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  1. A title like that deserves a little explanation so hear me out. Since I started seriously dating a wonderful girl for the first time in several years, Ive felt unusually wholesome and healthy where sexual matters are concerned. I stopped watching porn and I dont miss it. Ive stopped wanking every day or more out of boredom. My performances in the sack have been fairly steadily improving. But theres a big logistical issue- I live two hours away from her and we usually only see each other on weekends. We do loads of active stuff together all day and when night comes, given that theres also a full work week behind us, we are both pretty tired. So the window of opportunity is pretty small, and the sexy times are limited to once or twice a week. That means theyve gotta count! Now true love and rapturous physical symbiosis notwithstanding, if I havent splooged all week the lovemaking will be short and not so sweet. Thats a fact of life as far as Im concerned. This has lead to an ever more frequent situation where I find myself at work, in some building in NY (I work on film shoots so its usually a different one every day), and Im going to be seeing the lady later that night. And I need to clear out my balls or sexy time will be ruined. Hence hunkering down in some shit covered toilet stall at 2 in the afternoon, with grunting shitting farting men 3 feet away from me behind a thin wall, their fecal smells wafting over me as I clench my eyes shut, think of titties and furiously try to rub one out into the toilet bowl, feeling an awful lot like a 15 year old. Anyone know where Im coming from? No pun intended.
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