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I have been arrested for life, I want to take the easy way out. In my rroom there is a deck of cards, A small metal pole, a hankey a radiator and a small piece of wood with a point. How will i kill myself?

what the fuck.

garfield minus garfield This is bloody brilliant. Its the garfield comic strips with garfield removed to reveal a better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life. OK that makes it sound shit, but trust me it is piss funny.

Can anyone give me the info on this? I'm considering a PS3 and want to know whether or not I should care what model I get with regards to hard disk size.

just got in from one of the most epic nights ever (and not in a good way)...let me tell you what happened (i'm munching on a cornish pasty and i need to write it down so i dont forget it when i wake up in a few hours).... Anyways, I was walking to a club with my friend - talking about football - when this young kid (cant have been above 18) jumps out and punches my mate with a knuckle duster. My friend is knocked out with a bleeding eye so after i have seen to him i run after the chavvy little twat. Turns out he ran full pelt for about 200 metres and punched another fella before running into a taxi and driving off... just who the fuck do they think they are! if i had a gun i would have happily shot him in the knee caps... anyway, after that i danced the night away at a shitty club before ending up at an ugly birds house! this girl was so ugly she makes Vannessa Feltz look slim and toned.....I wake up at 5AM around 7 miles from my house so what do i do? i get up and break the fuck out! 20 minutes into my walk home i feel a burning sensation on my bellend...uh oh! the ugly bint has only given me an STD i think to myself...oh no she hasnt, i have just got chilli source (from my kebab earlier) on my helmet and it is stinging like fuck! anyways, i walk down the road with my knob out (it is 5 am and the breeze is cooling it down somewhat) when suddently i feel a bubbling... an evil bubbling that to me signified nothing other than mud butt - i had to take a dump, i had to take a dump immedietly.... i was frantic. not only do i have a burning bellened, but my arse is about to drop a deuce the size of Sicily. After much frantic searching i eventually find a bus shelter that would suffice and dropped it like it was bloomin hot! afterwards i got up and thought that i needed a snack...afterall, i had deserved it. Not to worry, there was a 24 hour service station just 5 minutes up the road so all was good (as was my bellend, which by this time had cooled down somwhat)... As i stroll into the shop i hear a couple of gents behind me. Now these werent any normal gents, these were filthy pikeys! the sort of guys who would punch you to the ground and fart in your mouth the second you looked at em. "alright cunt" one of them exclaimed. "yes, sir, how may i help you" replied the shop assistant. "give me your fucking money and you, you gormless cunt! give me your wallet"...well i was shocked! not only had i witnessed a drive by punching, had sex with a women who resembled a troll, walked 7 miles with a burning dong AND done a shit in a bush, now i was being robbed! i snapped! i knew i would get a kicking but right then i couldnt give a damn! "listen mate! i just came in here to buy some pig snacks! i feel like shit and i just want to get home! if you want to rob me you will found nowt as i have fuck all so please just get back in your van and fuck off". I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable arse kicking...but it never happened. The two pikeys laughed and strolled off into their van, probably with a story that would amuse their grandkids/brothers for many a year... Anyways, i ended up buying the pig snacks and walked home. I have just got in and i have a banging headache, red eyes, and a gut the size of a small Island, but i couldnt give a poop! twas a crazy night! i have work in two hours though so goodnight GF's and i will no doubt regret this message when i read it back later...peace!

"The overstanding"-My new album in storz now.

I have no fucking idea how this is supposed to work, but I will give it a go.