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  1. A fucking "e-cigarette". I despair. Four fucking hours. The M6. The M6. You know how many "officials" were involves in that little incident? No? I do. Shall I tell you? Five fucking trillion zillion, that's how many. Count them. Who pays their costs? I fucking pay. They close roads for a leaf on the hard shoulder these days. Traffic officers my arse. You don't need to close two lanes because some cunt ran out of petrol. Someone walking along the hard shoulder? Cue ten miles of flashing overhead-gantry speed restrictions and a rolling road block. A minor ding on some suburban road? Closed in both directions at rush hour. Who pays for the missed flights, hospital appointments, job interviews, let alone the enormous impact on thousands of people trying to go about their daily lives? And who holds these fuckers to account? No fucker, that's who. Next they'll be stopping people swimming in rivers. Oh.
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