Baltar

Our defending is awful but we they don't have much protection to be fair. And now Kolo is on! We're saved.

Got away with one there, Swansea pressing us very well.

Fuck off ref

We're going to lose 6-5

Well we're winning which is great but need to plug the hole in midfield. Bring on Allen, take of Coutinho.

We need to score at least 5 goals here to win because I can easily see Swansea getting another 2. But then I can see us scoring 5 too. Fucking mad game.

Can we bring on a midfielder that will actually mark Shelvey? He's getting so much space, I don't understand why he's not getting closed down. Where's Lucas when you need him?

Oh fuck off. Our defending is simply shit.

Fuck sake. Quality goal from Shelvey. Top lad.

Yesssss!!! Absolutely brilliant!

He's not been in the goals since Sturridge has come back into the team.

Got a bit sloppy since the goal. Come on lads, let's start attacking and get that second goal.

Got to win this after the results of the other teams today. And I think we will. If we repeat our home performances vs Everton and Arsenal we will batter them.

Um, in a word, no. We're improving and will give a lot of teams plenty to think about but let's not kid ourselves. With our defending, both Barca and Bayern would take us to the cleaners.

He was for a while, was phenomenal at times.

Was a class show. Although I was still in school during the first few series so maybe I found it funnier than it actually was back then.

He's a good back up when the regular centre-halves are out. We've overplayed him this season due to injuries. He was great when used sparingly.

I thought we played well enough at a ground where we seldom do well, so our form is still good. Not exactly devastated, the FA Cup would be nice to win but not essential. Getting into the top 4 is the main priority and I'd happily sacrifice the domestic cups if it meant qualifying for the CL.

Arsenal will be pumped up for this one, and we are focussing on the league so I expect a tough game and probably a defeat. Emirates is always a tough place to visit anyway so not expecting a result here.

The Mellor goal still gives me chills. Fucking unbelievable goal that was.

Unbelievable waste of money. Wayne Rooney is expected to sign a new five-and-a-half-year contract with Manchester United this week that will increase his wages to about £300,000 per week. The 28-year-old England striker is close to committing his future to the Old Trafford club until June 2019, with an outline agreement having been reached between club and player. Rooney joined United from Everton in August 2004. His current deal runs until summer 2015 and is worth £250,000 a week. The new deal would signal a turnaround in the forward's future at Old Trafford after former United manager Sir Alex Ferguson claimed thatRooney had asked for a transfer towards the end of last season - a claim the player denied. He was linked with a move to Chelsea last summer and the Blues hadmore than one bid for the player rejected, as new boss David Moyes insisted he wanted to keep his former Everton charge at Old Trafford. If he does commit to United, Rooney would face the prospect of missing out on Champions League football next season, with United currently seventh in the Premier league and 11 points behind the final qualification place. Rooney, who returned to first-team action at the end of January after nearly a month out with an injury, has made 28 club appearances this season and scored 11 goals. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/26216913

Joseph Minala: Lazio respond to false age claims of teenager Lazio have threatened legal action against those who have questioned the legitimacy of the age of their 17-year-old Cameroonian player Joseph Minala. The Italian side stated that his birth certificate is "absolutely legitimate". Lazio added: "We reserve the right to take action against those responsible for the protection of the good name of the company and the footballer." The midfielder also issued a statement via the club's website denying he told an African website he was 41. He said: "I have read the alleged statements posted on the website senego.net in which it says I confessed my real age which was different to what was stated in my [official] documents. "They are false statements that have been attributed to me by people who do not know." Minala joined the Rome club last summer and recently played for them in the Viareggio Cup youth tournament. Italian journalist Max Evangelista, who reports on Lazio's youth team, said any suggestions the player was 41 were "unbelievable". He said Minala had scored five goals and made six assists this season for Lazio's youth team, who are the holders of the national title. "He is a very reactive player. You could never say he is 41," he told BBC World Service." When you are surrounded by players running like devils around you, in my opinion it is very tough to be 41. He runs, he is fast. It is unbelievable news, that is why Lazio felt the need to deny it. "He was in an orphanage for a couple of years in Cameroon, then he had to face the situation here by himself. It is a controversial story because the face of the player is not that of a 17-year-old guy. "On his face there is sign of his previous life, which was not a happy life. That is it. Period. There is nothing else that makes you think he is 41. "He is a kid with the head of a kid. He only wants to play football as he did on the road years ago barefoot. That is the only thing he is focused on and being a talent because he is a talent."

Nope. It's Roger Milla's grandad.