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This “race for fourth” thing is really beginning to offend me. They’re all fucking shit. Every last one of them. None of them deserve to be in the Champions League and I hope whoever back doors their way into fourth spot gets knocked out in the qualifiers. As I said last week, West Ham probably offend me the least on the basis that they’re performing to the level they should be, or maybe even above it. All those other fucking bums, so called members of the ‘big six’ are a fucking pathetic embarrassment. Let’s start with Spurs, who having lost at home to Southampton last midweek followed it up by losing to Wolves at home four days later. The same Wolves, let’s not forget, who got beat at home by ten man Arsenal. If they hadn’t lost to Arsenal I’d be wanting Wolves to get top four, but I can’t forgive that so fuck them too. Wolves can’t be any good if they lost to Arsenal, yet Spurs lost meekly to them. Jimenez opened the scoring thanks to an assist by Lloris, who had one of those “Hugo Lloris” afternoons. Fucking pathetic for that first goal. Sunday league stuff and the second goal was even worse. Conte might even drop him as he’s such a hothead you can’t predict how he’ll react in these situations. He started Sessegnon at left wing back and then hooked him after 28 minutes. Ouch. That kid looked amazing at Fulham but his career has gone down the toilet since he turned us down to join Spurs. Contrast that with Harvey Elliott and you can see why Carvalho is so keen to join us. Incredibly, despite all these shit results they’ve had lately, if they win their games in hand Spurs would still go into fourth spot. That just shows you how fucking useless the others are. Not that Spurs will win the games in hand, because not only are they playing like shit, but Conte looks like he’s thrown his toys out of the pram already. He hadn’t lost three league games in a row since he was managing Atalanta in 2009. Spurs will do that to you though. One of the other ‘contenders’, the mancs, drew at home with Southampton and then had a typically unconvincing 1-0 win over Brighton. Fucking Brighton, they do my head in. They always dominate the likes of United and Arsenal but never make it count because they can’t fucking score. So frustrating. Just buy Divock Origi for fuck's sake. That's what you need. Big Div might even get them into the top four when you look at the absolute shite they're competing against. United took the lead against Southampton with a Sancho tap in after what the commentator described as a “rapey” like attack. Greenwood wasn’t on the field and Ronaldo wasn’t involved in the move, so not sure what he’s on about there. Oh wait, it was “rapier”. Sorry, my bad. Che Adams levelled just after the break with a brilliant finish and that’s how it ended despite chances for both teams. They did beat Brighton in midweek with a Ronaldo goal but there was nothing for them to feel good about, especially as there are all kinds of stories coming out of Old Trafford now about players being on opposite sides. There’s “Team Ronaldo” which includes De Gea, Fernandez, Fred and others, and then there are those who don’t like him, supposedly including Maguire, Shaw, Wan Bissaka and Lindelof. Let’s call them “Team Messy”. Last week there was all that about them not liking Rangnick’s methods and taking the piss out of his American assistant. This week it's the stuff about Ronaldo, and also some claims that there are players in the squad who are livid about the ‘treatment’ of Greenwood by the club and by the players who immediately unfollowed him on social media when the story broke. The culture there is fucking horrendous and they’re going to be shit for some time to come. I don’t even care if they sneak into fourth as it won’t make much difference to them. For Spurs or Arsenal it would make a difference as it would help them attract better players. United can attract those players by paying them more money than anyone else, but they could add Haaland and Mbappe to that squad and still be shit because it’s all so toxic. To the bottom of the table now as Everton battered Leeds at Goodison to relieve some of the pressure on themselves. I’ll be honest, I’m fuming at Leeds, the fucking gobshites. They’d been doing ok and this looked like a tricky fixture for the beleaguered blues, but in the end it was easy because Leeds were fucking pathetic. Cunts. I hope we put 10 past them next week and if they go down then it’s no more than they deserve after this pathetic showing. They even let old man Seamus score. I mean fucking hell. The home crowd were rabid and were right behind the team. Well they would be wouldn’t they, they scored in the first 15 minutes so there isn’t time for them to turn on the players. That’s not me talking, it’s Ben Foster, who said “the Everton fans are horrible. Horrible to their own team I mean. We always say if we can stop them scoring early the crowd will turn on them”. If Leeds had started well and scored first that crowd would have been toxic, but fucking useless Leeds conceded two early goals. Honestly, I’m proper fucking disgusted with them, the pricks. Let's see if that Goodison crowd are as 'feisty' when they play City in a couple of weeks. Lampard has only been there a fortnight and already I’m seeing a bald spot emerging. He’ll be like Bobby Charlton by the time he gets sacked. Once Everton touches you…. Watford lost again as Brighton went to Vicarage Road and came away with a 2-0 win courtesy of goals by Maupay and Webster. There wasn’t much between the sides but for once Brighton had the edge in finishing. Hodgson has definitely tightened Watford up but now they just can’t fucking score at all. Early in the season they were scoring goals but also conceding them by the truckload. Can Roy get the balance right? Probably not but what a story it would be if he came out of retirement and kept them up. He’s still as cooky as ever. I loved that hatstand comment he made about why he took the job. “I was never going to turn it down as it was the siren call from the mermaid as the sailor passes by on his ship. It was out of the blue but I'm glad it came because I am ready.” Crazy old goat. I do think he’ll coax a tune from Watford but it might be too late as they’ve got it all to do now. On the plus side for them Emanuel Dennis looked sharp and might be finding his early season form again. Watford need him firing if they are to have any chance. He went closest to an equaliser when he hit the bar and he was a threat all game. They’ve got Sarr back now too so maybe they can start picking up some wins. I’d love them to stay up, especially if it was at the expense of someone I don’t like. The bottom three are suddenly adrift again now after the wins for Everton and Newcastle. Norwich started ok against City and caused a few problems, but eventually they just got steamrollered. I didn’t watch any of it so I don’t have anything else to add. City also had a comprehensive win in Portugal in midweek too. I didn’t watch that either, obviously, but I did see Guardiola’s condescending quotes about how Sporting were brilliant for the first five minutes and the scoreline isn’t a reflection of their quality. Get to fuck you patronising, arrogant little bald wanker. Brentford may yet still get dragged into the dogfight at the bottom as everything seems like a huge struggle for them. They’re still getting results but it just seems like a massive struggle for them every week. They have to fight and scrap for everything they get and nothing comes easy. They drew with Palace this week but it could have gone either way. Both teams had big penalty shouts that weren’t given. Guehi handled from a set-piece but was let off the hook because there was a shove in his back. Only a little shove, and probably not enough to cause his arm to go up like that, but it was a shove and the ref is entitled to give that. Could have gone either way though. At the other end, Zaha was denied a penalty when he went around Rico Henry and was hauled down by the waist. Did he play for it? Probably, but he went past him, had got goal side and the lad put two hands around his waist and pulled him down. He went down easy, as he does, but I’d be screaming for a pen if that was us. Zaha’s reputation counts against him a lot these days. Loads of times he doesn’t get decisions he should do, which you can argue is fair enough because of ‘the boy who cried wolf’ thing, but when Raheem Sterling and Harry Kane are getting the benefit of the doubt so often then arl Wilf is entitled to feel aggrieved. Brentford need a win or two soon though just to get themselves a bit of breathing space. They’ve played 25 games, which is five more than Burnley and two or three more than everyone else down there. They need my boy Ivan Toney back, and hopefully Eriksen can come in and make a difference. Onto Sunday now, I mentioned Spurs losing to Wolves already so that leaves West Ham v Leicester and Newcastle v Aston Villa. Yet another goal by in form Jarrod Bowen put the Hammers ahead at Leicester but the home side stuck at it and Tielemans equalised from the spot after Cresswell handled. Leicester grew in confidence and started to look like the side that has done so well in the last couple of seasons. Barnes and Tielemans were bossing it and Barnes teed up Ricardo to head them into the lead. It looked like they were on the brink of a much needed, morale boosting win. And then…. a corner in stoppage time. Uh-oh. Leicester fans will have had their hearts in their mouths and rightly so. They just can’t defend corners and Craig Dawson steamed in to put the ball in with his shoulder / arm. The old ’t-shirt line’ rule coming into play there. Not sure whether that should have counted or not. Looks like more arm than shoulder to me but who knows anymore. Finally, Newcastle won again as Kieran Trippier found the net with a free-kick for the second game running. He’s now injured and will be out for a while, so that will reduce their goal threat by about 75%. The Villa wall was a shambles and Stevie will be fuming at that. The keeper should do better too. See the Little Magician did one of his customary away from home disappearing acts. I remember those all too well. Villa thought they’d equalised through Watkins but he was an inch or two offside and it was ruled out. Newcastle had looked boss against Everton but they offered virtually nothing in this game. Neither did Villa though as Stevie just looked thoroughly fed up sat on the bench. They shouldn’t be losing games like this as man for man they’re much better than Newcastle, who are basically just Saint-Maximin and a bunch of stiffs. If Everton are going to save themselves then all we can hope is that Newcastle go back into freefall, the bonesaw justifying cunts.

It’s easy to take this for granted and sometimes I have to stop and remind myself of exactly what this team is doing. Going to the San Siro in consecutive Champions League games and beating AC and then Inter, and doing it without any real drama, it’s nothing to be sniffed at. Yet it doesn’t feel like a big deal because we’re so clearly better than these teams. We’re clearly better than most teams and that’s the thing that we shouldn’t take for granted. These are halcyon days we’re living in right now. Where we get drawn against Inter Milan and no-one really gives them any kind of chance against us. We’ve had great results against Europe’s big names throughout our history of course so this is nothing new, but what is new is that we’re so good now that we didn’t even need to play to win these games. We can do it on cruise control. If you go back to some of our great European results under GH and Rafa, it was often done in a backs against the wall fashion. Great tactical gameplays by the manager and players carrying it out to the letter to win games with great defending and then smash and grab counter attacks. Often we were up against sides that were better than us but we found a way to overcome them. This isn’t that. There isn’t any team on the continent that can lay claim to being better than us. In fact, Bayern Munich are probably the only ones who can even say they’re close. Real Madrid will argue their case and they have had the better of us in recent seasons, but there’s no way they’re a better side than us and if we meet them this season (which I pray we do) I’m sure we’d dispose of them handily because the lads would be so up for that game that Madrid would be facing us at our best, and our best would take them apart. We didn’t play particularly well by our own standards against Inter but even that was still comfortably enough to beat the best team in Italy. That’s the level we’re at these days. I don’t think anyone gave Inter much chance going into this game which speaks volumes about how strong we are now. It’s just taken for granted that we’ll beat teams like Inter Milan. That sounds mad when you stop and think about it. Ok, Italian footy is nowhere near what it was, but it’s still Inter Milan in the San Siro and virtually nobody gave them a hope of winning. I feel as though we got their absolute best effort too. That’s as well as they could have played, but they didn’t manage a shot on target all night. In fairness I feel like that’s an over-rated stat. You can hit the woodwork five times, miss a bunch of sitters and it’s classed as no shots on target and gives the impression you didn’t offer any threat. Inter did offer some threat though. They had some good moments and they hit the bar in the first half. They played as well as they probably could, and we just dealt with it in second or third gear. Much like at Turf Moor at the weekend, we didn’t attack particularly well but our shape and play without the ball was just quality. Virgil’s level seems to have gone up a notch in recent games and he’s looking like he has his swagger back now. Inter’s forwards were just completely intimidated by him. Dzeko is class but he’s outmatched in every department against Virgil. He couldn’t win headers and he definitely wasn’t outrunning him. He was a non-factor. The other forward, Lautoro I think his name is, was like a little kid playing with the grown ups. At one point he was sent clear with just Virgil to beat. Instead of backing himself and running at Virg, he completely shit his pants, slowed right down and waited for someone to pass it to. That’s the Van Dijk effect. Bit Inter did cause us some problems and will probably feel like they played well. All things considered, they did play well. They kept us relatively quiet in attack and they had some promising attacks that gave the crowd something to get excited about. The shot that hit the bar came from some nice play by my boy Perisic on the left (he’s been my boy in World Cup and Euro round ups for as long as I can remember now. Top player him). He was a danger all night and Trent just couldn’t stop him getting crossed in. Dzeko was a whisker away from getting on the end of another great Perisic delivery in the second half. That came in a spell where they were building up a head of steam and we were struggling to get out. We needed to get a foothold of the game but the midfield weren’t controlling it and the forwards kept giving the ball away. The front three weren’t good. It was a lot like the game at Burnley in fact. Sadio started well but faded, and Mo just never looked like he had full control of what he was doing. His touches were a little heavy and a couple of times in the first half he didn’t make enough of situations we’re used to seeing him score from. It’s not quite there with him at the minute but Norwich this weekend feels like a chance for him to get back to top form. Jota didn’t play well either and then he didn’t come out for the second half. I thought that was tactical because the forward line wasn’t getting it done. I would have gone for Diaz before Bobby but before I knew that Jota was injured and I assumed it was tactical, I could see the logic in it. There was space to operate in between Inter’s midfield and back three, but we weren’t exploiting it well enough. So putting Bobby on made sense. Except he couldn’t get going. In the first five minutes of the second half he lost the ball at least three times. Klopp even alluded to this himself afterwards, saying that it was difficult because he’s in the most difficult position in which to keep the ball. Jota wasn’t keeping it either in fairness. But the second half started badly for us. It wasn’t just Bobby giving it away, as a team we weren’t keeping the ball well enough and that gave Inter a lot of encouragement. It was obvious that Harvey was going to have to be taken off. He was ok, it’s not like he was awful, but he wasn’t making any real impact on the game. The fact he was selected to start a game of this magnitude when Klopp had a full squad to pick from is a massive compliment to him. Klopp said he went with Harvey because against Inter you need to play in the half spaces and that’s where Harvey operates. Had the game been at Anfield it would probably have worked a treat, but away games can be different and you don’t always get to play the way you want to. I didn’t think Thiago made much of an impact either, at least not until Klopp made changes. The three subs were brilliant and that’s why we won the game. Inter were on top when those changes were made but the game just switched right back into our favour from the second they stepped on the field. I don’t really want to single out one over the others as all three were outstanding. It doesn’t matter who was more important. Robbo praised all three afterwards but kept mentioning the impact Hendo made. He probably was the biggest factor due to the position he played and how influential that was, but Keita and Diaz made really big contributions as well and that triple change just wrestled the momentum away from Inter. Hendo gave us control and leadership, but Keita’s movement and ability to keep the ball really helped too. And then you have Diaz who just injected a shot of adrenaline into the team. He was like the fucking road runner. He just does things really quickly and he’s direct. He caused Inter more problems in the first five minutes he was on the pitch than all three of the other forwards had prior his arrival. He was unlucky not to score after a long run and one two with Trent. He did everything right but a defender got back to make a block. From the second he got on the pitch though I thought he was going to score or create a goal, as we just looked more dangerous. It was another sub who broke the deadlock though. Very little had gone right for Bobby prior to that but that’s a fucking tremendous header. I think the keeper should do better but by taking a big step to his left he couldn’t react quickly enough to change direction. Great header though, reminiscent of Sadio at Villa Park. Bobby had a bit more spring in his step after that goal, which was good to see. As soon as we got that one I knew we’d get another. Inter had put so much into the game and to fall behind to a set-piece will have just completely taken the wind out of their sails. The crowd were deflated and you could see their players were too. Gaps started opening up and had we been a bit more clinical with our passing in the final third we’d have carved them open. As it was, we didn’t need to do that because the second goal came from another set-piece. They cleared the first free-kick but Virgil had stayed up and when the ball came back ion he nodded it down and Mo pounced to score with the aid of a deflection. Game over. It was a routine win in the end because we defended so well and eventually just wore them down. As I said after the Burnley game, being able to win games with cheap goals from set-pieces is a massive weapon to have and this was another example of it. Without our set-piece prowess this is 0-0 and all to play for at Anfield. We’re not playing great in attack right now but the shape of the team and the defensive solidity is there and I think that’s partly a result of us playing every three or four days. We’re in a groove but the big wins only come the the front three are right at it, which they haven’t been. The attacking magic will come back and when its does we’ll be winning games by four or five. This weekend feels like the ideal opportunity for that. Diaz will surely start that one and I can honestly see him running riot. He’s fucking electric. Klopp will probably start to make some changes now as the next couple of games look like the kind of fixtures where he can do that without too much risk, particularly as we have a cup final coming up after that. When you have a squad like this and you have the rare luxury of having everybody fit at the same time, you have to make the most of that but the flip side is there’s a temptation to make too many changes which can backfire. I’d expect to see three or four changes at the weekend and then similar for Leeds. As for who comes in, I have no idea. Klopp tends to spring some surprises from time to time and we might see something random like Ox being brought into midfield or Gomez at the back. Divock could even come in out of nowhere. Nothing would surprise me at this point because if a player has a great week of training Klopp will often reward them with a place in the team. I’d probably give Thiago the weekend off just to not overdo it with him, and maybe Joel comes back in too. I say maybe because it must be tempting to leave Konate in there after this performance. Klopp’s selections of Konate have been quite interesting. He hasn’t looked to ease him in has he? He’s just thrown him in to some massive games and the lad has delivered the goods. The sky is the limit for him. The three week gaps between Inter games isn’t ideal but it doesn’t matter much now that we have a two goal lead to bring back to Anfield. There’s a lot of games before we play Inter again though so we can just put this one to bed for a bit and crack on with the quest for other trophies. Star man is Virgil, who just edges out his defensive partner. Special mention to all the subs too (not Milner who only came on for garbage time) for making a significant contribution. Long may that continue. Final word on the ref, who I thought was excellent. No bookings for either side and he wasn’t just blowing his whistle all the time and tied to let things go. He wasn’t having any of Vidal’s bullshit either. How shit is he by the way? What the fuck is it with this guy? How has he played for so many massive clubs when he’s complete dogshit? I know I do this quite a bit and Zlatan and Cavani were good examples of it, but this guy really is a huge fraud. He’s had the career he’s had because of that stupid haircut. Honestly, it’s a stroke of genius to be fair. Looking like a massive twat makes you stand out and somehow convinces people you must be good or you’d never go out in public looking like that. It worked for Pogba and Hamsik too, but at least from time to time they did something to justify the hype around them. What does this cunt do except foul people, roll around on the floor and follow the ref around the pitch complaining? He’s fucking crap and his next move should be to Old Trafford as he’d fit in perfectly with modern United. The bum. Wait, that’s not the final word. The final word has to be on the best moment of the entire night. Joel smacking lads on the head after the first goal and Hendo seeing his arse about it. Joel Matip is the funniest man in football. Not even close. There should be a Matip Cam at every game. In fact, LFC TV need to get on that immediately. Their content is great and I’m not telling them how to do their jobs, but come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a Matip Cam? Make it happen. Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Konate, Van Dijk, Robertson; Fabinho (Henderson), Elliott (Keita), Thiago (Milner); Salah, Jota (Firmino), Mané (Diaz):

An interesting week, especially down at the bottom where things are tightening up nicely. The battle for fourth is interesting too, but it’s like a bunch of blind squirrels grasping at each others nuts. Or something. Prior to this week’s loss at home to Southampton, I thought Spurs looked like the favourites for that fourth spot. It wasn’t a vote of confidence for them, more a damning indictment of how fucking hopeless all the others are. Actually that’s not fair on West Ham who are probably performing at, or even above what could be expected of them. United, Arsenal and Spurs on the other hand are all fucking garbage, but I thought Spurs were probably the least garbage. Incredibly, it looks like that ‘honour’ might belong to Arsenal. Spurs losing at home to the Saints wasn’t that surprising as Southampton are a weird team who can beat anybody and then go and concede nine the next week. They’ve drawn twice with City though so why shouldn’t they beat Spurs? That’s not really the surprising thing, what was surprising was that Spurs led 2-1 late in the game and then went on to lose it. Bednarek put through his own net while trying to prevent Son getting on the end of a cross. The Saints almost hit back within seconds when Broja skinned Romero and hit the post. Ward-Prowse went close too and then the pressure finally told when Broja equalised. Spurs were all over the place and their goal was under siege for the remainder of the first half. Spurs rallied and started the second half much brighter. Kane headed over from about a yard out when he headed into the ground and it bounced up and over. Son then put Spurs back in front but that should never have stood as Broja was completely wiped out by Royal in the build up. Southampton were furious and then Conte started going fucking mad trying to pick a fight with someone. Keep your fake hair on mate. It was a travesty that Southampton found themselves behind but they stuck at it and the excellent Ward-Prowse whipped in a ball that Elyounoussi headed past Lloris. And then two minutes later they had the lead. Once again, the ball was rolled back to Ward-Prowse and he whipped in a dangerous ball. Royal should have just headed it away but I don’t know what he was doing. He got underneath it and Che Adams nodded it past Lloris. I love Ward-Prowse though, he’s boss. There are very few players in the Premier League who I look at and think “he could play for us” but he’s one. I reckon he’d be class in the Hendo position. I’m not saying we should buy him as we don’t have any need for him, but if we did have a need I wouldn’t think twice about bringing him in. There was still time for Spurs to level in stoppage time through Bergwijn, and for VAR to say “oh no you don’t” and rule it out for offside. I mean, he is offside, but that’s one you really feel morally screwed over by because he’s a fraction off but actually comes back into an onside position to get the ball, so he gained no advantage at all by being off. Still funny as shit though. Spurs have gone from having a really good defence with Vertonghen and Alderweireld, to having a collection of complete bums in there. Sanchez is worse now than he was when he first arrived there as a promising teenager. That Romero looks crap and Emerson Royal is as bad a right back as I’ve seen since…. well, since his predecessor Serge Aurier. Jonathon Pearce is an awful commentator. Just spouting bollocks all the time. Spurs had a goal disallowed early when Romero ran offside at a free-kick and headed in. They show the replay and Pearce goes, “good decision, bad defending”. How is it bad defending? They held a perfect line on the 18 yard line and caught about four Spurs players offside. What is he wanting them to do, run back in and play everyone onside? He’s paid to come out with this guff. That was a cracking game though, as was Villa v Leeds. Brilliant stuff. Dan James is playing centre forward in the absence of Bamford and he’s doing alright. He gave Leeds an early advantage and then struck the bar with a great effort. He’s nothing special, but it’s funny seeing him outperforming Sancho isn’t it? ‘El Magico’ equalised with a lovely finish and then he produced a brilliant turn and pass to set Ramsay clear to make it 2-1. Then he set up Ramsay again to make it 3-1. Vintage Coutinho and you know what, call me a big old softy but I’m glad to see him playing well, even if it’s for Villa. I hold no hate in my heart for Li’l Phil. James then somehow made it 3-2 when he won a header against the keeper, Mings and another defender. How the hell he managed to be the one to get his head on that I have no idea, but it doesn’t reflect well on Mings especially. He was trending on Twitter after this game. I clicked on it and it wasn’t complimentary. Loads of Villa fans hammering him for being shit. The third goal was partly on him too, as his attempted clearance fell perfectly for Llorente to score from close range. Some will say it was completely on Mings but I disagree as that wasn’t an easy ball to get clear. He’s falling back as it comes to him and all he could do is stick out a leg. Besides, he’d made two brilliant clearances just before that, so that felt harsh to me. He’s not exactly Mr Popular with Villa fans right now though. Konsa was sent off for a second booking when he tried to stop the keeper starting a counter attack and ended up elbowing him in the face. Could have been given a straight red really as that was both clumsy and stupid. Initially I thought the keeper was being a fanny, the way most keepers do when someone comes within farting distance of them. He did get clumped with the point of the elbow though Final note on this, any time the commentator says the name Robin Koch I laugh like a school kid. I don’t think that will ever not be funny. You know what else will never not be funny? Everton. The beauty of Everton is that they just never learn. It’s the same shit over and over. You’d think they’d check themselves once in a while and say “ok, we’re Everton and nothing good ever happens to us, so let’s slow our roll here a bit” but they don’t. They constantly fool themselves and they’re doing it again now. Lampard was appointed and they somehow talked themselves into thinking he was this great manager, despite zero evidence to back it up. In fact, they just sacked a fella with a CV that Lampard won’t be able to match if he manages until he’s 100. That’s not today they should have kept Rafa, I’m just making a point that they’ve undoubtedly downgraded. There is absolutely nothing in Lampard’s managerial career to date to suggest he’s any good. Nothing at all. Yet they beat Brentford in the cup and got way ahead of themselves yet again. Look at those scenes at full time at the weekend, with Lampard thinking he’s the man and the fans all cock a hoop. Search “Everton are back” on twitter and it’s comedy gold. I saw that and honestly, my first reaction was to laugh and say “ok let’s wait and see what happens at Newcastle”. And we did see. Everton were shit. The sheer fucking hubris out of them after that cup game was mental. It’s like they forgot that they’re Everton. And Lampard was worse than anyone. You win one cup game and you’re giving it the big ‘un. Fuck off. Newcastle battered them and were good value for the win. My boy Saint-Maximin ran them ragged all night. He fucking tormented them and they had no answer to him. The thing with him is he always goes past the first defender. He usually goes past the second one too then either the third gets him or he gets a shot or cross away. He’s erratic but when he’s on he’s fucking dynamite. I love watching him, he’s the only thing about Newcastle I’ve got any time for. Everton actually took the lead in this game. Against the run of play and it was spawny as fuck. Holgate’s effort was saved by the keeper but hit Lascelles and went in. Holgate ran off taunting the home fans behind the goal. Not smart. You play for Everton lad, you don’t get to gloat about anything because it will ALWAYS come back to bite you on the arse. Always. And it did, instantly. It’s funny as fuck because Newcastle went up the other end, won a set-piece and Lascelles had a header that hit the bar and then went in off…. yep, you guessed it, Holgate. As Everton as it gets that. After that it was all Newcastle. New South Korean midfielder Joe Lin Ton had a great chance to score, but slipped over. He still managed to get a shot away, but he blocked it with his own face. Had it been anyone else that would have been unusual. With him? Standard. Everton offered nothing, they were fucking shite. My former boy Ryan Fraser made it 2-1 after great play by Saint-Maximin and then Trippier wrapped up the win with a free-kick from 25 yards. I’d expect my keeper to save that, but then my keeper doesn’t have arms like a toddler so there is that. Tip of the cap to the Newcastle fan who was stood behind Pickford’s goal wearing a T-Rex costume. Initially when I saw that I thought it was an inflatable someone had smuggled in but on closer inspection I saw it was actually a fella in a dinosaur suit. That’s some serious commitment to a gag there. They’ve stolen our ‘he’s only got little arms’ chant but because it’s him I don’t mind so much. Let everyone sing it to him, the prick. You all know how I feel about Newcastle and how much I want them relegated. That hasn’t changed but my priorities have. As soon as the Blues got dragged into it they became the focus. First and foremost I want them down. If Newcastle go as well, great, but if it comes down to a straight choice then it just has to be Everton. Newcastle going down would be a temporary measure that sets back their project two or three years. Everton going down would turn them into a bigger mess than Sunderland were. They’d be completely fucked because the Football League doesn’t mess around with FFP. You fall foul of it then you’re getting points deducted. So yeah, Everton to go down is on my mind constantly at the moment. I’m looking at the team news and fixtures for everyone else down there and pondering the possible permutations. I’d already decided that the Blues next few games were going to be pivotal and if they didn’t win any of them they were fucked and right in the thick of the relegation dogfight. They’ve lost the first of them, and next up is Leeds at Goodison. If they don’t win that, fucking hell they’re going to start panicking. Saint Maximin though, what a guy. After the game he replied to a tweet sent to him by an Everton fan calling him an “average player who belongs in the Championship”. He quote tweeted it and said “average was good enough tonight” and posted that Thierry Henry sniggering gif. Fucking brilliant. What made it even better was the original tweet by the blue was a month ago, in reply to Saint Maximin commenting on the disappointment of conceding a stoppage time equaliser to Watford. What the fuck has that got to do with Everton? I’m angry just thinking about that. Sad little fucking virgin getting his kicks by tweeting snark to random footballers. If it had been a Watford fan it would have at least been understandable as they’d just played them, but why the fuck is a Blue getting involved here? Bust little twat. Saint-Maximin made him famous for 5 minutes though. I’m completely blown away by the pettiness and the dedication to the ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ cause though. I can only applaud Saint-Maximin for that, but it does throw up all manner of questions for me. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I’m assuming he saw the tweet weeks ago and made a note of it, knowing he was playing against Everton soon. But how often did he think about it? Did he tell the other players? Were they discussing it in the build up to the game? Was he thinking about it before kick off? How about during the game? Every time he skinned three Everton defenders and created a chance was he thinking “I’ll show you ‘average’ you cheeky cunt”. I reckon he was you know, and I fucking love it. He might be my favourite non-LFC player now. I really liked him anyway but this has catapulted him right up there. Elsewhere in midweek, Brentford did alright against City but gave away a daft penalty and eventually lost 2-0. City are dull as fuck. Boring as shit to watch and the whole thing is completely joyless. No wonder I normally never watch them on MOTD. It’s so fucking dull. Everton’s loss at Newcastle gave Norwich a chance to draw level with them if they could beat Palace. Just stop and think about that for a second. If Norwich had beaten Palace they’d have been on the same points as the Blues. It doesn’t feel like that long ago when Norwich were adrift at the bottom and were certainties to go down. Now they’re right up Everton’s arse putting pressure on them. It’s amazing really. They didn’t beat Palace but they didn’t lose either so they went from three points back of Everton to two points. Burnley made up a point on Everton as well, while obviously Newcastle made up three on them and went above them. Just a shame Roy hasn’t got anything out of Watford yet. They aren’t leaking goals now though so maybe there’s hope. Norwich were lucky not to lose to Palace though and it needed a hilarious missed penalty by Zaha to preserve a point for them. It started so well for them too as Pukki scored inside a minute. He missed two more good chances too before Palace settled and got a foothold in the game. Zaha equalised with a thumping curler from the corner of the box and then played Mitchell in to win a penalty after Aarons brought him down. The penalty was pathetic. His standing foot slipped a little as he planted it, and the end result was the ball dribbling slowly wide much to the amusement of the home crowd. Palace don’t seem to be any better than usual based on results, but the eye test tells a difference story. They’re good to watch and play some nice football. Vieira is doing a good job there but he could do with a few more wins just to prove that beyond doubt. Big fan of that Olise kid, he looks really promising. West Ham beat Watford thanks to a deflected speculative Bowen shot that wrong footed the keeper. Other than that there wasn’t much in the game, but all most people were arsed about was the decision by Moyes to start Zouma. Bad shithouse move by Moyes that. Just suspend him until the heat dies down a bit. You don’t send him out there on the day the story broke as that’s just tone deaf. On a list of ’stand up guys who I would back to do the right thing’ though, Moyes would not be in a high ranking spot, so I’m not exactly shocked by this. At Turf Moor Burnley come from a goal down to get a point against United. Pogba started his first game since we spanked them 5-0 and he scored as United completely dominated the first half. Varane had earlier seen a goal ruled out because an offside Maguire blocked off Jay Rodriguez. That might be the first successful block he’s made all season and he got punished for it. Seems a bit harsh. On a serious note, I’m not sure if that was the right call or not. I don’t think Rodriguez is going to impact the play, but then does that even matter? Maguire is offside and he takes Rodriguez out, so I guess he should be punished for that. They also had another goal ruled out for a foul by Pogba on Pieters. Probably is a foul but I’m just not used to seeing United having subjective decisions go against them so it takes some getting used to. As I say though, they battered Burnley in the first half and probably couldn’t believe they only had one goal to show for it. And then the second half started and Wout Weghorst took over. He set up the equaliser for Rodriguez and then forced De Gea into a full stretch save as Burnley finally got some traction going. It ended 1-1 and United are back in 6th spot again. There’s talk now from inside the camp that the players don’t like Rangnick’s methods and they want Pochettino. There’s also reports that they’ve been taking the piss out of Rangnick’s American assistant manager and calling him Ted Lasso. Seriously, who the fuck do those cunts think they are? They’ve been shit for various different managers, their effort has been called into question on numerous occasions, yet they think they’re in a position to decide who the manager should be and to mock the coaching staff? They might be right for all I know but it doesn’t matter does it? They haven’t earned the right to an opinion, the fucking losers. Concentrate on your own fucking jobs, maybe then the managers won’t all look like bums. Finally, Arsenal. They won 1-0 at Wolves despite yet again having to play with 10 men for a stretch of the game. Gabriel’s scrappy goal from a set-piece settled the game because Wolves can’t score. The sending off was controversial because it was such an unusual situation. I don’t remember ever seeing that before, but if Michael Oliver is allowed to do that within the laws of the game then he’s right to do it and I would have done the same. If you haven’t seen it, basically what happened was that Wolves had a throw and tried to take it quickly to counter attack. Martinelli tried to stop them taking it by shoving over the lad taking the throw. The ball was in play so Oliver played the advantage, and Martinelli then chased down the lad in possession and shoved him over too. Both blatant yellow cards, but the grey area I suppose is that if Martinelli had been given the first yellow then he wouldn’t have committed the foul for the second one. So I understand why Arteta was pissed off about it as you rarely see anything like this happen. It was a brave decision by Oliver though as the easy thing there is to just give a yellow, but for me Martinelli deserved two yellows and justice was served. If Arsenal back door their way into the top four this season though I say that Spurs and United should be relegated along with the bottom three, as some form of heavy punishment is definitely required for allowing that to happen. In an ordinary season this Arsenal team would be finishing somewhere between 8th and 10th spot. So many teams should be fucking ashamed of themselves right now.