Stouffer

Aren't we one of the biggest exporters of land mines?

..Steven Seagal is touring with his band Thunderbox . What next Mr Miagi's Jazz Trio?

Just to throw something into the ring. Women tennis players.

I thought this thread was gonna be a piss take.

Two from my sparring past stand out. One knob from school when I was about 15 thought he would have a go at me. I was one of the better pupils in school, studied well and good at sports. This lad thought that because I was one of the swots and a big lad to boot (about 5'10'' and 14 stone) I would be easy pickings. He was giving it the "Your Mams a slag" sort of shit. I told him I was going to hammer the little fucker and that I would see hime behind the arena after school. When I got there he was waiting, I dropped him, first punch breaking his jaw. He got up and tried to kick me (the great big pussy) so I dropped him again breaking his nose. I walked off and left it at that. On my way past the school reception area I was stopped by our head of year (my PE teacher and rugby coach) and the deputy head-teacher. I was dragged into their office. They told me that he had been in squeling about what I had done and that I could be done by the police. They also told me that with his record he had no interest in taking it any further. I would have to go to see the head the next day. On my way out my head of year said he wanted a quiet word with me. He told me that I wasn't going to get thrown out of school and that the head would be told that as one of the good kids I was obviously defending myself and that at worst I would get a little telling off. On my way out he said, "The little fucker deserved it, we know that!" What a top guy. The second event was during playing football on the park when I was about 16. I went straight through this lad. He was about 6' and 16 stone and was a bit backwards (we used to refer to him as chubbles). Not fully retarded but defo not the full shilling. As we got up he punched me on the back of the head so I swung at him, missing completely. We stood toe to toe, and he grabbed me by the shirt, ripping it off completely. I'm stood there like Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon swinging like a frigging maniac. He just kept punching my face. I've never felt pain like it. I didn't go down tho' as I would have been truly in the shit then. After he beat the shit out of me for a couple of minutes his Dad who was walking their dog turned up and stopped the fight. I felt like the luckiest bloke in the world. Moral being that sometimes complete twats get their just desserts. Just not if they're mongs.

Mince and tatties. With THREE yorkshire puds.

Jobbies

Picking my nose and swearing, you fuckers.

Kenny, the second coming.

My brother in law was made up when I took him to Anfield for the Marseille game because he got to hear George's voice live.

Spare internal organs.

Jit

Rimjob

Pissflaps

It might not have been a West Ham fan, there may have been Arsenal supporters in that section of the crowd.

Why don't you ask this question on KT?

That makes me so fucking angry that does.

Apart from keeping the ball in the corner once, I like the way we attacked right until the end.

Sheff Utd are shit. I know pub teams that would beat the barcodes more than that.

Robbie on for Dirk.

Looks like God's coming on.

Bolton getting beat by Wigan.

I'll be happy with 2-0. A clean sheet would be nice too.

Reading fans are small time chumps. Conference teams would be embarrassed by their range of songs. "Premiership you're 'avin a laugh." Fuck off, please.