After detailed internet discussions lasting well into the small hours, a 'delighted' Roy Hodgson confirmed that he believes Dennis Tooth is likely to commit his future to The Liverpool Way. The swashbuckling wordsmith and borderline lunatic, who has long expressed his severe dislike of playing on the right wing, had originally threatened to leave the site, but has been quietly impressed with the emollient statements from the new man at the helm.
Strontium Purslow was unavailable for comment.