Watford edged the Z-Cars derby thanks to an Andre Gray strike. My boy Troy's pre-match pleas fell on deaf ears as loads of fans brought rubber snakes with them to show what they think of Marco Ssssssilva. Or should that be $ilva? Either way, they think he’s a twat.
There was all sorts of aggro after the game too as Everton fans reportedly began attacking Watford fans as they came out of the stadium. There's two sides to every story of course, but let's just say that Watford aren't exactly known for the reputation of their 'firm'. Probably Millwall's fault though.
The goal came from a corner that shouldn’t have been given, which just makes it all the more amusing. The ref should have known that wasn't a corner as Pickford was never going to get a touch on that shot. Not with those little arms. Zouma was sent off after the final whistle for getting in the refs face to complain about it.
That derby game really did do irreparable damage to this Everton team. Only for the fact they’d picked up a fair few points earlier in the season, they’d be in the relegation mix right now as they’re free falling. The countdown to the second coming of the Moyesiah is well under way now.
The Mancs extended their unbeaten run under the Goblin with a routine 3-0 win at Fulham. The Londoners started brightly and had a couple of great chances to take the lead but, as usual, their car crash defending would prove to be their undoing.
I hammered Ranieri recently for picking that Tim Ream bum, but after seeing the performance of Maxine Le Marchand I now have some sympathy with arl Claudio, as if this is the alternative no wonder he went with Ream. The Frenchman was more like Tim Ream than Tim Ream himself. You'll do well to find a worse performance from anyone all season.
Then there’s the keeper, allowing Pogba to score at the near post like that. Shite. Fulham basically handed this game to United with the kind of defending (and goalkeeping) that has no business in any of the top four divisions in England, let alone the top one. I’m officially giving up on Fulham now. You can’t defend like they do and hope to have any chance of doing anything. Not even Lazar can save them.
Cardiff though, they continue to defy the odds. Their win at Southampton was huge for both teams. As much as everyone (including me) seems to just be assuming they will go down, their players seem to believe otherwise. Going to Southampton in a six pointer and coming away with a stoppage time winner says a lot about them. And maybe says even more about Southampton.
That little bounce they had when ‘Useless’ was sacked and the new fella came in seems to have gone now. This result puts them right back in the mix to go down. I don't believe they will, but losing at home to Cardiff suggests it might be trending that way.
Sol Bamba put Cardiff ahead and immediately charged straight into the away end to celebrate with the fans. He’s boss him. He was having a laugh with some of them on twitter afterwards too, as one of them broke his glasses in the celebrations. If you’re a team at that level you’d love someone like him, he's a proper leader.
It looked like that would be the winning goal but then Stephens equalised in stoppage time. Huge blow for Cardiff, but incredibly they went down the other end won it through Zohore. Their first back to back wins in the top flight since the 1950s. Mad that.
Not sure I’m comfortable with all this “we’re doing Emiliano proud” talk though. Warnock was giving it all that afterwards, and while I understand that he’s trying to pay his respects in his own way, the lad didn’t know anyone at the club, hadn’t played a game for them and if he’s up there somewhere watching footy, chances are he’s watching Nantes and not Cardiff.
Cardiff's win tightens things up down there, especially as Brighton lost to Burnley and are now only three points above the drop zone. The Seagulls are struggling, which only serves to show just what an amazing job Hughton has done there. Player for player, they are probably in the three worst squads in the league along with Cardiff and Huddersfield. They were last year too, but they finished mid-table because Hughton did a great job.
They fell behind to a Chris Wood strike after the striker was left in the clear when Lewis Dunk fell over. He added a second after the break and then Barnes made it 3-0 from the spot after being felled by the keeper. Duffy pulled one back but Burnley were comfortable winners and are now level on points with Brighton.
Stuart Atwell though. Fucking hell. At 2-0 Brighton should have had the clearest of penalties. Somehow both he and his linesman missed it, and 15 seconds later he’s giving one at the other end.
The Burnley pen is a little dubious for me. Barnes was brought down by the keeper, there’s no doubt about that, but Wood picked up the loose ball and put it wide of an open goal. The ref brought it back and gave the pen, but my question would be; if Wood had scored would he have ruled it out to give the pen instead? I suspect he would have allowed Wood’s goal to stand, so by that logic it probably shouldn’t be a pen.
Fucking sick of Burnley and their dubious pens though. Two in seven days now (or two in two years depending on your point of view!). They’re getting as bad as Palace.
Arsenal won away. Not something that happens too often. It was only Huddersfield though, and as I said last week it’s almost as though that shouldn’t even count now. Iwobi’s deflected volley put the Gunners ahead but Huddersfield could have had a pen when my boy Puncheon’s shot was blocked by the hand of Koscielny. The defender hit the deck holding his balls and the ref fell for it. Defo hit his hand first though.
Lacazette fired in Arsenal’s second after good work by Maitland-Niles and that proved decisive, as Huddersfield pulled one back in stoppage time when Kolasinic put through his own net.
The Huddersfield fans are great. They’re still making noise and getting behind the team. They get a corner when they're losing 4-0 and they're still roaring encouragement. They’ve never turned against the players or lost enthusiasm, even though they’ve basically been down since around October. Fair play to them, no doubt they'll have plenty to cheer about next season as I'd be surprised if they're not in contention to come back up again. They need a couple of goalscorers though.
Over at Selhurst Park, Wilfried Palace missed a shedload of chances in a 1-1 draw with West Ham, whose fans taunted Zaha by chanting “you’re not good enough for England”. I saw something on Twitter in response to that which made me laugh. Zaha isn’t even English but he’s represented England more times than Mark Noble.
I’m a big fan of Wan Bissaka but I saw something from him in this game that really concerned me, and I don’t mean his hair. He was just ambling back when Anderson was running clear. He could have caught him if he had sprinted, but there was absolutely no desire from him to get back in there and defend. Alarming that.
West Ham took the lead when the keeper flattened Antonio and Noble despatched the spot kick. Benteke was denied by Fabianski and McArthur and Batshuayi both missed sitters before Zaha eventually squeezed in the equaliser with the aid of a deflection. He almost won it right at the death too but was denied by Fabianksi.
Onto Sunday now, and a game I saw someone refer to as 'El Plastico'. Very good that. Just what the fuck were Chelsea playing at though? Not football, put it that way.
I was fairly sure they'd lose, but not like this. Top sides should NEVER lose like this, no matter who they are playing. Not unless they have a player or two sent off anyway. Chelsea are a disgrace and although it's partly on Sarri and his one dimensional tactics and unwillingness to compromise on them, the big problem is that toxic group of players.
How many managers are they going to see off because someone at Chelsea realises they have a problem with the culture at the club? Loads more hopefully, because as things stand they're no threat to us.
At 0-0 Higuain fluffed a chance. So much for proving me wrong eh? Man’s a fraud. Always has been, always will be. F-R-A-U-D. Of course he’ll probably score against us now that I’ve said that, but it won’t change anything. Kevin Lisbie once scored a hat-trick against us and he was shit too.
A minute after that miss City had the lead. Of course it came from someone getting in behind and firing in a low cross to Sterling at the back post. Chelsea’s defending on that was Fulham-esque. So amateurish. Minutes later they were undone again. Bernardo Silva down the side, low cross to the back post, but Aguero incredibly put it wide.
That must have pissed him off because the next time he got the ball he lashed it into the top corner from 25 yards. It was 3-0 almost immediately as Barkley headed the ball back towards his own goal straight to the feet of Aguero. Once a Blue always a Blue eh, you breeze block headed cunt.
Gundogan made it 4-0 and there wasn’t even half an hour gone. Carra summed it up perfectly when he said that Chelsea have morphed into Arsenal. Of the top clubs, only the Gunners have it in them to get their pants pulled down like this against a rival.
Aguero made it 5-0 from the spot after Sterling had been hacked down. Hat-trick for him, but the funny thing is that all anyone wanted to talk about was the dramatics of Mike Dean as he pointed to the spot. He’s a massive tool that fella but he’s hilarious.
Sterling bagged the sixth and I’m not even going to tell you how it came about. Textbook City, and further proof of how badly prepared so many teams are.
That keeper is fucking shite as well. How come no-one is talking about that? Imagine the media coverage if Alisson had been shit. This lad cost even more money and has been a shambles so far.
I see Aguero still doing interviews in Spanish because he’s just flat out refused to learn English despite having played over here for about ten fucking years. Lazy cunt.
Sarri refused to shake Guardiola’s hand afterwards. No idea what his reasoning was, but I wouldn’t want to shake his hand either as he’s a fake nice guy twat. Sarri will be getting a handshake soon though. A golden one.
Also on Sunday, Claude Puel left out Vardy at Spurs because he “wants to develop other options”. How about you develop them against someone else, you whispering fucking prick. He compounded that fuck up by then bringing him on to take a penalty (after the latest Maddison dive), which of course he missed.
That would have made it 1-1 after Spurs had led through a first half goal from Sanchez. Minutes after the penalty miss Eriksen made it 2-0. Vardy pulled one back but with Leicester pushing hard for an equaliser they got caught on the break and Son made it 3-1.
Spurs just keep spawning wins despite hardly ever looking any good. The only time they haven’t managed to do it was against United. They were the better side that day but their spawn isn’t as strong as United’s. Son was booked for diving, which is par for the course with Spurs as it happens every week. If it’s not Son it’s Kane, or Alli, or Lamela. All diving bastards. But let’s talk about that Mo Salah fella eh?
Finally, Wolves and Newcastle on Monday night. I almost shit a lung at the finish to that game. So, so funny. Newcastle deservedly led and looked like they would pick up a massive three points on their fight to stay up, but a crazy passage of play in the dying seconds ended with Boli heading the ball out of the hands of the keeper as he tried to catch a cross that had been completely mis-hit.
Was it a foul on the keeper? I don't know. Maybe. The keeper should have done much better, but usually refs will take the easy option and give the free-kick. This ref didn't, and Rafa looked like he was gonna keel over as he was so red faced and mad.
That's not why I thought it was funny, I felt kind of bad for him as he'd done a number of Wolves tactically. It was funny because all night was that the cameras kept showing the away end and all the shirtless knobheads in there. They thought they were going back up the North East with three points, but instead all they got was a kick in the nuts.
Laughing at Geordies is one of the joys of being a football fan. They're not as funny as Evertonians but they're a distant second.
Finally, have you seen the state of Newcastle’s new signing? Some Paraguayan lad they bought from the MLS. He came on as a sub and I was like "what the fuck is that?". He looks like a worm with eyebrows.
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