Mudface

They should just switch it off and on again. 

16 minutes ago, Elite said:

Bought a bunch of bananas  just in case.

You should be getting rid of bananas and any other soft fruit so the monkeys and their zombie slave pox army don't seek you out.

15 minutes ago, polymerpunkah said:

Monkey-pox?

What the fuck next?

Hmm, I tend to have most of the general symptoms at any given time. I'd best keep away from monkeys, gays and young people.

1 hour ago, KMD7 said:

New thread over on GOT with the heading 'Are we now...popular?'. They really are living on an alternate planet.

 

 

What the fuck? They might be able to get away with the various misbehaviours as isolated incidents by knobheads- even though there were quite a lot of them- but the team itself is absolute AIDS. Absolutely dreadful football coupled with cheating, diving and endless timewasting. They're a snide Wimbledon with very fickle fans.

30 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

I'm a bit like that with kitchen cupboard doors.

 

I read A Scanner Darkly years ago, and the protagonist in that was a normal fella until he stood up under an opened cupboard door and the corner smashed his head. Something about the innocuous nature of it unsettled me.

 

It's weird the stuff that sticks in your mind. I now look at kitchen units like a health and safety Robocop scanning for threats.

Haha, I'm the same after cracking my head on an open door a few years back. Very painful, although it did inspire me to clean up the streets of the skunk pussies and cooze hounds.

Just now, Edward. said:

Not really a Star Trek fan so I may have missed something here.

Luke's a hobbit, mate, out of Narnia.

Just now, littletedwest said:

Imagine we only are only more successful this season than they have been for 35 years and they avoid relegation they'll defo release a dvd

The Great Escape, a new limited series.

Oh well, it was beautiful while it lasted.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2022/may/19/divock-origi-agrees-to-join-milan-when-liverpool-contract-expires-this-summer

Divock Origi agrees to join Milan when Liverpool contract expires this summer
Striker waiting to take medical and sign contract with Milan
Origi joined Liverpool in 2014 but has not been regular starter

Divock Origi is poised to join Milan when his Liverpool deal expires this summer. The forward has agreed the move and is waiting to take a medical and sign the contract.

Origi has been at Liverpool since 2015 and has scored some notable goals, including two against Barcelona during the famous Champions League semi-final comeback at Anfield in 2019 and the winner at home to Everton a year earlier.

He has been unable to hold down a regular place, though, exemplified by starting two Premier League games over the past two seasons, and hopes to get more playing time at Milan. He spent the 2017-18 season on loan at Wolfsburg.


The Belgium international has 22 goals from 107 Premier League games for Liverpool and could get a farewell appearance at home to Wolves on Sunday. Milan play at Sassuolo on Sunday knowing a win would guarantee them a first Serie A title since 2011.

19 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

Main reason I hate being bald is having to shave it every 2 days or I look like a half eaten Malteser. The good part is that I also have the type of face that even when I’m happy people accuse me of being fuming and I’m ridiculously tall so look like a Home and Bargain version of Stephen French, thus people tend to stand well clear. Got to enjoy the small things. 

Imagine the size of his balls.

Looks like this initiative brought instant results-

On 14/05/2022 at 13:58, Harry's Lad said:

Thanks mate.

I have to go for it, I'd be stupid not to, but the timing couldn't be worse.

I asked the fella who rang me up if there was a telly in the ward and he said no, it's just a room.

I'm sure he was a fucking Bloo.

 

I'll take my tablet and hopefully someone will be kind enough to give me the WiFi password because there is virtually no O2 signal there.

 

The infusion starts at 5:00 and is a slow one apparently and you have to stay for an hour after in case of a reaction. 

How are you feeling?

25 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Totally normal. 
 

https://twitter.com/miss_teabaggins/status/1526296409447743489?s=21&t=zl-zFu9OWRRrOFNWbW8QGw

What. The. Fuck?

Considering pregnant and nursing mothers are told to avoid all kinds of stuff, how the fuck can inducing male lactation through a cocktail of chemicals be in any way safe or nourishing for the child?

The only thing that saved me yesterday was that I was utterly stoned that I only had 3 pints after about 9 o'clock. God bless hash.

1 minute ago, mgw100 said:

What a day. Edinburgh TSOP out in full force. @Mook; @Champ; @Mudface legends all. Too pissed to go home, kipped on Mooks couch. Can of lager for breakfast. On the bus home with an order to buy and cook a fry up. My wife's fucking sound. Up the fucking reds.

 

Excellent. I think I'm probably dead, but it was a cracking night all the same.

2 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

My other Granddaughter has got it now and the hospital has just rang.

I go in for  intravenous medication today, AT FIVE O FUCKING CLOCK.

 

Fucking nap.

Best wishes, mate. My sister had the treatment earlier in the year- she's on the highly vulnerable list too- and it sorted her out, so I'm sure you'll be back being pestered by the grandkids soon.

47 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Homous. It’s just baby sick. I hate it and everything associated with it. 

I remember one of the first times I ordered a kebab, and accidentally asked for humus, thinking it was chilli sauce. Nearly burned the entire city down in rage after the first bite.

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

No its still going to cost us £74.

 

Stig can finger me any time and I'll reward him with a can of Carling. 

 

Like a mucky vending machine.

12 minutes ago, Jack the Sipper said:

Eggs.

 

I'm not allergic to them, and I'll eat them blended into a cake mix or something, but I can't stand eating the fuckers whole, boiled, fried,  whatever. 

 

The smell, the taste, the texture, the knowing that I'm eating a fucking animals eggs. Totally irrational given I'd eat their arsholes in a hotdog, but there we are.

Same, I can just about stand over hard fried eggs with a cooked breakfast or an omelette with smoked bacon and chilli, but anything else, especially with runny yolks, just makes me feel sick.

6 minutes ago, Chip Butty said:

The Royal family. I know I’m on my own here, but am just not really into them.

 

soz.

Christ, there's always one. Just you wait until Phillip's new skin is finished.

16 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

Not my thing at all mate.

Yeah, I can understand. Saw is leagues above Hostel as a film though- Hostel has no redeeming features whatsoever, just gorn for its own sake.

3 minutes ago, SasaS said:

 

Camgirls Erica and Jenny, streaming live from Mariupol- today's goal 10,000 tokens and Jenny mounts the turret.

7 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

I like those but I love the old Universal ones with Lugosi, Karloff and Chaney.

I'm not keen on the modern slasher type stuff like for example Saw or Hostel either. They're too fucked up for my taste.

The first Saw is excellent, Hostel's utter trash.