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2nd Round: AFC Wimbledon vs MK Dons Brighton (or fucking Woking) v FC United (or whatever they're called) ooooo

Hello all. Right; Morris' script about British Jihads, having been turned down by the BBC and C4 as a series, is now being made by Warp Films as a feature length movie. The problem however is that no one will stump up the cash to fund it - if you remember Morris' last project with Warp (his short 'My Wrongs') was funded by the man himself. So, all other options exhausted it seems, Morris is now looking for donations in order to get it off the ground. They're looking for contributions between 25 and 100 pounds, which, although I'm not sure how this will work, will give the contributor the chance to appear in the film itself. An enquiry email to fundingmentalism@warpfilms.com gets you this stock email reply - Dear Lion At the moment the detonator’s going off and you’re part of it but until the effect has gone exponential, your mails are being sorted by one person so bear with me. Many people have asked us exactly what the Four Lions project is. Clearly we can’t launch the film before its been shot, but I’ve pulled together a few paragraphs from the paperwork that’s been flying around. Its shameless hype but its accurate – unlike almost everything you will have read in the press. No one who has read the script could disagree with a word here. In three years of research, Chris Morris has spoken to terrorism experts, imams, police, secret services and hundreds of Muslims. Even those who have trained and fought jihad report the frequency of farce. At training camps young jihadis argue about honey, cry for their mums, shoot each other’s feet off, chase snakes and get thrown out for smoking. A minute into his martyrdom video, a would-be bomber looks puzzled and says “what was the question again?” On millennium eve, five jihadis set out to ram a US warship. They slipped their boat into the water and carefully stacked it with explosives. It sank. Terrorist cells have the same group dynamics as stag parties and five a side football teams. There is conflict, friendship, misunderstanding and rivalry. Terrorism is about ideology, but it’s also about berks. Four Lions is a funny, thrilling fictional story that illuminates modern British jihad with an insight beyond anything else in our culture. It plunges us beyond seeing these young men as unfathomably alien. It undermines the folly of just wishing them away or alienating the entire culture from which they emerge. It understands how terrorism relates to testosterone. It understands jihadis as human beings. And it understands human beings as innately ridiculous. As Spinal Tap understood heavy metal and Dr Strangelove the Cold War, Four Lions understands modern British jihadis. As for your offer, we’re hoping to set up a one click pay scheme soon. We’ll let you know. Hope that helps Deirdre Steed. PS Please pass this on to ten more people. I'm going to contribute to this not as Chris Morris 'fanboy' nor as someone who fancies getting their name on a credit reel, but, with sounding too cuntish here, as someone who really wants to see this film made. As a rule I hate people calling films 'important', but if there's an important movie to be made right now then this is it. Plus of course, it sounds very fucking funny. Morris has written it with Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong (who've worked on Peep Show and The Thick Of It among other things) and it seems as though they're ready to shoot once the funding is in place. So give generously.

i was thinking about this the other day but after reading rushies column it was confirmed that we've never lost a league game when he's scored. what with becoming evertons tormentor in chief and this little ditty, the boys a bit special isnt he. commence homo erotic comments (about him)