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Monday May 29: Some weird goings on with Carvalho today. Some reports say we’re looking to let him go permanently and we’ve had a bid from an overseas club. Other reports say we’ve had offers from Premier League clubs but we only want him to leave on loan, and Fabio himself has put out a couple of little comments on Insta that seem to show he’s fed up. Who can blame him if he is? Bellingham has a knee injury apparently. Hardly a secret, he’s had the thing strapped up for months. I’m not suggesting that’s why we pulled out, but you would have to be a little concerned by that I imagine. Paying a potential British record fee for a teenager who has played an awful lot of games in his career already and is strapped up like Stone Cold Steve Austin every time he goes out to play would have to give you at least some pause for thought. Staying with the wrestling theme, I’m still struggling with Everton staying up yesterday and how this shit keeps happening. It’s like back in the day when I’d be watching the Royal Rumble and every time some fucker I wanted eliminated would be thrown over the top rope but his feet didn’t touch the floor and he squirmed back into the ring unnoticed. That’s Everton every year. It’s not enough to throw them over the rope, you need to fucking boot them to the floor too, the slippery shithouse fuckers. A name I’ve seen linked us a few times over the last six months or so is Bruno from Newcastle. Now there are reports in Brazil saying we’re rivalling Barcelona for his signature. What absolute fucking bollocks this is. Players are no longer going to be leaving Newcastle to join us, or anyone else for that matter. Them reaching the CL puts paid to that, because that’s accelerated their development by a few years and no-one is prying any of their stars away now because they’ll pay them insane amounts of money to keep them there. Imagine that conversation if we tried to sign him: Us: We’re interested in signing Bruno, how much do you want for him? Newcastle: We don’t need your money and we finished above you, so fuck off. Us: Ok sound. Sorry to have bothered you. We then go to his agent. Us: Newcastle don’t want to sell. Can you get him to make some waves? Agent: Sure, I’ll get right on that now. The agent goes to Newcastle. Agent: Liverpool want Bruno and he fancies the move. Newcastle: Why? What do they have that we don’t? Agent: Well they had a poor season but they’re a massive club with an incredible manager. They would give him a good chance of winning the Champions League and maybe the title. Newcastle: They aren’t even in it. We are. Agent: Yeah but that’s just a temporary blip. Newcastle: How much are they offering him? Tell him we’ll triple it. Agent: Cool, nice doing business with you. Is there a Brazilian footballer on the planet who didn’t go where he could make the most money? I always remember a quote I read from Bobby Robson about Ronaldo when he was at PSV. He didn’t really want to leave and his agent told him something along the lines of “you’re in Europe to make money. Save your sentiment for the national team”. As long as Newcastle are relevant they aren’t losing any player they want to keep because they’ll throw so much money at them they’ll find it impossible to leave. For them to attract the kind of players they’ll be hoping to get though they might need to relocate down south and only go up to Newcastle for home games. Don’t rule that out either. I could see them setting up a training base near London and then flying up to play home games. And those sports washed fans will accept it because they’re the thickest fanbase on earth.