Tim Sherwood always feels like he’s ten feet tall, but this week he must be thinking he’s King Kong after going to his old club Spurs and turning them over. Everyone takes the piss out of him for his boasts about his “59% win percentage” as Spurs boss, but he’s the one laughing now after going back to White Hart Lane and beating them.
Those Spurs fans had no idea what they had and they wanted him out. He even got booed by them at a testimonial at the end of last season. Well be careful what you wish for, losers. They should have been having a minute’s applause in the 59th minute for Tim’s win percentage, the ungrateful fucks, but I'm sure he’ll be happy enough with the three points that Benteke’s fine header gave them. All joking aside, what he’s done at Villa is incredible because prior to his arrival they were nailed on to go down as they were utterly abject. Be honest, who thought he would be able to save them? No-one, apart from Tim himself obviously, he probably thinks he can win the title next year.
The lack of leadership in that Spurs team is obvious though isn’t it? Harry Kane is their captain which shows there’s a leadership void, but let’s not forget that at the start of the season their skipper was Younes Kaboul!! Even more laughable, you know who the vice captain was? Adebayor!! Pocchetino picks captains like Sunderland pick managers.
Elsewhere, Arsenal made it eight wins in a row by edging out Burnley at Turf Moor. Nothing further to add except the obvious, "fuck off Arsenal".
West Brom went old school for their game with Leicester to commemorate winning the FA Cup in 1968. They wore a replica of the kit they had back then and the players were even numbered one to eleven, which was quite cool I thought. MOTD even got in on the act by going with grainy black and white footage as the players came out of the tunnel and was all very nicely done. Sadly not one of the gobshite players had the good grace to wear black boots though.
Leicester spoiled the party by coming back from 2-1 down to win it with two goals in the last ten minutes. Fletcher had given the home side the lead before Nugent equalised. Gardner restored West Brom’s advantage but the game turned on a ridiculous piece of play by Berahino, who completely ignored a clean through Gardner and instead hit a powder puff shot from 25 yards. Outrageously greedy that, which should surprise no-one as he’s an Aidy Ward client.
A goal then would have killed Leicester off and West Brom paid dearly for it as Huth equalised and then Vardy produced a brilliant solo effort to win it in stoppage time.
Leicester have won two on the bounce and suddenly have a chance of sneaking out of it. Five of their last seven are at home and their run in is easier than most. I’d want them to stay up if it wasn’t for Pearson. I just can’t root for that guy, he’s a massive tool and a bully. One of my mates described him as “the kind of fella who holds onto your hand for too long during a handshake”. I think that’s a perfect summation of him really.
If West Brom went down it would be quite hilarious given how everyone says appointing Pulis is a guarantee of survival. They’ve got the toughest run in and aren’t safe yet. Just like last year the fight to stay up is going to be great entertainment this season.
Sunderland were the big winners this time last year when they went on a mad run to save themselves. Can't see it happening again though, I mean fucking hell, how bad are they? I wrote last week how their hopelessness is giving encouragement to other sides at the bottom, but they’re even worse than I thought. You’d think that beating Newcastle might have gotten them back on track a little, but then BOOM!! Just like that they’re 4-0 down at home to Palace. De ja vu for the Mackems as a similar thing happened against Villa the other week. The difference is this time they at least got to half time at 0-0 before completely falling apart.
Glen Murray headed Palace in front from a Bolasie cross before Bolasie himself then bagged a hat-trick. Murray comes across like a bad knobhead though, he was giving it loads to the Sunderland fans after his goal and just seems like a bit of a twat.
I’m still not prepared to accept Bolasie is any good as he’s just too unorthodox looking for me, a lot of what he does just seems kind of lucky, but I do like the fact he wears plain black boots. That counts for a lot in my book, and he was brilliant in this game to be fair. He might be better than I’m giving him credit for. Might.
What is it with Sunderland though? They really shouldn’t be as shit as they always seem to be. They’re a big club who spend a fair amount of dough, but they’re always in relegation battles. They should be finishing around 10th each year but for whatever reason they just suck. And right now John O’Shea is by far the worst player in the Premier League. It's not even close.
Elsewhere, Southampton beat Hull 2-0 at St Mary’s and the goalscorers were…. Ward-Prowse and Pelle. Well of course they were, as in last week's round up the day before I’d been taking the piss out of both of them for their goal droughts. I guess that’s on me, sorry about that.
Watching the highlights of this one and Hull’s keeper had come out of his goal to remonstrate a decision by the ref (Pelle had only been yellow carded for a forearm smash into the face of Alex Bruce, who with a few more like that will end up with a parsnip nose like his old man). “Kinell, look at Shay Given there, he’s starting to look his age a bit now” I thought. A few minutes later I hear the commentator say “Steve Harper got a hand to it but couldn’t keep it out”. Oh yeah, Steve Harper! Bet he gets that all the time, “hey aren’t you that keeper who played for Newcastle?” “Yeah that’s right I’m Steve Harper” “Errrr... yer wha?”
I never realised just how much trouble Hull were in though until this week. I was under the impression they were around 14th in the table, on the cusps of the relegation battle but just a win or two away from safety. They’re actually fourth from bottom, below Sunderland and on a worse run than almost everyone else around them. They’re only three points off bottom place too.
Stoke and West Ham played out a 1-1 draw at Upton Park. Cresswell’s free-kick gave the Hammers the lead and then Stoke battered them but just couldn’t find an equaliser. Arnautovic had two goals ruled out for offside but eventually got one to count with the last kick of the game.
Stoke have got a centre back called Wollscheid which Motson pronounced as “Well shite”. Following in a well established Stoke tradition there isn’t he?
Speaking of well shite, Everton were last on MOTD again as they drew at Swansea. Aaron Lennon’s second goal in consecutive away games (maintaining his career average of two goals a season) put the Blues ahead but Jonjo equalised from the penalty spot having earlier had a screamer harshly ruled out. Is it just me or has Martinez aged 10 years this season?
Onto Sunday now and Chelsea took another step towards the title with an unconvincing, somewhat fortunate victory at QPR. It does my head in really, I mean I don’t want to see them playing great football and hammering teams, but it’s even more galling seeing them playing so shite and still winning. They should be so much better than they are but that’s Mourinho for you. He’d rather win ugly, the massive shithouse.
I mentioned last week that Chelsea winning the league is more palatable to me than Arsenal or United doing it, and I say that even though I despise Chelsea more than either of the other two. It’s just that Chelsea winning the league means nothing really, people are like “yeah big whoop, you should be winning it, what do you want, a cookie?”. I don’t think I could cope if Arsenal won it, and it would be even worse if the Mancs did given that a lot of us thought they were completely fucked this season.
It’s all City’s fault that I’m even having to contemplate that doomsday scenario. Those mercenary gobshites can’t even get themselves up for a Manc derby now, embarrassing themselves at Old Trafford despite taking the lead early on. They’re an absolute fucking disgrace those players, none more than Yaya Toure. What’s his fucking problem, did they forget his birthday again or something? Poor old Fernandinho (or is it Fernando, to tell the truth I have no idea which ones which, it’s like when McCarthy and McCarthur were both in Wigan’s midfield) is having to put in a double shift every week as Yaya clearly doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Bet he’s ace again next season when they get a new manager though.
It’s completely soul destroying that United are back in the top four though. After last season and then the way they were playing for most of this one it really did look like they were on the brink of becoming… well becoming us, but here they are four points above City and sitting comfortably in third. They aren’t doing anything special either, it’s very much meat and potatoes. Get it wide and then sling it into the box to the big bogbrush. Maybe if Moyes had been allowed to do that he’d still have the job. Ah good old Moyesy… I miss him almost as much as I miss Suarez.
Dave
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