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Background: the spirit of TOGETHERNESS had reached volcanic levels of eruption. Rodgers tactics of providing each squad member with a framed picture of themselves IN FULL KIT with a wife or family members (for the younger players) had made even Iron Man Andreas Wisdom cry openly. Fowler (on Twitter): Get a life Graham! Have a look at Rodgers before you spin that shit out! Squad: Fowler Tweets again! Rodgers: Time has come. It's the first game of the season aganst Stoke. I want a full back to MAKE A DASH. When near the goal, tactic A - cut inside, switch, shimmy left and shoot or cross if Danny has made an inch. Agger: DENMARK! Luis Alberto: I have my head up. When I have my head up I can see the whole Universe unravel before my eyes. There was a time when I played for Barca A that Pep came to witness my passing and literally threw up a silk tie, jumper and impossibly smart jeans. I'm that good my Mother is a Saint. Squad: DENMARK! Rodgers: Luis!! Alberto! Luis OVER THERE should listen. His visions are one of prisons and yesterday he constructed the mountain in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It was only through his tears that the lava was flowing. Squad (religous chanting): we KNOW this to be true, we know that Luis is ASLEEP, we know that Luis will awaken. Rodgers: now, it's time for a bath, big Ian Rush has run the bath - and at a perfect temperature. Has anyone seen Iago? *terrifying thunder and music!!!* Iago: I don't need to have a communal bath! I own and operate A SPA (Aspas)! Andreas Wisdom: You crack me up!

I am gonna get slated for this I'm sure but I once saw an old lady having a fit, she was down on her knees, looked just like she was playing air guitar, the way her hands were moving. Still makes me chuckle now. Paramedics sorted her out so no harm done. :party:

Goal attempts - 12 On target - 9 Goals - 7 We've had double the goal attempts and got nothing this season. Confidence is all, Crouchino's 2nd and Nando's - how many times this season have we seen them play right those straight at the keeper! And it was about time a keeper had a 'mare against us.