Michael Howard

1. Nitromors with wire wool really does lift the paint residue nicely out of the grain on a wooden bannister. 2. But it also melts rubber gloves and stings like hell if you have a small cut on your hand. 3. Christenings in a Catholic church are much more relaxed and informal than I thought - and they have good heaters as well. 4. Me and all my friends have become baby/kid bores - but its kinda nice. 5. A pampers pull up nappy can weigh a ton if you forget (don't) change it for 5 hours - we did check for no 2s - we're not that cruel. 6. There really must be more to life than watching the X Factor on a Saturday night? 7. Chico is growing on me - "Chico Time" has got to be a good outside bet for Xmas no 1. 8. Life doesn't get much better than taking your 17 month old son out for his first walk in his new wellies kicking leaves (see 4 above) - especially while the wife has offered to hoover, dust and mop throughout as long as you stay out for at least an hour- RESULT! 9. Colleen (Pie Boy's bird) really is quite fit isn't she ? - see front of Sunday Star 10. Mashed potato really is the ultimate comfort winter food.

1. Nitromors with wire wool really does lift the paint residue nicely out of the grain on a wooden bannister. 2. But it also melts rubber gloves and stings like hell if you have a small cut on your hand. 3. Christenings in a Catholic church are much more relaxed and informal than I thought - and they have good heaters as well. 4. Me and all my friends have become baby/kid bores - but its kinda nice. 5. A pampers pull up nappy can weigh a ton if you forget (don't) change it for 5 hours - we did check for no 2s - we're not that cruel. 6. There really must be more to life than watching the X Factor on a Saturday night? 7. Chico is growing on me - "Chico Time" has got to be a good outside bet for Xmas no 1. 8. Life doesn't get much better than taking your 17 month old son out for his first walk in his new wellies kicking leaves (see 4 above) - especially while the wife has offered to hoover, dust and mop throughout as long as you stay out for at least an hour- RESULT! 9. Colleen (Pie Boy's bird) really is quite fit isn't she ? - see front of Sunday Star 10. Mashed potato really is the ultimate comfort winter food.

1. Nitromors with wire wool really does lift the paint residue nicely out of the grain on a wooden bannister. 2. But it also melts rubber gloves and stings like hell if you have a small cut on your hand. 3. Christenings in a Catholic church are much more relaxed and informal than I thought - and they have good heaters as well. 4. Me and all my friends have become baby/kid bores - but its kinda nice. 5. A pampers pull up nappy can weigh a ton if you forget (don't) change it for 5 hours - we did check for no 2s - we're not that cruel. 6. There really must be more to life than watching the X Factor on a Saturday night? 7. Chico is growing on me - "Chico Time" has got to be a good outside bet for Xmas no 1. 8. Life doesn't get much better than taking your 17 month old son out for his first walk in his new wellies kicking leaves (see 4 above) - especially while the wife has offered to hoover, dust and mop throughout as long as you stay out for at least an hour- RESULT! 9. Colleen (Pie Boy's bird) really is quite fit isn't she ? - see front of Sunday Star 10. Mashed potato really is the ultimate comfort winter food.

......... at the school gate

......... at the school gate

......... at the school gate

She's 16 in April. I can wait. I'm a patient guy. I think you've got form for this haven't you Mav ?! :tease:

She's 16 in April. I can wait. I'm a patient guy. I think you've got form for this haven't you Mav ?! :tease:

She's 16 in April. I can wait. I'm a patient guy. I think you've got form for this haven't you Mav ?! :tease:

Its one thing to pretend you're crap at ironing so that she does it . . but when it comes to bringing up your kids there is no excuse for not getting your hands dirty and being fully invloved in all aspects of their life - even the shitty bits.(Agree with Paul though that doesn't mean you dig it or aren't averse to avoiding one you know is going to be a shocker - or volunteering when you know its just a little rabbit dropping!). Until you have changed nappies over a prolonged period of time you don't realise what a fascinating evolution your kids shit goes through. From green tar to whole grain mustard to ordinary dijon mustard to proper shit. The inoffensive milky stuff is no problem - its once they start doing baby grown up poos that it becomes a real test of bravery. The morning after fish pie or chilli are the ones when I would advise busying yourself with other manly DIY tasks so as to get out of it though. And any new Dads - save your money if you are thinking of buying a "nappie wrapper" - total waste of money - you just end up with an overpriced plastic bin full of shit and a stinking room. I've seen some sh#t threads on here but this one . . . . . . . .

Hamper of Fat. Donated by Van De Burghs / Lever Bros at some raffle - it was hamper of assorted fats, oils and margerines.

Just finalising Emlyn's Secret Santa dream soundtrack Evergreen - Will Young Conference speech 2005 - Anthony Lynton Blair YMCA - Village People The Ladies not for turning speech - Mrs T Anything by Erasure

Could be either technically. Chivalry is merely good manners - in the ultimate hope of getting their knickers off. and as for polls - damn complicated - just done my first! - can't get the nice bar chart to appear automatically though on Christmas Lights. THE FAQ tells you what you do.

So is anyone owning up to living in one of those grotto houses that can be seen from outer space and have an inflatable Santa strapped to their chimney? Just read on the BBC News website about how a street in Berkshire are having a whip round to pay their neighbour not to do it again this year! For me a few lights are okay - and I may even allow a "Santa please stop here" sign - its for the kiddies after all . . . . innit

Considerably more attractive than Ricky Gervais sticking his finger up your arse to tickle your prostrate. squsih or no squish. When her one trick pony pop career fizzles there's a definite career in soft porn /food advertising. I can see her now licking some whipped cream off a piece of M&S seasonal fruit.

Blair didn't get his vote becuase of his own vanity and arrogance. There was a widespread consensus that a change was needed but 90 days was felt to be too long. Charles Clarke was happy to compromise and said so in the days leading up to it. But as he has done so many times before on crucuial votes Tony refuses any compromise as if it was 90 days or a vote for Osama. He sees everyhing in black and white with no shades of gray. His arrogance is breathtaking. He does his "back me or sack me - looks guys trust me on this one I'm Tony" that has seen him through many a sticky patch in the past. He has failed to realise that he no longer gets the benefit of the doubt because he mislead us and took us to war on a false premise. I don't see how you can criticise his political opponents be they Tory or his own backbenchers for refusing to fall in line with his 90 day diktat. Important issues that affect the security of the nation and fundamental principles of our way of life need to be built on strong foundations of widespread consensus - not batterred through on a 3 line whip. There was a serious debtate to be had but Tony refused to budge.

Sorry just been out at the health food shop getting some nut cutlets in for tea. Wooly jumper? - check. Beard? - check. Sandals? - check. Winning hearts and minds is so woolly and vague it makes me puke. Prevention is better than cure. What makes ordinary british asian lads decide that they need to blow up trains to advance their political message? Wanting to understand and try to address that so it never happens again is not woolly and vague. We were attcked from within - not by towel headed invaders from afar. Rambo ain't go to save us - whether he is fighting in the streets of Bagdad or Leeds. What about the people that the security services KNOW are involved in terrorism, but can't prove it (and there can be many reasons why this would happen)? Do nothing? The Home Sec can deport foreign nationals not conducive to the public good - "sling yer hook" etc etc. The government introduced "Control Orders" allowing people who were believed to be a threat but against whom formal charges could not be charged to be effectively placed under total house arrest and banned from any form of communication with anyone by phone, email etc. They appear before a security service approved judge and are represented by a security service approved barrister who is not allowed to tell them the evidence against them. (The earlier version where they were held in prison without charge was deemed incompatible with the European Convention on Human Rights - which interestingly Tony Balir opted to incorporate into domestic law). It has been proposed that we allow illegal phone tap evidence to be admissible but the security services are against it as it compromises their methods. These are major draconian steps already in place. To pretend its 90 days or the killing fields on the underground is tabloid crap - we expect more from our PM. What about where intervention is necessary in other country's affairs to protect either it's own downtrodden people or to protect our country? Iraq has recruited more potential terrorists than anything else and is more of a problem for the world now than it was when a sidelined, impoversished and marginalised Saddam was there. and we certainly did not go in to help down trodden people.

"And don't fucking talk to me about winning hearts and minds. Fuck their hearts and minds and let's get zero tolerance on these fuckwits. There'll always be religious extremists. You can't win them over." Israel is the ultimate take no shit and get tough with fuckin terrorists country and look how well they have dealt with the problem. No matter how many terrorists they lock up (with or without trial) or kill there are still more of the little buggers in the pipeline. I wonder why? Not a great model for us to follow.

sorry - now read the original Secret Santa thread that lead to the stickies and noted the numerous refs to how it was only being done in an un-gay way. my mistake. anyone got any manly ribbon to wrap this CD? . . . . . . . .. tumbleweed

blokes buying other blokes thoughtful pressies that they have made and wrapped themselves. definitely a bit gay that - moisturised or not.

The police said it can take them 90 days to analyse computers, translate documents etc etc which is all part of building the case against someone. Charging someone does not prevent the police continuing to gather and assimilate evidence that forms part of the later case against them - but if there is not sufficient evidence to charge them with something - after a month in custody - reasonble grounds to believe is all that is required - then no i don't think people should be held for another 2 months - even with reviews every 7 days. It is just too long. MPs voted for 28 days detention which is longer than any other European country and double what we already had. His own Home Secretary beleived the issue should be compromosed at less than 90 days. Its a judgement issue and Tony's holier than though - I am right and you're either with us or you're with the bombers approach is insulting and offensive. He makes everything into his crusade as if he is the messiah. He failed to make his case and refused any compromise. He is not the Messiah. He is an arrogant prick who has lost it (this is Maggie's last year all over again). We were not attacked by foreign fighters invading our country. None of the London bombers were even on the police or securty service's bloody radar. This isn't a battle you can win by bombing Iraq nor by making us into a police state. There is a battle for hearts and minds amongst the next generation of potential terrorists unless we win that then the future is very very scary. Its about getting the balance right between extra police powers and not fuelling the perceived injustice, alienation and sene of persecution which lead to ordinary british born and bred muslim lads deciding that what they needed to do was strap a bloody bomb to their back and kill 50 people.

its now "Chico time" apparently - for anyone watching the X factor on a saturday night. if you are not familiar with his work - lucky you - but think dancing kebab shop owner with a six pack with extra oil - and of course the laaaaayyyddddies love him. time for a sharp exit . . . .

"Don't cancel the football bloke" ! - you've got me irked just thinking about him!! I had fogotten how much he irked me till you posted that - its "Picture Loans" actually i think (why the fuck do i remember shit like that?) - what an annoying twat he is - you're in massive debt man - get real - don't laugh and sign up to "one easy payment" at 13.9%APR over 25 years you complete tosspot. go and see a fuckin debt counsellor and get grip. you arse. feel better now. still irked but back to normal irked levels.

My best man was a teacher and used something which worked really well. Gist was: Well now (bride) - there are times in any good marriage when there will be stresses and strains and arguments and you will wonder "why on earth did i marry this person?" so i've prepared a little list for you of groom's good points and here they are - i've written them down for you to keep and i'll give it to you afterwards. here we go then: he's intelligent he's kind and generous he's charming has a great sense of humour everyone who meets him says he is so charismatic he is brave and strong but he is also compassionate and forgiving - having endured twenty long years imprisoned on Robben Island . . . . . . . oh sorry that's a school assembly i'm doing on Nelson Mandela. Here is the real ist. he cooks he cleans and he doesn't need batteries.

I try to bring awareness of serious men's health issues to the readers of the GF and what do I get? - smart arse comments about taking it up the poo pipe (which I think is the preferred name for it on here). i'm back off to post on Boris Johnson's blog. ps it was necessary for him to also fondle my bollocks at the same time - he was checking for testicular cancer - actually. at least thats what he told me :eek: