Mudface

3 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

A beautiful woman, though.

The annoying bit about her was trying to hide my horn when it was on BBC1 on Christmas Day.

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

I'm looking forward to adverts going back to just peddling shite rather than trying to blag that they've been part of some benevolent wartime effort. 

 

"We've been busy baking cakes and pies, some of which have no doubt been eaten by paramedics and our valued key workers."

 

"Our sofas have been providing a crucial place to sit, for people like doctors, who've finished a shift, and need to sit down."

On a different tack, and I know this will be easy to mock, but it was a really nice gesture- my missus works for a third sector charity company in partnership with the NHS- they're key workers basically. Today, a local farmer just turned up with two big sacks of potatoes and onions and left them at reception for staff to help themselves. She took some potatoes which were absolutely lovely baked, such a simple thing to do, but the skins were perfect, crispy.

As I said, easy to mock- the fucker could have dropped off some carrots and lamb, ffs- but he didn't have to do that. I don't know his back story, whether he he was personally involved in a CV-19 case or with her company and just wanted to be nice or what, but if he sells stuff direct, I'm buying from him from now on and I hope a lot of her other staff do so too.

Fuck your mission statements, the endless emails telling me how you're helping keep everyone safe while no doubt drawing up plans to throw your workers on the scrap heap once they're not furloughed, your shitty adverts pretending you're one of us drawn up by some zeitgeist ghoul. Just do something nice and don't be a cunt.

You could just as easily replace that with Brexit. 

Test 'n' trace on the face of it looks good-

Eh, no-

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

You're joking ?

Yeah, it was the X Factor.

11 minutes ago, Aw Geez said:

 

Pretty compelling evidence he did it though, if true. Defo a wrong'un.

Especially as his Gogglebox and Big Brother appearances were so stilted.

15 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

The what? Is that what all the cool kids are now using?

It's like Ceefax with porn.

4 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I'd love to see her Playboy pictures.

Have you tried the internet? 

8 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Got her number? 

I think most of the UK has the Lib Dem's number by now, mate.

9 hours ago, Section_31 said:

I've got a bird table and a feeder mate they fackin' love it, the little tarts.

It'll be OK- Serco will get the contract, sub it to some cowboys and the plane will end up in the EU colours.

15 minutes ago, Mook said:

There's been a load of twats just stopping in their car outside our house & having a good look while the missus & me are sitting watching the telly at night too. The whole experience has been fucking murder.

 

I'm usually hiding in my cupboard wanking when they come round so my gaping arsehole hasn't been too much of an issue.

Corrected the predictive text there.

11 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

What I hate about the Union Jack shit from the likes of Mogg and Johnson is they haven't got a genuine patriotic bone in their body, they'd sell London  to the Russians for a few krugerrands and a hand job. 

 

"And what voices! A sort of over-fedness, a fatuous self-confidence, a constant bah-bahing of laughter about nothing, above all a sort of heaviness and richness combined with a fundamental ill-will. . . . No wonder everyone hates us so."

That fake patriotism is disgusting- get the masses riled up that foreigners are coming to shit on the queen and flag while selling British public assets, companies and property to any old gangster.

He's a useless, incompetent clown, but he knows how to push the buttons of the hard-of-thinking lickspittles infesting this country. 

1 minute ago, Rico1304 said:

So they were at least involved in a cover-up of her death and since then they’ve spent 13 years managing a media campaign to put them in a good light, lobbying for the investigation to continue all whilst hoping they wouldn’t be found out?  Seems perfectly logical.  
 

And, that no one involved has ever cracked, got pissed and let it slip, found god or any of the million reasons why no fucker can ever keep a secret. Ever. 

They're chillingly manipulative and clever, aren't they?

45 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Missed it but will catch-up with it on Twitter now. I like Layla Moran but saw something on twitter suggesting she batters her husband or something? Anyone know anything about that? 

She forces him to dress up as a squirrel, shoves a tail up his arse and kicks fuck out of him. God knows where she got that behaviour from.

2 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

They giveth with one hand and take back double with the other. Frightening to think of the shit they'll get up to post Brexit when they become the Yanks bitch. What a kick in the crutch for those student nurses. 

The thing that gets me is that this and the free school meals thing are piddling sums in comparison to things like furloughing, yet they mean a huge deal to the people affected and not implementing them could end up costing a lot more. It's Duncan-Smith-esque in its boneheaded stupidity and callousness.

Hopefully Starmer can pick this up next.

40 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

And this is fucking outrageous from the government:

 

 

Holy shit. What is the matter with these fucking psychopaths? They're either unbelievably incompetent, or just pure evil. Probably both, sadly.

6 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

The fascinating thing about Trump is he's basically the ultimate evolution of modern capitalism. If you got in a Jules Verne time machine and went to the future to see what the end of the human story looks like, it'd be Donald Trump.

 

By that I mean, when people take the piss about the fact he doesn't know anything about history, or geography, or politics, it's not because he's thick, it's because he doesn't care.

 

He's learned to completely disregard anything that doesn't have the sole aim of putting money in his pocket. Even the way he dresses is no more than functional, it's certainly not flash. He'd happily leave his kids in a burning building unless they had money in their pockets.

 

He doesn't care about the difference between the Atlantic or Pacific oceans, because it doesn't make him money. He doesn't care about the dangers of a solar eclipse, because it doesn't have anything to do with money. 

 

It's like someone replaced the quantum singularity at the centre of a black hole with a wallet. Nothing can escape it. Not love, not knowledge, not physical appearance or mental wellness, not fashion, form or art or beauty.

 

Good stuff- to add to that, the corruption is a manifestation of the current state of capitalism too. The massive tax avoidance, diversion of public funds and bullying and silencing of critics or competitors through platoons of highly paid lawyers. 'The little guy' doesn't stand a chance as the rules are made by and for the benefit of his ilk.

20 minutes ago, Aw Geez said:

I literally never want to move house again unless I can afford to pay people to move the stuff for me. Which isn't likely.

 

The biggest fucking melt ever.

All our house moves have been horrendous and ridiculously stressful in one way or another, so we ain't moving again ever. Even when we paid for movers, the fuckers got the date wrong and didn't turn up the day before the move so I ended up having to help them pack. Mind you, that was still better than doing most of it myself, and having a mate with a HGV licence drive a big van up to Scotland to stick our stuff in storage for a couple of months.

36 minutes ago, JohnnyH said:

Im going to masturbate less. 

Some people just have to take things too far.

Christ, that's nightmare fuel.

6 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

I do believe that it is better for a person to get up in the morning and head off to work. Be it for mental health reasons routine, social reasons etc...... 

 

But I think sugar might be missing the whole point of my why people are working from home at the minute. The fucking eejit...... 

I'd agree with that if it was a ten minute stroll or bike ride as a commute. Spending an hour or more in traffic jams or rammed into shit trains like cattle before you even start work and then facing the same after you've 'finished' is no good for anyone. Especially when you're paying through the nose for it because- London aside- public transport is so fucked in this country. 

Do Just Eat deliver there though?