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So how the hell do you go about summing that up? I’ve never seen anything like it. None of us have, because it’s never happened before. I'm still stunned even now just thinking about it. Probably the closest thing would be Divock’s Anfield derby winner, which compares in terms of the drama and the freak nature of the goal, but a goalkeeper scoring is just so unique. It’s literally a once in a lifetime thing that we’ll always remember. It got us out of jail because we’d completely blown this game. The top four had all but gone and all the great vibes from Thursday night had been thrown away because we’d toiled so badly against a fucking dreadful team that had already been relegated and had nothing to play for. Managed by Sam fucking Allardyce. This match report was all set to be a scathing assessment on why these lads don’t deserve to be playing in the Champions League next season. And then THAT happened. Football eh? Bloody hell. Lucky? Of course it was. It was a totally freak occurrence, the likes of which I doubt we’ll ever see again. Undeserved? Well that’s a much more complex discussion. Where we the better team? Yes. Did we do enough to ‘deserve’ the win? Yes and no. Put it this way, if Trent or Gini had hit the target and scored with the chances they had late on, would anyone (other than Jabba the Hutt) be saying we didn’t deserve it? I doubt it. Conversely, neither Trent nor Gini could even hit the target with those chances so on the basis that our finishing was so shite once again, if we hadn’t come away with the points we wouldn’t have had anyone to blame but ourselves and we’d have deserved what we got. I don’t really care wether we deserved to win or not at this point. I just want to win because we can’t afford not to. Besides, we’ve had plenty of things go against us this season that were completely undeserved so this goes some small way towards redressing the balance. As I reflect on this a day later, I’m conflicted. I’m ecstatic about how it ended and I couldn’t be happier for Alisson. I’m also concerned and pissed off that it came down to us needing him to do that. Against fucking West Brom. To go to Old Trafford and do what we did but then follow it up with this is troubling to me and doesn’t fill me with confidence for the final two games, because Burnley and Palace are both miles better than West Brom. What went wrong here? It’s difficult to say exactly because individually there were some really good performances. Trent was amazing again (shooting aside), Mo looked sharp and Thiago was completely dominant. We weren’t clinical enough of had some issues in the middle of the defence though, there’s no getting away from that. I’m not blaming either of the lads back there as quite frankly it’s astonishing to me that this kind of thing hasn’t happened more regularly. The reason I love Big Nat so much is because he’s performing way beyond how he should be. This kind of performance should be the norm based on his level. The fact it hasn’t been is great credit to him. Same with Williams. He hasn’t been exposed anywhere near as much as he probably should have been based on his inexperience. It worries me massively that the next two games might be when it finally happens though. If West Brom and Hal Robson-Kanu can expose them then Burnley and Chris Wood are going to be fancying their chances, and the idea of Zaha and Eze running at them and supplying balls for a rejuvenated Benteke on the last day fills me with dread. We’ll see though. At least we’ve got something to play for as a few weeks back it didn’t look like we would have. I think the biggest problem we had in this game was conceding first. You don’t want to let an Allardyce team take the lead. We conceded first at Old Trafford too but the difference was that they were trying to play football and weren’t just sitting back. West Brom had everyone behind the ball and were playing for flick ons and set-pieces. And it worked for them. Robson-Kanu got in behind to latch onto a flick on to fire them ahead. It was a lovely composed finish too. His first PL start in about four years and he does that. Against us. Typical. It was too easy how he got in though. Fabinho didn’t win the header in midfield, Williams came out to close down Pereira but he just knocked it around the corner first time which took Rhys out of the play, and Robson-Kanu ran into the space vacated. All of this would have been find if Phillips had held the line, but he’d dropped off a few yards and played Robson-Kanu onside. Something similar happened in the second half too and Alisson needed to make a sharp save. Like I say though, the only surprise is that it hasn’t happened more confidence considering the inexperience of the lads back there. We were mostly on top but the game was more or less an exact replica of most of the ones we’ve seen in 2021. Lots of the ball, some good chances, plenty of frustration. And then we made the breakthrough. West Brom aren’t happy about it and it’s easy to see why. No-one seems to know exactly what the ref was doing but it seems that he should have given a drop ball instead of a free-kick. I don’t think Mike Dean blew for a foul on Fabinho. I’m fairly sure he blew because HE had obstructed him. Similar to when a referee unintentionally touches the ball he now stops and gives a free-kick. What he did was not correct decision by the letter of the law but it was morally the correct call because it was effectively the same as if he’d got in the way of a pass. I wouldn’t see it that way if I was a West Brom fan though. I get why they would be pissed off about it but that’s the only thing they had any right to feel aggrieved over as Dean was giving them free-kicks any time one of our lads went within breathing distance of them. Yet again we had three times the amount of possession and three times the amount of fouls conceded. Absolute joke. The ‘goal’ they had disallowed was absolutely the correct call and it was so obvious that VAR only needed one look at it. The angle behind the goal shows how their lad was directly in front of Alisson and completely obscuring his view. Alisson barely even moved towards the ball because he couldn’t see it. If that fat cunt Allardyce wants to be angry at someone then it should be his lazy arsed striker who failed to get himself back onside. Good job by the linesman and by whoever was on VAR. Actually, I say ‘good’ job but that’s just giving them credit just for doing their job. It wasn’t a difficult decision but they get so much wrong that whenever they get something right I feel relieved. Ok that’s not fair actually. I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating. Lino’s are for the most part really fucking good. It’s a difficult job but they get most things right. It’s the other clowns that cause the problem 99% of the time. The linesman flagged straight away and told Dean what he’d seen. VAR looked at the replay and agreed. Nothing to see here, move along. Except no-one did want to move along. Not Fat Sam, and not Sky. Carragher kept saying “I wouldn’t have been happy if that had gone against me”. I don’t get that. He’s a fucking defender. Our defence pushed out, caught the lad well offside stood right in the middle of the goal blocking the keeper’s view. If that had gone against him as a defender he’d have gone batshit. Not sure why he’s talking about it from an attacking point of view. It’s not that long since he retired but sometimes it’s like he’s completely forgotten who he was as a player. Like when Souey is getting all judgemental about tackling. I’m the first to admit when we’ve gotten lucky with a decision but this wasn’t that. Its just not a goal, simple as that. Anyway, even though it was the right call it was still a let off because we’re usually on the wrong end of any kind of ‘judgement’ call. So I did feel relieved and was thinking it might be just what we needed to go on and win the game. We did in the end, but fuck me that was a tough watch. The longer the second half went the more pissed off I was getting. Breaking point came when Wijnaldum shot over the bar really late on. I was fucking seething, not specifically with Gini but with the team as a whole because all season they’ve missing the target in good situations. Trent had done the same minutes earlier. It feels like Salah is the only one who can fucking shoot anymore (and even he can be erratic). I agreed with Shaq being brought on but I wouldn’t have subbed Curtis. I’d have hooked Mané as he was doing my head in. You act like that the other night and then THIS is your response when you get back in the team? Foolishly, before the game I was really confident that he’d go out there and be the old Sadio and win the game for us. That second half was torture to watch. Just so frustrating and I felt utterly helpless as our season died a slow, drawn out death in front of our eyes. As time ticked away I did something I never normally do. Because I’m watching on the laptop using my mum’s sky log in there is a delay of about a minute, which means the lads in the group chat who are watching on telly are all ahead of me. So I usually only look at my phone at half time and full time to avoid spoilers. In my mind this one was over as it ticked into the fourth minute of stoppage time. I’d written this one off. The game, the season. Over. And I was fuming and looking to let off steam. Not sure exactly what I said but it was along the lines of “sick of these cunts never hitting the target” and no sooner had I hit send then all hell broke loose with everyone making comments like “bwahahahahahahahahaha” “get iiiiiiinnnnnnnn” and then bizarrely (for this chat anyway) “God is indeed good then”. So I knew we’d scored but I didn’t know what had happened. Then I saw Alisson trotting forward for a corner and the “God is good” comment suddenly struck me. He couldn’t, could he? Yes, he fucking could. I feel a little bit cheated due to the element of surprise being taken away. It was my own fault as I should have waited until full time, but even though the moment was tarnished a little it was still fucking incredible. I doubt we’ll ever seen anything like that again in our lifetimes. Let’s face it, it’s never happened to us before and the club is almost 130 years old. This is something we’ll remember for the rest of our lives. It’s an iconic moment in the history of the club. Ok, it didn’t bring us a trophy, but our season was on the line as we simply have to get into that top four for all sorts of reasons. We need to be in the Champions League and we also need the fucking money. Not winning this game would have been massively deflating and would have had serious implications for the future in terms of our ability to improve the squad. It was a goal that meant something, and who knows, if we do make the top four then next year we might actually win the thing again, in which case how significant will this goal look then? We’ve still got two more must win games for that to happen and Burnley away has the potential to be really tough as they’ve been doing well recently and it’s never an easy place to go. They’ll have fans in there too, which complicates things further. These last two wins though do seem to suggest we’ve got momentum on our side again at long last. We’re down to the bare bones though and have now lost Jota. The bench is pretty threadbare so the lads who are starting now will need to dig deep and power through the last couple of games. Resting players isn’t really an option now. The good thing is that the midfield is functioning well at the moment. Fabinho going back in there has really allowed Thiago to flourish and he was fucking brilliant in this game. Wherever the ball is, Thiago never seems to be more than 10-15 yards away from it. He covers an incredible amount of ground and he’s really starting to dictate the play. Some of his passing was imperious in this game. Getting Gini back in there with him and Fabinho at Turf Moor gives me added confidence. Defensively it’s the type of game that should suit our inexperienced centre backs too as they are more suited to an aerial barrage than speedsters running in behind them, but West Brom’s direct approach caused problems so who knows. So ultimately, as usual, it’s going to come down to what the front three do and whether they take their chances. We all loved the way this game finished and we’ll savour it for a long time but there is a bigger picture here. I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ but it needs saying. Alisson scoring the winner isn’t really ideal is it? He’s not there to do that and the fact he needed to doesn’t reflect well on those who are actually there to score goals. I thought Sadio did virtually nothing of any note once more. Bobby was actually involved quite a bit and his performance was fine, but he didn’t take the great chance he had and that could have been costly. Mo was sound, no complaints about him, but it would help massively if one of the midfielders could offer a threat. Curtis was neat and tidy but we need more. Same with Shaq when he came on. Alisson got his team-mates out of jail though because they shouldn’t need him to do that to beat a team that’s already been fucking relegated. When it’s all said and done though it doesn’t matter how we win these remaining games, just that we somehow find a way to do it. We’re not exactly charging towards the finish line but we’re nearly there and just need to dig deep for the final stretch. Star man is Alisson. In reality it was Thiago by a long fucking way, but after what Alisson did it has to be him. Still, Thiago is really starting to make an impact now and any concerns anybody (me included) had about his suitability to our set up have surely been eased now. I’m really looking forward to seeing him play live next season when we’re all back in and things are normal again. As much as this season just needs wiping from the memory, Alisson has ensured that it might just be remembered with some fondness after all now. What a moment that was. Still can’t believe it. Fucking hell. Hahahaha! Team: Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Phillips, R Williams (Wijnaldum), Robertson; Fabinho, Thiago, Jones (Shaqiri); Salah, Firmino, Mané:

Monday May 10: Alisson’s missus gives birth to their third child. Congratulations to them. Usually when a keeper becomes a dad there’s a joke to be made about the doctor handing him the baby and him dropping it. That doesn’t work with Alisson as his handling is really secure. What actually happened here though was the doc handed him the baby and he passed it straight to Che Adams. On a similar note, Perrie Edwards announces she’s pregnant, so at least we know Ox has been putting all that spare time to good use. Happy for him, he’s a sound lad and I’m sure he’ll be a great dad. Can’t see his kid growing up with a scouse accent though as he’s surely going to be off this summer. One of the lads always says that “he’s got West Ham stamped through him like a stick of rock” and that’s probably a good shout. Tuesday May 11: United lose at home to Leicester with a severely weakened team. No surprise here and while I have a big problem about the situation and decision making process that led to this happening, I don’t have any problem with the team that was picked tonight. What else was he supposed to do? Technically the title was still up for grabs if they could have won tonight, but he couldn’t just send out the same players who played at the weekend, especially as they play again on Thursday against us. It’s easy to say ‘he rested everyone to try and beat us’ but it’s not that simple. If they’d have been playing us tonight what would he have done? I don’t think the team would have been much different, because he needs to protect his players, especially with a European final coming up. I suspect his line up would have been a bit stronger than it was, but he wouldn’t have picked his best eleven because it would have been stupid to take that risk. The real problem here is that their fans caused our game to be postponed and as a result of that, Leicester benefited from it and we suffered (West Ham and Chelsea as well to some degree). United themselves suffered too because they were unable to drag the title race out a little further. Of course City were going to win it at some point but they have been stalling lately and if United had kept the pressure on for another week you never know. At least make them win it on the pitch. They couldn’t do that because they had to play three games in five days and the middle one was always going to give Solskjaer a huge problem. So the real villains here are the mutants that invaded the pitch, the PL for re-scheduling for this week because they didn’t want to inconvenience West Brom (who were clearly going to be already down anyway) and Sky. Why Sky? Because the PL should have just awarded us the points but that was never going to happen because it’s Sky’s biggest game of the season and they would not have allowed that to happen. If we miss out on the top four, which now looks almost certain, it’s our own fault for losing all those home games. This didn’t help though and it leaves a sour taste in the mouth. We need a miracle now. Wednesday May 12: And we got one! Arsenal actually did a thing. ARSENAL! Can you believe that? They went to Chelsea and won, and now Chelsea are really going to have to sweat for their top four spot. If we win our last four games that will be enough, barring a freak situation in which Leicester beat Spurs by a landslide and we get screwed by goal difference. Chelsea play Leicester next so whatever happens in that game we’re going to be able to catch one of those two as long as we take care of our own business. Easier said than done of course, especially considering where we go tomorrow night. The kids are in another youth cup final after coming from a goal down to win 2-1 at Ipswich tonight. They weren’t good in the first half and I didn’t think they were at their best in the second either, but they did enough and goals from Musialowski and substitute Frauendorf saw them through. The players I was most looking forward to watching weren’t really on their game but Quansah at the back was brilliant. I like the look of him. Big fan of James Norris at left back too. Can’t wait for the final now, I love the youth cup. Probably going to play Villa, who face West Brom in the other semi. Also today, Virg does an interview with the club tv channel and reveals he isn’t going to the Euros and wants to get himself right for pre-season. I don’t think this was ever really in doubt was it? To have any chance of making the Euros he’d have needed to play for us and he’s nowhere near. Gomez is the same, but Hendo apparently still has a chance. He won’t play for us but he’d be fit to play for England and he’d be nice and rested too. I think he’ll go, although I’d much rather he didn’t. Robbo is the one that really concerns me as he’s had no rest all season and will then run himself into the ground for Scotland before having a couple of weeks off and doing it all over again. Thursday May 13: Mancs 2 L 4. Get the fuck in. That felt so good and not just because it kept us alive in the fight for the Champions League. It was just so sweet knocking them off after all the shite their fans were pulling again. Home game two nights ago, not a fucking peep. Liverpool come to town and it turns into an episode of Line of Duty with the fucking OCG trying to hijack an AC12 transport. Those photos online of the team bus being stopped by cars were just nuts. They let the tyres down on the bus too, trying to stop them reaching Old Trafford. Apparently THIS is about getting the Glazers out? I’m struggling to join those dots if I’m honest. If the goal is to stop games going ahead, where were these fucking mutants the other night when they played Leicester? Or the other week when they had a Europa League semi? And if this is a protest about billionaires and the greed in football, then singing songs mocking unemployment and poverty is probably going to undermine that message just a tad, don’t you think lads? The answer to that is obviously that no, they don’t think at all. About anything. The fucking helmets. Manchester having a higher unemployment rate and arguably more poverty than Merseyside seems lost on these cunts. “We decide when you play” is their latest, self indulgent, deluded arrogant shout. Right up there with “we’re Man United, we’ll do what we want”. I can’t stress this strongly enough. Fuck those cunts. Fuck their fight against the Glazers. Fuck absolutely everything about that. Now, before, after, forever. I do love that the bus they stopped was a decoy though. Klopp said that they didn’t see any trouble and had an uneventful journey into the stadium, so that suggests the police knew what was going on, sent a second bus along the route and then took the real bus a different way. Not even going to say much about the game as it’s been covered in the match report. One thing I didn’t say in there though was that Mo was understatedly fucking brilliant tonight. If he hadn’t scored that goal late on not much would have been said about him but even aside from that he was great. Some of his control was out of this world, he worked his bollocks off and his decision making was superb. Some of those counter attacks we had were great and a lot of it was down to Mo laying it off first time or generally playing the right pass. He was terrific. Fully deserved his moment at the end and having scored three in his last two Old Trafford appearances hopefully he’s put that hoodoo behind him. Friday May 14: What is it about the press in this country (and probably others I assume) that everything has to be a fucking soap opera. There were so many things to focus on from last night but the first thing Klopp was asked was about Sadio blanking him at the end. He’d answered it three or four times after the game, but it was still the first thing he was asked in his press conf today. And as if that wasn’t annoying enough, even after he’d answered it he STILL got asked about it again by that fat fuck ‘Moose’ from Talksport. It’s ridiculous. I’m not saying it wasn’t a story and yeah, we were all interested in it at the time and wanted to know what was behind it, but to still be dragging it out, looking for more gossip for Jim fucking White to get milage out of is just grim. That Talksport goon ‘Moose’ even tried to justify his stupid question by adding “if I disrespected my boss like that I’d be in trouble”. Klopp just said “I feel sorry for you then” before pointing out that when he was a player he’d lose his head all the time and it’s not a big deal. Sadio looked like a petulant little tit last night but if you speak to anyone at Melwood (or new Melwood, whatever its called) they’ll tell you he’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. When he arrives for training he goes in to see everybody and (pre-covid) would greet everyone with a hug. Sports Science people, cleaners, canteen staff, everyone loves Sadio because he’s got time for everyone. But he’s also a hothead. He doesn’t lose it often but when he does he proper loses it and can’t contain himself. We saw it at Burnley last year. That was hilarious because we were top of the league and everything was great. Him doing that the other night in a season when he’s been shite and the team hasn’t been much better means we find it much harder to laugh it off. Ultimately though it’s got fuck all to do with any of us and the only thing that matters is what Klopp thinks, and he clearly does not give a flying fuck about it and if anything he tried to take the blame for it because he didn’t handle ‘dropping’ Sadio the way he normally would. I’m increasingly coming to the belief that these press conferences are a total waste of time as 90% of the questions are pointless and irrelevant and you can see Klopp's visible disdain. Its probably the worst thing he has to do all week. And the Champions League ones when they let the overseas journey ask questions are even worse. Especially the fucking Spanish who only ever want to get people to talk about how massive Real Madrid and Barcelona are. Meanwhile, I watched the other youth cup semi tonight and Villa comfortably saw off West Brom. They added another four to their total and they’ve scored a shitload of goals in this competition. That Louie Barry kid who scored against our first team in the FA Cup is their star player. That’s going to be a really difficult game for us in the final. Should be full of goals though. …. and that was the week that was.