I’ll start at Old Trafford where the newly crowned Manager of the Month and Player of the Month got their arses handed to them by Bournemouth. This was not a shock result and anyone who was shocked by it has not been paying attention. It was Bournemouth’s first ever win at Old Trafford but they’ve never played a United side this bad before.
United have been beaten by every decent team they’ve faced and other than their 3-0 win at Goodison, I think every win they’ve had has been by one goal.
“The league table doesn’t lie” they say. That’s such bollocks, the league table this season has been like a Government Minister giving evidence at a Covid inquiry. United being three points behind City going into this game was the league table basically saying “yeah I have no idea what’s happened to all my WhatsApp messages, it must be because I changed my phone or something?”
United are a million fucking miles behind City yet the league table said it was three points. Remember that next time you hear “the table doesn’t lie” and file it away with “refereeing decisions even themselves out”.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing United’s starting line up and going through them one by one and going “he’s shite, he’s even worse, shite, shite, meh, who?, shite, kid, really shite, kid, holy fuck is he still there?” I’ll never get used to it and I’ll never tire of it. These are great times.
I’ve been saying for a couple of weeks that Bournemouth seem to have finally grasped what Iraola wants them to do and we can see now why he was so highly rated and why they binned O’Neil to get him. I slated them for that and I still think they should have kept O’Neil, but they’re a different beast than they were a few weeks ago when they looked like they might be the only ones to challenge the three newly promoted turds for a relegation spot. They’ll be well clear of it.
My boy Solanke scored very early to set them on their way. Tavernier had one ruled out for offside and Solanke was denied by the post as Bournemouth posed by far the bigger threat.
Billing made it 2-0 with a back post header. I’ve been debating whether he can still be ‘my boy’ or not after he changed the name on the back of his shirt from “Billing” to “Peter” but after this I’m going to allow it I think. Sense headed in the third and Old Trafford echoed with boos.
It got worse when Outarra made it 4-0 after a Maguire clown moment. At least it should have, but VAR spoiled the fun because the ball ricocheted off the keeper onto the chest of the Bournemouth man, and it then brushed his hand. There was no advantage gained from it, his hand didn’t deviate the path of the ball at all. But this is the shitty world we live in now. Legit goals being ruled out because of this forensic bullshit.
Fernandes got himself booked and will miss the trip to Anfield. There’s been some suggestion he did it deliberately. Not entirely sure I buy that as top level footballers tend to not think that way and always believe they can do something in any game, but then this cunt did throw his toys out of the pram last season when he was left on during the 7-0 and others were subbed. You can’t rule it out.
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