TwelveMonkeys

A young girl goes to her dad and ask for some money to go to the cinema. The dad says " go on then...if you suck my cock" The little girl gets down and starts to gobble. "errr dad" she says "it tastes like shit" "Oh-eye ' says the dad "your brother is going with you"

Cheers boys. Daughters rock.

My daughter had a school trip to Old Trafford the year we made it 5. This is her in LFC gear, stood in the ManUtd trophy room, laughing at the Carling Cup.

"I'm 64 years young" Fuckweasel.

Babies are born without knee caps.

Can I sneak in a manager. I'd still put Stuart Pearce up against anyone. He's a fuckin animal.

Stuck for what to buy the lady? Try this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA

General advice......Don't slag existing employers / employees. Crack a couple of small, never gonna offend anyone jokes - if you could change one thing about yourself what would it be - hmmm...probably my ears..hahaha. That kind of shit. Just one or two though. When they ask a question, pause before answering - even if you know the answer. Just take five seconds to think - start a couple with "I think that is a very good question" or "hmmm...that's a tough one" even if it is shit. Let the interviewer believe you respect him for coming up with some good questions. Draw on examples from all your experiences - personal and work. Unless you have to, never use the same one twice. Body language and eye contact is very important. Sometimes more important than your answers. Don't let your eyes wander. Give your answer to everyone in the room, make them listen by looking at them. Sit up straight and be confident. If they are stupid enough to ask you what are your strengths, have an answer prepared from their job spec. If the job is looking for a team player with a great sense of humour...would you fuckin believe it...they just happen to be my biggest strengths. As someone has already said, make them talk. Put questions back onto them...so if they ask why do you want to work for us, you answer and then finish with "so in your opinion, why should I work for this company?". Never forget the interview is a two way process. They need to assess you but you need to assess him and his company. BIG ONE....do your homeowrk on the company..nothing worse than some wanker turnig up for interview and having nothing to say when you ask "so what do you know about the company?...nothing...fucking wanker....get out". " Don't be nervous - you should enjoy it knowing the poor bastard that is interviewing you doesn't stand a chance.

I'll bring the thread back for you. You are either gay, or...well...you are gay. Bond would take this pretentious bollocks down with a single bullet and a witty line, but not before nailing the lead girls mother.

Oh yeh...I pass also..

A good Roquefort, cheddar, or English Farmhouse cheese.

Cheeses that make your head sweat.

Legs evertime. Fat birds can have big tits....doesn't mean shit.

Anyone else watch the Pele tribute.... http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1173115108 Unbelievable.

Now that I like.

As long as it's vanilla, we are cooking on gas.

OK...lets keep this on the down-low. I can hear the wolves barking but we need to keep eyes on the main driver. Lets white board the actionables, Remmie you have the floor. I want to be crystal here - lets question the answers then park up for a walk around the block. And listen, there are no wrong answers - just bad questions.

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to Audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" "Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these bread-wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufactures, and every now and then they send us a free box of bread wafers." "I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the now-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on,"What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."

Hmmmm. I'm not sure we are singing from the same song book. It's definately on my radar, just not mission critical. Lets concentrate on the low hanging fruit but keep focused on magnetic North. You need to get docked with this pronto, but keep with the can do attitude. Lets get back out there and cook the goose.

Thanks for bringing this to the table. For this to be actionable we need to think outside the box. Lets go blue sky. Green field. But lets keep it vanilla. We need to ensure we ring fence the issue whilst keeping focused on the bigger picture. Lets get together later for a mind shower. Park it for now- but keep the engine running.

...and when Del takes a beating for Rodney.

True enough...sorry...I will try harder next time.

Give every letter of the alphabet a number in order...just don't give 'A' number 1. You did right to identify the most common letter as a vowel, most likely an 'E' or 'O' as there are two together.

Fuck..sorry...the 3 is an e. The answer is Eat My Cheese. Basic Da Vinci Code shit.

I am his brother. Sorry. I was talking to him about it the other day. He says he can't afford to come on any more. He only has to open the website and his day is lost. I am sure when he gets pissed off enough with something he will make a return.