Leaderboard

Saturday Jan 19: L 4 Palace 3 I hope this is a one off as if this is how it’s going to be between now and May I can’t deal with it. The scrappy 1-0 is stressful enough, but this? I thought we’d left these games behind when we signed Big Virgil. In fairness, everything does point to this being an aberration as we’ve been solid all season and Palace scored from basically every attack they had. It had the definite whiff of ‘fluke’ about it, but with the stakes being so high we’re probably going to have get used to some mad shit going down. So in a way, it’s kind of encouraging that we haven’t forgotten how to win 4-3. It didn’t look right defensively at all. We didn’t exactly give up a load of chances but that’s mainly because Palace wouldn’t come out of their own half for most of the game. When they did, it was panic stations. Matip didn’t take care of his business (kept losing flick ons to Ayew and then when Wickham came on it was a total mismatch physically) while Milner was given a chasing by Zaha. I posted on Twitter afterwards that Zaha is the best player outside the top six and if he was at United or Arsenal he’d be their best player. I may have gone a little overboard on the latter, as Rashford, Aubameyeng and Lacazette are all probably better, but I stand by the overall point. He’s brilliant. Throw all the stats at me you like about his goals and assists, but I don’t give a fuck. I’ll go on what my eyes tell me, and my eyes tell me that he’s a special talent. You’ll struggle to find anyone that will put up big numbers for goals and assists playing in that Palace team, for that manager, and with no recognised centre forward to play off. Is he brilliant every week? No. But very few players are. When you’ve got other top players around you it doesn’t matter so much. When you’re the big fish in the little pond it stands out more when you aren’t delivering every game. My personal feeling is if he goes to a top club he’ll be fantastic as it will be much easier for him than it is now, when opposing managers know they only need to stop him to stop Palace. I might be wrong, and those of you who think he’s over-rated and not consistent enough might be right, but we won’t know until if and when he gets a big move, because it’s impossible to judge properly when he’s playing for Roy Hodgson. I’d be happy to see Zaha at Anfield but I highly doubt it will happen as he’ll cost a fortune. Maybe Chelsea will use the cash they get for Hazard to finance a move for Zaha, or maybe Spurs will finally loosen the purse strings and make a move. I’d take that Wan-Basaka too. Impressed with him again today, he’d be a useful player to have around, competing with Trent and freeing up Gomez to play full time in the centre. If Clyne does well at Bournemouth, maybe Palace would be up for a part ex deal? Sunday Jan 20: The Timo Werner links are back. He’s running down his contract at Leipzig by the looks of it, so they might cash in this summer. Bayern want him, as do Juve (has anyone told them he's not on a freebie for another year?) and so does Klopp apparently. I don’t want him. Partly because he was shite at the World Cup and it put me off him (I know that shouldn’t be a factor, but what can I say, I’m fickle like that), but also because by all accounts he’s shite out wide and needs to play centrally. We’ve got Mo there now and Bobby as well. We need someone to replace Sturridge as the back up, and Werner isn’t going to do that, so for that reason I’m out. Buy my boy Wilf instead! Lot of talk today about Milner being sent off by his former school teacher yesterday. Big deal. That’s nothing to what I had to deal with from my junior school PE teacher, who is the only (yes, that's right, ONLY) reason I never had a career in football. He was one fucking bastard him. Mr Gerrard was his name and I’ll never forgive him for the pain and mental anguish he caused me as a promising 9 year old with the world at his feet. I’d earned my place in the school team by having a stormer in the trials but a few days before the first game I got caught out not doing my reading homework. Not only did he drop me from the team, but the sadistic cunt handed me a pen and made me go into the corridor and cross my own name of the team sheet. I never played for the school team after that and when I got to senior school we didn’t even have a team, so that was basically the end of my career. He also made me do laps of the playing field once because I gave him the eyes and sent him the wrong way with a penalty and made him look like a twat in front of the other kids. Action man headed, roley smoking, motor bike riding shitbag. Fuck you Mr Gerrard. Fuck you. Monday Jan 21: Glen Johnson announces retirement. Had no idea he was even still playing. He was alright for us, never lived up to his price tag but he wasn’t bad. Just a bit of a waster. He was one of those players who I always felt should have been much better than he was. Loads of ability but just a bit too laid back for me. Tell you something though, if Klopp got his hands on a 23 year old Glen Johnson now he’d turn him into some fucking player. The way the game is now with these quick, attacking full backs, Johnson probably feels his career came 10 years too soon. It got me thinking; who from that era would be best suited to playing in this team? Obviously Gerrard and Carragher could play in any team, but who else? I reckon Torres would be shite because everything always needed to go through him and the only person he ever linked up with was Stevie. Alonso was great but probably isn’t mobile enough for the present team, so the main one for me is probably Mascherano. Imagine him playing Hendo’s role in this team. He’d be incredible. Pepe before he got fat and couldn’t dive would be great too. Tuesday Jan 22: I saw Jon Obi Mikel was trending on Twitter today, so clicked on it to see what’s what and it’s because he is off to Boro. Slow news day on Twitter obviously. Can’t think of a more Tony Pulis signing to be honest though. Complete shite, but a big bastard. The Pulis Prototype. He probably lists both those requirements to his scouting team. Reports today claim that we’re set to become the first club to turn a €100m profit in a single year. It means nothing to me as it’s not as though any of it trickles down to the fans, but it did make me laugh seeing some fans on twitter buzzing off it like it’s some great achievement. We sold one of our best players for a massively inflated sum. It’s a one off. We’re still not in the same ball park as United when it comes to turnover, but that’s ok as we don’t need to be. I don’t see how this is seen as some sort of justification of what a great job FSG are doing though. I’m not having a go at them, but the only thing this tells me is that Klopp is doing an incredible job. He reached a Champions League final and he has us top of the league, despite not needing to spend like a billionaires wife to do it. Meanwhile, one of the most irksome things about modern footy is that retired refs have been given a platform to spout shite. It’s bad enough when they’re just talking about officiating, but some of them go beyond that. Clattenberg is as bad as there is because he seems to think his opinion on football counts for something. It doesn’t. You were a good ref but you took the money and left us with the Jon Mosses of this world, so don’t come back here spouting shite as no-one cares what you think. I mean look at the state of this shite he's spouting about Mo: “He tries to deceive the referee because he’s Liverpool's penalty taker. He will dive knowing he has a free shot at goal. He is then likely to increase his chances of winning the Golden Boot." He’s been over in Dohar with Sasquatch and Tefal hasn’t he? I mean where else would you get that kind of shitty hot take. Mo Salah is so desperate to win the Golden Boot that he’ll do anything to get penalties? So, explain him giving one away to Bobby then? No, Mo Salah is diving to get penalties because he’s trying to win games and he discovered to his cost last season that you can’t trust refs to punish fouls unless you make a meal of them. Everyone else is doing it so frankly I don’t give a shit. Keep on diving Mo, just don’t get caught. Good win for the kids in the youth cup tonight, as a Paul Glatzel hat-trick helped them to a 4-0 win at Accrington. The treble puts him one ahead of Bobby Duncan now (who laid on a couple of his goals tonight) and it's been good watching both of them this year. Duncan has the reputation and the pedigree, but based solely on watching them both play there looks to be virtually nothing between them. Wednesday Jan 23: Poor Emiliano Sala is still missing after his plane disappeared over the Channel yesterday, but that didn’t stop Ronaldo from posting a selfie on a private plane to celebrate the fact he’s been given a massive fine rather than a jail sentence for his tax evasion. I think we might have just hit peak Ronaldo with this you know. There’s no malice in him but he’s the most self absorbed man on the planet. Also today, Richarlison: "I do not have the desire to play in a specific league. The best league in the world is the Premier League and I'm happy here in England. Here, there are the best players in the world, the league is very difficult, is the most difficult, there are practically seven teams competing for the title. I'm very happy here." Wait wait wait… slow down there cowboy. SEVEN teams? There’s actually two, but if he’s talking in broader teams then I suppose you could say there are six teams who, in theory, if everything fell into place, could be challenging for it. Who’s the seventh though? Leicester won it a couple of years ago but that’s not who he’s talking about is it? He means Everton. He’s not daft enough to actually say it, but he’s smart enough to have implied it just to play to the gallery. Can't wait to hear what he says when they lose at Millwall in the cup this weekend. Thursday Jan 24: Markovic scored for the u23s as they beat Swansea 2-0. Barely seen him for months and now that the window is open suddenly he’s playing and scoring for the ressies. Not that I'm complaining, anything that helps him on his way is all gravy. One of the best things LFCTV do are those 'Bezzies' features. Last week it was Robbo and Milner and it was brilliant, and today it was Ox and Brewster which might have been even better. Ox singing the entire Allez Allez Allez song was a highlight, but they both came across as sound lads. Ox is great, but we knew that already. I thought Rhian seems like a great kid though, and very humble. You can see how he looks up to Ox but also that Ox loves him. Friday Jan 25: Fucks sake. The injury to Gomez was worse than they let on and he’s not even close to coming back. He isn’t even training yet. Trent is touch and go for next week too, so I reckon we might see Gini at right back. That’s if he’s recovered from injury of course. It’s catching up with us, but at least we’ve hardly got any games in the next few weeks. Imagine if we were playing FA Cup this weekend, or if we’d reached the league cup semis. We’d be fucked. It’s something that needs addressing this summer, because unless we’re happy to just forfeit the cups every year then we need to upgrade on these players we’ve got on the fringes now as we can't compete. Lallana, Sturridge, Moreno and Origi are all pretty much useless due to varying reasons. I’d be fine with just promoting some kids and letting them play the cups, as at least if we lose there’s still something to be gained from it. Right now it’s pretty much a waste of everybody’s time. In sombre news today, police have called off the search for the missing plane that was carrying the Cardiff lad, and the likes of Messi and Maradona are kicking off about it. Not being funny like, but if they feel so strongly about it they should send the families the money to pay for it. It’s hard enough getting Messi to even pay his taxes though, so I won’t hold my breath on that. Meanwhile, the Mancs winning streak continues as they easily see off Arsenal at the Emirates. They played well, I can’t pretend they didn’t. Tell you something though, Arsenal are an absolute joke. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team more wide open to counter attacks. It’s been like this for years, they just let teams break on them at will. They’re shit. That entire team needs rebuilding (they’ve got two good forwards but that’s it) but they’re skint. It’s going to be a long road back for them I think. The war of words between DT and Goldbridge has intensified after this. Those two have been going at it for months as Goldbridge keeps needling him and DT (who could do with some anger management classes) keeps rising to it. It wasn’t just Goldbridge that got him all hot under the collar tonight though…. To be fair I can 100% relate to that as there is no-one I’d want to slap more than that Lingard cunt. If he scores the winner against us in a few weeks and does some stupid dance, I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope you know. DT is a bad gobshite but I'm with him all the way on this. If Lingard ever moonwalked in front of the Kop like he did at the Emirates tonight, I'd expect one of our players to fuck him right up. That was the week that was...

We are Liverpool. This means more. When the club rolled out its latest marketing slogan to accompany the yearly jersey refresh, I cringed a bit. ‘People are going to have a field day with that,’ I thought. Nobody does self-reverence like the Reds and, even from the inside looking out, it can be a bit much. For me, it’s like Ric Flair, to this day, walking around saying: “To be The Man, you gotta beat The Man.” Well, like Flair, we’ve had our moments, but we haven’t been The Man in about 30 years. This means more? Tell that to fans of clubs around the nation for whom very little means more than a crest on a jersey. Sure, they may not have our story – our highest highs and our most desperate lows – but it’s friends, it’s family, it’s work, it’s play, it’s life. Just like us. No more, no less. Which brings us to Palace on Saturday. This is the type of game Kopites have often had to gee ourselves up for, knowing there’s little at stake beyond the best-loser award that clears a path to European riches and maybe some new signings. Those games where short-sleeved August optimism has long been replaced by the cold, dark realisation that another year in the trenches beckons. Not this year though. I’ve been away for a couple of months, but the anticipation before going into the ground and the nervous energy before kick off and throughout the first half just felt different. Speaking to a mate at half time, neither of us could really get the words out. The clouds had descended; logic and trust had been abandoned. No-way we were getting two in 45 minutes. We’d seen this movie before, dozens of times. I’m not sure I’ve celebrated an equaliser that wildly since Xabi slotted the rebound in Istanbul. The sense of relief was tangible, building from the initial cheer into a visceral roar – part joy, part excitement, part acknowledgement that things really could be different this time. Five minutes later, all bets were off. The belief we’d prematurely abandoned had been fully restored; not over 45 minutes, but in eight. 4-3 at the final whistle. Palace at home in January and we’re living and dying on every rotation of the ball. This clearly means more than it has. Anfield’s a really different place these days isn’t it? And I suppose a lot of that is down to Klopp. Not getting to the games as often as you’d like, you notice micro changes on a macro scale. Something that’s been building over months is so much more apparent when you’ve been away for it. The place is undeniably a fortress again. It’s intimidating, it’s loud, and it’s raucous and it’s one. Social media and that fella literally bouncing around Europe with the acoustic guitar helps, but there’s more enthusiasm for creating new songs as I can remember and everyone knows the words to them. I’m also struggling to recall us having a team where everyone was so damn likeable. There isn’t a single member of that squad who seems like he isn’t a great lad and, again, that’s down to Klopp and the characteristics he looks for in a player. I love them all (even Lovren) and haven’t felt this connected to the team since GH and the boys were swaying in front of us, arm in arm at Dortmund’s Westfalenstadion in 2001 – seven years before Klopp turned up there and changed everything too. Look, there have been title chases before. Those aren’t new. People will mention 1997, 2002, 2009 and 2014, which prefaced everything immediately falling apart thereafter. Perhaps as a direct result – none of those felt the way it does today; six whole days before our next game at home to Leicester. It’s become difficult to focus on anything else between games now. The wait between City away and Brighton was agonising. I even surprised myself with the vociferous scream when Mo’s pen hit the net. Every game’s going to be like that now: Anticipation, crippling anxiety and maybe even a few moments of enjoyment along the way. Another 15 like Palace and Brighton await… each meaning more than the last. 13/14 was different. It was a self-professed “dream” none of us saw coming, rather than an expectation. A wild ride that soared and crashed in such an unspeakably cruel manner I’d resigned myself to that being our lot in life. Today, there’s both determination and an expectation that we can finally shed this almighty burden, along with the ghosts of ‘The Slip’ and ‘4th Place in a Two Horse Race.’ Forget the romantic notions. I’m not daring to dream, I'm just desperate to get it done. And if it happens everything before will have been worth it. So yeah, the club wasn’t far off with that slogan after all. Just not in the way it intended. We are Liverpool. This means more. Chris Smith