense. I’m a big fan of the diamond too, we should see that more often.

 

Honourable mention to Hendo as well, who played through the pain and did a great job for us. We’re a much better side with him in it and he’s become vitally important this season.

 

Team: Mignolet; Alexander-Arnold, Lovren, Klavan, Milner; Henderson, Can, Wijnaldum, Lallana; Firmino, Origi (Coutinho):


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Wonder what formation Herr Klopp will start with on Saturday. Will he go back to his favourite 4 3 3 or stick to the 4 3 1 2 diamond he played on Sunday.

 

Thought the diamond suited us on Sunday especially Firmino and Can who have been struggling of late and got them back to the levels you expect from them.

 

Origi struggled a bit in the first 15 mins of the 2nd half where we couldn't get out of our half and was rightly substituted.

 

 

Coutinho came on and we looked comfortable again. Thought Lallana had a better game in the hole than he does when he is pushed more forward.

 

Also having Henderson back helped us and Gini had his usual 6/10 game for us.Should be scoring more goals for us though (pity ).

 

Defence and Ming did very well having 2 key players out and an 18 year old making his debut at OT.

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Great report that,absolutely spot on,I was shitting myself before this one,looks like kloppo had the boys fired up all week after that shit display at Southampton.thought firmino deserved a mention,he worked his fuck'n bollocks off,if only Sturridge could see that if he worked that hard he'd be a fuck'n world beater

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Re: the free dig thing, I was only including players who are over here now, so Evra and Nasri don't qualify. Fabregas was a good shout but I'm not taking him over Herrera.

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Re: the free dig thing, I was only including players who are over here now, so Evra and Nasri don't qualify. Fabregas was a good shout but I'm not taking him over Herrera.

Maybe I don’t have the  negging rights, I’ve never tried, and maybe you as owner are unneggable.

 

But everyone who tries to limit abuse pointed at that slimy cunt who calls himself Evra should be severely negged.

 

A self-neg being  appropriate?

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Look, if he comes back to join Palace as it being rumoured, then all bets are off and it's Evra all day. If we're talking PL only though, right now Herrera is out on his own.

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