TheSire

Aside from the United game I can't remember any issues to be fair.

Yeah I think doing anything 100% of the time can be exploited (say insisting on playing one twos to counter from corners) if teams set up well against you. Some balance is needed, especially now with the amount of data analysis closing the gap in quality between teams.

We've been shit at clearing danger for while. Braindead passes straight out to the opposition and there's never a man in a red shirt to pick it up.

Muslamic Ray Guns.

I also wonder whether football has adapted and our edge is gone. We dominated with the counter press and front foot attacking approach on the ball. All teams now press well so your edge is reduced right away, have we failed to adapt to that change to give us an advantage again? I've thought for a while too that we've tried to change our play on the ball but we don't have the technical players for it. We're very one footed as well and because of that we can be predictable. We may create a lot of 'chances' but they're usually low quality where the forward has so little space that if they don't hit it really fucking early then its blocked or an easy save. We lack intelligence as a team and can't adapt to situations. We overly rely on emotion but when that's taken away you're left with a shell that crumbles easily.

He looks really miserable lately. Looks like he's about to cry. It's horrible to see and that's the main reason I'm pissed off with the players. Dickheads. They love the positive attention but when it's tough or there's criticism you see how weak the egos are.

Lately I've been angry and sickened by these players. The pod and these write ups give a sense of vindication that I'm not being a crank. I think there's been a pattern for a few years now where we don't respond well to setbacks. The times we do its never a stubborn fight where they're angry at losing though, usually we scrape by with a whimper. The big glaring underlying issue is mentality. There's a BIG concern in HOW bad we can be when we're not on our game. I think you judge ability by how BAD your worst is, not now good your best is as even weak sides are capable of playing well. No excuse for the level of sloppiness on the ball and the weakness off it.

If you stick them up your bum you'll avoid side effects. I read it on the Internet.

Ban?

Curse of the Tits

I think the victory was probably just a sense of safety and control, understandable.

Yep, just non existent emotional regulation. That inability to pause, back off and then rationally think through just isn't there and as a result your emotions are just way too strong for the actual situation but you can't help this aspect without some help. It leads to kneejerk reacting and the stronger those negative feelings the more dramatic and potentially damaging the reaction is. I've done this in the past, my thing was usually to push people away or shut them off if I thought I could get hurt and later you regret it a bit. Those feelings fade and you wish you could have left things more amicable. Having said that it's in the past and most likely no one is bearing a grudge against you, you also probably don't have as much control over these feelings right now or in the past so forgive yourself, we don't always behave rationally. We're imperfect. I'm sure you mentioned issues with your family. Do you have parents or siblings with chaotic lives? My sister is undiagnosed but it's terribly impulsive and gets herself into some bad spots, again ADHD is mostly genetic but if you have family with some tendency to behave impulsively or issues with concentration and emotion etc then a few of them probably do too. If they've caused you strife in the past they probably didn't intend to either and that may provide some comfort.

A big pointer for me was when I realised there was no obvious trigger to the negative mood shifts and they'd come and go within a day or so. I used to hate grey days as I'd feel really off, now I don't care at all and it's a massive relief. Probably the brain just feeding into my emotional centre ITS GREY AND THE WEATHER ISNT GREAT, THINK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY AND FEEL OFF BALANCE FOR NO OBVIOUS REASON. Thanks!

BTW feel free to inbox if anyone reads any of this and it resonates and want to know anything. It's a massively underdiagnosed condition despite right wing gobshites trying to peddle the idea 'everyone has it these days'. Prevalence of ADHD in all countries averages at around 5% so its very common. 0.1% in the UK are treated. So you're looking at 1 in 20 with it but 1 in 1000 getting help. Probably because teachers didn't know what to look for and the health system has no filter to catch people who are repeatedly getting diagnosed with multiple mental health conditions. Ie GP not flagging that a patient has had 5 mental heath diagnoses with 15 medications not working for them or making it worse. Its common for people to be treated for bipolar and their antipsychotic medication making their ADHD worse as they blunt dopamine signalling.

The below is what's actually used to assess by the way. The above is just a good initial indicator to give some idea. The key thing is for both symptoms AND impact over both childhood and adulthood that can't be explained by other conditions. Just remember that ADHD occurs alongside anxiety disorders and depression etc very commonly, if you have been diagnosed with these it doesn't mean you don't have ADHD, rather they're symptoms of ADHD as opposed to being their own thing. Eg when I take my special drugs anxiety and low mood just don't exist at all for me. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.advancedassessments.co.uk/resources/ADHD-Screening-Test-Adult.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjy3Pzb7uSFAxXRUkEAHYfRAEwQFnoECAQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1-ha9II6oWAIFAPq8A72DY

So I had to become a tory and go private. I actually do have an NHS referral to Psychiatry UK who pick up the slack as an NHS partner so I'll actually be treated by them once I'm at the front of the queue later this year. In the meantime I coughed up and went private as I'd have probably lost my job promotion or gotten sacked without help. Best thing I've ever done though. Absolutely amazed how well the meds work and with no side effects. The difference is astounding and others notice even in subtle ways. I'm more social and confident because I don't feel like I've been injected with 50000mg of caffeine, I'm also able to keep track of conversation within daydreaming about butterflies or inventing a special red coloured jetpack product. In terms of cost I paid £390 for the 90 minute assessment which included some detailed forms and the certificate of diagnosis which shows their rationale about your symptoms and the impact on your life as a child and adult. This clinic charge £25 for the prescription (seems standard tbh but arguably you're paying to be on their books as opposed to the piece of paper) and meds can vary. Instant release tablets are very cheap but I find taking tablets 3 times a day is inconvenient and I do feel them kick in and wear off a bit. I prefer a long acting med that lasts 12 hours and is much smoother, I can take an instant release top up which gives me another 3 hours if needed. Interestingly my sleep is much better, I both elect to go to bed earlier as I no longer feel the need to scroll or solve the worlds problems at 11pm and I stay asleep and wake feeling refreshed. My appetite is actually better if anything and I don't snack on shite to dopamine seek anymore. I even notice my blood pressure has dropped about 15+ points even though the medication is a stimulant but I think people with ADHD respond differently to stimulant drugs vs a typical person as its giving is the correct level of brain signalling for us. I feel very calm and content but also motivated and enthusiastic. My response to stress is healthy and not inappropriate and my range is mood is better; I feel the highs more instead of emotional flatness but if something happens that should upset me I can just roll with it and experience that instead of pushing away those feelings and avoiding things that might hurt me. In the past I had no idea I had ADHD but was aware of shitty focus etc. Tried so many nonsense supplements and they either helped focus but made me anxious or calmed me but worsened focus etc. I am massively relieved that medication allows me to experience both having energy but whilst also being calm. I feel I have time to think in social situations too so no longer feel scattered and in a hurry.

It's highly genetic. Something like a 75% chance a parent has it. Maybe do this quick quiz and see where you score?

I used to really struggle with conflict in relationships, I'd get this horrible fight or flight and just have to get out the house. An hour later I'm walking on my own and then panic that I've made it worse and then feel horribly guilty. It NEVER happens now, I can just pause if she says anything that I don't like and let it pass and not become overly emotional. No big fall out etc since treatment.

Tbh I've noticed and thought the same. You just see traits or how someone thinks differently or comes to conclusions in a different way. The rejection thing is probably more a part of emotional dysregulatiom. Exaggerated emotional responses because your brain can't inhibit these responses like a typical brain. It's probably partly because of a childhood of being told off etc and maybe we crave approval without realising it. It leads to people pleasing and saying yes, not setting boundaries etc. I'd absolutely recommend looking into it. Medication is life changing if you also combine it with learning about the condition and then learning new hacks to plug those leaks. If you understand WHY the symptoms occur you can work with the condition instead of a never ending frustrating endeavour to do the things everyone else does. You can be just as effective as everyone else but some things just need a different approach.

So I think with most people this is 100% the case. Maybe with me I'm actually comfortable in opening up and I wonder if the actual act of talking isn't the thing that lifts my mood. I think my brain just wants the answer itself? I'm aware I might just be weird though! Funnily enough was chatting to a lad last night about this and he was saying how his loud and dominant persona is all bullshit and he's actually quite sensitive underneath. I think we can really care about how we're perceived and build a front to present to the outside world and we get trapped in this false comfort that harms us in the long run.

A room full of the Mrs and her mates. Chaos. Screams of excitement and joy. No idea how there's 8 of them in the room and they're all switching between 3 or 4 different conversation groups.

Was at a wedding party last night. I'm absolutely fine if we go outside for a chat so it's not that I'm unsociable but if it's with loud music and I'm expected to chat etc I hate it and just wish I could disengage but you're conscious of looking bored and not getting involved.

Tbh possibly as I can see traces of emotional deregulation at times. Just where your mind comes up with a possible explanation and it descends into a negative thought loop which is horrible. It's a common issue in ADHD, in fact it's a core symptom. Part of the job of the frontal part of the brain is to put the brakes on and inhibit our behaviour and this includes our emotions. Pre medication I'd get really bothered by silly things and couldn't switch off the dark ride, maybe the exception being with exercise. Post medication my mood is just so so much better and if life throws a curve ball I can just rationally stop and process it and move on. I don't avoid difficult situations anymore either, I just do what I can. The ruminating of thoughts is just an alien concept to me now. Its pretty amazing the difference tbh. One easy way of explaining it is.... untreated you're living life on hard mode, with treatment it's dialled down significantly but without any downside and i was pleasantly surprised at how 'normal' meds feel. I don't feel like I've taken a drug, I expected to feel jittery etc but it's just a perfect balance of being calm but clear headed. Okay..... went off on a massive tangent!

The poor understanding of the condition is a massive issue. The condition being poorly named isn't helpful either as you don't have to be hyperactive or even outwardly so (as in the hyperactivity can be internalised if you're able to suppress it to hide it as we're conditioned to behave as a child). It also isn't a deficit of attention at all, quite the opposite in fact. The brain doesn't do a good job of prioritising sensory input so you focus on EVERYTHING. So any sensory input is deemed to be important so you'll find it impossible not to look away if you hear a noise etc. Background office chatter becomes clear and loud so reading or trying to concentrate is impossible. Your brain is kind of in a forced multitasking mode in a way which is draining. Your brain basically can't effectively DIRECT its attention but it's actually VERY good at paying attention..... to everything at once. Because of the stereotype around hyperactive children those that were able to blend in and be quiet or were doing well academically slipped through the net. The damage is done as you become an adult and hit crisis after crisis. Job losses and career changes, going through tons of hobbies but never quite mastering anything because novelty wears off and you move onto the new shiny thing. People aren't aware of the secondary common symptoms like anxiety, depression, addiction issues etc. The problem is these end up being seen as their own problems and treated as such when treating the ADHD resolves these issues pretty much in an instant. The amazing thing though is although it's a debilitating condition it's probably THE easiest psychiatric condition to treat. No medication comes close to ADHD meds in terms of effect size but with very few problematic side effects. I literally just get cold hands if it's a bit nippy out, who gives a fuck?

I think people forget there's a wide variation in now these things present. If you appear able to communicate and connect with people and understand social cues you go under the radar. I only have an ADHD diagnosis but I find formal social stuff really exhausting and draining. I don't mind noise in itself but I get sensory overload where its hard to tune out unimportant stuff whilst trying to have a conversation with blurring music and other people trying to get your attention etc. It's actually really fucking stressful as I'm overly conscious I'll miss what they're saying and it may cause awkwardness if I mishear something or zone out.