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This has to go down as one of the worst weekends of football the Premier League has ever seen, with Saturday's offerings especially appalling. Chelsea had the weekend off as a reward for providing the nation with an unexpected dose of Friday night Comic Relief, and their absence - combined with the fixture list 'randomly' throwing up two 'Super Sunday' style fixtures in our game with the Mancs and the North London derby - made for a not so 'Super Saturday'. The early game saw Manchester City taking on the Hull City Bengals or whatever daft name they're currently using. I expected Pellegrini's side to wipe the floor with Fathead's men, but to be fair Citeh were largely unimpressive and Steve Bruce's newly promoted side gave a really good account of themselves before losing 2-0. The scoreline didn't tell the story of the game as in the opening stages Hull were rampant and could easily have been a couple of goals ahead. Aluko cut through the middle of the City backline like a hot knife through butter but then rolled his shot inches wide with Hart beaten, whilst Graham had a goal correctly ruled out for a marginal offside. City improved after the break and Negredo eventually headed them in front, or should that be Soldado? No, I was right the first time, it's Negredo. I'm having to second guess myself every time with those two at the moment. I rarely, if ever, watch La Liga and to be honest if you put both of them in front of me now I'd have no idea which one is which, but give me a couple of weeks and I'm sure I'll have it down. *note to self. Soldado - Spurs, Negredo - Not Spurs City's second goal came courtesy of another free-kick from Yaya Toure. Impressive, if he keeps this up he may one day go on to be almost as good as his big brother. He's like the Phil to Kolo's Gary. Wait, did I just compare Kolo with Gary frigging Neville? Kinell, that's the worst thing I've done since that 'crop dusting' incident with the Argentina fans I mentioned in one of last year's round ups. The 3pm games provided virtually nothing in the way of goals or entertainment. Absolute Zlatan they were, especially in South Wales where Cardiff picked up another point by holding Everton to a drab goalless draw. Baines should have had a pen but was instead accused of diving, whilst Fellaini should have won it at the end but hit the post from close range. Everton still without a league win under Martinez, although they have yet to taste defeat yet either. Newcastle had Yohan Cabaye back in their squad for the home game with Fulham. He was greeted by the home fans with a mix of boos and applause when he appeared as a 2nd half sub. It was one of Cabaye's fellow countrymen who grabbed the headlines though, well let's face it, chances are it's gonna be when Newcastle are involved. Hatem Ben Arfa was quality all day though and deservedly got the winner four minutes from time with a brilliant individual strike. He's one of the most talented players in the country when fit, the problem is he's not often fit. He's clearly too good for Newcastle in their present state, which may explain why Pardew was suspiciously less than complimentary about him afterwards. It smacked of downplaying how good he is in case someone tried to sneak in with a late bid before the window closed. Ben Arfa is ace though. Watching this got me thinking, remember all that crap about Pappis Cisse and the whole 'great Newcastle number 9s' thing? He was getting all that hype after his first fucking game! Reminds me of when Nigel Clough was crowned the new King after his two goal debut for us against Sheffield Wednesday. I'm ashamed to admit I was absolutely convinced we'd win the league after coming out of Anfield that day. Fucking hell. Elsewhere, Stoke won away at West Ham. I admit I raised my eyebrow a little at that scoreline, the Hammers are relatively strong at home and Stoke are relatively crap wherever they play, but 'Useless' now has two wins under his belt unfortunately. A free-kick from Jermaine Pennant was enough to get them the win, and they deserved it too as West Ham were completely toothless. Goals from Pennant are rarer than rocking horse turd, so as bad as they were the Hammers can still consider themselves a little unfortunate as he probably won't score again this season. Southampton and Norwich met at Carrow Road and the only thing worse than the game was Motson's commentary on it. At one point he was talking, and then suddenly interrupted himself mid sentence to tell himself he was talking shite about a penalty incident. It was bizarre even by his standards. "One of those situations where the player is so close to the incident that I don't think he could have avoided…OH! it's clearly hit his arms, you're talking shite again you doddering old goat" I'm paraphrasing, that may not be entirely accurate but it's close enough. Nathan Redmond scored the only goal of the game and he was the game's stand out performer. A lot of big clubs looked at him when he was at Birmingham, I think we were one of them actually. Norwich took a chance on him and he's playing well for them. Good to see he's got rid of the horrendous haircut he was sporting in the opening weeks of the season too. Moving on to the evening game, and I only knew four players in the Palace team that played host to Sunderland. And I can't believe they've still got that Speroni jabroni in goal. Was he not bad enough last time they were in the top flight? And wasn't he crap at Reading too? *quickly checks wiki* No, I'm confusing him with that other loser Federici, he's absolutely terrible him. Speroni probably is too unless he's improved massively since the last time Palace were in the top division. Still, at least he didn't wear dirty arl grey tracky bottoms like that other chump they had back then. Sunderland started with Connor Wickham and some Korean lad I've never seen before leading the line. We'll probably never see him again after this one, he embarrassingly shit out of a free header in front of goal prompting Di Canio to rip him to shreds on TV afterwards, saying "I can't change the heart of my players". He subbed him at half time too. Immediately after the game Palace announced they'd signed a young player by the name of Jack Hunt, which co-incidentally is pretty damn close to what Di Canio was calling Ji after he bottled that header. Whilst I'd say the lad deserves all he gets, footballers generally don't take kindly to being mocked by their manager in public and if Di Canio hasn't lost the dressing room already it's only a matter of time before he does, despite his desperate attempts to fill the squad with his fellow countrymen in the hope they'll have his back. He has even signed Andrea Dossena, I couldn't believe that when I heard. I know they were desperate for a left back, but has he never watched the Doss play? He can't defend and milk turns quicker than he does. Sunderland look even worse than they did last year, and they only just stayed up by the skin of their teeth last year. Will Di Canio even make it to Christmas? Can't see it myself. Palace won the game 3-1 and fully deserved it too. Gabbidon scored early doors when the ball fortuitously hit him on the leg following a corner and found it's way into the net. My boy J-Punch was inches away from making it two, as was Palace skipper Jedinak who curled just wide after being released by a wonderful ball by Puncheon. That's my boy that is. Sunderland sub Fletcher headed them level with a typically brilliant finish. He's a great finisher and I do wonder how he'd fare if he was at a top club, as in theory the more chances that are created for him the more goals he'll score, right? How would he do at a Spurs or Arsenal for example? He'll probably never get the opportunity to play for a Champions League side, but he's better than a lot of players who have. Like John O'Shea for example. He conceded a pen and got himself sent off in the process, costing Sunderland the game. Gayle converted the spot kick and in stoppage time O'Keefe lashed in a brilliant third after being set up by…. yep, you guessed it, Puncheon. Great bit of business from Holloway that, bringing in my boy. Southampton will live to regret it though, mark my words. Based on what I've seen so far, all three newly promoted sides don't look to be much worse than the likes of West Brom, Sunderland and Newcastle. It could be another very interesting year at the bottom of the table. Going back to Chelsea's Super Cup defeat for a second, I know it's 'only' the Super Cup, but still, I bloody loved this. Any time Chelsea suffer any kind of disappointment is cause for celebration, and this was fucking hilarious. Remember when Benitez won this trophy with Inter and Mourinho scoffed at him, (correctly) pointing out the only reason Inter were playing in it was because he'd won the Champions League with them the season before? Well the roles were reversed here, it was Mourinho looking to vulture a trophy that Benitez had put him in position to win, and I bet Rafa almost pissed his pants when Bayern scored that last gasp equaliser. Along with everyone else who isn't a Chelsea fan of course. The funniest thing was 'the Special One' being a smart arse and sending Mongo on for the last few minutes, either to try and shut up shop or to maybe spare his captain the embarrassment of lifting yet another trophy in full kit and shinnies despite not playing any part in the winning of it. It backfired when Bayern scored with the last kick of the game to force pens, and when Lukaku's lame penalty was saved Terry's attempts at changing into a Bayern kit to try and lift the trophy were foiled when he couldn't get the shirt over his giant forehead. Chelsea have his shirts specially made with a widened neckhole you see. Onto Sunday, and Arsenal edged out Spurs thanks to another smart little finish from Oliver Giroud. Spurs looked seriously uninspiring again, they've been involved in three 1-0 games now and scoring goals has been an issue for them as the only ones they've managed have been pens. They've scored plenty in Europe though, and they have some top class players in their ranks so I'm sure they'll be fine in the long run. Lamela and Eriksen are interesting signings, but Bale won them an awful lot of points last season before he went on strike and took to walking around the streets of London looking like a giant novelty condom. He was unveiled at Madrid earlier this week amidst the kind of media frenzy he hasn't experienced since 'Escape from the Planet of the Apes' when him and his bird showed up in America in a spaceship. Also on Sunday, Swansea got their first win on the board with a 2-0 success at the Hawthorns. Left back Ben Davies hit a cracker to open the scoring and then Pablo Hernandez wrapped it up in the 2nd half. West Brom look to be in trouble already, they've got no-one to score goals having lost Lukaku and Odemwingie and bizarrely they then tried to sell Shane Long to Hull only for it to fall through. To make matters worse they went and splashed out £6m on Victor fucking Anichebe!! You can't score goals and that's your answer? Fucking hell! Apparently they bought Sessegnon from Sunderland as well. Two years ago he'd have been a good signing, but he's done very little since then and only scored 5 goals last season. Tell you what though, it's a good job I've got deadline day to write about or this round up would be almost as dull as Saturday night's MOTD. People complain about Michael Owen and Robbie Savage, but to be fair not even the hilarious comedy duo of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker could have made that entertaining this week. Now 'Transfer Deadline Day' on the other hand, that was a different matter altogether. Mike Ashley must be thanking his lucky stars for Manchester United this week, as the bungling antics of Moyes and United's new Chief Exec meant that no-one outside of the North East seemed to notice that Joe Kinnear has actually managed to do even less than everybody expected. I'd have thought he'd have at least managed to sign one or two deadbeats from whatever London backwater he'd been boozing in, but no. They signed no-one. So, what exactly is Kinnear being paid for then? Completely bizarre appointment that, and it's looking even more bizarre now than it did when it happened. And it was VERY bizarre when it happened. Pardew was roped into putting a statement out on the club website stating that they didn't sign anyone because the players that were in their price range were inferior to those already at the club, and because they did most of their business in January. So again, why exactly has Kinnear been hired again? Loony Toon. The other big losers of this transfer window were unquestionably the Mancs. Who are they missing more, Alex Ferguson or David Gill? Moyes is so out of his depth it's just magnificent, I mean I knew he would be but I thought he'd at least manage to blag his way through for a few months before United fans realised they'd been sold a fugaze, but no, he couldn't even manage that, the small time little shitkicker. I haven't seen anyone drowning so badly in a new job since Mr Burns fired Smithers and gave his job to Homer Simpson. Moyes might be even less equipped for his new position than Homer was. It's not all on him of course, that new chief exec of theirs makes Rick Parry and Christian Purslow look like Peter Robinson. United's attempts at getting deals done this summer have been side splittingly funny. They've been linked with every midfielder on the planet but couldn't get any, and in the end Kenwright pulled Moyes' pants down - metaphorically this time - and made him pay £5m more for Fellaini than he'd have needed to had he met the terms of the Belgian's buy out clause before it expired. That deal almost beggars belief. For a start, Fellaini is shit. Yeah, that's right, I said it. Most people have thought it at some point, some still do but given that we're constantly told by people in the game about how great he is, it's only natural that most of us end up thinking "Well I don't see it, but I suppose he must be good if everyone else keeps saying he is". Well guess what, he's not, you're right to think he's crap because that's what he is. When a player's biggest attributes are having good chest control and 'being a nuisance' then he really isn't all that as far as I'm concerned. I mean, what is he? Where would you play him? He's not really a midfielder, as all he does is stand in the middle and elbow people. He's not really a striker, as all he does is stand in the box and elbow people. In what universe does he improve United's midfield or attack? In Moyes' universe, that's where. The funny thing is though, even Moyes didn't really want him THAT much, as if he did he'd have met the buy out clause and then been able to integrate him into his squad over pre-season and have him available for the first three games. He showed what he really thought of him though when he offered the Blues a pittance for him not long after the clause expired. The chief exec can be blamed for all the other deals they fucked up, but the Fellaini debacle is all on Gollum. You have to say that Everton played a blinder here though, they held firm until the last minute, eventually forcing Fellaini to hand in a transfer request and forgo any 'loyalty' payments owed to him, and more importantly, waiting until United's desperation reached the point that they paid way over the odds to avoid being left with nobody. And when that happened, the Blues then went bang bang bang and brought in three players that will make them a far more effective team than they were with Captain Elbows and Alehouse Vic (who they somehow got £6m for). I was gutted they got Lukaku though. He's a beast and he'll instantly make them a much better side. I don't know whether James McCarthy is worth all the hype he gets, he's one of those players everyone seems to think is boss but who I've never really paid that much attention to. We'll find out now. And finally there's Gareth Barry, the fat arsed crab. I'm made up he's at Everton now as it gives me a better reason to hate him other than the whole 'not being Xabi Alonso' thing. Going to back to United though, the way they spectacularly ballsed up the deal for the Bilbao lad was just brilliant, and they also managed to make a pig's arse out of a deal for Real Madrid's Coentrao too apparently. This kind of shit wouldn't have happened under Gill, but his replacement has had a nightmare summer. The fella is called Edward Woodward, which just adds to the 'LOL' factor. He's hardly 'the Equaliser' is he? I used to love that show when I was a kid, and the name Edward Woodward always makes me smile as it reminds me of a boss joke I occasionally used to chat up birds back when I was alive. "Why are there so many 'D's in Edward Woodward? Because he'd sound pretty stupid if his name was Ewar Woowar" Hahahaha boss tha! You'd be surprised at how poor a strike rate I had with it though, we're talking Danny Welbeck levels of paucity. I put it down to women and their crap sense of humour…. It wasn't all bad for the Mancs I guess, they did keep hold of Rooney so they'll probably try and market that as being 'like a new signing'. Until January comes and insecure little Wayne gets needy again and Mourinho starts winding them up through the media and it starts all over. Rooney is sidelined at the moment of course with a horrific cut to his head. It's pretty gruesome, it looks like someone has taken a red marker pen to a potato. I could easily make a gag here about Rooney, bad gash, not for the first time etc but where's the sport in that? Like shooting fish in a barrel. Theo Walcott clearly isn't averse to taking the open goal though, describing Rooney's face as 'looking like something from a horror movie'. I'm assuming he followed it up with 'and it's even worse now with that massive cut'. According to reports, the injury was delivered by the boot of Phil Jones in training. An 'accidental' collision they called it. Yeah right. Allow me to refer you back to something I wrote at the back end of last season… "Jones is like the big, dumb kid who'd get picked on in school, but you'd have to be careful not to push him too far because if he lost his temper he'd do some real damage. Taunting these kids carried an element of risk, chances are you'd be fine but if he snapped and managed to get hold of you, it could get ugly as they invariably possessed what was referred to back then as 'mong strength'. As you can tell, political correctness wasn't big on school playgrounds back in the 80s. I remember back when I was in 1st year seniors, there was a huge ginger haired kid with glasses who had cruelly been dubbed 'Beaker' after the character on the Muppets. Now this cat was big, he was over six foot tall when he was 12, but he was generally easy going unless his temper snapped, in which case look out. Anyway, one day some lads were winding him up, taking the piss out of him to try and get a 'legger' from him. He may have been big, but wasn't the quickest unless he was in open spaces so generally he couldn't catch any of his tormentors as long as they avoided the playing fields. Except for this one day, when one of them tripped when climbing through a hole in the fence and got a size ten boot to the head for his troubles." I think we all know what happened here. Rooney was getting a 'legger' off Jones and got caught, didn't he? 'Accident' indeed. For a while there Arsenal were also looking like they'd be massive transfer window losers, but then they made a big splash by signing the brilliant Mesut Ozil. I'm a bit deflated about this, I love Ozil, he's class. He ain't worth £45m though, and unless he can play in goal or at centre half how is he going to solve Arsenal's problems? He's a luxury signing, pure and simple, but everyone loves a bit of luxury, right? I wish we had him. Finally, Mourinho actually had the nerve to criticise other clubs for spending too much money. This despite Chelsea spending over £60m in what would be regarded as a very quiet summer by their standards. They only spent £60m this summer because they've spent about £300m in the previous two years. He's got some balls on him, not that anyone will pull him up on it as 'he's good for the game' and 'box office', apparently. They loaned out about 50 players too, which begs the question just how fucking big is their squad? Still, it's good for us I suppose, given that they're basically just our feeder club these days. Dave

Having spent the last few weeks expressing concern over Liverpool's inability to make the signings they so clearly needed to compete for a top four spot, I'm happy to report that I'm a lot more relaxed after the business of the last couple of days. It's been a busy summer at Anfield. There's little point in discussing the players that have left in too much detail; if you disregard the retired Jamie Carragher then Pepe Reina and Stewart Downing were the only first choice players to be moved on. Reina had been flirting with Barcelona for months and the club needed to protect its own interests by signing a new keeper, and the only issue with Downing's departure was that no replacement had been signed. With Victor Moses coming in that's no longer the case. Most of the other departures were completely expected, although Fabio Borini leaving for Sunderland on a season long loan was a little surprising. That's a somewhat risky move from Liverpool's point of view as it leaves them slightly short of natural frontmen should Daniel Sturridge pick up an injury or Luis Suarez has one of his 'moments' again. The flipside is that the Italian desperately needs games and if he's not playing for Liverpool his transfer value can only plummet further. Whatever happens at Sunderland I'd be surprised if we saw him in a Liverpool shirt again. In terms of the players recruited, overall it's been a productive summer thanks to that late spurt to get over the finish line with three new players. Eight new boys have arrived, with at least two (possibly three and maybe even four) expected to be in Brendan Rodgers' best XI when everybody is available. Read the full article here.

Report by Dave Usher Wasn't bad that, was it? Beating the Mancs, three new signings sat in the stands watching, going top of the table with a 100% record, still yet to concede a goal and doing it all without our best player who now only has two games left to serve of his suspension. A far cry from where we were after three games a year ago, fourth from bottom with just one point to our name. We actually played much, much better in this fixture last season but lost the game. The referee played a huge part in that of course, but hard luck stories were a regular occurrence in the first half of last season. This year we've reversed the trend, winning games despite not being at our fluent best. They say winning is a habit, and it's one we now seem to be starting to develop. Rodgers pointed out after that since January we have now amassed more points than United, a stat that I'm sure will surprise a lot of people. Just as significant, we've now beaten them in a head to head encounter too. When it comes to games against Manchester United, often we find ourselves on the wrong end of a result despite having played very well. We regularly don't get what we feel we deserve from these games, and playing well is nice and all, but getting the points is nicer and over the years United have found a way to do that at our expense. It's actually quite rare that they impress in games against Liverpool, but they generally find a way to win them. Not this time. This time we beat them at their own game, getting our noses in front and then keeping them at arms length. They may have dominated the ball in the second half, but did they really do that much with it? I thought we defended superbly as a team, and much like the previous week at Villa the only complaint I'd have is that we didn't do enough with our opportunities to break out of our defensive shell and kill them off when the opportunity arose. The return of Suarez will surely help in that regard. Rodgers admitted last week that the second half performance at Villa Park was by design rather than a case of us simply just being forced back by the opposition. Lucas said more or less the same after this game, it's a deliberate tactical ploy to make it difficult for the opposition, and whilst I'm not generally in favour of that as it can often backfire, I'm willing to suspend my scepticism of it for the time being as I think it's more a case of Rodgers being pragmatic based on where we are in our development under him, as opposed to it be being a long term strategy. Too often last season we lost games despite being comfortably the better side. We were a bit of a soft touch at times and teams often didn't have to work particularly hard to score against us. In three games so far this year, that has most definitely not been the case. We've been dogged, resilient and extremely difficult to create clear chances against. United only had one really clear opportunity which Van Persie put wide late on. De Gea had even less to do than Mignolet in fairness, but then we had the lead and the onus was on United to press for an equaliser. The expected late onslaught never materialised, in fact Stoke probably gave us more problems in the closing stages than United did. Moyes' team had a lot of the ball, far more than he's ever been used to having at Anfield, which probably explains how happy he seemed afterwards. "Best we've played all season" he said, before hilariously adding "I could see why we are Champions today". The poor bastard seems to have taken that Taff's Tavern mural a bit too literally. "The boss who proves you don't need trophies to be a winner. But he is a winner". It would seem you don't need wins to be a winner either based on his comments after this one. United will feel they deserved a point as we were certainly no better than they were, but then we didn't need to be as we scored so early. If the game had been level at half time, who's to say we wouldn't have gone out and dominated the ball as we did against them a year ago, even with ten men? The bottom line is that they fell behind and then didn't do enough to get back into it. It was up to them to chase the game and force and equaliser and they couldn't do it. After a bright opening in which we took the lead, we seemed content to hold what we had and didn't attack with the kind of purpose and with the kind of numbers we normally would. I'd also credit United for that though, I thought defensively they were excellent, they let us have the ball in our own half but their pressing of the ball was relentless any time we got past the half way line. We didn't have much time in possession and it was difficult for both sides to create any openings. Sturridge had an early chance when great pressure by the tireless Henderson won the ball on the right and the loose ball fell to the in form striker. He advanced into the box and could have teed up Aspas but chose to shoot instead, and a defender made a block to concede a corner. Aspas wasn't pleased but in Sturridge's defence the pass wasn't a simple one and could easily have been intercepted by Ferdinand, so the shot was probably the high percentage play, especially for a man in the kind of goalscoring form that he's been in. From the corner, Agger got free and headed towards goal where Sturridge had got himself into a great position to glance the ball into the net from close range. Agger's face was a picture, initially he looked as if to say 'cheeky bastard stealing my goal', before realising 'hang on, we've just taken the lead against the mancs!' and charging off to join everyone else in mobbing Sturridge. Interesting to see Sturridge fighting everyone off as he wanted to go and celebrate with his manager. His career is thriving now and Rodgers deserves credit for the part he's played in that by giving Sturridge the opportunity to play. Sturridge deserves the bulk of the credit, that goes without saying, but Rodgers has put him in an environment that allowed him to thrive, and whenever Sturridge talks you can hear the little soundbites that Rodgers must be drilling into him every day. "Winning as a team", "it's not about individuals" "it's all about working hard for eachother" etc etc Sturridge wasn't even fit and hadn't trained since the Notts County game. He reckons he couldn't shoot properly because of the injury, but he put in another terrific shift helping out his midfield. Last year that wasn't always the case, sometimes his work rate was lacking a little but this season he's been brilliant in terms of that. He's becoming a real all round striker now, scoring all types of goals, creating them too and now he's added work rate to his game as well. And 16 goals in 20 games speaks for itself. Aspas is not really cutting the mustard alongside him yet, it's going to take some time for him to get up to speed I think. It's not a big deal though as he only needs to hold the fort for two more games and then Suarez is back. We may even see Moses come into the side at the Spaniard's expense, with Coutinho being freed up to play centrally. It's nice that Rodgers now has options all over the park, as for too long that hasn't been the case. I thought it was interesting that in the first half set pieces appeared to be the most likely avenue of scoring for both teams. Gerrard's deliveries were excellent, whilst United went close from a couple of set plays too. In open play not much was happening, with the intensity and speed of the game making flowing football almost impossible. Aspas was completely lost, it must have been a huge culture shock for him as he'll never have experienced anything like this before. Coutinho fared only slightly better, in the first half at least, but even he found it tough to play his normal game. In the first half especially United were getting everybody back into their own half when we had the ball. Even Van Persie would often drop in on the right wing, as all eleven United players got back behind the ball when they lost possession. It was difficult for us to find a way through and maybe in the end Rodgers just decided to change his tactics to play on the counter attack and try to draw United out a bit? They did come out more in the second half, but by and large our defence coped with whatever they tried to throw at us. The defence were magnificent all afternoon, with Agger and Skrtel completely owning Van Persie and getting right under his skin. The Dutchman was fortunate not to be sent off just before half time after an altercation with Skrtel. He'd already been niggling away at Agger and had been booked for a late lunge on the Dane. No real surprise, it's always a running battle when they face eachother. Agger has spoken in the past about Van Persie and his stray elbows, and it's clear there's no love lost between them. Skrtel doesn't seem to like him much either, although he appeared to do nothing to provoke the angry reaction and shove to the chest that could easily have resulted in a second yellow for the frustrated forward. Van Persie tried to justify his actions by claiming he'd been elbowed by Skrtel, but I was watching them at the time and Skrtel did nothing other than stand his ground as the cross came in. Van Persie then shoved him in the chest with both hands. The ref missed it but the linesman didn't, and neither did Gerrard nor Agger who both went to confront the Dutchman. Gerrard gave him plenty of verbals, calling him 'a fucking prick' amongst other things. I love it when Stevie gets in people's faces like that, it doesn't happen that often but it's ace when it does. Agger is always there whenever there's any aggro, and you can usually see Lucas chipping in with the odd comment or two as well. Andre Marriner opted to have a word rather than pull out a yellow card, which if I take my red tinted specs off was the right thing to do and sensible refereeing. With my red tinted specs on, however, he should have sent the snidy twat off. Half time arrived at a good moment for United as their discipline had completely gone. Carrick had been yellow carded, as had the odious Cleverley who went into the book for a scything lunge on Coutinho. Seconds earlier, the little Brazilian had backed into Phil Jones as he leapt for a header and the big dopey looking muppet came down awkwardly on an ankle. United wanted us to put the ball out of play and when we didn't Cleverley took the law into his own hands. Because you just know they'd have put the ball out in the same situation, obviously… Van Persie calmed down at the break and behaved himself in the second half, although Carrick could easily have walked after a late challenge on Aspas. Again, Marriner opted for a warning rather than a second yellow, and again, if I'm watching this as a neutral I'd probably applaud him for doing so, although I haven't seen a replay of the tackle yet and it may have been worse than I thought at the time. Chances were few and far between, but United's dominance of the ball made for an excruciating 50 minutes for Liverpool fans. I kept thinking it was only matter of time before their made their possession count, but then I looked at the clock and there were only ten minutes left and they'd actually done very little. Lucas and Gerrard broke up numerous attacks before they reached our defence, Agger and Skrtel dealt with anything that came their way whilst the full backs were very solid too. Then there's Henderson, who ran and ran and ran. He probably ran home after the game too, he never stops that boy. Mignolet had very little to do really. A few comfortable saves from shots that were straight at him, a somewhat more taxing stop from a deflected Nani shot that he parried to safety, and then finally he had to come out and make himself big when Van Persie was slipped through by Hernandez. The shot went wide, but when you watch it again Mignolet is right on him and there is very little room for Van Persie to squeeze a shot past him. As time ticked away we looked more and more comfortable, despite the loss of Johnson who hurt his ankle in making a courageous block on a rampaging Evra. Andre Wisdom came on and did a good job, even carrying the ball forward to the corner flag to waste some valuable time. Another substitute, Raheem Sterling, went close to killing them off deep into stoppage time when he stung the palms of De Gea and forced a corner that we took an age in taking, much to the frustration of Moyes. When it was eventually taken, Sturridge tried to be too clever and attempted to play the ball off a defender to win another corner, and succeeded only in putting the ball out for a goal kick and straight into the waiting arms of De Gea. Had there been another minute left, Sturridge would probably have copped an earful from his team-mates as well as the crowd, but thankfully time was up and Marriner blew the whistle as soon as the ball left the hands of the United keeper. A huge three points for us going into the international break, and whilst no-one is expecting us to stay at the top of the table for any extended period of time, we may just stick around there for longer than many expect as the run of fixtures we have presents a great opportunity to extend this winning run. That's usually when we trip ourselves up though, and that's what Rodgers needs to be drumming into his players now. It's all about the next game, don't look too far ahead or set any targets, just win the next game and move on and see where it takes us. There are still some concerns. For instance, the bench looked weak against United, especially in terms of attacking options. Suarez coming back obviously helps with that, as does the arrival of Victor Moses. I'm a fan of his, he's a good player and it's a pity he wasn't available for this game as I'd have been far happier with him coming off the bench than Sterling or Alberto for example. One of the big criticisms last season was that we could never beat anyone that was above us in the table (until we eventually defeated Spurs in March), and it seems that's still the case this season, albeit for a hugely different reason. Well if there's no-one above you, how can you beat them? We couldn't have asked for a better start in terms of results, and despite it not looking good in the transfer market for a while there, things have actually turned out pretty good for us in the end. Defensively we're now overflowing with options, and I wonder if we'll start to see Rodgers experiment with three at the back a bit more often? Sakho hasn't come to sit on the bench, but Agger is the vice captain and will presumably play more often than not, whilst Toure has been a revelation and Ilori will have to be given some playing time or what was the point in bringing him in? And what of Skrtel? He may actually leave today, it certainly wouldn't be a shock if he did, but what if he stays? This performance has to have put him back in the frame for a first team place. I'm assuming Rodgers was planning for him to leave as why else would you bring in two players in his position at a cost of £25m? If a deal for Skrtel doesn't materialise today and he's still here when the window closes, what then? He was the best player on the park for me in this game, he was absolutely fantastic. To play like that after coming back from injury is great credit to him, but even more so if he is actually leaving today, as if that's the case then presumably he'll have known about it. If he knew he was off and still put in a performance like that, then it speaks volumes about the type of fella he is. I don't know if this was his last game for us, but if it was then this is the way you want to go out and other players could take note. We've got a five point cushion over United now, I don't even know when was the last time that was the case. How long before the United fans begin to realise that Moyes is their 'Roy Hodgson'? In between lauding the S*n and calling us murderers the away end repeatedly sang "So Come on David Moyes, Play Like Fergie’s Boys. We’ll go wild wild wild! ". Yeah, so how's that working out for you then? Play like Fergie's boys? Not that easy when referees appear to have stopped favouring you. Der Fuhrer is no longer there, patrolling the touchline and intimidating officials, and that's two games in a row they've had penalty appeals turned down that Ferguson would have expected to get. The Welbeck tumble under the attention of Aspas was not a penalty, but it was more of a penalty than the one they got at Anfield last year. Perhaps the most telling moment of the afternoon was when Moyes was told to sit his complaining arse down by the fourth official. A Manchester United manager being put in his place like that? Ferguson will probably be on the phone to Mike Riley today demanding to know what the hell is going on. A final footnote to this one, as I was selling the fanzine outside, I noticed Kolo Toure drive past the front of the Kop about an hour before kick off. He had Victor Moses in the passenger seat and Mamadou Sakho was following in the car behind. Presumably Ilori was knocking about somewhere too, as Kolo was like some kind of bad ass pied piper. Anyway, he stopped, wound the window down and told a steward he was trying to get into the club car park. The steward informed him he'd missed the turning and would have to drive all the way around the ground again to get back in. How embarrassing. That steward clearly has no idea does he? Kolo Toure does not miss a turning. The car park was simply not where it should have been. Team: Mignolet; Johnson (Wisdom), Skrtel, Agger, Enrique; Henderson, Lucas, Gerrard, Coutinho (Alberto); Aspas (Sterling), Sturridge:

by Dave Usher for ESPN Bill Shankly once described full-back Gerry Byrne as the best player he ever managed. “He was hard and skilful every game,” Shankly said. “But above all, honest. And that is the greatest quality of all.” It was fitting therefore, that on the eve of what would have been the great man's 100th birthday, the Reds produced a performance overflowing with honesty, character and resilience. It was like having a team of Gerry Byrnes out there, and "Shanks" would surely have loved this. It wasn't flowing, it wasn't pretty and at times it was far from comfortable, but the joyous Kopites didn't care about any of that Sunday when the full-time whistle sounded on the 1-0 victory over Manchester United, sparking scenes of much jubilation on the pitch and in the stands. It's another win, another clean sheet, another winner from Daniel Sturridge, and Liverpool end the weekend looking down on the rest from the top of the Premier League table. Brendan Rodgers had opened up his first post-match news conference of the season by jokingly chanting "Liverpool, top of the league!" after his side defeated Stoke City in the early kickoff on opening day. After three wins on the spin, it was the supporters outside Anfield chanting it. Read the full article here.

written by Dave Usher Daniel Sturridge was one of the most highly rated teenagers in Europe when he broke through at Manchester City. He'd caught the eye against the Reds in the FA Youth Cup, scoring twice in the second leg of the final as City almost overturned a 3-0 deficit from the 1st leg at Anfield. With City having been taken over by Sheikh Mansouri, they went on a spending spree that convinced Sturridge his future was best served elsewhere, and he made a surprise move to Chelsea in 2009. Opportunities were limited at Stamford Bridge but he was a regular part of the squad and impressed when called upon. It was a loan spell at Bolton in 2011 when Sturridge really announced his arrival as a Premier League player, scoring 8 goals in 12 appearances for the Trotters. At Chelsea he was often used wide in a front three, but he craved the opportunity to play centrally. With Drogba around, that wasn't going to happen. Chelsea's £50m purchase of Fernando Torres pushed Sturridge further down the pecking order, although Andre Villas Boas selected him often on the right of the forward line. The departure of AVB and subsequent arrival of Roberto Di Matteo did Sturridge no favours and he found it difficult to force his way into the side. With the Reds desperate for a pacy forward to link up with Luis Suarez, Brendan Rodgers swooped for Sturridge in January 2013, and despite speculation that he'd employ him in one of the wide positions either side of Suarez, Rodgers was adamant that Sturridge would play centrally and that Suarez would be moved to accommodate him. Eyebrows were raised, as Suarez had been in incredible form as the main central striker, but Sturridge repaid the faith of Rodgers immediately by making a sensational start to his Liverpool career. He scored within minutes of making his debut at Mansfield, and he scored again the following week when coming off the bench at Old Trafford. Another goal followed in his next game, a 5-0 rout of Norwich at Anfield, and after drawing a blank at the Emirates he bounced back with a great goal and stunning performance away at former club Man City. He made it five goals in seven starts when he converted a penalty against Swansea Daniel STURRIDGE Date Of Birth: 01/09/89 Nationality: English Postition: Striker Squad Number: 15 Cost: £12m Club Hons (Lpool): Int Hons: England caps Other Clubs: Manchester City, Chelsea, Bolton Wanderers (loan)

by Dave Usher for ESPN This time last year Liverpool were loaning Andy Carroll to West Ham United without having secured a replacement. Speaking after a 1-1 draw against Hearts in a Europa League qualifier, Brendan Rodgers stated that with 24 hours left before the close of the transfer window he was confident that a new striker would be joining the next day, with Clint Dempsey the man he believed would be walking through the Melwood doors. As we know, it didn't happen and instead Spurs swooped in to land the USA international. Hindsight is, of course, 20-20, but it can be argued that it proved to be a lucky escape for the Reds; Dempsey didn't pull up any trees at Tottenham and was shipped out after one relatively undistinguished season at White Hart Lane. That's an extremely simplistic way of looking at it though, and it's not necessarily a view I subscribe to. Dempsey had scored a lot of goals for Fulham the previous season and he may well have repeated that feat had he been teamed up with Luis Suarez, or of course he may have been completely useless. We'll never know because the owners didn't sanction the transfer. Personally, I was never a massive Dempsey fan and he wouldn't have been high on any list of players I wanted to see at Liverpool, but that wasn't really the point. It was irrelevant what I or anybody else thought, the only thing that mattered was that the manager wanted him and believed he was getting him. He shipped Carroll out on the premise he would be replaced and considering Rodgers was in desperate need of a forward it seemed negligent that the club pulled the plug on it. Rodgers later admitted that he would not have sanctioned Carroll's departure if he'd known that no replacement would be forthcoming. Naturally, whenever last summer's transfer window is brought up it's always the name of Dempsey that springs to mind, but there was another striker Liverpool considered signing only to decide against completing the deal. Well, not for another six months anyway. After witnessing Daniel Sturridge plunder 15 goals in just 19 games since joining the club you can't help but wonder what might have been had he been recruited last August. He was available and Liverpool thought long and hard about it, but in the end Rodgers baulked at the then £15 million asking price due to concerns he had about the player's mentality and attitude. Read the full article here

Report by Dave Usher It's fair to say that didn't exactly go according to plan. When you include so many first choice players for a cup tie against lower league opposition, the last thing you want is three injuries and key players having to play for 120 minutes. We got through, yet it's almost unforgivable how difficult we made it for ourselves with a shocking, Billy Big Bollocks 2nd half attitude. My emotions are all over the place with this one. Happy to be through, gutted about Kolo, seriously pissed off with the arrogant, complacent 2nd half attitude that caused the unnecessary situation we found ourselves in, but also pleased with the character shown to dig in and come up with the goods when things went really pear shaped. At 2-2 and down to ten men, there was a very realistic chance we could lose this game, but the performance from that point on was excellent it has to be said and the players showed balls to get the job done. It was seriously irritating the way we let them back into it though. The first half went as you'd expect as Sterling gave us the perfect start with a positive run and shot to open the scoring with five minutes gone. The keeper should have saved it, but you have to give credit to Raheem. He was very bright early on and put a shift in all night. Rodgers had taken the opportunity to rest Agger but that plan went out of the window when Cissokho turned an ankle and had to come off after ten minutes. I was gutted about that, I know next to nothing about the kind of player Cissokho is and I was really looking forward to seeing what he could do in this game. A nightmare start for the lad but at least it doesn't seem too serious. Agger came on at centre half, Wisdom went to right back and Johnson moved across to the left. Not ideal but not the end of the world either, and it didn't affect the flow of the game too much as other chances came and went. Agger hit the post following a Gerrard free-kick and was also denied by a brilliant save from the keeper, whilst Sturridge curled a shot just wide and numerous other promising situations went to waste due to a poor final pass or decision. We should have had a penalty too when Ibe was bundled over. The second goal eventually arrived when Gerrard picked Sturridge out in the box with a superb pass, the striker killed it instantly and then drilled a shot into the corner. Terrific finish from a man who looks like scoring every time he takes to the field these days. The imperious skipper then hit the post after a surging, overlapping run into the box, and everything was going perfectly at that stage. I was hoping for one more goal before half time so Rodgers could then take the opportunity to rest either Gerrard or Sturridge, but at 2-0 he understandably couldn't afford to take any unnecessary chances. It would have been nice to put the tie to bed before the break and then give Borini a run out for example, but the lack of a third goal combined with the loss of Cissokho meant Rodgers needed to be careful with his remaining substitutions. Still, an early goal or two after the break would allow him to get his key players off, and considering how easy the first half had been there was nothing to suggest that wouldn't happen. Perhaps it was the ease of the first half that caused the horrible complacency that crept in after the break. Chances were still created, but not as many and the general play seemed a lot less intense than it had been. Sturridge disappeared for long periods, Ibe kept running up his own arse and Sterling got little joy out of the defence although he did work tirelessly to win the ball back any time he lost it. He was involved a lot even if it was not always good. County pulled one back with 25 minutes left when a deep free-kick was headed back across goal by an unmarked player, and the big striker got in front of Wisdom to head past a helpless Mignolet. I'd like to say it came against the run of play but they'd been building a bit of momentum in the five minutes or so leading up to it and this wasn't a total shock by any means. Rodgers was immediately forced into a second substitution when Allen did a hamstring and made way for Henderson, and the boss made his final change not long after when he sent on Coutinho to hopefully try and put the game to bed. The Brazilian came on for Alberto, who did ok without looking anything special. It was a decent enough debut from the young Spaniard but getting Coutinho on was the right thing to do. Unfortunately it took him about 20 minutes to get going, he was very disappointing in normal time I thought. The goal appeared to stun Liverpool out of their lethargy and Toure was denied by the post at the Kop end. Numerous other good situations were wasted and the longer it stayed at 2-1 the more obvious it became that County were going to get one more opportunity before the end. To their credit when it came they took it extremely well. It was a well worked goal from their point of view, but it didn't make for good viewing for Liverpool fans, especially the role played by Glen Johnson in it. With time running out Agger saw a goalbound shot deflected inches wide and Sterling wastefully shot off target after being superbly set up by Johnson. Extra time was the last thing we needed, but I wasn't unduly concerned until suddenly Toure pulled up lame and left the field on a stretcher. Now I was definitely worried. I assumed Henderson would be moved to right back with Wisdom going into the middle alongside Agger, and Coutinho dropping back into midfield with Gerrard. I certainly didn't expect to see Sterling moved to right back and if I'm honest I feared it was going to prove costly. Raheem was booked within minutes for a rash tackle and County clearly decided to try and target him and attacked down his side whenever possible. He coped with it extremely well to be fair. It took a few minutes for the players to settle down after going a man down, but eventually the shape came back into the side and the lead was regained when Coutinho sent Sturridge running into the box. I was screaming for him to commit the last man and get his shot away, and he did just that, the ball taking a nick off the defender's boot and squirming under the keeper's hand before trickling over the line. I think that's 15 goals in 19 games now for Sturridge, and hopefully he'll add to it this weekend as he's on fire. The win was wrapped up in some style when Ibe did well to hold the ball up and lay it into the path of Henderson who drove through the middle and 'megged the last man before slotting past the keeper. He made a real difference to our play when he came on and has surely played himself into contention for a place against United. He was outstanding I thought. The players deserve credit for not letting a drama turn into a crisis, but nevertheless it's incredibly frustrating that it came down to this and we now look like having to make do without big Kolo for a while. It was just so damned unnecessary, and Rodgers must be doing his nut. If you field a weakened side this kind of outcome is a risk you run, but with the team he put out the last thing he'll have expected was to face extra time. When Toure went off I felt sorry for Rodgers. He's done the right thing in taking the competition seriously and fielding a strong side, but the players almost blew it by starting to think they are 1970 Brazil or something. The game should never, ever have been allowed to go to extra time and if it hadn't, Toure would not have been injured and it would have been a successful night. I suppose you can sometimes point the finger at the manager when a team gets complacent, but it's unlikely that his half time team talk was along the lines of "hey lads, you've done the hard work, just go and stroll around for the second half and don't worry too much about getting another goal, because these are shite and can't hurt you". For me, this is on them, not him. He paid Notts County respect by picking such a strong side, any complacency that crept in did not come from the manager. Still, I'd like to think he laid into them a bit afterwards though. By all means praise them for the way they came through in the end, but this complacency needs to be stamped out before it becomes a big problem. We see this team play some fantastic football at times and when on song we look like we could take anyone. It was the same last season though, look good for a few games and they lay an egg because we get too cocky. Maybe this scare will serve as a wake up call. I hope so, because the biggest danger to us may actually be ourselves. We're a good team, just maybe not as good as they sometimes think they are. Team: Mignolet; Johnson, Toure, Wisdom, Cissokho (Agger); Allen (Henderson), Gerrard, Alberto (Coutinho); Ibe, Sturridge, Sterling:

Chelsea have slithered their way to the top of the early Premier League table after following up a fortunate victory over Villa last Wednesday with a dour goalless draw at Old Trafford on Monday night. I'll get to the turd sandwich served up by Mourinho and Moyes in due course, but that Villa game was just like old times, as a spawny own goal and a couple of highly questionable calls went in Chelsea's favour to give them three points they didn't deserve. Better get used to that, it was exactly the same when Mourinho was here last time and with Ferguson no longer around to keep the refs in line, you can be sure this absolute helmet will be trying to fill the void left by the unofficial head of refereeing's sudden retirement. Villa gave it their best shot at Stamford Bridge, but what can you do when Ivanovic is allowed to get away with elbowing Benteke in the face and then scores the winner within a minute? The ref actually saw it and booked him, but it's clearly a red card offence, not a yellow. Not just that, but in stoppage time Mongo decides to play volleyball in his own box and no penalty is given. Shocking effort from the match official, Kevin 'nobody's' Friend. Poor Villa got screwed, but Mourinho generally gets his way when it comes to referees and this certainly won't be the last time it happens. Onto the weekend's games now, and I may as well start at the Pit where the natives had been gearing themselves up for something special to celebrate their new manager's first home game in charge. The 'Martinez March' had been causing something of a storm in Evertonian circles on twitter in the lead up the game, as the organisers revealed that "A huge banner will be unveiled in Stanley Park at 1.30pm and handed over to supporters so that they can begin the ‘Martinez March’ to the stadium." Wow, sounds impressive. Us reds are no strangers to marches of course, we all remember the thousands who marched in regular protests against Gillett & Hicks, and presumably that was the inspiration for the Blues. In my mind's eye I envisioned hordes of them stomping through the Park on their way to Goodison, like the orc army descending on Helm's Deep in Lord of the Rings. And a 'huge banner' eh? Like those massive ones you often see in Serie A, those giant things that are passed around the stadium and take up half of the terrace? Cool. We've even had a few of those things ourselves, usually at cup finals. As it turned out, in typical Evertonian style there was a mass delusion of grandeur about the whole thing. The banner wasn't huge, which is probably for the best given that only about 30 people showed up to carry it, and half of them were kids as you can see in the photo above. I'm trying to decide what's the most shameful aspect of it all. That they had a 'march' for Martinez at all, or that having decided to do it that the turnout was then so damn pitiful. Actually you know what, the worst part is that they still took photos of it and tried to pass it off as some kind of success. Said it before but it's worth repeating, if Evertonians didn't exist, we'd have to invent them for our own amusement. #evertonarentwe You have to feel a little sorry for the Blues at the moment though, the way they are being shat on by Moyes from his new, lofty perch is pretty despicable really, especially the way they went way above and beyond the call of duty with the send off they gave him last season. Despite fucking them off before the end of the season to take the United job, they not only allowed him to see out the season in charge of Everton, but they cheered him to the wooden rafters on his Goodison farewell. And how does he repay them? By trying to sign their two best players on the cheap, and then belittling them when they refuse to just bend over for him. He's a piece of work isn't he? Fellaini had a £22m buy out clause in his contract that Moyes actually put there. That was his worth to Everton, and if Moyes wanted to buy him he could have done so at any point up until the end of July by offering that amount. Instead, he waited until the clause had expired and then offered £28m for Baines and Fellaini combined. Given that he'd already had a reported bid of £15m turned down for Baines earlier in the summer, that valued candy floss head at £13m. Now I'm no fan of Fellaini, but £13m??? Kinell. Even worse than the derisory offers he's made for them were his condescending comments when Everton refused. “If I had been Everton manager and Sir Alex Ferguson had come asking for Leighton Baines and Marouane Fellaini I’d have found it very difficult to keep them because I always felt that the right thing was to do what was right for the players." Firstly, you aren't 'Sir Alex Ferguson', and no amount of bitching about the fixture list, looking down your nose at other clubs and being a smug twat in interviews will change that. You're David Moyes, you've won fuck all, your biggest achievement is that mural in Taff's Tavern declaring that you proved 'you don't have to win anything to be a winner'. Secondly, just because you may have dropped your draws any time Ferguson so much as looked like he was even contemplating unzipping his fly doesn't mean that everyone else has to. And finally, you 'always wanted to do what was right for the player' did you? Really? I bet Joleon Lescott disagrees… "We cannot be getting offers a week or two to go before the end of the deadline. And the offers they made shows that we value Joleon Lescott far higher than they do. His head has been twisted and I cannot say the way things have been done is right, it is not how we do things at this club. But maybe their football club is different, I control things here, maybe it is not quite the same there." That was Moyes in 2009, bemoaning another club lowballing him with a bid for his best player so late in the window. I guess it's ok to do it now he's no longer the manager of 'little old Everton' and is now with one of the big boys. What an absolute dick. You know how in the movies when a nerd suddenly for whatever reason gets to hang out with the cool kids and acts really mean to his nerdy former friends to try and impress his new so-called pals? That's Moyes that is. He might be hanging with the cool kids now, but he doesn't fit in as no matter how much he tries to pretend otherwise, deep down he knows he's really a nerd. I've not even mentioned Everton's game with West Brom and there's a reason for that; it was crap. No goals and not much to talk about. Fellaini hit the post and Jonas Olsson showed once again what a massive twat he is with a sly off the ball elbow on Jelavic, but aside from that it was incredibly dull. To be expected though I think, Martinez has a completely different outlook to Moyes and it will take time to implement his ideas. Everton will probably have some bumps on the road until the players can adapt to what the new manager wants from them. Elsewhere on Saturday, Hull picked up their first three points of the season despite having to play for most of the game a man down against Norwich. The only goal came from the penalty spot when Michael Turner was harshly adjudged to have fouled Yannick Sagbo. Robbie Brady rolled in the spot kick and then Sagbo was sent off shortly after for one of those lame 'head butts' where you stick your head in someone's face and then push it forward a little to try and act hard. Fucking idiot, if you're going to get sent off at least make it for something worthwhile. Finally on this, with each passing year Steve Bruce is looking more and more like something I'd expect to see in "Mrs Brown's Boys" Honestly, put a dress on him and a head scarf (that banner the Blues had would do), and you could defo see him trotting off down the bingo with Mrs Brown. I'm somewhat shocked that Hull have three points on the board already, I'll be surprised if they manage 15 points all season to be perfectly honest. I felt the same way about Palace, but then they signed my boy Jason Puncheon on loan so they'll be safe now I reckon, as J-Punch almost single handedly kept Southampton up last year. Rickie Lambert may have played a small part too, but it was mostly my boy Jase. For a while it looked like Palace may collect a surprise win at Stoke after Chamakh's smart finish put them ahead at the Britannia. Unfortunately Hughes' side came back to win with a couple of 'typically Stoke' type goals. The second was especially bad from a Palace perspective, as Chamakh completely bottled a 50-50 with Huth in his own box. I doubt his team-mates will have been too thrilled about such shithousery, but as a fellow member of the striker's union I've got Chamakh's back on this. If I'm him, I'm saying to the rest of my team "Fuck y'all, I scored so I did my job. I'm not here to tackle, that's what you lesser talented oiks who play in defence and midfield are here for". Of course given Chamakh's woeful goalscoring record this kind of approach may come back to bite him in the arse every week for the next six months as he repeatedly fails to 'do his job', so maybe a simple 'Sorry boys, my bad' would be a more sensible course of action. The big disappointment for me on the Saturday was Arsenal winning at Fulham. Completely typical Arsenal behaviour that though. I've written numerous times about how Wenger always seems to get wins when he needs them the most and he's only gone and done it again. The pressure on him at the start of the week was massive after they lost to Villa having failed to buy anybody this summer. That CL qualifier in Turkey could have cranked up that pressure to intolerable levels, but they went and spoiled all of our fun by winning that and then seeing off Fulham comfortably as well. Podolski scored twice and Giroud got the other. They're both very good players, not quite top drawer but still very good. Giroud up top with Podolski, Cazorla and Walcott playing off him is pretty damn good. It's the other end of the pitch where they look poor, so what's with the interest in Higuain, Suarez and Rooney? They actually had Sagna at centre half in this game. If Wenger doesn't want to buy defenders or a holding midfielder, then Arsenal should use all that money they have to buy some new fans, as the ones they have are complete fucking gobshites. Any set of fans that sing "He score when he wants" about a player that doesn't either a) score 30 goals a season or b) score roughly once every five years, really need to have a word with themselves. Arsenal fans were singing that about Podolski, the fucking dolts. I never used to mind Arsenal fans so much, don't get me wrong, 'Gooners' have always been bad dickheads, but your average Arsenal fan has generally been ok based on my experience of them. This summer though the 'average Arsenal fans' have been conspicuous by their absence and the 'Gooners' have been everywhere, running their mouths and making a laughing stock of themselves. These losers genuinely thought they were getting Suarez in spite all of the evidence to the contrary. Even when they were completely slapped down by John Henry, they were still flooding the airwaves and spouting shite about how "He's just trying to drive the price up" and "the player wants Arsenal, there's nothing they can do". The funniest part was how they suddenly became Suarez's biggest apologists, when a couple of months ago they were calling him all the racist, cheating, biting scumbags under the sun. Bet they slaughter him when we play at the Emirates this season too. Whoppers. Moving on, West Ham and Newcastle played out a dull goalless draw at St James' Park. The TV highlights package consisted of a few corners and set pieces that didn't really come to anything, a backpass that almost beat the keeper and a goal that was about three yards offside. It looked like a truly woeful game of football, which often goes with the territory when Allardyce is involved. It's going to be another long old season for Newcastle by the looks of it, especially as Cabaye has now gone on strike to force a move through. Little rat. Elsewhere on Saturday, Sunderland were denied a precious away win by a late Southampton equaliser. It was another poor game, with both goals coming from set-pieces. Southampton somehow contrived to allow 5ft 5 Giaccherini to score a header from a corner, whilst right at the death the home side levelled when Fonte headed in from a free-kick. The biggest shock of the season so far - aside from Welbeck scoring twice on the opening day - came in South Wales on Sunday as Cardiff turned over Pellegrini's Man City side. What makes it even more surprising is that 'Citeh' actually scored first and somehow managed to blow it. Dzeko gave them the lead and it looked like they'd run away with it until Fraizer Campbell suddenly went all Van Persie on them, scoring twice and creating a third. Negredo scored a consolation in stoppage time but Cardiff held on for a memorable win. They've got their work cut out to stay up, but they may have a chance if they can make their home ground a fortress. As for City, well the former Champions had loads of possession and on another day would have won comfortably, but they have an extremely soft centre at the moment with Kompany and Nastasic out and Joe Hart looking increasingly ropey. They look really weak at centre half and they could definitely use someone with a bit of experience and leadership in there. Someone who can organise those around him and who will stand up to the physical stuff. I don't know, someone like, say, Kolo fucking Toure baby! In your face City. Also on Sunday, Spurs won 1-0 again, through a dodgy penalty again, converted by Soldado, again. Difficult to complain too much about this one though, it wasn't a penalty but they should have had a blatant one earlier. Both incidents involved Shelvey and Townsend. Jonjo got away with a clumsy foul in the first half and maybe that was on the ref's mind when the pair clashed again in the second half. Townsend simply ran by Shelvey and kicked his ankle on the way past before tumbling. It was either an accidental collision or blatant cheating by Townsend. Neither would surprise me, after all he's had plenty of time to learn the dark arts from Bale in training every day. Well, not quite every day it seems. Bale failed to show up for training on Tuesday and appears to now be 'doing a Cabaye'. Hilarious, all summer we've been hearing about how he's doing everything the right way, unlike that wrong 'un Luis Suarez. And yet for all the shit Suarez caused this summer, he never did this. Bale was doing everything the right way when things were going as he wanted, but as soon as his dream move hit a snag he threw his toys out of the pram and went on strike. Swansea have now lost both of their opening games, although the fixture list wasn't kind to them it should be said. I don't think they'll be as good as they've been in the last couple of seasons though, I can see them being rooted in the bottom half all season with the likes of West Brom, Sunderland and Norwich to be honest, but we'll see I guess. Last and most definitely least was the abysmal game at Old Trafford on Monday night. The clash between United and Chelsea had been hyped up all week and was highly anticipated. Even I got suckered in and decided to watch it. That's two hours of my life I'm not getting back. Absolute dogshit this was, so much so that I was sat there contemplating a potential title challenge from us purely on the basis of how shite both of these sides looked. I know, I know, but I bet I wasn't the only one. Awful crossing, passes straight into touch, aimless hoofs over the top, honestly this was just absolutely fucking brutal stuff. How can two teams with such attacking talent produce such a piss poor game? To find the answer to that you simply have to look in the respective dug outs. Mourinho was happy with a point and Moyes doesn't actually know how to try and win these big games. Gollum hilariously said beforehand 'I don't know about my record against Jose but someone told me it was pretty good.' His record reads: P8 W0 L5 D3. Who told him it was 'pretty good' then? His fan club at 'Taffs Tavern' perhaps? Kinell. He also said "It's different preparing a United team to face him (Mourinho) rather than an Everton one. With United, we are out there to win" And why would Everton not be out there to win then, Davie? Everton were the fourth best team in the country in 2005, yet he didn't feel like they could go out to try and win? The man is just an inherent shithouse isn't he? Astonishingly, the United fans greeted him with a banner proclaiming him as 'the Chosen One'. No really, they did. Seriously, they called him the 'Chosen One'. Look, I'm not making it up, they really did. It's not a joke, there's no punchline, they actually did have a banner calling David Moyes the 'Chosen One'. Ok fine, don't believe me then, see if I care. It happened though, I saw it with my own eyes. That banner actually makes the 'Martinez March' seem almost acceptable in comparison. We got slated for not being more welcoming to Roy Hodgson when he took over, but this is taking it to the completely opposite extreme. The Chosen One!! David Moyes!! Have a word with yourselves, you manc scrotes. Moyes elected to start Rooney despite all the crap that's been going on with him and Chelsea. When asked about it beforehand, he claimed he hadn't even given a second's thought to any of that when he picked his team. Yeah, of course you didn't. Curiously any time Rooney touched the ball his name was chanted by both sets of fans. I'm not sure who I'm more surprised at, United fans for backing some scouse twat that wants to leave, or Chelsea fans for backing some scouse twat they've got no chance of signing. Do we actually even know why he wants to leave? All summer I've been reading about him wanting out of Old Trafford, but I have no idea why. It can't just be down to Moyes, he wanted out even before they appointed that bum. So what's his beef? It can't be money as I read somewhere he's on 230k a week at United, I was blown away by that as I had no idea he was getting that kind of wedge. To his credit he went out and put a proper shift in, deservedly getting the man of the match award - not that he had any real serious competition for it as this was genuinely like watching a League Two game. Mourinho was in full on sneak mode afterwards, pretending to be complimentary to United by calling the fans 'special' for 'supporting a player that wants to leave'. He also said the only reason Chelsea have been in for him is because he's been encouraging them. "The person that started the story has to finish the story. For the good of everyone, it is time to finish the story. "If you look at a manager like me, a club like us and the people who work at the club with me, we are not silly enough to try to get a player from a big club that doesn't want to sell. We are not silly enough to try something if somebody didn't start it. If he wants to leave he has to say - or if he has decided now he doesn't want to leave any more then he has to say." This whole thing is just bizarre. United have taken the same stance we did with Suarez, and Chelsea are doing an Arsenal in refusing to take 'no' for an answer. Let's face it though, there's no way Rooney is going to leave United. It's like I've said before, he's a right needy little shit is Wayne. United is Colleen, and Mourinho is some bit on the side he's been stringing along to make himself feel wanted. He's not leaving Colleen though, not unless she dumps a suitcase full of his clothes on the front lawn and changes the locks on the doors. I think Jose is finally starting to see that. As for the game, nothing happened except for some stray elbows providing various talking points. First, De Bruyne went into the book for using his chin to smash into poor Van Persie's elbow. Shocking from the Chelsea youngster, he could have killed him. Secondly, Lampard's elbow blocked a shot in the area but United's penalty appeals were waved away by Martin Atkinson. A lot easier to say 'no penalty' when it's Moyes patrolling the touchline rather than 'Der Fuhrer'. And thirdly, Patrice Evra is so unpopular that even his own team-mates can't resist an opportunity to take him out, as Vidic nailed him with a pearler of a forearm smash to the throat that left the full back requiring lengthy treatment. It's rare to see United happy to settle for a point at home and not go throwing on extra forward players to try and win the game. That's the Moyes effect for you right there. Anyone expecting them to completely fall off a cliff after Ferguson left is kidding themselves though. Those United players have been winning for so long and have had that mentality drilled into them by Ferguson for so many years that not even Moyes can fuck that up straight away. It's going to take a bit of time to make his own mark on the team and make them as average as he is. Dave

by Dave Usher for ESPN The cup competitions are infinitely more important to Liverpool's supporters than to the club's hierarchy these days. That was apparent when Kenny Dalglish was sacked after winning one domestic cup and narrowly losing the final of the other. The club even went as far as to say that 'the King' would still have been overthrown even if he'd managed to win both finals. That was at odds with how most fans felt, as despite finishing a disappointing 8th in the Premier League there was certainly no mass clamour from the Kop for Dalglish to be replaced. Generally if a Liverpool manager wins a trophy that buys him at least another season, especially when he also happens to be the club's greatest living servant. The club clearly saw it differently, with Ian Ayre stating: "It doesn’t matter how many cups you win. Ultimately you’ll fail, because if you don’t have that sustainable revenue stream that comes from playing at the highest level it will be more and more difficult to compete." Technically he's right of course, but Liverpool fans are never going to accept that lifting trophies 'doesn't matter'. Winning silverware is the staple diet that Kopites have been brought up on. Whether it's Wembley, Cardiff, Paris, Rome or Istanbul, such glorious occasions are the memories that stay with us as we grow old and grey, or in some cases older and greyer. Those are the tales that we will regale our grandkids with, not bland little ditties about 'that year we sneaked into fourth place on the last day of the season' that will bore the poor little blighters rigid. Read the full article here.

Daniel Sturridge says not putting pressure on himself has been the key to his impressive start to the season and that he's completely bought into the manager's 'team first' philosophy. Speaking to LFCTV after scoring the only goal in Saturday's 1-0 win at Villa Park, Sturridge revealed: "I'm going out there to enjoy myself. I don't put pressure on myself to score goals. It's weird, I have things going through my head at night and I'm thinking about moves in the game and I can't get to sleep! I'm enjoying myself, this is what I've wanted to do my whole life and now I'm playing to just enjoy the game and not play with any stress." As well as the fantastic skill he showed in scoring his second winning goal in consecutive games, the striker caught the eye with his work rate and defensive contributions, something which he says is instilled in all the players by Brendan Rodgers. "I ended up in the right back position sometimes but that's what it's all about, we win as a team. The manager stresses it's not about individuals it's about working hard and playing as a team. It's about working hard on the training field and going into games knowing that if your mate needs help that you're gonna be there for him."

Report by Dave Usher Any win away from home in the Premier League is cause for celebration, no matter who you are. If you do it in style, great, but the important thing is that you come away with the three points as it's so easy to come unstuck if you're not on your game. I mean who'd have thought Man City would lose at newly promoted Cardiff? So I'll take a win at Villa whatever way we can get it. For 35 minutes this was a top quality performance from the Reds, and despite the closing stages of the first half and the entire second period not being anywhere near as impressive, it wasn't exactly 'the alamo' was it? For all their territorial dominance after the break, Villa only really seriously threatened an equaliser once. So for me the positives certainly outweigh any negatives, particularly as the biggest positive is another win combined with another clean sheet for Simon Mignolet, who showed his worth once again. Defensively it was a good display, but Villa had two clear openings through danger man Christian Benteke. On both occasions the big frontman sent powerful shots hurtling towards the corner of the goal, and both times his international team-mate Mignolet hurled himself across to make the save. It was the same last week against Stoke. He made a terrific flying save in the first half and then of course made the double stop from the penalty at the end. I don't think it's going overboard to say Mignolet (along with Sturridge) has been the main reason we've started the season with six points and not two. Villa are a bit of a handful these days. Paul Lambert is beginning to turn the ship around there and their front three are extremely dangerous, especially on the counter attack when they have space to play in. The pace they possess up top is enough to give any defence problems, they've already won at Arsenal and were screwed out of at least a point at Chelsea in midweek. So whilst our second half display was not of the level expected, winning at Villa Park is nothing to be sniffed at. For 35 minutes Liverpool completely bossed this game, it looked incredibly easy and Villa didn't get anywhere near us. The passing and movement was superb, Villa were chasing shadows for most of the half and will have been relieved to only have been one goal behind at that stage. It wasn't so much that we created a deluge of goalscoring opportunities, in fact considering the almost total domination of possession it's probably fair to say the Reds didn't do enough with it. It looked like we had the game completely under control though, the crowd had been taken out of it and it seemed like only a matter of time before the second goal arrived, and when it did that would surely be game over for the home side. The one goal we did score was a work of art. Sturridge began the move out on the left wing when he collected a crossfield ball. He was forced backwards and played the ball back into midfield before just meandering towards the box. Enrique then played the ball into the feet of Coutinho but Sturridge gave him a shout to leave it. The ever alert little Brazilian did just that and Sturridge did the rest, showing great footwork and composure to somehow collect the ball, sidestep a defender, take it round the keeper and then beat the two defenders on the line with a cute finish. It was brilliant, for a second I thought he'd taken one touch too many and the chance had gone, but when you watch it from behind the goal if he'd taken the shot on his right foot and gone low, there were two defenders back to clear it. By waiting the extra second and steadying himself before using his left foot to lift it into the roof of the net, he took the two defenders on the line out of the equation. Such a great finish that. Since he's arrived at Anfield his goals per minute record is incredible. He's not even fully fit at the moment either. Failing to build on Sturridge's goal has to be a little concerning, but in a perverse way it was also encouraging. You can't win every game handsomely, sometimes it gets hairy and you need to dig in and grind out the result. We've done that twice already, when it was something we didn't really have in our locker last year at all. If we can make it a habit of turning draws into wins we'll be much better placed when the points are tallied up at the end of the season. Of course it would have been much more preferable if we'd continued to play with the swagger we started with and swept Villa away with a tsunami of flowing football, but if that isn't possible then the next best thing is to just win the damn game and then question what went wrong performance wise afterwards. The warning signs for the second period were already present before the second half even got under way, as Villa had began to come back into it in the minutes before half time. Benteke had a curling shot saved by Mignolet and Weimann had an effort deflected inches over the bar. Until then, the home side had barely even got near Mignolet. He must have touched the ball about twice in the opening half hour, such was Liverpool's dominance. Sturridge looked sharp, Coutinho carried a threat and Henderson was getting himself into the box regularly (the ball rarely found it's way to him, but to his credit he was usually in there). The game seemed to pass Aspas by a little though I thought. It wasn't so much that he was poor, but he certainly wasn't involved as much as we needed him to be and I couldn't really tell what he was supposed to be doing. I was hoping we might see Sterling brought on at half time to allow Coutinho to move central, but Rodgers resisted the temptation to change it and Aspas barely got a kick after the break, as Villa suddenly began to dominate possession and we seemed to be pushed back into our own half. It was the polar opposite of what we saw in the opening period. Interestingly, Rodgers commented afterwards that it had a been deliberate ploy to sit deep and not press the ball high up the pitch because he didn't want give Villa's forwards any space to run in behind us. I don't have an issue with that, and in terms of stifling their forward players and closing down the space they wanted to play in, it was a roaring success. Where it fell down was that we couldn't keep the ball ourselves and we completely lost control of the midfield after the break. That in itself needn't have been a problem; if we were set up to play on the counter then keeping the ball isn't that important, it's what you do on the break with the opportunities you have that counts. We did nothing. Sturridge was isolated and in fact spent as much time defending as attacking, occasionally even dropping in to help Johnson at right back. He's clearly not match fit yet, and said himself afterwards that he's fortunate to actually be playing as he wasn't even supposed to be fit this soon after his ankle injury. With all the tracking back he was doing it was understandable perhaps that he wasn't always razor sharp in his attacking play as the game wore on, but he was still responsible for the only two decent attacks we mustered in the second half. Coutinho faded too, in no small measure due to some rough treatment he received from Villa right back Lowton who had a couple of cheap shots at him and was eventually booked for a nasty late lunge at the little wizard's ankle. With Aspas becoming increasingly invisible Rodgers eventually made a change, but rather than introducing Sterling, he opted to send on new left back Aly Cissokho to play in front of Enrique to shore up that side of the field. Joe Allen was later brought on for a limping Coutinho, as Rodgers went into full on 'hold what we have' mode. It's rare to see the Reds boss adopt this approach, he's very much a 'front foot' kind of manager usually, but he obviously felt discretion was the better part of valour on this occasion. For all Villa's territorial dominance in the second half, they only managed to create one real opening when Agger's weak header was lobbed back into the path of Benteke, who lashed a half volley towards the near post corner of the net. Mignolet flung out a left hand and pushed the ball away for a corner and that was as close as Villa came to getting back into it. I actually watched this game with my brother-in-law who is a season ticket holder at Sunderland. He credits Mignolet with keeping them up last season, and he kept saying to me throughout the game that Villa wouldn't score because Mignolet will keep out whatever they throw at him. He says he's not great on crosses but in terms of shot stopping he's the type of keeper that will win you points by making saves you don't expect a keeper to make. I'm starting to see his point, as some of the saves he's made up to now have been from the kind of shot where if it goes in, you find yourself saying "it was right in the corner, keeper had no chance". Huth's shot last week, the penalty, the follow up, Benteke's two efforts in this game… if any of those had gone in would we have pointed the finger at Mignolet and said he should have saved it? I doubt it, but he saved all of them and we won both games because of it. Of course it's not just down to Mignolet, Toure has been an absolute colossus too and he dealt with Benteke about as well as you could possibly expect. The big Belgian has been in great form so far this season but Toure was in almost total control of him but for that one turn and shot in the first half (and even then I thought Toure could have been awarded a free-kick as Benteke backed in to him as he went for a header). Gerrard and Lucas played their part in front of the defence too, closing down the space and winning countless tackles and interceptions. The skipper was tremendous all game, but Lucas had some uncomfortable moments in the second half and was caught in possession a few too many times for my liking. Agger had some shaky moments too, it wasn't his finest hour but I'm not unduly worried about him, I'm sure he'll settle down soon. Sturridge had a late claim for a penalty when he chased down a short backpass and beat Guzan to the ball only to be brought down by the keeper's outstretched hand. Mark Clattenburg waved away the claims, however, indicating to Sturridge that the keeper got the tiniest touch on the ball. Replays showed that he did indeed get a faint touch. Sturridge got there first, but the keeper did get a slight touch on the ball before sending the striker tumbling. Whether through luck or good judgement, the referee got it right but it was an incredibly close call. It's ok though, we'll save any penalty decisions we might get until next weekend thank you very much. That game against Moyes & co can't come quickly enough now, we go into it with a 100% record and are still to concede a goal. Compare that with the situation we were in when we faced them last season, when despite having played well in some games we went into that clash with United still looking for our first win, and despite playing them off the park - even with ten men - we ended up losing. A year ago we were losing pretty, so if we can now occasionally win ugly then you won't find me complaining, as to be a successful team you have to be able to grind out those 1-0 wins when it may seem like it's not your day. We should go into that game next week extremely high on confidence, and if we could go into it with a new player or two in the squad that would help massively too. Star man was a toss up between Toure, Gerrard, Sturridge and Mignolet. I'm going for big Kolo, largely because of the mental scars I still have from what Benteke did to us last season at Anfield. Toure succeeded where Skrtel failed, so he's my star man. Team: Mignolet; Johnson, Toure, Agger, Enrique; Henderson, Lucas, Gerrard, Coutinho (Allen); Aspas (Cissokho), Sturridge:

by Dave Usher for ESPN One of the keys to being a successful team is mastering the art of grinding out 1-0 wins. No matter how good a team are, it's impossible to play well every week and the teams at the top end of the table are there because they can usually find a way to win, irrespective of their level of performance. It's a trait that has been notable by its absence in Liverpool for several years, so whilst the win at Villa Park was far from being a classic, there's something particularly pleasing about it; this time last year Brendan Rodger's side would have been unlikely to have escaped with three points. In fact, this time last season the Reds were dropping two points at home to then champions Manchester City, despite producing a fantastic performance. It was a travesty Liverpool didn't win that day, Yaya Toure even described it as the toughest game he's had in all his time in England. Whilst it was nice to receive plaudits for the performance, unfortunately style points don't count when the league table is compiled. That City result wasn't a freak occurrence, too often in recent seasons Liverpool couldn't even win games when they played well, never mind when their performance level dropped. Last weekend against Stoke City the performance was impressive, yet the afternoon could so easily have ended in disappointment had it not been for Simon Mignolet's late penalty save. That was a game Liverpool probably wouldn't have won last year and the same can be said of Saturday's triumph over Villa, which was an archetypal 'game of two halves'. Read the full article here.

There's been a lot of finger-pointing among Liverpool's fan base this week as Willian became the latest high-profile target to say "thanks but no thanks" to LFC. The latest transfer saga involving the Reds came to a sadly all-too-predictable end as the Brazilian initially opted for Spurs before Chelsea swooped in to grab him. Regardless of where the Brazilian ends up, Brendan Rodgers has been left high and dry once again as the club continually fail to bolster his attacking options. It's getting ridiculous now -- who is in charge of Liverpool's transfer dealings, Arsene Wenger? Some fans blame the owners for not showing enough financial intent and allowing Spurs to outbid them. Others blame the scouting team for not going for more realistic targets, while there are those -- let's call them die-hards -- who simply blame the player for not knowing what a huge mistake he is making in turning down the opportunity to pull on the famous red shirt. Me? I blame them all, to a degree. Especially Willian -- I mean, who wouldn't want to play alongside the genius who is little Phil Coutinho? Madness! All that said, the biggest factor in Liverpool's missing out on all of these players is circumstances. After four years in the wilderness, the Reds simply don't have the pulling power they once had, and this summer that has really begun to hit home as players have snubbed Liverpool in never-before-seen numbers. Missing out to teams in the Champions League is one thing -- but when it's Spurs, that's a different kettle of fish entirely. Willian may end up at Chelsea, but it doesn't change the fact that he saw White Hart Lane as a more attractive destination than Anfield -- that's a pretty big wake-up call for Liverpool. Read the full article here.

Reds' legend Peter Beardsley says that Philippe Coutinho is a far better player than he ever was, and could even go on to have the same kind of impact as Kenny Dalglish. Speaking to the Liverpool ECHO, the popular Geordie said: “I love Coutinho. He is outstanding and has unbelievable ability. He’s better than I ever was and I really mean that. He’s miles better than me. “If he stays here for a long time he’s got a chance of being as big as Kenny – that kind of stature. I look at his ability and I think he could be the new Kenny Dalglish. He is a very special player.” Beardsley was blown away by Coutinho's performance in Liverpool's demolition of Newcastle last season; “I watched him closely that day and he ran the game against us,” he explained. “He has such a great understanding of the game. Good players like that know when to get rid of the ball. On the odd occasion he gets caught but not often. “He’s very clever – he’s always aware of where his team-mates are and how they want the ball. Some of his passing takes your breath away and he has a great attitude as well. “It was a smart signing by Brendan. I don’t think anyone saw it coming and he was a real bargain. He’s very much a team player. Look at the pleasure he got from the goal Daniel Sturridge scored against Stoke last weekend. It was only a small thing but I liked that. He’s happy for other people. “Players like that will give the ball away at times because they take risks. But even when it doesn’t quite come off, there is excitement among the fans because they can see what he was trying to do. “A knowledgeable Anfield crowd have taken him to their hearts. They expect all their players, no matter how talented, to work hard and he certainly does that. “He’s an interceptor rather than a tackler but he will run and run and put people under pressure.”

The big story on the opening day was Arsenal losing at home to Villa. Laugh? I nearly shat. It all started so well for them too, as Giroud took just five minutes to put them ahead with a sharp little finish at the near post. So far so good, but then Villa started to fight back and were soon level as Agbonlahor's brilliant run was halted by Sczieszny who was perhaps fortunate to only get a yellow card. He saved Benteke's pen but the big frontman headed in the rebound. After that Villa were probably the more dangerous side and deserved the points based on chances created. Delph hit the post with a fine effort before Koscielny was adjudged to have fouled Agbonlahor in the box. He laughed when he realised a penalty had been given, whilst Mertesacker actually looked like he was crying. Quite apt I thought, as I'm sure Arsenal fans brought up on Adams, Bould, Keown, Campbell etc and who are now having to watch these two bums probably don't know whether to laugh or cry either. On first viewing it looked a harsh decision as Koscielny got the ball, but a replay from another angle showed his other leg had caught Agbonlahor just beforehand and it was a foul. The ref got it right, but you can probably chalk that one up to good fortune and he seemed to get most things wrong all day. Koscielny had been booked for that incident and was then sent off for an imaginary foul on Weimann. He didn't even get near the Austrian, but the Villa forward did have to jump out of the way of the wild challenge and ended up on the floor. A slightly harsh sending off perhaps, but ever mind though, eh. Left back Antonio Luna, dubbed Tony Moon by Villa fans, wrapped up a great day for Paul Lambert's side late on with a somewhat bizarre goal on the counter attack. Arsenal had a corner and when it was cleared they had no-one back and Luna just ran clear to finish, there were no Arsenal players anywhere near him and it's rare you see a player have so much space to run into unchallenged. Arsenal just looked a complete mess by that point. This Gunners side just reeks of mediocre. The reason they made the top four last year is because Wenger is a great coach and because they have goals in the side. His teams always play terrific football but he appears to have completely lost his touch in the transfer market in recent years, most notably in developing this weird fetish for lightweight, ball playing midfielders. Remember when they had Vieira and Petit and took no shit from anyone? Now they've got Wilshere, Rosicky, Arteta, Ramsay, Cazorla…. and what does Wenger do? Tries to buy Yohan fucking Cabaye, that's what. More on that later. And any side that has that statuesque Mertesacker in it is completely asking for trouble, Tony Adams ten years retired could do a better job than this goon. In fact Tony Adams back in his heavy drinking days couldn't have been worse. Putting this snail out there against Villa's greyhounds was always going to end in tears for Arsenal, and tears of laughter for everyone else, especially Liverpool fans who want to see Gooners fans fall flat on their cocky little faces this season after the smug way they carried on over the Suarez affair when they thought that clause existed. You know where to shove your extra quid now don't you, fucking knobheads. Villa will do ok this year I reckon, last season was the real danger for them as they bedded in young players and a new manager. They finished the season strongly and having kept Benteke I reckon they'll be fine this year, and will probably finish somewhere around halfway. Everton's season got under way with a 2-2 draw at Carrow Road. The Canaries included new signing Ricky Van Wolfswinkel, or as the always unintentionally hilarious Garth Crookes informed BBC viewers; "Wolf Van Winkel". Haha I love that, so much so that I'm nicking it From this day forth that shall be his name. Leroy Fer was on the bench for Norwich having almost joined Everton last season. You may remember this joker, he made the headlines for failing the infamous Everton medical and for buying a horse for his girlfriend, who told him to take it back as she lived in a block of flats. Leroy has wound up at Norwich for this season, but the name of his brother 'Ifithadnabin' is rarely far from the lips of your typical Evertonian, usually followed by random words such as Heysel, Redshite, Peter Johnson, Clive Thomas, Collina and so forth. Anyway, Steven Whittaker bulldozed his way through to give Norwich the lead, playing a canny one-two with the goalpost to bamboozle Tim Howard. The goal was somewhat against the run of play, and Ross Barkley deservedly equalised for the Blues with a stunning hit from 20 yards. The body shape, technique and power generated put me in mind of the great Patrik Berger, if Paddy had really shit hair obviously. It really was a brilliant, clean hit though, and Barkey isn't even left footed which makes it even more impressive. Barkley looked superb and his parent club Manchester United must be delighted with the 'on-loan' youngster. "What are you talking about, he's not a Manchester United player" I hear you all cry. A mere technicality my friends, as rest assured, a few more performances like this and he soon will be. Although perhaps not considering that Moyes continually overlooked him last year. Good one Gollum. The thing is, Everton and Manchester United share a common goal when it comes to player development; they both aspire to produce players that are good enough to play in Manchester United's first team. Everton managed it with Rooney of course, whilst Rodwell just fell short and ended up at City. Still, at least he made it to Manchester so that's close enough. Baines would be there too except a little thing called loyalty has got in the way of that, whilst Fellaini still has a chance of making the grade if Moyes stops trying to take the piss out of his old club with derisory bids. Bidding £28m for Baines and Fellaini is laughable, I know Evertonians long to have their players and manager one day make it to Old Trafford, but even they have to be pissed off at the bare faced cheek of Moyes over this. Fellaini had a buy out clause set at £22m apparently, a buy out clause set by Moyes as that was his worth to Everton. So if he wanted to buy him, he could have done by offering that amount. He didn't, he waited until the clause expired and then bid £6m less. What a snidy, duplicitous twat. Anyway, I digress, within a couple of minutes of Barkey's equaliser Coleman had given the Blues the lead, but Wolf Van Winkel's spectacular header into the top corner ensured an entertaining game ended honours even. Finally on this one, Roberto Martinez's mouth moves more when he speaks than anybody I've ever seen. Honestly, he's like one of the Muppets, it's incredible. How has it taken me this long to get onto it? He's like a lip readers wet dream. Moving swifty on, and West Ham got off to a winning start by seeing off new boys Cardiff City with a routine 2-0 home win. Joe Cole put them ahead and Kevin Nolan made it safe in the second half with a typically fine finish. I don't know most of the Cardiff side, so I'm assuming they must be a bit shit. I felt the same way about Southampton this time last year though so who knows. I can't see past the three newly promoted sides when it comes to this year's relegation places, although I probably say that every year and there's usually one or two who turn out much better than most people expected. I don't see any of this year's crop being a Norwich, Swansea or Southampton though. Speaking of Southampton, they got their season off to a somewhat surprising winning start by edging out West Brom at the Hawthorns. Watching the highlights of this, I was pretty shocked to see that Nicolas Anelka is at West Brom. When did that happen, how did I not know about that? He's rocking a pretty crazy looking beard these days too. I've always quite liked Anelka, even when he was at Chelsea and in my quieter moments I occasionally wonder how things would have turned out if Houllier hadn't gone batshit crazy and sent him packing so he could buy Diouf. Can't see Nico doing anything at West Brom though, in fact I think the Baggies will struggle this year compared to last. Lukaku is a big loss for them. Southampton's winner came in the last minute, and capped off quite a week for Rickie Lambert. Scoring the winner on his England debut - against Scotland no less - and then slotting a last minute penalty to get the Saints off to a winning start. Everything is coming up Millhouse for Rickie at the moment. Always good to see someone like him doing well, having come up the hard way. He's scored 32 penalties out of 32 for Southampton now according to MOTD. That must be close to Le Tissier's record, he was incredible at pens too. 32 out of 32 is amazing really, fair play. He hasn't faced Mignolet yet though. Steve Clarke must be proper pissed after this one. The penalty Mulumbu conceded was just plain stupid. Not just that, he was fortunate not to have been red carded just for his hair style. He's just got one little tuft of blonde hair on the side of his head, it looks like a friggin' big caterpillar. It takes ridiculous to a whole new level. Has to be an early contender for worst hair of the season, at least now that Raheem has got rid of the effort he was sporting at the beginning of pre-season. Other observations from this; Luke Shaw is still boss, Jonas Olsson is still a twat and Pocchetino still hasn't bothered learning English. Elsewhere on Saturday, Fulham won at the Stadium of Light with former Liverpool u18 player Pjatim Kasami heading in the only goal of the game from a corner. I see nothing to make me think Sunderland won't be shit again this year. I'm not that high on Fulham either but I actually had them down to win this one, so that tells you what I think of Sunderland's chances this year. And the more they struggle, the funnier Di Canio's antics will be. Can't wait to see the madness that ensues from him this season. You know what the worst thing about the return of Premier League football is? Having to listen to United's away following singing the same songs on a permanent, nasal, droning loop. It quite literally is the worst sound in the world. Nothing even comes close to it. Nothing. I have no idea what they were even singing, it all just sounds like 'nnnyyaaa nnnnyyyaa nnnyyyaaa', the nasal sounding manc gobshites. There was some appalling version of 'Come on feel the noise' which I'm assuming is a chant for their new manager. Interesting that, Ferguson was there 27 years and never had his name sung by their fans like this. Give them a few months and they may be singing something entirely different about Moyes, fingers crossed. He couldn't have got off to a better start than this though, the bog eyed cretin. The performance was nothing special but they're just so damn clinical, especially Van Persie. Swansea began brightly, but the Dutchman's superb volley against the run of play gave United the lead and just killed the home side in their tracks. I thought Ashley Williams was a bit of a shithouse on the goal really, if he'd gone for it with his head Van Persie couldn't have volleyed it, or if he had then he'd have volleyed Williams in the head and Swansea would have been awarded a free kick (at least I'm assuming they would now that Ferguson is no longer intimidating officials from the touchline). More poor defending allowed Emile Welbeck to make it 2-0, meaning he'd already equalled last year's tally for the entire season. Van Persie hit another cracker before substitute Wilfried Bony pulled one back. Swansea never really looked like mounting any kind of comeback and Welbeck chipped in with his second to wrap up a comfortable win for United. I liked him better when he was Danny Welcrap, and I didn't like him much even then. I can't stand this version of him, he needs to go back to being shit asap. Note to Arsenal: You see what Van Persie did in this game whilst you had just been embarrassed at home by Villa? In fact, you see how he fired United to the title last season whilst you scraped into fourth place on the seat of your pants? Well THAT'S why we won't sell Suarez to you, because only an absolute fucking mug sells their best player to a top six rival. Nasri, Toure, Adebayor, Van Persie… no wonder they were so shocked by Liverpool's stance, these divs see absolutely nothing wrong in it. Small time knobs. I wasn't impressed much with Swansea, defensively they were terrible although as you'd expect they played some nice football. I was looking forward to getting my first look at Bony, as football hipsters have been going on and on about him for 12 months. Despite never having seen him play I stuck him in my fantasy team, then I saw he had 'Wilfried' on the back of his shirt and I decided on the spot that this would be his first and last game for me. He may have scored, but I'm not having those kind of antics in my team so he's history I'm afraid. Staying with Swansea, I already know after one game I'm going to hate that Canas lad who played in midfield for them. Moaning, busy, niggly, crying bastard. He's like a midfield version of that other smacked arse they have, Chico Flores. Good to see Danny Murphy in the MOTD studio, he speaks well and anything that means less Lawro, Michael Owen and Jason Roberts can only be a good thing. Had to laugh when he put Welbeck's goalscoring down to 'working with Roy Hodgson'. So all those years with Ferguson mean nothing, it's the few weeks he's spent with Hodgson that's turned him into a goalscorer! Kinell Danny, I know Roy's your boy and all that, but come on lad. If he has that kind of midas touch with shit strikers then explain Ngog to me, Danny. Explain Ngog. Sunday saw two shock results as Crystal Palace and Hull City somehow managed to avoid being completely mauled by Spurs and Chelsea respectively. Palace gave a fairly good account of themselves and were only denied a point by a somewhat debatable penalty decision. I say debatable, but I don't think they can complain about it. They can, however, feel a bit unlucky as next week they might do the same and get away with it, as it was one of those ball to hand scenarios. Soldado buried the pen to score on his debut and I'm sick of Spurs already, the player stealing twats. Bale was obviously sold weeks ago, there's absolutely no way am I buying that he's injured, they've just wrapped him in cotton wool until they sign the players we want, I mean they want, and then they'll announce his move to Madrid. If anyone from Spurs is reading this, I've heard Rodgers is looking at Tony Hibbert and Ryan Shotton…. As for Chelsea, they blew Hull away early doors and then just kind of sat back and settled for what they had. If they'd wanted to run up a big score, they could have just subbed the useless Torres for Ba or Lukaku and then wiped the floor with Steve Bruce's side, but they seemed happy enough with 2-0. Oscar grabbed the first and then Lampard smashed in a free-kick from 35 yards that the keeper really should have saved. Lampard had earlier had a penalty saved, that's something that happens about as rarely as him saying 'no thanks' when offered seconds in the club canteen. Hey, I know he's not fat but that's what makes it funny, ok? Besides, this is probably his last season so I've got to get get them in whilst I still can. Chelsea's announcer had a needless dig at Benitez when introducing Mourinho to the crowd beforehand, whilst Jose was referring to himself in the third person again afterwards. "Now the fans have to support the team, sing about the players and the club, not José. José knows how much they like me and how happy they are to have me back." Helmet. Finally, the Pellegrini era got under way at Manchester City with a routine demolition of Newcastle at Eastlands on Monday night. City looked good, very slick going forward and comfortable at the back. Dzeko was completely transformed from the lumbering oaf he looked last season, Aguero and Silva appear to have their mojo back and generally they just looked a lot less sterile and dull than they did last year. That doesn't mean Pellegrini is 'the man' just yet, it's far too early to be saying that, it merely backs up what I was writing for two years about that knobhead Mancini being a fraud. Just by getting rid of him City were guaranteeing themselves an extra 10 points even before buying anyone. They've spent big again, they have a manager who isn't a massive, negative shithouse, and chances are they'll be there or thereabouts at the end of the season. This was just painfully one sided, but that's hardly surprising given how hapless Newcastle were at the tail end of last season and considering they began this game with no new additions to that side. The same ill discipline as last season was on show again, as was the same awful defending we saw when we put six past them in April. And Steven Taylor is still a bad whopper with the brains of a rocking horse. The way the first five minutes went you could tell Newcastle were in big trouble, and they were lucky to get away with just a 4-0 in the end as it could, and should, have been much more. In fairness to the Pardew (and it's not often you'll see me use that expression), Newcastle's preparation for this game was severely disrupted when Arsenal slapped in a £10m bid for Cabaye on the eve of the game. Pardew was understandably furious, as his player was unsettled and he had to leave him out. Cabaye is a French international and Newcastle's best player. Where did Arsenal pluck that £10m valuation from, and more to the point, could the bid not have waited until Tuesday morning? And why Cabaye? Admittedly he's French and he's a really bad snide, so he fits the Arsenal profile, but how many little ball playing midfielders can one team have? PSG are being linked with a £20m bid for Cabaye now, which shows just how insulting Arsenal's opening bid was. But then Arsenal did offer us £30m for Suarez I guess, so they've got form for this kind of lowballing shite. I don't get their thought process at all, but then this is a team that has spent all summer trying to buy forwards when they have deadbeats like Mertesacker, Koscielny and Jenkinson in their back four and a bang average keeper between the sticks. Wenger likes to pontificate about how Arsenal 'always do things the right way', but he's a complete hypocrite. We're worried about our lack of incoming transfers and missing out on players, but it could be worse, we could be Arsenal. If their summer transfer activity were a penalty kick, it'd be one taken by Jonathon Walters. Dave

by Dave Usher for ESPN In November 1999 Gerard Houllier fielded more or less his entire first team against Sunderland in a reserve game. The first team had no game that week and, wanting to look at a few tactical things, the Frenchman decided it made more sense to do it in a competitive game rather than training. So the likes of Sander Westerveld, Sami Hyypia, Stephane Henchoz, Steven Gerrard, Danny Murphy, Jamie Carragher, Patrik Berger and Robbie Fowler were all wheeled out to play on a freezing cold night at Knowsley Road, St Helens. I know it was freezing because I was there; I used to go to all the reserve games back in those days. A lot has changed since then. The reserves have been rebranded and now compete in the Under-21 Premier League. The biggest change, however, is that it's increasingly rare to even see one first team player in these games, let alone an entire side consisting of them. The inevitable result is that the standard of football has plummeted at second team level in recent years, but it still has its benefits and Liverpool have not made the best use of it of late. The term Under-21 is something of a misnomer, as it isn't strictly a competition limited to that age range as a number of over age players can also be fielded. Yet often players who are not featuring in the first team have also been overlooked for second string games, meaning when they are called upon for the senior side they are coming in cold. For example, Sebastian Coates and Oussama Assaidi barely featured in the first team last season, yet they were rarely given any run outs in the Under 21s either. The pair barely played any football at all last season. It makes little sense. I accept that second team football is a long way from the standards of the Premier League, but at least it's something. It was therefore refreshing to see Fabio Borini and Martin Kelly given run outs in the Under-21s 4-2 win at Manchester United on Monday night, a game in which Borini found the net twice and Kelly captained the side. Read the full article here.

Dave Usher reports from Anfield When Stoke City were awarded a penalty in the dying minutes of a game completely dominated by Liverpool, there was just a sad sense of inevitability about it all. Typical Liverpool, hammer a team but fail to put them away and end up paying the price. It's been a frequent occurrence over the last few years and the way the final ten minutes of this game had gone you could just see it coming. You see it happen so often, a team completely pummels an opponent for 80 minutes but only has one goal to show for it and suddenly they get edgy and the opposition start to believe they can get something from the game. Everyone at Anfield knew how vital it was for the Reds to get off to a winning start and when the second goal didn't come, edginess understandably began to creep in and Stoke suddenly found some ambition and belief. We'd looked vulnerable from set pieces all afternoon so when Sterling gave away a silly foul in his own half, Anfield held it's breath. Our penalty area resembled a scene from Jurassic Park as all these lumbering, pea brained Brontosaurus looking bastards descended upon Mignolet's goal. Charlie Adam whipped in the free-kick, Agger inexplicably handled, the woeful Martin Atkinson made a rare correct decision and pointed to the spot and that was that, another opening day disappointment. But then something completely unexpected happened; our goalkeeper saved a penalty. He also saved the follow up and the roof almost came off the place. It was as though a sleeping giant had been woken, the noise levels in the closing stages of this game matched anything we've had since the last big Champions League night at Anfield, it was incredible really. We should have won the game by three or four goals and whilst that would have been a great way to kick things off, in some ways this was better. It may not have been how we hoped it would go and it was certainly far too close for comfort in the end, but that penalty save was a truly great moment and the reaction to it from the fans was spine tingling. I honestly don't remember the last time I heard a roar like that from the crowd. It was also exactly what Mignolet needed. By his own admission he'd had a somewhat nervy start - he said himself that it took until he made his first save for him to begin to feel comfortable - but that penalty save will do wonders for his confidence now. The spectre of Pepe Reina was ready to loom any time the new keeper made a mistake, but this will help to alleviate that. He's just deposited a whole heap of credit into the account. The Belgian must have felt ten foot tall as he was mobbed by team-mates and hailed by the crowd, and as far as debuts go this is what goalkeepers dream of. A win, a clean sheet, a great save in front of the Kop and then saving a last minute penalty as well as the follow up. Not a bad way to start his Liverpool career. Mignolet will deservedly get all the headlines but this was a fine performance all round. The only criticism that can be leveled at the team were that they didn't put the finishing touch to all the excellent approach play, which put them in the awkward position they found themselves in late on. You could also point to how suspect they occasionally looked defending set plays, but I'm not sure there's too much that they could do about that given the vast difference in sizes between the two teams and Stoke's well known prowess in this area. Besides, if the finishing had been of a higher standard then the occasional scare from a set-piece is really not that big a deal. Whilst it is somewhat disconcerting that we came so close to dropping two points in a game we should have had wrapped up by half time, any criticism of that has to be tempered somewhat with the recognition that you can't win every game 4-0 even when your play warrants it. There are some days when the goals just don't come, either through poor finishing, bad luck or great goalkeeping. This game was a combination of all three, and we had a few of those last season too. At least we managed to find the net once this time, there were times last season when we were unable to do even that. This team will score a lot of goals, of that I'm certain. They did last season and providing our main men stay fit then they will do so again, hopefully more this year as Sturridge and Coutinho will have the full season rather than just half of it, whilst presumably Iago Aspas will also make a valuable contribution based on his lively showing against Stoke. There's always the possibility we may be able to sign someone else too, although I'm not going to get my hopes up too much on that as it's the hope that kills you. So goalscoring is not a problem per se, the only concern I have is that the goals we scored last year often came in bunches and then we'd have a game when it just wouldn't go in and we'd drop points. Hitting six at Newcastle and then drawing a blank against Everton before hitting another three at Fulham being a case in point. Those nine goals in two away games were great, but if we could have only saved one of them for the derby it would have moved us up a place in the league table. You can almost guarantee that we'll play well in most games now, the players are well organised/coached in what they are doing and the football is generally pleasing on the eye. We create as many chances as any team in the league, and when it clicks and they go in we can put teams to the sword. There will be days when for whatever reason it just won't go in, and for me that will only really change with the addition of another top class attacker. Suarez eventually coming back will help obviously, but to crack that top four I think we need one more. That's a discussion for another day though, in terms of this game I thought we got as much out of every player as we could expect. I thought everyone performed well and there were no passengers. If Stoke had somebody else in goal we'd have almost certainly won comfortably, but Begovic was inspired. I lost count of the amount of saves me made, but one in particular stood out when he got the faintest of touches to deflect Henderson's shot onto the post. That was an incredible stop. On another day Henderson could actually have had a hat-trick, he was denied three times by the keeper, although the first one was more down to poor finishing on his part. I was a little surprised he was in the side if I'm honest. Not unpleasantly surprised, I had no issue with his selection, I just didn't expect it that's all. I assumed Rodgers would go with Joe Allen as that's how it's been shaping up throughout pre-season, but perhaps Allen's quiet game against Celtic played him out of contention, or maybe it was simply Henderson's size and athleticism that got him the nod against such physical opposition? It may even have been his tactical and positional flexibility that got him in, as it was interesting to see how he was utilised. I could be wrong, but it seemed to me like Rodgers started off playing 4-3-3 with Sturridge and Coutinho playing either side of Aspas, but then quickly changed it to more of a 4-4-2 with Henderson pushed out on the right and Sturridge going central with Aspas. That wouldn't have been an option with Allen. The Reds started well and had a good tempo to their play, Sturridge had a goal ruled out for offside but the first really clear opportunity of the game fell to Stoke when we failed to clear a set-piece and when the ball was crossed back in, Mignolet flapped at it and Huth ended up crashing a shot against the bar. Next up it was another centre back being denied by the crossbar. This time it was Toure, who came flying in and rose above Shawcross to meet Gerrard's corner with a thumping header. The rebound fell to Sturridge but he fired over the bar from close range. We've seen in pre-season that Kolo will be a threat from set-pieces, he's like a ball magnet, he seems to be underneath every corner that comes in. He'll hopefully chip in with three or four goals this season. Coutinho was instrumental in everything Liverpool were doing now. Drifting in from the left at every opportunity he was constantly looking to get on the ball and make things happen. There was a wonderful move involving Coutinho, Aspas and Enrique that ended with the full back being played in on goal, but Begovic made a terrific save to deny him. Coutinho then played a lovely disguised pass to Henderson to put him in, but the midfielder appeared hesitant and took too long to get his shot away allowing Begovic to save again. It was beginning to have a whiff of 'one of those days' about it, but then out of nowhere Sturridge drilled a low shot through Huth's legs and into the bottom corner to break the deadlock. I expected that to open the floodgates but Stoke actually responded well and it needed a great flying save from Mignolet to keep out a Walters snapshot at the Kop end. That alehouse blueshite bastard scoring in front of the Kop doesn't even bear thinking about, so top marks for Simon there, it was a superb stop. Of course whenever he makes a save like that it's inevitable that there'll be people saying "You see, Pepe would never have saved that" and they may well be right. There's absolutely no way of knowing though so it's really pointless, just as it is to analyse any mistake he makes and say "Pepe wouldn't have done that". Pepe's gone, Simon's here, that's all that matters now. Stoke went close again when Lucas needed to clear a Shawcross effort off the line. That came from a corner that never was that came from a free-kick that should never have been awarded. Martin Atkinson and his assistants were terrible all day I thought. Stoke had been completely outplayed but they certainly had their chances to score in the first half. They were not as threatening in the second half and spent most of their time on the back foot. Liverpool created chance after chance but couldn't get that second goal as an inspired Begovic kept them at bay. Great play by Enrique released Coutinho down the left who then picked out Sturridge 12 yards out. He completely missed his kick but the ball fell kindly for Hendo whose shot was brilliantly saved by the Stoke keeper. Next up, Coutinho released Sturridge in the inside left channel, he drove into the box and his shot from a tight angle was tipped onto post by Begovoc. The link up between Sturridge and Coutinho was something we saw a lot of in the closing stages of last season, and it was evident again in this game. The pair are completely on the same wavelength and that combination is arguably just as central to our hopes as anything Suarez does. Perhaps even more so. Last year the team was built around Suarez through necessity. Now we have the link up between Coutinho and Sturridge, I'd say Suarez needs to fit in around that rather than have others make way for him. Ideally we'll see Sturridge central and Coutinho playing in behind, which means Suarez may have to play from the side. Shouldn't be a problem, he's done it Ajax and for Uruguay. I'm sure he was happiest when everything was set up around him last season and he certainly responded by scoring 30 goals, but his conduct this summer means that, to quote Marcellus Wallace, he's 'lost his L.A. privileges'. Moving others around to suit Suarez shouldn't be a consideration now in my opinion, he needs to fit in with what Sturridge and Coutinho are doing. The Brazilian was wonderful to watch again in this game. He tormented Stoke to distraction, and not even the heavy handed treatment from the sly N'Zonzi and overbearing Huth could slow him down. N'Zonzi certainly has the second most dangerous elbows in the Premier League, he's the only genuine threat to Fellaini's crown. Any time someone is in a tussle with him, he somehow finds a way to get his elbow in their face and make it look accidental. Can't stand him. Coutinho never let the physical approach intimidate him, and one of the things I love about him is his work rate and desire to get back and nick the ball away from people. The main thing I love about him though is obviously just how fucking awesome he is with the ball. He's as good on the ball as anyone in the league, his balance, his touch, his vision… just a wonderful talent. Nailed on for Young Player of the Year in my opinion, unless Bale stays at Spurs in which case he's got the award sewn up again. He'll still be winning it when he's 30. I don't get how that keeps happening, maybe he's only 19 in chimp years or something? Anyway, the one thing I'd have to add about Coutinho is that he needs to be a bit more clinical with his finishing. He should have scored when he latched onto a clever dummy by Sturridge and raced clear into the box before shooting inches wide. It would have been a great goal that, it was lovely to see that kind of link up between the pair. Gerrard had a great free kick spectacularly tipped over by Begovic, and Henderson saw a shot tipped onto the post by the keeper following some great play by Aspas. Johnson somehow managed to fire over the bar from a yard out and Aspas put a free header wide from a corner. I'm sure there were other chances too, but we didn't convert any of them and as the clock ticked past 80 minutes suddenly we ended up in something of a defensive shell as Stoke realised they had a chance to get something from the game. Substitute Adam had a fantastic shot from halfway that Mignolet only just managed to tip over from underneath his crossbar, and the visitors began to force some set pieces that made us look uncomfortable. Rodgers had sent on Sterling for Aspas but the change didn't help us at all. Aspas had been bright and busy without doing anything spectacular, but he was showing for the ball and linking play well. When he went off, we lost something and the ball wasn't sticking up front as well as it had, perhaps due to Sturridge beginning to feel the pace a little after his injury. I have to admit I was annoyed about the free-kick we conceded that led to the penalty. Yes, Sterling's foot was raised, but all game we'd seen Crouch bringing down passes and juggling the ball with his foot raised at his own head height. That's 6ft 7 inches off the floor, and no free-kicks were ever awarded for those. Little Raheem raises his boot, a Stoke player lowers his head and suddenly it's a free-kick. Irritating that. God know what Agger was thinking by raising his arm like that, but as he said afterwards he knows he owes Mignolet a pint. I think it was Carragher who said recently that Mignolet looks like a monster in the goal, and as he prepared to face down Walters you could certainly see that, as he bounced up and down on his line shaking the crossbar with his fists. He'd done his homework on where Walters likes to put his penalties (his second most popular spot is the top tier of the stand behind the goal), guessed the right way and made the save. Not only that, he leapt to his feet and spread himself big to block the follow up from Jones too. Inspiring stuff, and he was mobbed by team-mates until Toure realised Stoke were taking the corner quickly and frantically tried to get everyone organised and marking up. Exactly what Carra would have been doing, I thought to myself. The double save got everyone fired up and the noise levels in those closing minutes were something else. Stoppage time was negotiated without any further scares and the final whistle was greeted with mass jubilation. Yes, it was 'only' a 1-0 win over Stoke, but that doesn't tell the full story at all. Too many times in recent years we've suffered disappointment, and it looked like it was happening again. It was imperative that we got off to a winning start and when it looked like we would fail to do so, a wave of mass despondency was about to envelope Anfield. That save from Mignolet blew that away and the celebrations were relief more than anything else. It should have been a more comfortable win than it turned out, but when it's all said and done three points are three points. I think back to the early home games of last year, games where we should have won but ended up either drawing or losing, and it's nice that something has gone in our favour for a change. Perhaps our luck is finally turning? Star man is Mignolet, but there are others worthy of mention. I thought both full backs did well, Johnson in attack and Enrique in defence. Every time Walters tried his 'meathead act' and tried to get physical, he bounced off Enrique. He got no change at all out of Jose in one on ones, and at one point Enrique quite literally put one of the Stoke players into the crowd. Going forward he was a bit of a bull in a china shop - I don't ever want to him shooting with his right foot from 20 yards again - but overall he did well. Lucas had a good game too, he got stuck right in and I loved seeing him doing his big brother act when his boy Coutinho got into it with N'Zonzi late on. If he's completely 100% after his injuries then he'll be a key player for us this season, and this was a good start although it's still early days. Gerrard was quietly good, and I think we'll see that a lot from him this season. We don't need him to be all things to all men anymore now that we have the likes of Coutinho and Sturridge, so he can just be 'Steven Gerrard the midfielder'. He's still pretty damn good at that. Henderson is never at his best for me when playing out wide but he did as well as could be expected and was unlucky not to get his name on the scoresheet, whilst Sturridge looked sharp for someone that has barely played in months. And then there's Kolo Toure. What can I say, I swore after Suarez I'd never get emotionally involved again, but Kolo has made me love again! He's just what we needed and seems like a top fella. Every time he speaks, every game he plays, he just grows on me more and more. Rodgers calls him his 'Invincible' in reference to the part he played in Arsenal's undefeated title winning season, but despite everything he's achieved in the game he's as enthusiastic and energetic as anyone on the pitch, in fact he's like an excited teenager playing his first season. Within a minute he had the fans well and truly in his pocket by soaring like a glorious, ebony salmon to win a header over the top of Peter Crouch. The crowd went mad for that, and that's exactly what I was hoping we were getting when we brought him in. Strangely though, his stats for aerial duels won weren't great and I was a little shocked to discover that he's 'only' 6ft tall. For some reason I had it in my head he was around 6ft 3, but that's probably because he plays like he is. He's just ace though, you can tell that rather than seeing his glittering career as winding down, he's desperate to add another glorious chapter to it. Having someone like that around the squad can only be good for everybody else. There was a moment in the second half that brought back fond memories of Rigobert Song, big Kolo charged forward to support the attack and when he didn't get the ball, he turned around and sprinted full pelt to get back into his defensive position. The crowd love seeing that kind of thing, and the enthusiasm of Toure is just infectious. What a great character to have around the place, Jamie Carragher's retirement left some mighty big shoes to fill, but thankfully Toure has big feet. Team: Mignolet; Johnson, Toure, Agger, Enrique; Lucas, Gerrard, Henderson; Sturridge, Aspas (Sterling), Coutinho:

Liverpool defender Kolo Toure last week hailed Philippe Coutinho as "the best player at the club". High praise indeed given the presence of Luis Suarez and Steven Gerrard in Liverpool's ranks, but not especially surprising to anyone that has witnessed the huge impact made by the diminutive Brazilian in the relatively short time he's been in England. Whilst Toure's overlooking of Suarez can perhaps be explained by the lack of training time the pair have spent together so far (not to mention Suarez's reported lack of application in the sessions he did take part in), nevertheless, Coutinho is rapidly becoming the new darling of the Kop. With Gerrard now seen as part of the Anfield furniture and perhaps taken somewhat for granted these days, the sudden fall from grace of Suarez has left Coutinho as the brightest star shining in L4, not to mention the top selling shirt in the club shop this summer. The manner in which Coutinho and Daniel Sturridge combined to completely destroy the likes of Newcastle and Fulham at the back end of last season meant few people were even bothering to talk about a certain suspended Uruguayan as the season drew to a close. A lot has since been said and written about the Reds' troublesome number seven, but essentially nothing has changed. He's still a Liverpool player, he's still suspended and Coutinho and Sturridge are still ensuring his absence is not proving too harmful to the Reds. Read the full article here

by Dave Usher for ESPN When the Premier League fixture list is released in mid-June, the first thing most supporters hope for is to be at home on opening day. If the opposition is a side you would expect to beat, all the better. While Liverpool could have been handed an easier opponent than Stoke City, the game certainly represents a great opportunity for the Reds to get off to the kind of start they have not managed to make in several years. You have to go back to a 1-0 win at Sunderland in 2008 to find Liverpool's last opening day victory, a game most notable for Rafa Benitez's baffling decision to start with the hapless Damien Plessis over Xabi Alonso. The boss eventually came to his senses and introduced "the maestro" at halftime, but it was another Spaniard, Fernando Torres, who settled the game with a late strike. Since then the Reds haven't fared too well on opening day. The following year saw Benitez's men slip to a 2-1 defeat to Spurs at White Hart Lane, where not even the late introduction of the "not so Divine Ponytail" Andriy Voronin could rescue a point that day. A year later Roy Hodgson took charge of his first Liverpool game as Arsenal made the trip up North to Anfield. Joe Cole was sent off on the stroke of halftime but a beauty from David N'gog looked to have secured a plucky win until a late howler from Pepe Reina gave the Gunners a point they didn't deserve. Hodgson, Cole, N'gog ... *shudders* An eventful 12 months passed and Kenny Dalglish was back in the dugout in 2011 as Sunderland travelled down to Merseyside. Liverpool should have been out of sight by halftime, but a string of missed chances -- including a penalty that Luis Suarez launched into orbit over the Anfield Road end -- proved costly as the Black Cats equalised and held on for a point. Read the full article here.

by Dave Usher for ESPN So he does love the fans after all, and what's more is that he's happy to stay at Anfield and even wants to sign a new contract. All's well that ends well as they say. Presumably we can just chalk this summer up to one big misunderstanding then, eh? Honestly, I sometimes wonder if Luis Suarez can actually hear himself when he speaks. The latest reports coming out of Uruguay almost beggar belief. Respected journalist Martin Charquero reported that "Luis Suarez has confirmed to me that he will not be leaving Liverpool. The support of the fans in the last few weeks has influenced his decision. Suarez sees it as probable that he will renew his contract with Liverpool." So there you have it, it was the support of the fans that influenced his decision. Nothing to do with discovering that his agent had dropped the ball when trying to insert an escape clause into his contract. Nothing to do with John W. Henry putting him over his proverbial knee and spanking him like the naughty child he is. And certainly nothing to do with Europe's elite clubs shunning him in favour of other, less volatile, transfer targets. No, it was his "affection" for the fans that forced this decision. And call me a cynic, but this new contract wouldn't happen to involve a handsome pay raise and a watertight release clause, would it? Read the full article here

Your host 'Numbers' is joined by TLW Editor Dave Usher and long time fanzine writer Paul Natton in a feature length episode of the show to discuss the recent transfer activity (or lack of), the Suarez saga and to preview the opening day clash against Stoke City. Listen now either on the embedded player below, or by visiting our podcast page here. You can also subscribe through itunes and have any new podcast automatically delivered to your computer. Clicking the link above will download the latest episode straight into your iTunes, and will subscribe you to any future episodes. Those of you wanting to listen on your phone, try this link as it should work on most smartphones. To listen in this window, simply click the play button in the box below. To listen in a new tab, click here.

Daniel Agger has been named the new vice captain of the club by boss Brendan Rodgers. The retirement of Jamie Carragher meant that Rodgers has been looking for a new vice captain to Steven Gerrard all summer and he has eventually settled on the popular Dane after the defender apparently dismissed interest from Barcelona to pledge his future to the Reds. Rodgers explained to the club's official website: "From my first conversation with him, he made it very clear that he wants to be here. I've also known during my time here that other clubs have wanted to take him, but he's been very true to his word. "His loyalty and his passion for Liverpool is second to none. And if you add that on to his footballing qualities, then I think it's a good choice for everybody." Rodgers continued: "He was very proud when he found out the news. I had spoken to him at the beginning of pre-season to tell him that he was one of the ones I was going to be looking at closely, and throughout pre-season he has been a real role model within the group. "He has trained magnificently and he was delighted when I pulled him over and said that he'd be the one that I would be looking at to step in to Carra's shoes. He was very pleased and very proud as you can imagine. "He's an international captain and he's been here for a long time - the supporters and the players really recognise that with him."

West Ham United have re-ignited their interest in Reds winger Stewart Downing and hope to tie up a deal for the England man early next week. Downing snubbed the Hammers earlier this summer and after talk with Brendan Rodgers vowed to stay and fight for his place at Anfield. The situation changed last week when Newcastle made a loan approach that was immediately turned down by the club, although the Geordies were informed that a permanent deal was not out of the question should they make a suitable offer, believed to be around £6m. Rodgers spoke publicly about how impressed he was with the winger's performance in midweek against Valeranga, and privately told the player he wants him to stay and be a part of the squad. However, it's clear that Liverpool will do business for a reasonable price and the Hammers returned with a bid of £5m that was turned down on Friday. They are expected to return with an increased offer and then it will be up to the player to decide if he wants the move. Downing, who joined the Reds for £20m from Aston Villa in 2011, is believed to want to stay at Anfield but is concerned that he may not get the playing time he wants and is not prepared to just sit on the sidelines and collect his money, especially in a World Cup year and with his England place under threat.

by Dave Usher for ESPN How about that John W. Henry then, eh? I doubt many people saw that coming, least of all Luis Suarez and his agent, Pere Guardiola. If Brendan Rodgers had them reeling on the ropes Wednesday, Henry delivered the knockout blow Thursday when he insisted that the want-away player will not be sold "whatever the bid is." Of course, this is big news for Liverpool and Arsenal fans, but other supporters should also take heed as this is about player power and a club standing up to it. This affects everybody, as there isn't a club in the country that won't have to deal with a similar issue at some point in the future. It would appear that Henry has taken a stand, and hopefully now we'll see others follow his lead. It seems that everybody outside of Liverpool just assumed that the Reds would cave in and get what they could for the Uruguayan agitator, reinvesting the cash in the squad. Certainly most of the London-based media assumed it was inevitable that he would end up at the Emirates sooner rather than later. There was a belief at Arsenal that it was only a matter of time before they got their man, presumably due to assurances by the Suarez camp that the now infamous clause in his contract was watertight. Liverpool's stance has remained the same throughout: the contract clause did not mean what Suarez thought it did (that interested clubs have the right to sign him for £40 million). The PFA assessed the situation, agreed with Liverpool and suddenly things didn't look quite so rosy for Suarez and Arsenal. Read the full article here

Reds' legend Jamie Carragher says that Luis Suarez is becoming a distraction and that Brendan Rodgers is right to remove him from the group as "Nobody wants unhappy players at the training ground or on the pitch playing. It affects other people." Carragher, for two and a half years a team-mate of Suarez and a man who has never hidden his admiration and respect for the Uruguayan, told Sky Sports News that he witnessed a change in the striker when he returned to train with the squad at Melwood last week. "I know Luis and I've played with him in the last couple of years and he's a warrior. He's a fighter on the pitch and every day in training. He never misses a session. I went in to Friday training before Stevie's testimonial and that wasn't the Luis Suarez I knew." "I think it's right for Brendan Rodgers to take him out of the group because no one player is bigger than the team or the squad. He's not going to be playing because he's banned, so Liverpool need to concentrate on getting it right for the first game of the season against Stoke. If Suarez is a distraction for everyone then he needs to be taken out of the group." Carragher also claimed that if he was still at the club he'd be having strong words with Suarez about his conduct, saying; "Sort yourself. You can't have that and can't accept that. There's ways and means of going about it. Players get transferred all the time and you can't always have what you want. The recently retired defender also explained that selling to Arsenal simply should not be an option for Liverpool if they are to retain any hope of breaking into the top four. "Liverpool Football Club have got to protect themselves as well. Arsenal are a big rival for a top-four place and maybe if he wanted to go somewhere else it wouldn't be such a big issue and maybe Liverpool would sanction a deal.