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I was approached today by a colleague who wants me to have a word with the girl who sits next to him about her trumping. She has switched to a healthy diet of lots of fruit and nuts etc and is apparently merrily (but silently) pumping away. She has a fan on her desk which wafts some of the offending arsegas away but some is fighting its way through to him. Everyone is too embarassed to say anything but as manager I have to act. Do I either go for the in yer face "eh stop it you filthy mare" approach or something more subtle. Before you ask she's a moose if that makes a difference. Help appreciated I'm in a dilemma here

Words of wisdom from our rich brainy footballing friends!! "My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7." David Beckham "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." Mark Viduka "Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had." David Beckham "If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." Neville Southall "I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable." Paul Gascoigne "I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well." Alan Shearer "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." Mark Draper "You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out." Peter Shilton "I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester." Stan Collymore "Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match." Ian Wright "I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier." Ugo Ehiogu "Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough." Jonathan Woodgate "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." Stuart Pearce "I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right." Lee Hendrie "I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." Ian Rush "Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today." Steve Lomas "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." Barry Venison "I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet." David Beckham "The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European." Phil Neville "All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed." Mitchell Thomas "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." Alan Shearer "I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd." Johnny Giles "Sometimes in football you have to score goals." Thierry Henry.