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Just wanted to mention what a top chap Morse is. He replied to my Leeds Reds thread and invited me into his home to watch the final with his family and his mates. A lovelier set of people you couldn't wish to meet, including his kids and their friends and his lovely wife Nicky. Morse and his wife & friends do a whole load of stuff for Chernobyl kids and I believe Nicky will be interviewed by LFCTV later this year. Look out for that. I left Morse's amongst big man hugs pretty much straight after the final whistle as I was so pissed off, as we both were, but if we'd won the thing I've no doubt we'd have been celebrating together for a good while. Top people who I hope to see again soon.

Now I don't like Franco's Nazis as I am a Barca man in Spain but you have to hand it to these cunts. Is there any other club like theirs? They literally buy whoever they want, over the years they have regularly bought the "unbuyable" from clubs with a lot of money themselves. Even now they are bullying the self proclaimed "biggest club in the world" as if they are taking a toy from a child. They think big and then think even bigger... it's utter madness. It is not just about money either as loads turn down Chelsea, but how many turn down Madrid? Can you think of some seriously crazy transfers? The only one I can think of is Andy Cole to United themselves in the UK that made me think "bloody hell"...

...to watch the game with the Spanish supporting reds. Not mind boggling news, I'll grant you, but I just thought you might want to know.

...than a one night stand. Pulled some nurse in Warrington on Saturday, or should I say she pulled me because I could barely stand up at the time. I only said I'd go back to hers because she said she'd give me a lift home in the morning - thus saving me 20 notes for a taxi. She was decent looking like, but I remember thinking while I was giving her one: "alright I'm bored now - please jizz so I can get my head down." Alas I couldn't, and to be quite honest - would rather have had a wank, at least that gets straight to the point. Still I got some breakfast and a lift home, it was raining on Sunday morning too.

Football: La Liga: it's the Sids 2008! Sid Lowe's season awards | Football | guardian.co.uk When Thierry Henry signed for Barcelona, 30,000 fans gathered at Camp Nou to celebrate his arrival and the press went potty, declaring the foundation of the Fantastic Four – the greatest forward line in history, one that would glide their way effortlessly to the title. Trouble is, Barcelona took them on their word and made no effort whatsoever. With Henry proving more cough-choke-grrr-bloody-well-start-you-bastard than va-va-voom, Ronaldinho sleeping off the night before in the gym and Samuel Eto'o getting injured and mad by turns, they barely played together and Barça's forward line was more the Wonderful One than the Fantastic Four. Only Leo Messi was truly impressive – and he suffered yet another muscle injury. So it was left to Real Madrid to walk the league title, finishing 18 points ahead of their rivals and eight above Villarreal in a frankly flat season that did at least throw up more surprises than a toddler chocking on a job lot of Kinder Eggs. Almería and Racing, two sides that could have been expected to go down, were nowhere near the drop, thanks to excellent coaches. Racing even earned a miraculous place in the Uefa Cup - the competition in which Spain converted to Getafe for a couple of hours. Meanwhile, Atlético Madrid actually stuck with a coach and returned to the Champions League for the first time in 11 years. Mind you, they were given a helping hand by the collapse of the other challengers. Espanyol shot into the top four only to have the worst segunda vuelta in the division and Sevilla missed out on head-to-head goal difference after a season in which everything went against them. Real Zaragoza managed to play Racing three times in a fortnight, each time with a different coach. Which pretty much says it all. Too good to go down, they went down anyway. Valencia didn't, but not for want of trying. They sacked Quique Sánchez Flores when they were just four points behind Madrid at the top and finished 34 (thirty-four!) points adrift. Still, at least Valencia won the Copa del Rey, while Iker Casillas won the Zamora award for best goalkeeper and Real Mallorca's Dani Guiza became the first Spaniard to win the Pichichi since Diego Tristán six years ago, with 27 goals. Raúl, meanwhile, won Marca's Inaugural Alfredo Di Stéfano trophy for the best Spanish player at Real Madri … er, best player of any nationality in La Liga - an award voted on by Marca readers and decided by a panel of former Madrid figures and Marca "experts". But if the rest of the league felt robbed by an award that was about as impartial as the Best Midget With A Double-Barrelled Surname In The England Squad As Voted For By Ian Wright Wright Wright Award (or even Sport's team of the year, that brilliantly includes five Barcelona players), fear not. Because these are the prizes they really, really wanted … Best performance Forget Sergio Aguero's single-handed destruction of Barcelona, the season's most virtuoso display came from Paolo Calabresi - the Italian actor and Nicolas Cage lookalike who doesn't look much like Nicolas Cage at all but still managed to get the VIP treatment at the Santiago Bernabéu, complete with the poor unsuspecting press officer singing him songs. Of course, Ramón Calderón "clocked him right from the start". Which will be why he gave him a signed Real Madrid shirt, made him a member and took him down to the dressing room after the game. Best president Football's very own Brian Potter with his potbelly, rubbish tache, flabby jowls, shabby suits, and marvellous ability to run a club with disastrous and comic consequences, Juan Soler is special. As in "needs". When he took over at Valencia in 2004, they'd just won the league and the Uefa Cup. Having also been to two Champions League finals and won another league title in the previous three years, they were statistically the continent's best club. Three and a half years later, Soler had clocked up one unsold former stadium, one unbuilt future stadium, €300m worth of debt, €180m worth of players, one star signing in a police cell, another star signing naked on the internet, a club captain in court, three veterans with over 1,000 Valencia games in exile, three medical chiefs, seven directors of football, five coaches … and no trophies. Within a couple of months of him leaving for medical reasons – he was making Valencia sick - they won the Copa del Rey. The perfect president. For someone else's club. Dirtiest tackle Ever Banega. Biggest villain Pedro Villarroel. Not content with going through nine coaches in seven years, racking up a huge debt, making secret pay-offs to secure survival last season or creating a "charitable foundation" with which to siphon off cash, the Levante owner chartered a plane so creaky that two players refused to board it, witnessed his star signing get injured and spiral into depression after using a makeshift gym compromising of a couple of weights sluing across a pair of chairs, and hasn't paid his players for over two years. Worse still, he had the cheek to fine Mustafa Riga for missing a training session and still shows no remorse: he called fans "subnormals" and "rats", sent text messages threatening players and asked the club captain if he believed in God, adding "good, then you know you're going to hell" when he said yes. That said, least appropriate means of transport Riga turned up at the training ground to plead poverty, waving papers that showed the bank was going to repossess his house after two years without being paid. Not the best day to roll up in a bad-boy Hummer with four new alloy wheels at €9,000 a pop. Most unfortunate journey 4am on his very first weekend in Spain and Royston Drenthe's SatNav said turn right, so he did – straight into an oncoming police car. Meanwhile, Ramón Calderón had one flight turned back midway across the Atlantic after Mighty Oviedo supporting singer Melendi got pissed up and lairy in the back row and after another flight found himself detained at JFK because US officials confused him with a Mexican bandit called Ramos Calderón. Getting its knickers into a self-righteous twist, Marca cried about how "utterly ridiculous" it was for Calderón to be confused with a "common criminal" and they were quite right - there's nothing common about him. But this award goes to the unnamed valet at Madrid restaurant Soko. When Getafe midfielder Javier Casquero turned up with a Porsche Carrera 911 and handed over the keys, the valet called his mates, went for a spin and ploughed it headfirst into six cars. Best excuse Atlético Madrid whinger José Antonio Reyes squirmed his way out of trouble for insulting coach Javier Aguirre by insisting "I didn't shit on his prostitute mother, I shat on my prostitute mother" and Bernd Schuster excelled himself week after week, culminating in his claim that defeat against Roma "wasn't a defeat". But the winner has to be Chris Coleman's fabulously far-fetched porky. The former Real Sociedad coach claimed to have missed a press conference after his washing machine broke down, flooding his flat. Only it wasn't just the machine that didn't wash and journalists quickly discovered that the only thing spinning furiously was Coleman's head after a 5am trip down the local student night. Speaking of journalists, most imaginative headline writing Bored of splashing on "Raúl Always Returns", perhaps because this time he actually did, and with no "Fuck of the Century" to bang on about, the creative geniuses at AS went all Groundhog Day with their mastery of maths. When Week 38 ended, bringing the curtain down on the season, their front cover declared a: "Record number of points" in great big yellow letters – and for once they weren't lying. After week 23, great big letters on their cover had screamed: "7 goals … and 8 Points!" After week 26, great big letters on their cover screamed: "5 points". And after week 27, great big letters on their cover screamed "7 points!" After week 28, it was "7 points!"; after week 29, it was "4 Points!"; after 31, "7 Points!" and after 32, "9 Points!". Inspired. Most convincing argument AS's mental Madridista Tomás Roncero's insistence that Cesc Fabregas is "definitely" coming to Madrid because he likes eating in De María - a restaurant that's only 800 metres from the Bernabéu! Most disturbing mental image Sport's description of Espanyol president Dani Sanchez Llibre arriving at a meeting behind the wheel of his car, "smoking and talking on his mobile." So what was he steering with? Biggest act of selling out Forget the deal that made BabyBell "The Official Cheese of Real Madrid", the winner is Marca's vile free-lunch-chasing columnist Roberto Gómez, who wrote an impassioned plea for Real Madrid to play a special friendly against Atlético Madrid. Apparently, Madrid had already played in a game between some people called "Israelis" and "Palestinians" in support of something called "peace", so it was only right and proper that they should also play to mark the opening of a controversial new development of 13,000 homes built by a construction magnate with a string of court cases hanging over him. Not that this column is suggesting Gómez was getting a free flat or anything, of course. Oh no. His price is far lower than that. Weirdest attempt to motivate your team Betis's very own little Lionel Blair, Paco Chaparro, spent the week leading up to the Seville derby showing his players slideshows of wolves sneaking through the grass, ready to pounce. It was time, he said, to become the hunters not the hunted. His team went on to the Pizjuán pitch with the determination and ruthlessness of a hungry salivating pack. And lost 3-0. Weirdest attempt to motivate your team-mates Valencia winger Joaquín and his tunnel talk, in which he shouted: "Come on lads, let's do them. There's not many of them and they're malnourished." Alas, by the time Valencia gathered in the tunnel before the second half, the battle cry had changed, goalkeeper Santiago Cañizares shouting: "Come on lads, for fuck's sake, let's avoid this becoming an embarrassment." Greatest entertainers Atlético - at the Calderón, at least. As if three successive 4-3s weren't enough, there was a 6-3 and a game of comic genius against Getafe, in which Perea punched Belenguer, Maniche tried to maim Cata Díaz, Granero got in a fight with a ball-boy, Pato started on the subs, Aguirre started on Pato, the goalie coach refused to give the ball back, Maxi got taken out, and so in fact did just about everyone else. It was slapstick violence at its best, every tackle leaving fans wincing and laughing in equal measures, and in the middle of it all Clos Gómez lost the plot and started dishing out cards like a croupier on crack. Twelve in less than half an hour, plus six reds, including one for Sevillian simpleton Reyes, who'd only been on the pitch quarter of an hour, and Aguirre's No2 for "making observations". It finished nine against nine, eight minutes into additional time. When Manu de Moral was handed the record-breaking eighteenth card in the 94th minute, the Calderón roared its approval, chanting: "We want more! We want more!" Best goal Getafe's he's-behind-you moment at Madrid was the season's funniest, and Javier Arizmendi's strike in the same stadium, when he sent Fabio Cannavaro sliding dementedly by like a McDonald's worker on his way to the chip pan, was the most unexpected. But there have been better – like Marcos Senna against Betis, a Fernando Varela hit that was plain indecent, and Cazorla's perfect one-two against Barça. Ronaldinho briefly reappeared to score a phenomenal overhead kick only to be overshadowed by what Kun Aguero did at the other end - probably the best of the Argentinian's catalogue of great goals. And then there was Álvaro Negredo's flick-up-and-finish. But this column's favourite was this beauty from Valladolid – the fastest goal in La Liga history. Best coach Unai Emery: does exactly what he says on the screen. The Almería coach went on telly with a tactics board and explained how he was going to defeat Real Madrid 24 hours before going into the arena and doing precisely that – the high point of an exceptional season. Manuel Pellegrini not only led Villarreal to their best-ever finish but did so having had to rebuild his team after Riquelme's departure. But the winner has to be Racing Santander manager Marcelino García, who took his side to a first ever, thoroughly improbable, European place in 94 years of history. Player of the year Runner up: Iker Casillas. Normally the Zamora award goes to the keeper with the best defence. Not this time: Iker faced more shots than anyone else in Spain but performed weekly miracles like he was having a nice cup of tea. First: Sergio Aguero. The milk. The consecrated bread. Born of a whore mother. The dog's dinglie-danglies. With his low-slung balance, skill, quick feet, acceleration, vision, strength and goals (19 of them, if you believe Marca; 20 according to the Federation), 19-year-old Aguero was unbelievable this season, finally taking an otherwise fairly average Atlético back to the Champions League. The "New Messi" could turn out to be the new Maradona. And not just because he's marrying El Diego's daughter. Team of the season GK: Iker Casillas, Madrid. RB: Dani Alves, Sevilla. CB: Gonzalo Rodríguez, Villarreal. CB: Fabricio Coloccini, Deportivo. LB: Joan Capdevila, Villarreal. RM: Wesley Sneijder, Madrid. CM: Marcos Senna, Villarreal. CM: Seydou Keita, Sevilla. LM: Santi Cazorla, Villarreal. S: Sergio Aguero, Atlético. S: Dani Guiza, Mallorca. Subs: Edu (Betis), Ibagaza (Mallorca), Raúl, Heinze, Pepe and Guti (Madrid), Milito and Messi (Barça), Garay (Racing), Fabiano (Sevilla), Casquero (Getafe), Pires and Nihat (Villarreal), Forlán (Atlético), Llorente (Valladolid). And, finally, some of 2007-08's choicest quotes "[Espanyol president] Daniel Sanchez Llibre's behaviour was infantile and absurd" - So said Joan Laporta, the man who stripped to his undies at airport security. "We might as well give up on football, grab a coffee and start playing cards if this is what's going to happen" - Zaragoza keeper César Sánchez bitches about the refs, while Zaragoza fans wonder why he and his team-mates didn't come up with that idea 38 weeks earlier. "I miss tea" - Thierry Henry sums up every ex-pat's Spanish hell. "I've got at least four or five of the squad behind me" - Valencia coach Ronald Koeman neglects to add the words, "brandishing knives". "When I went to Valencia, Joaquín was worth €30m; now he's worth 30" - Koeman doesn't so much cut off his nose to spite his face as hack at it with a scythe. "Ronaldinho is training in the gym today" - Aye, right. "What is black one day is white the next" - Xavi Hernández reports back from the Neverland ranch. "Stick a collar on him" - Bernd Schuster explains the best way to stop Leo Messi. And later blames it on his son - the Schuster really writing Bernd's blog. "Barça are more than a club and you, Sir Norman, are more than an architect" - Joan Laporta reaches for the architect's hand while everyone else reaches for the sick bucket.

Official 2008 HJC Cup 5-A-Side-Footy Tournament Date: Saturday 10th May 2008 Time: Registration, 12pm. Kick-Off, 1pm Venue: PlayFootball, Drummond Road, Crosby, L23 9YP Contact Details Entry fee: £100 per squad. Squads can contain a MAXIMUM of 8 players, to include rolling subs. ********************* Apologies for the delay in sorting this year’s tournament, but we got there eventually. Most of you know the drill, but for those wishing to attend for the first time, here’re the basics:- This is the annual 5-a-Side football tournament held to raise money for the Hillsborough Justice Campaign. Now in its sixth year (we think, we’re not counting), this tournament has fast become a mainstay of the LFC football season and has been hotly contested in recent years. Everyone is welcome, veterans and newbies alike. Don’t worry if you can’t get a team together but want to play. Just get in touch at the email addy below to register your interest and we can find/create a team for you. Each team must nominate a team captain, who is then responsible for registering their team and collecting monies (see below). The Prize: The much-coveted HJC Cup itself. Hankered after by all the footballing greats, including Pele, Michel, Diego, Kenny, Alan, Stevie, Jamie, Walshy, Digger and Torben, this magnificent trophy, plus medals for each winning squad member, would look great on any mantelpiece. The player of the tournament, as judged by a specially selected scouting panel (Karl & Craig) will be presented with the Kieran Taylor Memorial Trophy. How To Enter:- ALL teams must first REGISTER via their team captain by emailing Sarah Deane on sair37@redandwhitekop.net Please include your team name and contact details. Your registration will then be confirmed by return email. Entry fees can then be paid in one of the following ways: PAYPAL: Payments PER TEAM ONLY can be made to sarahdeane@thequestionmaster.co.uk with “HJC Cup [Team Name/Team Captain]” stated clearly in the reference box. CHEQUE: Made payable to “Hillsborough Justice Campaign” and your team name/team captain written clearly on the back. Cheques can be handed in at the HJC Shop or posted to: HJC Cup Entry 408 The Collegiate Shaw Street Liverpool L6 1HA In either case, please include a covering letter stating clearly who the money is from and a contact email so receipt can be confirmed. So, What Happens Then? For anyone who’s never been before, this is what happens. Group Stages (teams drawn by independent UEFA official. Or Gerry). Quarter-Finals (or Second Round, depending on number of teams entered) Semi Finals 3rd/4th place play off Final Beer. Bibs are provided, but it would be helpful if all teams can ‘co-ordinate’ their kits. PlayFootball has a spacious licensed bar for spectators. This year, we have the WHOLE venue to ourselves. Yee-hah. Or something. Supporters are welcome – the bar’s open all day ;) The evening do will also be held at PlayFootball this year – one long, continuous ‘do’. Afterwards, in the bar area, there will be a short trophy presentation followed by some very special spoken word performances by some well-known local names, plus music and a raffle. The highlight of the evening will be an auction with some very special lots, to be advertised on here nearer the time. Start saving now, as all proceeds go directly to the HJC. Despite the short notice, we hope this year’s tournament will be as successful as ever, and everyone involved would like to say thanks in advance to all of you making the effort. Any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to IM me or email sair37@redandwhitkekop.net Keep your eyes on this page, or the HJC Cup website at Untitled Document over the coming weeks for details of any changes. For more information about the Hillsborough Justice Campaign, go to The Hillsborough Justice Campaign http://www.contrast.org/hillsborough/hjc-cup/shtm

I'm looking to try and watch FOOTBALL on my mobile so wanted a flash new phone. I'm preferably looking for a brand new nokia n96 16gb, for around $300 if possible? Any ideas?