Andy M

Bingo! He's so transparent it's a joke. You can tell that the only thing that comes naturally to him is being thick, and credit to the guy, he does that with aplomb. Rodney Trotter & Tony Adams. Ever seen them in the same place? :whistle:

Like it! Maybe 'wife beater -> alcoholic' is necessarily more true than 'alcoholic -> wife beater'.

I'm massively surprised by this too. Millwall is a truly horrid club IMO. Then again, sometimes you find flowers bloom best when surrounded by shit.

I'm not sure I'd agree with that. I know quite a few alcoholics (most of whom are in the legal profession O_o ) but know of not one who is a wife beater. Those I know can get quite nasty, but I've never known of them being physical with a woman. 'Tragic' sums up Best IMO.

His alcoholism can of course be forgiven, but the wife beating?! His impending passing is sad, but he's no angel, and not somebody I shall particularly miss. I feel it for his family, in particular his father. Seeing your child die must be hell on earth :no

Defenders can only play with confidence if they're confident in the 'keeper behind them. Personally I feel Reina is a little dodgy, and not worth the amount we paid, but 12 in 16 is bloody good. Long may it continue...

It's the same with Sly, "lets cut to Thommo, HAS CROUCH SCORED YET?!!". Thommo: "Liverpool have just had a chance Jeff - " " - WAS it CROUCH, Thommo, has he FINALLY scored?!!" "no Jeff, it was..." etc etc.

Owen vs The Argies in '98. Seeing one of 'ours', so young, tearing apart one of the best defences in the world was as shocking as it was pleasing. My most pleasing of recent times was Gerrard's vs Olympiacos.

Newcastle: Mike, come to us, we'll increase your wages, and give you first team football week-in week-out up aside one of the nations greatest ever strikers, giving you the best stage we possibly can to push for your place in The World Cup. We'll also give you a get-out clause in 12 months time just in case you're not entirely happy. Liverpool: Mike, we can't afford you right now. There's a chance you may have to wait until next summer for us to sign you and you've got to tell your current employers that you'll only sign for us. If you do sign we can't guarantee you'll make the team, and even if you do it's unlikely we'll play the tactics your style is best suited. Oh, and you'll be on reduced wages. :dunno:

If only Scott Parker was a little taller I reckon he could do us a cracking job. I still prefer him to King though who looked a duck out of water :no

Riquelme or Kaka? As good as Riquelme was last night, Kaka against us in the CL Final was just another level.

Perhaps a '?' in the topic title would have been less misleading...(?)

If you keep being this polite I shall provide yet more... :party: :tease:

Only one is Newcastle related (and I may have altered it slightly ;)), but who gives one? A joke's a joke... Four people in the carriage of a train - an scouser, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a geordie. It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the geordie is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek. The old lady thinks "I bet that geordie fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him" The pretty young blonde thinks "I bet the geordie tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him" The geordie thinks "I bet that scouser fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me" The scouser thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that geordie t**t again" --- A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soo! the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat bitch in the kitchen." --- A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU." "There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking." --- What’s the difference between a magician’s wand and a policeman’s truncheon? A magician’s wand is used for cunning stunts and the………… --- Two prostitutes are talking to each other on a street corner and a police car goes by sirens blazing. One says to the other "You ever been caught by the fuzz?" the other one replies "Nah, but I have been swung about by the tits"

A long haired Geordie walks into the hairdressers and asks "Any chance of a perm?" The barber thinks for a minute then says "I wandered lonely as a cloud............" Thank you folks, I'll be here all night...

After their 3-0 West Brom win, the said friend was babbling on about how they were now a force to be reckoned with. Players back from injury, no more excuses, watch out Chelsea/Arsenal/Man Utd etc. I asked, "well come on, what have Newcastle ever won?" His reply, with not a hint of irony: "our last match!" :D :dunno: :D I blame myself. I should have known a NUFC supporter wouldn't have been on the same wave-length.

I appear to be going a bit mental as well. My car stereo for instance. When controlling the volume level, odd numbers (1, 3, 7, 9 etc) are a no no - even numbers are where it's at. However, you may have noticed that I missed out the number 5 from my 'odd' list. That's because 5 is ok. In fact, it's better than ok - it's preferred to the even number which surround it. For example, 25 is better than 24 and/or 26. If I have a new person in my car and they are altering the volume I have to make sure that the chosen level fits within my 'rules'. If it doesn't then I change it, quickly. If they continue to alter the volume, and don't land it on my preferred numbers then they get a verbal bashing. Why do I do this? God knows! But I can't help myself anymore. Matron?!! Where's my medicine?!

I have a good mate who is a big Geordie supporter. Since they signed Owen he's been unbearable; "biggest sleeping giant", "biggest 'true' supporter base in the country" etc. I used to quite like Newcastle, even when they were mounting a serious challenge to us. Given's a cracking 'keeper, Shearer is one of the true greats, and I liked the honesty of good old Bobby. But now he's just getting on my tits (he even claimed that Newcastle was a bigger port than Liverpool) and I'm beginning to really dislike all things NUFC. In fact, looking back I see them as a bit of a laughing stock with their dodgy chairman, their Rooney bid, involvement with Goal! etc. Their only real 'Goal!' was capturing Owen, but we all know that it will turn out to be the most expensive loan signing in footballs history. So, can any of you lot think of any good muck to throw back The Annoying Geordie? About the city or the football club... Oh yeah, and he also reckons we got The Capital of Culture rather than them "because the judges wanted to bring Liverpool up to the standard of Newcastle". Fuck off! :D

I'd prefer to see them a being uneducated in the ways of LFC. To generalise that they're all "fucking knobead(s)" is a little unfair IMO.

If it offends you so much, why don't you try to ensure that you sit in The Kop? :dunno: There, I imagine you'll be able to sing to your hearts content without having to resort to calling fellow LFC fans "fucking knobeads" :no

I'd go for the same line up as: Reina Finnan-Carra-Hyypiä-Riise Gerrard-Sissoko-Alonso-García Cissé-Morientes Except, I'd change Morientes for Kewell. Morientes played well yesterday, but has picked up a knock. Kewell plays well with Cissé in front of him and I think could provide a surprise for Villa.

What concerns me is that in total he's had half a good season - with Southampton last season. So is it simply poor form, or true to form? He never made it at Spurs, was crap at Villa (then again, even Zidane would find it hard to play for Taylor) and initially found it hard to get in the team at Southampton. I'll support him as a Liverpool player, but I'm not totally convinced. And at £6.5m+ (from a relegated team) I feel questions do need to be asked. If he cost <£3m (what I personally feel to be his true worth) I doubt he'd be getting half the flack he's currently receiving. What's worse is that it appears that we may have missed out on Owen due to the amount we paid for Crouch, hence people wishing to make comparisons. Crouch is no Owen. Sadly for us, the better player is currently playing in the North East.