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Souness called them the best side he has ever seen even better than any liverpool side in the past,hahahahahahahaha

My missus advised me of the news today that her mother managed to shit her kecks in work after a bad case of the two bob bits. She was with a customer and couldn't get away from her soon enough to make it to the toilet. After managing to gather my breath back following the additional news that they had to put the offending garments in a bag for her and go out and buy her new undercrackers, I (obviously) then phoned my best mate to inform him of this 'unfortunate' accident. He then shamelessly admitted to me that only a couple of months back he happened to de-bowel himself whilst in a rush to get to the toilet bladdered. Do I just hang around with the wrong people or is shitting yourself more common than I give it credit for? Oh, and for the last four hours I've been referring to the mother in law as 'curry undies'.

Two lads having a laugh, or a pair of grown men trying too hard to retain their youth? What do you think? Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross face calls to be sacked over Andrew Sachs messages Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross should be sacked by the BBC for making offensive telephone calls to the veteran actor Andrew Sachs, critics have said. The corporation has already apologised to Mr Sachs, 78, after the presenters left answerphone messages claiming Brand had slept with his granddaughter, 23-year-old Georgina Baillie, an aspiring model. More than 1,500 complaints have been sent into the BBC, including phone calls and emails, and politicians have led calls for the pair to be fired immediately. David Davies, the Conservative MP for Monmouth, said: "In no other organisation paid for by the taxpayer or otherwise, would you be able to get away with behaving like this. "These two men are paid millions - from our pockets - and they think it is entertaining to call up a pensioner and shout lewd, disgusting things about his granddaughter down the phone. "I do not understand how anyone can claim it is funny or entertaining to do that to an elderly man." Paul Farrelly, Labour MP for Newcastle-under-Lyme, said: "Russell Brand should be sacked and the BBC's editorial standards team should be hauled over the coals as well. How could this have been given the green light to go out on air?" Mediawatch-UK, the pressure group which campaigns for "decency and accountability" in the media, called for Brand and Ross to be removed from broadcasting while the BBC investigated the incident. John Beyer, its director, said: "I think the BBC should look at the possibility of putting other presenters on air while it conducts this investigation to reassure the public it is taking the matter seriously." Mr Beyer said he had received several calls from people who were angry about the incident. "People strongly object to licence fee payers' money being used to fund these sorts of immature pranks," he said. Will Wyatt, former BBC deputy director general, said "someone should take some pain" for what had happened. He said: "It was completely inappropriate. It is like a couple of drunken teenagers in a phone box trying to rag one of their chums. "But actually this was broadcast over a licence fee paid for network and it was to an ageing actor who hadn't done anyone any harm. One way or another, someone should take some pain for this." There were even calls for the pair to be prosecuted. They would face six months jail or fines if they were convicted under the Telecommunications Act or the Protection from Harassment Act. Although the BBC has been overwhelmed by irate licence-payers Ofcom has also received complaints. It will assess them against the Broadcasting Code, which sets out standards including fairness and privacy. The watchdog does this in order to determine whether it should investigate further. Ross has already sent an apology to Sachs while Brand is understood to be in the process of putting one together. The pre-recorded calls were aired on Brand's Radio 2 show. The host and Ross, who presents a show on the same radio channel, began making calls after Sachs apparently did not answer his phone for a pre-arranged interview to promote a television show. Ross, 47, left a message telling Sachs: "He –––––– your granddaughter." Brand, 33, denied this, but added: "Oh no, I have revealed I know her name." After discussing how Sachs might hang himself as a result, the pair made a string of calls in which they ostensibly attempted to apologise for what was "just a joke", but continued to leave lewd messages. At one point, Brand sang: "I said some things I didn't of oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter..." Sachs, who played waiter Manuel in Fawlty Towers, was said by his spokeswoman to be "upset" by the incident and did not wish to comment further. Speaking near his house in Hampstead, north west London, Brand was asked if he regretted making the prank calls. He said jokingly: "What is your name? I'm sorry, I'm confused now I can't go on." The Sachs incident has also reinforced the aptness of the title for Ross's recent book, Why Do I Say These Things? Brand delivered a light-hearted apology over the calls on his latest radio show, aware that a Sunday newspaper was preparing a story about the October 18 broadcast. He said: "I'd like to take this opportunity to issue a personal Russell Brand apology to Andrew Sachs, the great comic actor who played Manuel, for a message that Jonathan and I left on his answerphone, but it was quite funny. "Sometimes, you mustn't swear on someone's answerphone and that's why I'd like to apologise personally."

...has announced his retirement from Test Match Cricket as of today. He deserves a thread for his service and contribution not only to Indian Cricket but the game as a whole for a very long time. 619 wickets and counting and a real fighter. I've enjoyed watching this fella over the years.