Sheeks

Thanks again all, not a clue how to embed youtube but got this off a buddy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUxbDPGKVRo

I really don,t think pills are the answer, I finally realise that now, they only cover over the feelings and while it might make you feel better it doesn't fix the problem but only turns you into a robot. Thats my experience I know its different for everyone so don't take my word as gospal

Thanks Cath, I've no idea either, I keep swinging from floods of tears to wanting to scream to wanting to be sick to raging anger st the system then back to tears again. x 

 

 

 

Sorry lovely, they're not memories, I wish they were. She passed away Thursday evening after being ill for almost 4 years. 15 and having spent almost a third of your life with poor mental health. I'm off loading, sorry. x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In regards to the alcohol comment, I know where some of you are coming from, however what I suggested was to not in anyway use it as a crutch, or to get bladdered. Alcohol has sedative properties, sleep deprivation as a result of anxiety exacerbates the anxiety(as does alcohol in the long term and develops depressive tendencies as I mentioned in my post),  I suppose its a judgement call for some, knowing that you've got 2 days before you're able to see a GP, but not sleeping for those days can be detrimental. Things don't change after a nights sleep, however after having sleep you're more able to process things. Long term, yes it is a messy thing to get into, however I maintain as a one off until someone is able to get to the GP it is far better than the alternatives. 

Don't apologize, things happen. let it out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf1WT8VEZxk

Once again, thank you all so much, been a while since I smiled this much

You'll fit in well here

 

Have you been spying on me!

haha, I never got the whole Rep/Neg anyway (I'm fucked now) I have been only a voyeur on the forums over the last few years though!

Absolute Legend certainly has raised a smile. :) and I fuckin hate Smiley's!!

I knew the GF would remember my Birthday!!

Its your birthday too, is it not? Toast your mate and life

Ha sure is, but sometimes there are more important things take over

What have you got planned for your day, Sheeks?

Not much bud, one year anniversary mass for my mate (Irish thing) just reminisce then and watch the second half of band of brothers again ha! 

I'm sorry to have brought up painful memories Melons and I do believe the system is shite; a lot of time people suffering will be prescribed something just so the docs can move onto the next patient and get another pay check.  I think one of the reasons it hit me so much was because the shit the had me on made me somewhat emotionless about anything 

Not been feeling too swell recently but wouldn\t say I was depressed even though I've got a lot of the symptoms. Feel like I'm drifting away from a lot of my better mates too. The majority of my friends are creative types but with that seems to come lots of self destruction and so they're still very much into their drugs and heavy drinking. I realised a while ago the drink wasn't doing my any good but would still mess about with drugs now and then. Should really stop the lot but it's hard when I'm around it almost every time I socialise. Not that any of my mates are pushers but it's hard to say no. I also seem to have become everyone's agony aunt and a lot of time spent with friends these days seems to lead to them just moaning at me about their lives, jobs and the like. It just makes me want to stay in. Before I'd be looking forward to finishing the working week and catching up with pals, now it feels like I'm always making excuses to do anything but.

 

My relationship with my family is still very poor. I was always kinda the black sheep but it wasn't until my dad died and I slipped into a deep depression that family life became pretty shit. I still feel a sense of shame and embarrassment that they, my mum in paticular, saw me so low and useless. My mum is 63 now and all I really wanna do is have a proper relationship with her as she's a fucking superstar and deserves to know it but I feel anxious and on the brink of tears anytime I go to tell her anything like that. I know I should probably just get it over with but it's hard. I can't remember exactly how long I spoke to various professionals about my depression but it was at least a couple of times a month for over a year, just like I can't remember 99% of the stuff we talked about in the sessions either, but I'm thinking of giving it another go. Should really do it sooner than lately but I put if off every week

 

Got in touch with an ex recently too. It's been two years now but there's still a lot of her shit at my mums' that I messaged her about collecting. I also really wanted to know how she was doing because she has had her fair share of rough patches from a very young age and is coming into the final year of her degree and I wanted to know how that was working out for her but she totally ignored all the personal stuff and we just discussed arranging a meet to exchange stuff. Bit of a bummer really.

Incredibly close to the way I am with my friends bud, kicked the weed when I was 15 coz of the anxiety and paranoia but all my mates base there days around it 

Sorry it's been so long since I replied folks, first time been back on since my original post. Things are looking up a bit, one step at a time but I can honestly say ye have brought me to tears (in a good way) about how caring you all can be. I've only read the first page of responses and have had some incredible advice from everyone and had a good laugh too. thanks again

Not sure why I am writing here but been viewing this thread for a while and need to get things off my chest. I have always suffered from some form of depression and I have been taking anti-depressants for the last 10 years on and off (including for the last year). I had a massive breakdown on Saturday to the point where I couldn't stop crying and this scared the shit out of me as it has never been this bad. One of my good mates commited suicide on my birthday august 8th last year after we had a party so maybe this has brought things on. I spoke with my Ma and Da about this and they adivsed me to move in with them for a bit. I cant help but feel like a cunt as this is the last thing they need right now as my Da is going for surgery today. I have a good job and enjoy working and have just recently got a raise. I don't think talking to anyone will help as I cant explain myself what way I am feeling and why I am feeling this way. 

So what made-up name did they give you?

Omar Sharif

Do you live in India?

Ha no, there is a call center in Ireland as well, although it did feel like working in a 3rd world country

Amazon.co.uk customer service S-H-I-T Shithole

Go into some of his female friends photos from a long time ago and start liking them, preferably if they are holiday snaps in a bikini

spotting my best bud in a beyonce video on his way back from work

Cheers, I think I'll be sky+ it and stick it on 1st thing

proper good hangover cure, misses won't be too happy though

ya at 3 the event starts on espn but start watching an before hand for the countdown it is very good, the main event won't be on til 5 but it should be a good card all round

gonna be a great event, been watching it for a while and love the old guard, but shows how the sport is evolving, with the likes of rory mcdonald anthony pettis, even rick story and struve are serious prospects

there was a serious fire in a french cheese factory yesterday, apparently all that was left was the brie

I am all that is man