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  1. Simon Green today stunned the world when he, somehow, passed a test. The test in question was thought to be checking for STD's and the boy passed with flying colours. His home town of Warrington is said to be planning an open top parade to celebrate this achievement and the Mayor had this to say "Simon will go down in history as the man who passed his first ever test but the first person in Warrington to be clear of any STD's. I wish I had the boys luck but I'm cursed with bad AIDS." Some art cunt has been comissioned to create a sculpture of the hero.
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