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That is, Alan Sex and my Liverpool history. I recently learned some very interesting information about my heritage. No, I'm not Bill Shankly's love child - but my connection to all things Liverpool FC has grown just a bit stronger. Let's start at the logical place - the beginning. 1970. I was born at a very young age in Stafford, to parents that did not follow football at all. At the age of 4 we moved to Colwyn Bay - closer to my father's family in Anglesey. My father was a rugby man, so I did not have a football affiliation passed down to me. I fell in love with the game of football despite the protestations of my father, and as I grew older it made sense to me to follow the team that was the closest to me - Liverpool FC. (Of course, for those purists who are shouting "what about Wrexham?" or something similar - I'm not at all certain I knew Wrexham existed, let alone having a team!). So it was done. I had become a Liverpool FC fan. I followed them on the radio (I remember hiding under the covers after bedtime listening to European matches on the old wireless I got for Xmas one year) and TV every chance I got, and I staunchly represented the club in schoolyard matches and arguments. By the time my family emigrated to Canada (aged 12) I had only managed to see one live football match - Wales vs. Turkey (1-0 Wales on a Nick Deacy header). I have still not made the trip to Anfield - or back to the UK at all - although I will hopefully be able to rectify both things while Anfield still stands! Anyway, to cut a long story short I recently discovered a little information about my background that meant a lot to me. It seems that my maternal grandmother (Nain) was an orphan (not unusual in the earlier parts of the last century) who I had always assumed was from Anglesey like the rest of my father's family. Not so - it seems that my Nain's background was from Liverpool. Therefore I would like to declare that I, Alan Sex (not my real name, for those that are wondering) am 1/4 Liverpudlian. That might not seem like a big deal to a lot of you - but believe me, to discover at almost 38 years of age that I have more than just an emotional tie to the City of Liverpool - and furthermore Liverpool FC - means a heck of a lot to me.

mine is the usual...condoms. i'v tried all the usual ways around it, garage on the way home, pub toilets and what not. someone walked in the toilet in the pub and i felt a twat and i knew the girl in the garage. today i went to superdrug as they had a lad on the til and boots had 2 girls... so theres me in the que with a hand full of jondoms, second in line and some old dear comes and opens the second till and says 'next please'. she didn't even look at me and i didn't feel too bad until she said 'do you want a phone credit... the fact was i did and decided to get it there to save going to supercigs. the silly old woman left the screen on the till saying 'condoms'. i don't think anyone behind got onto it, atleast i hope they never. whats the most embarassing thing you've got from a shop? i'm guessing the ones with kids and stuff have the worst...