Uncle Junior

What are you, a fuckin wiseguy now?

The good half, no doubt.

Hooooooooooooo, I need you fightin my fuckin battles now? Stick to fantasisin about jerkin off monkey's dressed like schoolboys, asshole. And it's 'ignoramus', you dumb fuck. For the record, it wasn't me who slashed this atk asshole. If it had been, he wouldn't be tellin the tale to no-one. Maybe it was an angry boyfriend, I hear this atk cocksucker has been up more ass's than an ass doctor.

All you fuckin assholes who are so prejudiced against Italians can kiss my fuckin wrinkled old ass. I fuckin told you the Azzurri are gonna win this fuckin world series thing. That pennant is comin home baby!!

Where did you get that joke, the joke museum?

Paulie stole that joke from me. Fuckin silver winged mutt that he is.

I don't have a daughter. I got a son who likes to dress up like a broad though, a real ugly kid, looks a lot older than he actually is. It would apear you know him.

Hooooooooooooooooooo. You blow your father with that mouth?

Yeah, I heard your crew prefer to swallow. Hey Captain, do you remember your first blowjob? How long did it take the guy to come? Hehehehehehe Hey guys, did you hear what I just said? I asked Captain if he remembered his first blow job, then I asked him how long it took the guy to come. Hehehehehe.

Italia! Italia! Italia!

And if they did, who would even know. Or care. Santa Claus maybe. And how the hell did you ever make captain, in my crew you'd be cleaning the cars and shining my shoes.

Hey, if you want that it's a phone call away

Low cocaine usage in the US? Hehehehe obviously you haven't been to one of my parties my friend.

Hehehehe look at your picture. You're a fuckin redhead!!! Hehehehe, what are you, an Irishman? I like the Irish, John Kennedy was a mick too, he was a great man.

I thought Norway was a make believe place where Father Christmas lives? Or was that the Netherlands? No, wait, thats where Peter Pan lives. Come on guys, help me out here. Is Norway a real country, and if it is then why aren't they playing against my Italia boys in this world cup thing?

The only chance you Limey's have of winning anything, is if the US sends in re-enforcements to help you out, just like we did in WW2. Otherwise, the Germans will roll all over you tea drinkin assholes.

Hello my friends, sorry I haven't been around much lately, had a bit of business to take care of back in the old country. I can't say too much, as there's some real fuckin rats in this place, but let's just say I had to do a favour for an old friend. Poor guy is facin a big fuckin trial over there and he finds out one of his captains had turned rat and was gonna testify against him in return for immunity. Cocksucker. So he asked me to pay this guy a visit. The craziest thing, I swear I didn't lay a finger on the guy, the asshole just sees me and my guys walk into his office and he jumped from a fuckin second floor window. He must have thught rats could fly hehehehe. But how about those Italia boys huh? Those kangaroo eatin assholes tried every dirty trick in the book, but us paisans are a strong breed, and my boy Totti showed he got stugots the size of fuckin melons right there. Me and a few of the guys watched it in a bar, but it was a fuckin joke. All the Aussies were watchin the game, so there was no-one to clear the empty glasses from our table. Piled up high like the fuckin leanin tower of Pisa they were.

Game, with a sweaty snatch, yeah that's what it said underneath Miss Piggy's number hehehehe

Hey atk, you remember your first blow job? How long did it take the guy to come?

Ain't that the sad fuckin truth. These kids today, they got things too fuckin easy, everything's fuckin handed to em on a plate. Guys nowadays only have to whack one or two nobodies and they get their button. I had to take out three fuckin bosses and two presidents before I got made.

Also, and I probably shouldn't say this, but I figure we're all friends here, right? Well a friend of ours was sat on the sidelines with Lippi. Some people in high places weren't happy with what they saw from that official, especially him sending De Rossi to the sin bin, so we got our guy to give a message to the official. I don't need to go into details here on what was said, let's just say it involved his stugots and some razorwire, but you could see from the two sin bins to the US players and that score that got wiped out that he got the message. Hehehehehe A lot of our guys have got some serious money on Italia to win this world series thing. They've made some big fuckin money on Juve, and are doublin up on this.

Hehehe, yeah it said that too. You remember writing it then I see.

Hehehehe good to see one Australian sticking to what he's good at. What did he serve him, beer or spirits? Hey guys, did you hear what I just said? He said "Kewell gave him a huge serve at the end of the match", so I said "good to see one Australian sticking to what he's good at. What did he serve him, beer or spirits" Hehehehe, because Australians all work in bars, or wrestle alligators. Hehehehe

I've seen frogboy's old ladys phone number on hundreds of mensroom walls. His too actually.

Americans trying to bully and trample down the Italians, who'd have fuckin thought it. Paisan's don't take that kinda shit lyin down, we're real life fuckin gladiators. That De Rossi kid's old man is in my crew. He doesn't take any shit either hehehehehe