gkmacca

Funny how 'iteration' became a thing. In't it fancy, eh?

I have the sound down. That's the only way, even though it wrecks the sense of atmosphere. Carra screeches into his mic as if he believes he has to be heard without recourse to amplification. Neville is so blatantly biased it's beyond tiresome. And my pet hate, the use of replays - do we REALLY need two or even three replays of run-of-the-mill headers way over the bar, or scuffed shots to the keeper? It's SO tiresome, and you have to endure them while wondering what the hell is going on with the action. I don't get why it's not more commonly criticised. As for Keane, his absurd delusion that he occupies the moral high ground, when he was kicked out of his club for lack of respect, and kicked out of his country for the same thing, and kicked out of several clubs for being a shite manager, is mind-blowing. He's laughable, and only idiots would be intimidated by his pantomime schtick.

It was set up pretty much perfectly for them - all expectations on a thumping, so any kind of draw, however negative, was fine for them. We started well. If anything, the players, like the crowd, were too hyper. No thought, no cool decisions. It's troubling that Diaz is way off his best - he can run past players, he can move into the box, he can shoot - none of that has been evident since before he was injured. Nunez is really troubling: even keeping onside is a problem. And as for the artiste with the short socks - Trent needs to wake the hell up and play the sensible ball when nothing else is on.

It was always on the cards, given the expectations, that we’d be too impetuous. Diaz dives me crazy - he”s a fast player, RUN past people! The players need to wipe their minds clear and just focus on the team facing them - they’re way better so long as they calm down and be clinical.

Don't forget to boil five rabbit tails, throw dust out to the gods and summon the benign spirits with a mixture of bergamot and basil. Then, god willing, our powerless mortal players might be impelled to victory, or the 21st century will have arrived, one or the other.

The stronger they get, the less that happens. Unless you play for Newcastle, Everton or Crystal Palace, when it becomes a way of life. No one's mentioned acne, yet, I'm quite surprised, while people are at it, they haven't moaned about that, as well.

The main thing I dread when we field sides like that is the inevitable 'definitive' judgements that will follow. We've got some very promising kids, but they're not yet strong enough or experienced enough to link together in an unfamiliar line-up, against very powerful and experienced senior players, and shine. That's the norm, not the once-in-a-generation figure who gets a chance, in a fairly settled team, and has an instant impact. But that character seems so embedded in some people's minds that if they see anything less it's the thumbs down and the execution called. Those fans need to grow the feck up even faster than their targets do. Look at what happens when under 21 teams play lower division senior teams - they almost always get brushed aside. Bradford beat us 4-0 recently, and Barrow beat us. And that's with a 'normal' line-up. So why some fans expected them to turn on the style last night is a mystery. Give them some time, show them some patience, and watch them at their level against other teams of their age group and you'll see the potential is there.

most experts think otherwise, which should heal your Irish heart.

I know why we’ve made so many changes but we still need a bit of self-respect. Curtis Jones and Harvey Elliott simply have to take more responsibility. They need to demand the ball, drive the younger ones on and talk to them non-stop.

The whole coverage of football these days has lost the plot. Take replays. The convention used to be: only use them for something really significant, and wait for a break in play to show them. That's long gone, but now replays are used for everything, no matter how trivial, and, worse still, they're shown immediately while the game goes on; and the game is so quick these days that a keeper can save a shot, get up, throw the ball to a forward who can race away and score at the other end in less that ten seconds, and yet several replays still have to be shown and when the director cuts back to the action, there's a corner at the other end! And there's never an apology. That's one of the reasons why watching on TV is way more stressful than being at the game - you can't see what the hell is happening. Then there's the witless co-commentator. You don't need a co-commentator. They're only there because commentators are scared of silence. You may as well turn on the vacuum cleaner and hold it to your ear. As for the punditry - most of it, male nor female, is utterly pointless. But whenever TV tries to manipulate to benefit the previously excluded, it just shows its contempt for those people. Take the move to bring in black pundits. They got Ian Wright, encouraged him to act the clown and almost wrecked his career (he's only recently returned as a human being). They're still doing it with Micah 'alcohol poisoning' Richards, the Rusty Lee of the football world. And their attempt to be 'non-sexist' involves going for the women whom they can hype up as fashionistas. When a rotten institution tries to be admirable, it just shows its rottenness in its gestures.

Will Hughes' performance was a masterclass in how not to tackle: run up close behind a player, wrap your arms around them, try to rock them off the ball and if that doesn't work, push them down to the floor. Ref stands and watches admiringly. Absolutely unbelievable performance from him. I suspect Palace are such a bitterly brutal team because Hodgson trains them so monotonously that when they get into games they're already incredibly bad-tempered.

Your first point - 'same as the men' - seems to have shot the foot of your second remark.

Woods is just a pair of false eyelashes stuck to a microphone. Only 40 year old virgins could be dazzled by her perfumed inanity.

Is he moaning about his own club's fans or trying to ingratiate himself with them? I'll have to check the calendar. Or watch. "I am distressed by my comments and choice of word, which I bitterly regret". How are you distressed by your own comments? It's not like your own words are wild chimpanzees, leaping around your brain throwing sacks of rice all over the kitchen floor.

Fascinating to hear him explain what a Liverpool player should do - he didn't seem to know when he fecking managed any of them. Oh well, no doubt the apologists for such a shockingly cowardly manager will find a way to excuse whatever he does.

What gets me about some of the women who are co-commentators is that they try to sound like the worst of the blokes - they lower their voices, shout madly and make idiotic comments. Blokes don't need any help with that - they've been doing it for years. At least find your own style. And if they want to make the male and female games equal, then start using blokes for the women's game. Carney, personally, I find fairly decent - better than some of the men doing the job, but she is better on the radio, when they seem to encourage her to be herself. But the whole self-conscious indulgence is getting ridiculous, from the lipglossed Laura 'Oh, it's all so sexist, even though I'm forever tweeting pics of me in my underwear' Woods to the barking pundits who say nothing beyond 'he'll be disappointed in that' cliche.

I still can't believe how badly reffed that game was. He completely lost it. Embarrassing. How are you supposed to 'respect' someone who is so blatantly incompetent? As for Palace, they were cheats as well as cowards - in other words, entirely in the image of their manager. Since when has standing with your arms up blocking a throw-in been allowed? They did it pretty every time. Same with blocking free kicks - one of them got booked for it, all of the others didn't. And that wannabe albino, leaping on the backs of opponents until they fall over - that is not how tackling is supposed to be. And if players go down, a la Newcastle, with 'cramp' - drag them off the field. Everything about that team reeked of shite. If you're a lower league team playing a PL team in the cup, then, yeah, park the bus and gamble on a breakaway goal. But if you're in the same league, then for god's sake play as though you think you have a right to stay there. I'm sick to death of parking the bus being elevated to something positive - it's so easy to coach an infant school team could play it. It demands effort and concentration but that's it. No intelligence, no genius coaching, no merit. Every team that plays that way should be mocked relentlessly, not indulged. It's a shameful way to play in a league you claim to have earned the right to be. And oh yes, I haven't watched anything since, so maybe it's been discussed, but in the Spurs game VAR 'explained' they couldn't correct the Diaz decision because 'we can't stop play'. So how the feck did they manage to stop the play for the Palace pen? Fecking magic? An act of God? The whole system is a shambles.

No. We’re playing a boring team.

It’s a cowardly way to play when you’re at home. Drives me crazy how it keeps being depicted as impressive. Hughes is basically just shoving every opponent over, with impunity.

Why on earth did it take that idiot so long? The game is a shambles. And yet again the strategy of parking the bus at home is being hailed a some genius tactic.

1. That pitch was a disgrace as a potato patch. 2. I cannot work out why the repeated drying of the ball prior to a throw in wasn't prohibited. I read that rule at the start of the seaon. I thought maybe I'd misremembered, so I checked and sure enough there it was : 'The new rule on the towel ban approved earlier this month will also prevent players from using items of clothing offered up by fans to dry the ball for better grip'. So why suddenly was that wanker Wilder allowed to use it? 3. Three points, thank for feck for that.

Because we won, you sad fecker.

Absolutely right. Some people have an absurd expectation about a back-up player - they seem amazed if they're not as good or better than the first choice. If they were as good or better than the first choice, they'd either be gone already or on their way out to another club on a bigger wage. Add to that the lack of rhythm, and that's what you get, and what you always get, outside of dreams.

I don't get this. When he's confident, yes, you can. When he's not, no, you can't. If people think those three or four pens after he'd missed a couple, when he fired them at the space occupied at the whistle by the keeper's knee caps, were good, then god knows what they're taking. Sometimes, his confidence goes, like Gerrard's went, like just about anyone's goes, and then, if you're remotely sane, you WILL doubt him.. Are you asking people to ignore any reality and demand blind faith? Doubts come and go depending on the evidence in front of your eyes.