goatboy59

Secrets Of The Mafia with Jen Chang "Always keep a hand near your pocket, like you're carrying a weapon"

"Not necessarily, Joe..."

Even Rodgers believed the new squad cuts were a tad excessive

Anfield Deep Throat Finally Identified "And Riise went down like a sack of shit..."

"You tear them a new one, we hit them for a big fee, you go there and play shite, we get you back for nowt. Mike said he'd split the diff three ways - lavverly jabberly"

It finally dawned on Torres why Clattenburg gave him a red card.

Cole gets eviction notice "Boss, the fat bastard won't budge, I need back-up" "Get the wallet, then try"

Getting desperate now Side by side on my piano key board, oh lord Why don't weeeeeeeeeeee?

She'll give 'em a jiggle, I'll go start the car. Give it two minutes and then run for your lives.

Everton calendar big hit No, seriously......

Jimmy Saville? Never heard of him.

"Shit? Was Rio nearby when I was whistling 'Swannee'?"

"THE Jordan? With the giant bazoomas?" "No, one enormous cunt though..."

Managers were enjoying the rought treatment of Suarez a bit TOO much "SCHWIIIIING!"

"Z, Y, X, W, V, U......"

The next Marcus Garvey.

Replying to the crumbliest, flakiest poster......... God I'm old... :(

After the year we've just had, nice to see the club's PR in such capable hands. Not just the original fuck-up, but the aftermath on here. I though Billyboy was bad enough, but "thrown in a sick wife"? Fucking hell.

Thrown in a LFC tuckbox and lashings of ginger beer and you've got a deal!

Or alternatively; "So Mr Evra you were called the n word over 10 times?" "Erm now that I've had time to think about the implications of it, and how implausible that sounds, no that's not true" "Never you mind Mr Evra, you feel free to rewind as much as you like and tell us what the greasy little bastard really did say so we can keep racism out of football".

We're back to probability, aren't we? It's a far more trivial throwback to what happened with Duckinfield in 1989. "They broke down the gate" "No, they haven't, we've just been round there and there's not a splinter out of place. You opened it" "Well yes, yes I did. My bad. Here's what actually happened". "Oh, okay then" NO! Not 'okay then' whatever happened to once bitten twice fucking shy and what else are you lying about? Chang's initial response was one of dismissive contempt, only to tell someone "oh yeah the season ticket thing was true - but that's the only thing he said that's true, honest" At some point credulity has to be suspended surely?

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I'm thinking of starting a letterbox clean-up campaign. Think I can tap him up for 300k?

White man speak with forked tongue.