blackberryway

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave. The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate. On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other. The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The rabbi looked back and raised one finger. Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope brought out communion bread and a chalice of wine. The rabbi pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy. Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the bread and wine to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue." Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won. "I haven't a clue." the rabbi said. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here." "And then what?" asked a woman. "Who knows?" said the rabbi, "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."

Every single night, starting off in the pub....prior to children. X-Factor combined with the wit capacity of GF regulars should be worth staying in for.

X-Factor tomorrow.....please watch and be on GF at the same time to make LIVE Comments. Should be a laugh. Can you make it?

Perhaps you should email Jonathan Shalit with this interesting question. I feel sure he may well have the answer. Charlotte Church did call him a wanker, didn't she? He just could be a leading expert. He's sure to have an opinion. His company, R.O.A.R. give out an email address for queries on their site.

So did his pal Bill....who could have blown the rest of us up with him. Perhaps its' catching?

What's that stain in the centre of Jonathan Shalit's blue wait-coat with the fancy velvet trimming?

SHAILIT SPOTTING: Have YOU seen him out lunching? IF you do go up to him and say "SHALIT.....NO. Stop Eating All That Food. You are a TWAT." He lunches all the time all over the place. If you visit LOndon you are sure to see him stuffing his face. "I'm a showbiz legend in my own lunchtime... and lunch has to be at celebrity restaurant The Ivy" By JONATHAN SHALIT It was over lunch at The Ivy in 1993 that I persuaded the legendary Beatles producer Sir George Martin to work on a Larry Adler album I was trying to get off the ground. When, aged 31, I heard that the legendary harmonica virtuoso Larry Adler was nearing 80, I had the idea of a duets album in celebration. I arranged a meeting, persuaded him to let me take care of it, and then set about recruiting the best producer in the business. I managed to get hold of Sir George's number, cold-called him and pitched him my idea. Would he meet me in The Ivy to discuss it? Astonishingly, he agreed. In those days I did already regularly eat in the restaurant but always in the overflow area, at one of the tables next to the bar. In terms of status it was Siberia, but it was better than nothing. I called to book a table. 'Yes, of course Mr Shalit. Will your usual table be acceptable?' 'Actually, my guest will be George Martin ... ' 'I think we have a table in the main restaurant, Mr Shalit.' I had graduated. I can still recall what we ate - salmon fishcakes with sauteed spinach and sorrel sauce - and at the end of the lunch George said: 'Jonathan, I'm your man. Why don't you let me get the bill?' And I have never been banished to The Ivy's overflow area again. This is just as well since the restaurant, in the heart of the West End of London, is now important to my business. Who can say by what mysterious alchemy a restaurant becomes 'the' place to go, an institution beloved of the media and entertainment world? The Ivy is not flash or posh. The food is excellent but unpretentious. There are certainly many more expensive restaurants in London. I am in there at least four times a week, often more. Given that a good lunch is central to business, and given that business is booming, I concede that it is a challenge to maintain the athletic Iron Man physique for which I am known. Indeed, I use the restaurant so often - at least 1,000 times over the past five years - that the owner, Richard Caring, last week paid for an advert in Music Week, the music industry bible, paying tribute to me. You don't get that with McDonald's. To the outsider, the life of the showbusiness impresario looks like a helter-skelter swirl of glitz and glamour. And that's exactly what it is. My TV clients include Christopher Biggins, Emma Crosby, Kate Silverton, Kelly Brook, Konnie Huq, Michael Underwood and Myleene Klass. You couldn't call lunching with them a hardship. Myleene likes to tell the story - and who am I to stop her? - of how I approached her at the Classical Brits a few years ago and told her, 'You should be hosting this,' and two years later she was. Our courtship - I mean in a professional sense - was carried out at The Ivy. I have lost count of the number of times I've eaten in the restaurant with Kate Silverton. A great British girl, she always has the roast beef on a Sunday. N-Dubz, the new kings of Brit Pop, want to know why I haven't taken them to The Ivy. I've told them I will to celebrate their millionth CD sold, which will actually be in a few weeks. Jamelia used to ask me the same thing and she would get the same answer: 'When you've sold a million copies of your single, Superstar.' I kept my promise. I have actually met a president - Bill Clinton - when my former client Charlotte Church was invited to perform at the White House. He shook my hand, thanked me for taking the time to meet him - as if there was any chance that I would have refused the invitation - and then looked me in the eye and said: 'Tell me, Jonathan, what do you think of the single European currency?' Chris Eubank? My goodness, that man can talk. For me, lunch begins at 1pm and lasts until 2.30pm. But Chris, once he gets going, will not stop. I took him to The Ivy one day and it got to 2.30pm, but Chris was still in full flow. I said: 'Look Chris, I've got to go.' He ignored me. It got to 2.45pm. Business was going on elsewhere, without me. I can't bear that. 'Chris, I'm sorry but I've really got to go,' I said. 'Yes, of course, Jonathan, but just let me say... ' It got to 3pm. I said: 'Chris, look, this is me going,' and I got up and walked out - and he was still talking as I disappeared out of the door. I have long been a supporter of the Tories and I have arranged receptions at The Ivy for the then leaders of the Conservative Party - Michael Howard and Iain Duncan Smith - to meet the movers and shakers of the entertainment and media world. Boris Johnson was one of my guests. This was when the media world was still in love with Tony Blair. The Tories, I am glad to say, are now back in fashion. I have regular lunches there with Lord Strathclyde, the Tory leader in the House of Lords and an old friend of mine. I've also taken Culture Shadow Minister Ed Vaizey there. I once even managed to persuade the restaurant to temporarily go into the takeaway business. I was eating there with Ruthie Henshall, who had just opened in Peggy Sue Got Married, when I got a call from my then girlfriend, who worked at St Thomas' Hospital. She was complaining that she was going to have make do with a sandwich while I was enjoying bang bang chicken - chicken with hot chilli peanut sauce. I persuaded the maitre d' to make up a package of the dish for my girlfriend and send it to her. But I don't visit The Ivy only for business. One evening, while I was working on an MTV show, I went there with a new young lady friend. In the middle of our conversation, she looked up towards the entrance. 'Oh. My. God,' she mouthed at me. 'Ricky Gervais has just walked through the door.' 'Yes, that's marvellous,' I said, without enthusiasm before trying to steer the conversation back to us. 'Do you know him?' 'Yes, I know him,' I said. 'Nice guy. Now, as I was saying ... ' 'I mean, Ricky Gervais,' she continued. 'Like - wow!' At that very moment Ricky sat down at a table next to us and saw me - the man has impeccable timing. 'Hey, Jonathan, great to see you,' he boomed. And I have seen celebrities deep in discussions with agents who are not their own managers. I have sometimes been that manager myself. You see, it's all work, work, work with me." IT IS INDEED GREAT TO I-SPY JONATHAN SHALIT. For 10 points: When you spied J-Shal what was he eating?

[YOUTUBE]MlfcF1I5e_g[/YOUTUBE] Just A Normal Jonathan Shalit visit to The Ivy He's been there 1000 times you know. J-Shal likes to lunch.

Just one little WAFFEUR thin mint, Mr Shalit? “Daily Mail” 2007 16 stone short fat Jonathan Sigmund Shalit felt floor give way beneath his feet on his way to eat. Could it have been that one wafeur-thin mint too much after the previous feed? The ground moved - literally - for the well-padded showbiz manager Jonathan Shalit, who is holidaying in Barbados with the likes of Sir Philip Green and Simon Cowell. Arriving at Daphne's restaurant with celebrity fitness trainer Laurel Alper, niece of horse-racing millionaire Michael Tabor, 16-stone Shalit felt the floor give way. "The floor broke under me, but it wasn't my weight. I am very light on my feet," says Shalit, who has lost a stone on doctor's orders and has been taking dietary advice from Laurel, 38. "She tells me that if I am at a buffet I must eat only one portion of protein," says Shalit. He managed to limp to his table, where Laurel restricted him to a low-calorie meal of lobster and salad.

Was the Asian man from Pakistan? In which case when will Superman Jonathan Shalit zoom into action and deal with the problem over there, after all, he is very well known for his charity work and is big cheese in Variety CLub (see their web-site).

Now that is an indulgence too far

Haven't got a clue. I just noticed the fat prick being a fat prick in a stupid suit and thought, WHAT A TWAT." http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/94114-prime-candidate-twat-list-jonathan-shalit.html If you need a manager....don't do it. He is alleged (by the angel, Charlotte Church) to have somewhat dodgy "personal habits).

Oh wonderful wonderful POPE. Please our POPE....we beseech thee...open the gates of paradise and allow Jonathan Shalit to shalit Virgins for eternity by allowing your son, Jonathan Shailit to Shailit virgins forever in paradise by becoming Number One, Numero Uno.....King Dong....the biggest swinging dick.....and make "AWESOME" Number One, TOP of the Pops. PS If you can also can make http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/94114-prime-candidate-twat-list-jonathan-shalit.html get into the Top 5 you can have my shroud collection....worth far more than every indulgence you have ever sold in last 1000 years. http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/94114-prime-candidate-twat-list-jonathan-shalit.html Bring It Back

Great post Pope Which one is the fiance of that great talent puller Jonathan Shalit? BUT...getting in to one of these needs paying for. However all of the thousands of videos on the Paris Hilton site are as free as a bird (see way, way below of GF). Did you rep me Pope?

Well.....that's what you get for going off to Jonathan Shalit Land (Barbados) and dining at the Shalit-Cafe (The Cliff) with new TOTTY. But hey....Gary's brother runs a great bar in Marbella so that's OK.

Hi there pop -pickers, POPE has achieved a miracle!!! Hallelujah. I've just checked the charts (googled "Jonathan Shalit") to see where "Just How Awesome Is Jonathan Shalit) is in the HIT Parade to find that at 10.15pm tonight, JUST HOW AWSOME IS JONATHAN SHALIT was NUMBER 5....with a rocket. Just shows you the POWER of the POPE and of LIVERPOOL WAY. AWESOME BUt can we reach NUMBER 1? PLease O PLease would the great Liverpool Way's GRAND POO-BAH on HIGH re-open "prime canditate for TWat list....Jonath Shalit? Praise be to POPE http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/94114-prime-candidate-twat-list-jonathan-shalit.html

Yeah....he is certainly living the life but at what cost to Charlotte Church? Poor Charlotte has stated (see the the all-about Shalit TWAT thread much lower down on the forum) that she's to afraid to even talk about his "personal habits" which so freaked her out, in case he sues her again. Charlotte also calls him a "Wanker" and worse. What could these "Personal habits" be? Is there a dark side to the awsome Jonathan Shalit? What could it be? Before he was rich, before he could afford to Lunch himself stupid at The Ivy, my guess is that he wasn't getting it at all.

In his dreams perhaps. Then again, I guess if Louis B Meyer ex-head of M.G.M. could get it, so can this twat Jonathan Shalit.....but they would have to be desperate. But isn't he smartly dressed? Oscar Wild...eat your heart out. Jonathan Shalit is truly the King of the Dandies.

Hi there pop-pickers.....Fluff here.....and it's pick of the pops. J-Shal is having a fab week with four discs in the Hot 100 two of which are now in the top 40. Up from nowhere with a bullet is "Just how awesome is Jonathan Shalit" at Number 14 and rising fast. Down from last week's number 13 to No 36 is that classic number "The TWAT List Jonathan Shalit" and the highest riser this week is The POPE Smokes Dope. It's Number One...It's TOP OF THE POPS

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/94114-prime-candidate-twat-list-jonathan-shalit.html This is serious. Google Jonathan Shalit and the first interesting thread which turns up in a high position is "How Awesome is Jonathan Shalit." This is a travesty. A miscarriage of natural justice. A diabolical liberty....on a site which has all these "tell it like it is" posts on the Kitty Kelly of threads which used to be Numero 13 on Google searches.... http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/94114-prime-candidate-twat-list-jonathan-shalit.html As a result of closing this thread, the only place on the WWW to post Shalit news is drowning into the depths of some 200,000 posts about the twat. It's lost. It's going. It must be rescued. Help.

:drool::drool::drool: I'll tell you why I do it......I had a really good laugh every since I happened upon the GF. It's getting addictive.

Hey Pope....it is written that the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, claimed that he knew when the Day of Judgement will come. Do you know when the day of Judgement will come? Meanwhile take care if in Saudi Arabria lest you accidently damage someone's bollocks, perhaps by accident. Because the law there requires bollocks for bollocks. Those who remain conscious of their Lord shall be led in multitudes toward Paradise. When they reach it they shall find its doors wide open, and its wardens shall welcome them saying, "Peace be upon you; you have fared well; you have fared well. Enter this Garden of Delight and dwell therein forever." And they shall say: "Praise be to Allah, who fulfilled His promise and made us the inheritors of this land, in which may we dwell as we please. How splendid is the reward of the righteous!" So it seems that the reward for bombing to smithereens all of the unbelieving infidel is to shag virgins for evermore. Personally I don’t think that is a good enough incentive, presuming that your average virgin is going to be even worse than Paris Hilton, although I personally find that hard to imagine.

PS this thread has gone deathly quiet. I guess everyone has gone to the movies. Perhaps someone with weight (and I don't mean fat 16 stone twat Jonathan Shailit) could now remove the Paris Hilton link if this is out of order?

Now you know what I like about Liverpool Way. That is Post Of The Day. It's the wit that won it.