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LIVERPOOL 2 Manchester United 1 Report by Dave Usher at Anfield Scorer(s) – Wes Brown O.G., Ryan BabelHalf Time - 1-1 Venue - Anfield Date - Sat 13 September 2008 Star Man – Javier Mascherano It’s amazing what a little bit of luck can do for a team’s self belief. Since Rafa Benitez arrived at Anfield, the only luck we’ve had in league meetings with Manchester United has been of the bad variety. As a consequence, we seemed to develop an inferiority complex and didn’t appear to have any belief that we could actually beat them. That didn’t look like changing yesterday as we made a nervous start and found ourselves trailing to goal inside two minutes. It was all looking a bit too familiar. Then lady luck intervened in the form of Wes Brown’s knee, and it was as though some kind of gypsy curse had been lifted. From that moment on, we were fantastic. Our players seemed to visibly grow in stature after that stroke of fortune, and suddenly there was a real sense of belief that not only could they win the game, but that they WOULD win it. After that, we were first to every ball, we didn’t let them play and we produced some excellent football of our own. The 2-1 scoreline was actually a little flattering to United in the end. Whatsmore, we did it without Torres, and with Gerrard only playing a late cameo role. I’m sure in his pre-match pep talk Rafa will have stressed the need to make a good start and put them on the back foot from the off. It didn’t quite go to plan however, as we looked nervous and vulnerable. Berbatov almost scored in the first minute, but his shot was blocked by some part of Skrtel’s anatomy, possibly his arm. He didn’t know a great deal about it though and a penalty would have been and incredibly harsh punishment. Good job Steve Bennett wasn’t refereeing. The warning wasn’t heeded though, and a minute later Berbatov got to the byline and cut the ball across the box where the unmarked Tevez gleefully rammed the ball into the net in front of a stunned Kop. We couldn’t have made a worse start. Mascherano was probably the most culpable for the goal as he didn’t track Tevez’ run into the box. Others could have done better too, and we were at sixes and sevens all over the pitch in that opening spell. I had a real fear that we could end up getting a hiding. Had they scored a second in that opening 15 minutes, we might have been humiliated as it didn’t look good for us at that stage. The normally ice cool Aurelio had started terribly, misplacing passes and being beaten far too easily by Rooney. Skrtel and Carragher were at full stretch trying to keep United at bay as Ferguson’s side showed more attacking intent than we have become used to in this fixture of late. Rooney and Anderson were getting plenty of crosses into the box, and I really could see a second goal coming. It was a nervous time, but we held out and gradually began to get a foothold in the game. Albert Riera’s first few involvements in the contest saw him repeatedly lose out to Wes Brown and end up on the floor wanting a free-kick. Whenever the reds’ new signing got the ball and tried to shield it, Brown was just getting very tight to him and was nudging him and snapping at his heels. Riera has spent the last couple of years in Spain, and he would get a free kick for this kind of thing 99 times out of a 100 over there. It’s different here though, and referee Howard Webb was letting it go every time. After about the fourth or fifth time of this happening, Riera cottoned onto it and he stopped holding onto the ball so long. He didn’t allow Brown to get so tight to him, and he grew into the game with every assured touch and confident flick that came off. He was brilliant after that difficult opening, and gave Brown a lot of problems. As far as debuts go, we couldn’t have asked for much more from him. Some of his touches were sublime, and he always seemed to choose the right option. He looks an intelligent, skillful player. From what I can remember, it was a powerful run from him that seemed to start the revival. He went past two players with a lovely piece of skill, but was knocked off balance and went down under the attention of a third challenge. Outside the box he’d have probably got a free-kick, but he was never going to get a penalty for it, especially against these bastards. But it gave hope to the fans, and also probably showed his team-mates that he would be a good outlet and that he had the beating of Brown. Riera proved to be a good option out wide as he hugged the touchline and ensured we didn’t get too bunched up in the centre. Gradually we began to settle down and look for an equaliser. It should have arrived through Kuyt when Van Der Saar flapped at a corner and the ball fell to him a few yards out. His volley was well saved by the keeper, although I felt Dirk should have put the ball into the other side of the goal as it was unguarded. Moments like that are often pivotal, and have been in previous encounters with the mancs. You miss a chance like that, and you end up regretting it. Not this time. Dirk went close again shortly after with a dipping volley from 18 yards that dropped just wide with Van Der Saar nowhere. Keane then completely missed his kick when lining up a volley after some good approach play down the left, as we enjoyed a decent spell of pressure. We needed to score before half time I felt, as the spectre of a United breakaway loomed large. If they got a second, I couldn’t see us recovering from it. The problem was, where was a goal going to come from? Well in our previous eight games the only time we had found the net was courtesy of an own goal from a United defender. John O’Shea was about to be joined in the hall of shame by his mate Wes Brown. Alonso’s speculative shot from distance appeared to strike the arm of Evra. As the crowd appealed for handball, the ball looped up into the box where Riera and Brown chased it down. Van Der Saar came out to intercept the danger, but could only palm the ball onto the knee of Brown and watched in horror as it ricocheted into the net. DJ George gleefully announced Riera as the goalscorer, but that was wishful thinking taken to the extreme! Still, who cares who got the final touch? We were level and we’d finally had some good fortune. This was going to be our day. I’d had a good feeling about this game all week, and although I have to admit that good feeling had disappeared after the terrible start we’d made, once we drew level I was pretty confident again. The way I looked at it was, at some point this terrible run was going to end. It had to. The same way that our run of semi final wins over Chelsea had to come to an end sooner or later. The law of averages dictates it. Once we were back on level terms it was one way traffic. The departure of Carrick at half time certainly helped us as well, as they didn’t compete in midfield at all when he went off. The anonymous Scholes was brought off too, and you’d have to say that Alonso and Mascherano absolutely bossed the middle of the park, especially once Carrick left. I know some people are saying they played a 4-3-3 formation, but at times it looked very much that United had gone with Anderson on the left and Rooney on the right of a 4-4-2. I looked at Rooney stuck out there on the right of midfield, and couldn’t help but wonder how much shit Rafa would be taking from the press if he was treating Rooney the way Ferguson is. Anderson was moved inside for the start of the second half, but him and Scholes got over-run by our two. Ferguson sent on Hargreaves to try and stiffen things up a bit, but it made no difference. Mascherano just steamrollered United, with Alonso performing superbly in a supporting role alongside him. From the moment the second half had begun, we were on top. Riera was especially prominent, and Aurelio recovered from his awful start to enjoy a brilliant second period. In the opening fifteen minutes Aurelio and Riera looked like they’d never played together before, which of course they hadn’t. After that initial uncomfortable spell, they linked up superbly and there were some very encouraging signs there. On the other flank, Arbeloa produced his best performance for some time whilst Benayoun was very unlucky not to score when he made an intelligent run in behind the defence and collected Keane’s perfectly weighted pass, but the angle proved too tight and Van Der Saar denied him. At half time I’d been thinking that I’d be more than happy if the score stayed at 1-1 until around the 65 minute mark. Then we could call on the cavalry for a late charge, as we had Gerrard, Torres and Babel to call on to try and win the game. What did they have? O’Shea, Nani, Hargreaves and Fletcher. That probably explains why they were continually time wasting throughout the second half. Ferguson would have taken a point, no doubt about it. The way the game was going though, there must have been a part of Rafa that was tempted to leave it as it was, as we were well on top and everyone was playing well. There was an element of risk in any substitution, especially given the fitness concerns over Gerrard and Torres. We had to go for it though, and I thought Rafa’s substitutions were spot on. Gerrard for Yossi came at a good time, but immediately almost cost us, as he lost possession and allowed Giggs to hit a looping half volley from 30 yards that brought a great save out of Reina. He settled down after that and played well, but we didn’t need him to produce anything heroic for us to win this game and that is encouraging. He played his part, don’t get me wrong, but he was just a part of a fantastic team effort and that is something that is especially pleasing. We coped just fine without our two star players, whereas United looked very poor without their star man. It was another of Rafa’s substitutes, Ryan Babel, who would make the really big difference. After replacing the tiring Riera – given a rapturous reception as he left the field – the young Dutchman set about tormenting the United backline with his pace and unpredictable talent. I’ve said it before, but as an impact player off the bench Babel looks a world beater. He needs to transform that into 90 minute performances when he is given the opportunity, but how Ferguson must have wished for a player like Ryan to throw on in the closing stages. He had to make do with Nani, who is fucking garbage and looks like this dude from Beetlejuice: Babel would score the winning goal of course - albeit a bit fortuitously as he mis-kicked it slightly – but it owed much to the tenacity and never say die spirit of Mascherano and Kuyt. Not much seemed to be on when the Argentine picked up the ball on the right flank, but he drove towards the byline with a typical surging run, and even when it looked as though Giggs had cut him off, he didn’t give it up and he kept the ball in play for the supporting Kuyt. He showed good awareness to get his head up and pick out Babel, and although he sort of scuffed his shot into the ground it still found its way into the Kop end goal to send us all into dreamland. It was no more than we had deserved, as United had been pinned back in their own half and were under pressure from the moment we had equalised. Keane had earlier missed a good chance when he failed to connect with Mascherano’s drilled cross-shot across the six yard box, and his ill fortune continued when from the restart following Babel's goal he was cynically brought down by Vidic as he went through on goal. It was the most blatant of red card offences, but this is Manchester United we’re talking about here, so I doubt anyone was surprised by the award of a yellow. Even though we won, I’m still seriously pissed off about this decision, as if you were to look for incidents to use as examples of a professional foul and what constitutes a sending off, this would be the perfect example. Smack bang in the middle of goal, no covering defender, a clear goalscoring opportunity. Fuck you Howard Webb, you shithouse. Carragher or Skrtel would have been off quicker than you can say 'intimidated by Ferguson'. Of course, Vidic did later get his marching orders, but even then Webb was reluctant to do it. That was a blatant assault on Alonso, who is very fortunate not have been seriously injured. Vidic knew exactly what he was doing as he smashed into him elbow first. That should have been a straight red also (reminded me of Van Der Meyde in the derby a couple of years ago), but once again Webb failed to do his job properly and produced only a yellow. Whatsmore, he then walked away without producing the red card, and it looked like he had to be told by the players that Vidic had been booked twice. Belatedly, he turned back and pulled out the red card. Vidic stood there shaking his head, as though he had been hard done by, the cheeky twat. Eventually he turned and walked off the field dejected. It never rains but it pours eh, lad? Last time we played the mancs, it was one of our players reluctantly leaving the field after being red carded. Mascherano was absolutely caned by the media for what happened that day, even though his only crime had been to ask ‘what’s happening?’. Vidic could have seriously injured Alonso, but I bet fuck all is written about him. And may I ask what has happened to the 'Respect' campaign? Lasted all of one weekend that didn't it. Mascherano being the only person punished for it. We had a couple of glorious chances to put the seal on the win, both courtesy of the trickery of Babel. First he produced some amazing skill by the corner flag to make a mug out of Brown and tee up Keane, but the Irishman’s shot was charged down. The best chance of all fell to Kuyt, after more good play from Babel, but Dirk blasted the ball at Van Der Saar when he should have scored. United immediately went up the other end and forced a corner, and recent memories of all the soft goals we’ve conceded to them from set pieces came flooding back. Not again, surely? We half cleared it, but the ball ended up falling to Rooney on the edge of the box and from where I was sat his shot looked like it was going in. A huge cheer went up as it flew wide, and we knew that was it, we’d finally broke the hoodoo. Whatsmore, we’d gone six points clear of them, and we had temporarily jumped above Chelsea to go top of the league. Only time will tell how significant this result – and performance – will turn out to be. Right now, I’m not too bothered about that. It’s just nice to finally beat them, and to do it in the way we did by overcoming such an early setback. We hadn’t been playing well prior to this game, so hopefully now we’ll see a new confidence throughout the side, and also with Rafa. Pick our best players in their best positions, keep a relatively settled team and give them instructions to go out and attack, and we won’t go far wrong. The addition of Riera looks to have given us another dimension, and if he can build on this impressive start then we will have filled what has been a problem position for a long time. It’s far too early to get carried away by him, but on this evidence we have every reason to feel optimistic about Albert. If he can nail down that left wing berth, it will free up Babel to be used in other roles, either as a supersub or hopefully on the right flank. He needs to add consistency to his game for that to happen, but he certainly has the talent. As good as some of our football was however, it was what we did when we didn’t have the ball that was the real catalyst for the victory. It’s very rare I agree with anything that comes out of the mouth of that purple nosed old pant shitter, but he was spot on when he said that it was our tackling and harrying that was the difference. We pressed United all over the park, and as a result we pinned them back for long periods. This was something we did extremely well a few years ago (Rafa’s second season especially), and it’s what his Valencia side were renowned for. We’ve let this side of our game slip a little bit I think, and it’s a good while since I remember us pressing a team the way we did to United. They couldn’t live with it, very few teams can. Key to that was the energy levels of people like Mascherano, Kuyt and Keane, who simply didn’t stop and never allowed any manc player any time in possession. It was great to see such desire on show, and it transmitted itself into the crowd who stayed with the players throughout. Mascherano typifies this more than any other player. Seeing his little legs pumping away in that unique running style of his, as he chases the length of the pitch just to put pressure on the opposing keeper is heart warming. You can’t fail to be inspired by that. Just like when he picks the ball up and then decides that there’s nothing on so he’s just going to leg it forwards. Usually the only way to stop him is by bringing him down. It’s quite funny because most fans of other teams just don’t get Mascherano. They don’t see how he good he is. Evertonians especially have no clue how good he is. The fact is, he’s absolutely fucking awesome and every bit as good as Gerrard as Torres, albeit in a less 'headline making' way. He’s world class, and he proves it every week. This was a performance where everyone put a shift in, and everyone played well. We had no passengers, and the whole team can be proud of how they played. It says a lot about Mascherano’s performance that as good as everybody else was, I thought he was still streets ahead of anyone else on the pitch. Nothing typified his display more than an incident towards the end, just before he had to leave the field injured. Rafa had David N’Gog ready to come on for Keane, before he noticed Mascherano signalling to the bench that he was hurt. Rafa frantically had to cancel the Keane substitution, and had to get Sami Hyypia ready to go on for Mascherano. In the mean time, play went on and United got down the left flank into a crossing position. Out of nowhere comes the injured Mascherano, who not only makes the tackle but avoided conceding the corner and actually won us a goal kick that relieved the pressure. Having done his job, he then hobbled off the field to be replaced by Hyypia. He’s a truly inspirational player, and he’s still got another ten years or so of playing at the top level. Hopefully those years will be spent with us, as I never want to see him wearing the shirt of another club. He could be one of the greatest players in the history of the club, he's that good. This could prove to be a huge result for us, but only if we make it count by carrying the form we showed in the second half into the rest of our games. We’ve shown what we can do, now we need to do it consistently, starting next week at home to Stoke. It’s no good beating the mancs and then dropping points to the likes of Stoke, so that’s the challenge for our players – and manager – now. The final word goes to the supporters. The atmosphere was excellent throughout, and even when we were losing the fans stayed with the team and didn’t get frustrated. The focus in the build up to the game had been on a protest against Gillett and Hicks, but as soon as the game started it was about backing the team. The protest was excellent, and full credit to all of those involved. Gillett had actually shown his face on Merseyside for once, and hopefully anyone who came into contact with him will have let him know exactly what they think of him. Gillett and Hicks are a pair of greedy, slimy, lying cunts. I can’t even look at their faces without filling up with rage, Gillett even more so than Hicks for some reason. The sneaky little shithouse is happy to stay in the background and let Hicks be seen as the bad guy due to his big fucking mouth, but Gillett is every bit as bad, he’s just a lot more cagey. I feel pretty damn good about beating the mancs, but it’s nothing compared to how I’ll feel the day those two cancerous lumps are removed from our club. I just pray that it’s soon. Team: Reina; Arbeloa, Skrtel, Carragher, Aurelio; Benayoun (Gerrard), Alonso, Mascherano (Hyypia), Riera (Babel); Keane, Kuyt:

There was a stand up comedian who did a set about going to see riverdance, but it was shite because they sat in seats where you could only see the top half and they didn't move. Please help me remember who the comedian was and if you can provide a youtube clip that would be even acer. Do me proud GF! I will power rep anyone who helps me so much that they will be begging for neg.