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Terrace Talk - The Steve Kelly Column

Still in everything. What did Frank Zappa sing; the torture never stops, wasn’t it? At least we’ll die with smiles on our faces. Putin or heart attack, whichever comes first. Inter were good, it would be mad to deny it, but the usual recalibration of who was dead lucky and who deserved what seems to happen to the Reds on a weekly basis now.


It must also include a (Dr Evil quotes) watershed moment, such as the Sanchez red card. Here was someone who, from the first whistle, wanted to get himself sent off. Impartial observers like (checks notes) Arsene Wenger and Thierry Henry were outraged. Apparently, a commentator said it was Fabinho’s fault for getting there too early! I seem to be saying “whatever” an awful lot these days.


We faced the usual dilemma when a first leg away from home has gone so well. Stick or twist. It’s not like we couldn’t have scored a few more goals, but there was a nervous fumbling air to the whole evening. We were just as dull and unnerving when we beat Porto 5-0 that time, only that was genuinely over.


Maybe Roma in the treble year is a better comparison, especially with the league cup already snaffled and the FA Cup still possible. But I’m getting ahead of myself, and jinxing it too, probably. It’s getting harder and harder to keep giddiness at bay, We hit the woodwork three times, and by the end we were somehow the lucky ones. You must be double-jointed to assume the positions some football pundits get themselves into.


Liverpool aren’t judged by normal standards. That’s par for the course, or whatever cliché helps whenever you’re suppressing anger at how snide others are. Was tiredness creeping in? Was it the inevitable disjointed result of regular rotation? If somehow there were a system in place where we only played once a week, Liverpool would wipe the floor with everyone. Everyone.


As it is, success and ambition increase and the burdens also. Probably just as well, since the biggest clubs walk away with everything anyway. It’s taken a war for people to cotton onto Abramovich, what it’ll take for them to notice City I’m too frightened to guess. Armageddon’s flames, most likely.


Mo’s agent is at it again. Social media is not an arena for nuance, obviously, but if he starts on Klopp, he’s gonna wish he hadn’t. If it’s a sign that Salah simply doesn’t care any more, it’s bad obviously. The manager is number one here. Apart from the Woy months, it’s never been any different post-Shankly. Of course, he might not be staying either and future guarantees may be what Mo’s really after, but it’s usually all about the money, stupid.


Covid rumours, early kick-off, the general lethargy against Inter; all pointed to a possible Brighton upset, and if they’d made more of their decent start who knows? Then we began talking about referees and VAR. Again. Diaz has been sensational, ample proof that if Salah does leave, we won’t need to worry unduly with this manager. Heroes come, heroes go, other heroes come seems to be the enviable rut we’re in.


What the hell was Mike Dean doing here anyway? I vaguely understand his Anfield appearances, since the Premier League is so utterly impoverished it needs to clamp down on referees’ petrol expenses. It would seem far simpler to stick with old ways and make the officials’ place of birth equidistant from the opponents.


Maybe the authorities believe supporters have grown up and no longer think referees are conspiring to harm their team and their team only. That’s a tad presumptuous, isn’t it? Especially when you see what doesn’t count as even a yellow card in Mike Dean’s eyes. Complain about VAR too, but it shouldn’t have needed that. Cynics knew we were getting a goal or a card – not both. No harm done, anyway, to Luis or our chances of victory.


Not that we didn’t try to keep it interesting at times. It’s an awful paradox, how the team with most league goals seems to be one of the least clinical. We are fabulously creative, no doubt about it, but it would be nice not to worry so much during such one-sided encounters. Wellbeck’s effort came to nought but can be the kind of accident that scuppers an entire season.


Nice touch by Brighton to give Lallana ten seconds of the game to give us a wave and then scoot off again. Their own fans must be a bit peeved, surely? Couldn’t he just do that from the touchline?


PSG’s annual Champions League collapse suggests their chequebook may be coming out again, and that may be a way out of this whole Salah conundrum. There’s only Klopp I’d trust to replace the seemingly irreplaceable. When you think about Torres and Suarez, we’ve got more out of him than we normally do.


I idly fantasise about the Reds being so good nobody would want to leave, but the longer this lingers on you fear it’s the usual pipedream. Team spirit is in the clouds, Klopp is exceptional. Those must remain in place. When Jurgen says everything’s fine, even a shambolic old cynic like moi can get on board with it.


Steve Kelly


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Thanks Steve, enjoyed that. 100% bang on about the red card in the inter game especially the bit about it being Fabs fault! Notice how Real Madrid's 1st goal and the foul on the keeper was just simply ignored the following night. Fuck'em all we are coming up the hill.

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15 hours ago, tlw content said:

It’s taken a war for people to cotton onto Abramovich, what it’ll take for them to notice City I’m too frightened to guess. Armageddon’s flames, most likely.

Abramovich has always been a total cunt. In every single way. Most of us have always known it. The same goes for all the oligarchs. The problem isn't Chelsea, or City. Nor is it Newcastle or (whisper it) Everton. The problem is letting criminals, tyrants and despots own football clubs and generally launder their ill-gotten gains. In other words, the blame lies firmly at the feet of the Premier League and FIFA. Qatar World Cup my arse.

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Great read again, looking forward to being engulfed in Armageddon’s flames and seeing fat twat Martin Samuel on the barbecue. Sad thing is you wouldn’t be surprised if Chelsea are sold to another ‘independent’ group from the House of Saud such is the hypocrisy in today’s world.

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