Horus

haaland will sign for the team that showed they wanted him early on, have kept pursuing him, and signed up one of his now former teammates for £75m in this window.

Go and get the Balotelli...

The crazy double-negative was mind blowing as SitM pointed out, but everyone does it from time to time as we rush through posts, so zero mockery was intended.

You work for the Barcelona Echo, mate?

Not yet, but he can do you a cracking deal on some sky cards.

FSG getting that massive half billion cash injection is as good as on-field success in my opinion, especially knowing that Lebron rocks up on tv in a Liverpool jacket every once in a while.

Chelsea and city are the main reasons that the "there will be better value next summer" leaks from the club, never make sense. Chelsea will be going all in on Haaland for £150m, so good luck negotiating fees in that climate. We benefitted from a crazy Neymar fee to maximise Coutinho, so the club know full well they're talking bollocks.

He needs Parry's Barbados travel agent. Helped him leave players on runways for a solid decade.

Unfortunately, your Christian name is Im.

Like the man himself, I'd be a bit split over this signing.

Nah, just a fan of Dickens. Who doesn't love a tale of two cities?

Although bringing in players after the season has started isn't necessarily a huge deal, I don't think it helps foreign players settle in as easily or as quickly as if they'd had a pre-season on the training ground.

Just the kind of bullshit I'd expect from an SP.

We don't have any money to buy French players.

I don't think you and dockers get to decide west hams transfer policy, mate. What? It's a joke.

Maddison on his way to Arsenal for £55-70m apparently.

I disagree that he won't be under pressure. We've all seen him be a good player when fit, and now there is no gini to fall back on. If we don't actually bring a first team midfielder in (and it looks like we probably will), he will be under the most pressure.

He'd get his payments stopped for not being available for work often enough.

I don't think anyone doubts he's a talented footballer, I think the issue is that he could be as talented as Maradona, but if he's made of crisps then what's the point? We don't have a city-esque squad filled with luxuries and I think the biggest issue is the fact that selling him would result in about a 50% loss on his fee.

The good news keeps on flowing today

This time next year, rodders...