melons

My little princess is on the blob at the moment, dog is getting 3 hour walks every night.

Count yourself lucky its only a few days, Mr Melons has now given up hope of it ever ending and requested over time. For nights. Leaves at 6pm, doesn't get back until after I've left for work at 9am. 

I love where I live, its just the most impractical house in a location almost as practical as the outer Hebrides when it comes to getting a job local to home on a decent wage. 

http://www.gumtree.com/search?q=v+festival&tq=%7B%22i%22%3A%22v+festival%22%2C%22s%22%3A%22v+festival%22%2C%22p%22%3A2%2C%22t%22%3A14%7D&search_category=tickets&search_location=Cheshire&distance=100

If that link doesn't work, go to gumtree and do a search. They tend to get cheaper the closer to the date. I almost gave mine away for Bestival last year. 

I live in Wales, in the mountains. There are nothing but farms with sheep and cows for miles around. I voted Plaid. I'm a raging sheep racist and a nationalist. I reckon that trumps Tory. 

Think they can come over to my land, into my garden and eat my roses, bloody white bastards, and the black one, there's a black on in there too. Though she's never been in my garden... as far as I know. I hate sheep. 

How old was she, Sherri?

She was 15, mate. 

It's just beyond sad, Sherry. Poor poor girl. And her family and everyone who knew her. It makes you want to hold your kids so tightly x

It's really odd. I've known one of my other daughters mates to pass away through physical health issues, it seemed so much easier to get your head around. I never expected this, I knew she was poorly, I knew she'd been admitted since the end of feb, I knew things were intense, I always thought the medical profession and her would win the battle in the end. 

No words Sheri x

I've said that to myself all week.Well, pretty much. Sorry, it's that time of night, house is now spotless, kitchen bleached to the point I'm not sure it was a wise move on the granite and I still can't settle. World of woman thread continues to raise a much needed smile though! 

My friends young daughter was cremated today, it was family only for the service, so a few of us went to the bridge to say our goodbyes before going to the family home. I always knew it was a high bridge, it connects the mainland to the Island. Today I actually took the time to look over the side. There is something about people that have made that step that puts me in some kind of awe of how brave they are (were) I grew up hearing the mantra of suicide being a cowards way out, selfish ect, and having experienced poor mental health myself, I know it's anything but that. Today, seeing those steps she took, knowing the pain she must have been in to feel that was her only escape was to climb over the rails and fall. My heart aches. The ifs, buts, should've, could've's are coming thick and fast, I loved this kid, and I know I'd have continued to love the adult she would have become. 

Depression should never be allowed to reach that point, why is it our society still keeps it as a taboo subject, why is it we're still expected to never truly say how we feel, I dare say many of you who have been to seek professional help even played it down to the gp. Why? Why do we do that? Why is it we can't say, I feel like crap and I honestly don't know how I can go on another day? Surely if we can't do it as adults, we would expect our younger population to say it? 

It sucks.

Called into my friends last night even though I was exhausted, but I didn't want to just go to bed at 7pm. Bad habit to start getting into. Anyway they were all boozing, music pumping, coke everywhere haha. I managed to stay until 11pm, had fun, and had a single measure of captain Morgans and about 8 pints of water. Glad I did now. My anxiety has been tame, but present the last 24 hours, but I managed to have a really good day regardless. The best day since it all kicked off last week, by a mile.

Glad you had a good day. Please don't let it put you off going to see the doctors though, it's a long road, but it does get easier. x  

Pills are a crapshoot, there's a reason it says "warning may cause suicide" on the bottle.  Adresss lifestyle and psychological issues first.

Yeah, good point when you let it get to that point you just gotta roll the dice.  Two things I've seen though are that we as a whole are very poorly educated in our moods and emotions, in how to identify them and how to manage them.  So often we end up in the situation you were in, even though you probably had triggers that were a warning sign and all this while unbeknownst to you, you were unwittingly engaging in behaviors that were indirectly exacerbating the problem.

 

Secondly, these pills are poorly understood, listening to psychiatrists talking about them is like reading Hippocrates lecturing on the bodily humours.  They're sorted into classes based on symptom relief and prescribed in the order determined by a combination of efficacy and the  incentive offered by big pharma (in the US anyway).

 

I'm off my soapbox now!!

People talk about it because it's not a cut and dried issue.  In some cases meds have a place, in some they don't.  Recognising that is not ignorant, it's reality.

You know what, I'm not biting with the 6 paragraphs I'd just wrote out, this is my bit and my view point from a fair few years experience.

I believe you're wrong on this when it comes to someone so poorly they're suicidal, I think you're looking at it from engaging with issues related to mild depression. When you reach that point of pain and despair that you're having suicidal thoughts, I'd dread to see how telling someone to go away and address psychological and lifestyle issues works out. 

Many do, many say it's just hiding the issue, covering it up. 

Meds have a place, for some to say otherwise is just ignorant. Yes, doctors are often seen as too happy to prescribe, but to be fair with the limited mental health services available, what choice do they have? On the most part, people only turn to the doctors when they have run out of coping mechanisms, they're at a crisis point and there is no time to wait for a CBT/Psychotherapy or indeed any other of the therapies available to kick in, the practitioner then has 10 minutes to decide if this person is at risk of harming themselves or others. The person thats poorly is then sent away in the hope that they've got the right meds and they'll see their mood stabilise over the next 2-6 weeks. Them addressing their lifestyle and psychological issues isn't really going to happen whilst they're struggling to get out of bed in the mean time, is it?

Meds are so much more than a mask, once you get the right one, they actually hold things together while hopefully with other support you start to heal. 

Fab thread thats well worth a read. Zig totally rules it, and is much more coherent then I could ever dream to be. (Just ignore noos)

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/100444-depression/

I just wanted to acknowledge your post but I have no idea what to say. So sorry x

Thanks Cath, I've no idea either, I keep swinging from floods of tears to wanting to scream to wanting to be sick to raging anger st the system then back to tears again. x 

I'm sorry to have brought up painful memories Melons and I do believe the system is shite; a lot of time people suffering will be prescribed something just so the docs can move onto the next patient and get another pay check.  I think one of the reasons it hit me so much was because the shit the had me on made me somewhat emotionless about anything 

Sorry lovely, they're not memories, I wish they were. She passed away Thursday evening after being ill for almost 4 years. 15 and having spent almost a third of your life with poor mental health. I'm off loading, sorry. x

In regards to the alcohol comment, I know where some of you are coming from, however what I suggested was to not in anyway use it as a crutch, or to get bladdered. Alcohol has sedative properties, sleep deprivation as a result of anxiety exacerbates the anxiety(as does alcohol in the long term and develops depressive tendencies as I mentioned in my post),  I suppose its a judgement call for some, knowing that you've got 2 days before you're able to see a GP, but not sleeping for those days can be detrimental. Things don't change after a nights sleep, however after having sleep you're more able to process things. Long term, yes it is a messy thing to get into, however I maintain as a one off until someone is able to get to the GP it is far better than the alternatives. 

I'm scared to have a drink as my hangover on Sunday seems to have triggered this (although it had been building). But thanks.

Can you access youtube?

Can you pop on a clip and follow the relaxation techniques? It sounds lame, but they do work if you've got a little head space available. 

Spoke too soon. Fucking hell. Knew I shouldn't have counted my chickens.

If it's the anxiety, consider having a large drink, it slows down how fast your brain is processing shit, allows you to sort of rest if that makes sense? Just remember that regular use isn't wise as alcohol is also depressive. As a one off it should be alright though. 

Good luck, and speak to someone. x 

Where do you start? How do you even begin to type out the pain of losing someone who had barely started life and it ended with years of such sadness, that sounds so selfish. My heart is breaking for my friend, and hurting so badly for the pain of a young teenage girl who felt that it was the only way to ease her pain. 

Fucking bastard twatting shitty cuntting crumbling system. While I'm at it fuck natural beauty, that cunting bridge needs something there to make it impossible to jump from. 

Really? Telegraph, Times, Mail, Express, S*n, Independent, Guardian and even The Mirror have been steadfastly anti-Corbyn. The Mirror mildly so because it's behind Burnham, but it's columnists refer to a potential Corbyn vote as madness, and while they failed to make much of Corbyn's re-nationalisation proposals they were all over Burnham's announcement on the railways yesterday.

 

However, luckily there are voices being heard in comment columns, blogs, social media and the odd article which are countering that and have seen a groundswell of support.

Sorry, I should have said other than main stream media, blogs mainly. I've been avoiding social media allot lately, its better for my health, temper and blood pressure. 

Andy Burnham has had a photo opp with his mum and dad. 

 

Liz Kendall is out gassing poor people. 

Bring over the refugees, place them with the poor on a 'camp' site in Kent and I'm sure she'll feel fulfilled! 

There is less interest in what the others are saying, which is pretty generic 'centre-ground' bollocks, and more interest in Operation: Stop Corbyn.  As such there is a disproportionate amount of coverage of Corbyn, the majority of which is negative.

 

Burnham, has changed his position a little, and has moved from starting his campaign in traders offices in the financial centre of London, and is now talking re-nationalisation of the railways.  However, all he's doing is copying little bits of what Corbyn has been offering  from the start.  If anything, it makes him look weaker.

 

Cooper is continuing to occupy the centre ground without actually saying what she stands for.

 

Kendall has gone full Tory, and you should never go full Tory. Kendall has convinced herself that Corbyn is not popular because he's actually set out his policies and answers those questions he's in a position to answer, but rather that we are all having a jolly jape at her expense and everyone will be voting for her come the ballot in just over a weeks time.

Thats what I don't seem to see. Once they'd got over the shock of an alternative, yes the media are still attacking (Guardian seem to have backed down a bit) but the other routes seem to be quite positive. I genuinely think he can win it, that said, I thought we'd be heading for another coalition back in May. 

How well is Corbyn actually doing? I like many of you have signed up to the labour party to have a vote, not because I support new labour, I support what labour was and what Corbyn wants to make it again. My feeds are very left wing and I'm not sure I'm actually getting a true reflection of what is actually happening with the Leadership campaign, to me it feels like Cooper, Kendle and Burnham have barely uttered a word, yet JC seems to be everywhere, are they actually having a campaign or just sat in the knowledge they'll walk it? If it is one member one vote, then surely the other candidates promoters must be out there somewhere? 

Not sure why I am writing here but been viewing this thread for a while and need to get things off my chest. I have always suffered from some form of depression and I have been taking anti-depressants for the last 10 years on and off (including for the last year). I had a massive breakdown on Saturday to the point where I couldn't stop crying and this scared the shit out of me as it has never been this bad. One of my good mates commited suicide on my birthday august 8th last year after we had a party so maybe this has brought things on. I spoke with my Ma and Da about this and they adivsed me to move in with them for a bit. I cant help but feel like a cunt as this is the last thing they need right now as my Da is going for surgery today. I have a good job and enjoy working and have just recently got a raise. I don't think talking to anyone will help as I cant explain myself what way I am feeling and why I am feeling this way. 

Stop, just stop and breathe. You're allowed to feel like shite, you're allowed to hate whats happened, you're allowed to be angry to want to curl into a ball and cry. Don't belittle your emotions or feelings, or your response to them, they are just as valid as wanting to scream when you stub your toe on a chair. 

People are right, talking helps. It doesn't have to be about anything in particular, or the collective issues, start at the surface and slowly as time goes on, you'll dig deeper. Whilst you say you've been taking AD's for almost a decade, has there ever been any therapy involved? Have your meds ever been reviewed? They do work, they just work differently in different people, and each and every response is individual. How are you sleeping? I could go on, but I'll leave it as Cath says, there are loads of us on here who have been where you are, and are always happy to converse via PM or a reply to a message on here.

Came on here today to find a thread on the subject of mental health and this is top of the GF...spooky

 

Anyway, found out my good mate is on Anti-depressants.

 

He hasn't told me but I spotted his meds when he was in the bog. He had them out on his kitchen counter not hidden away (cry for help?).

 

I've had suspicions for a while, but he's a closed book on feelings and emotions, complete opposite to me.

 

Another mate of mine and I have speculated that he was attacked in some way a few years back by a bloke older than him, don't know if this is true, but after we believe the attack took place he gave up the booze. He hasnt drank since which for him was a big life adjustment.

 

I'm deeply concerned about him, he lives on his own and doesn't have a stable bird around him to give that bit of companionship we all need.

 

Do I approach the subject with him and try and get him to open up or will that be a bad idea?

 

Help me lads.

Take it slowly, and lightly, don't go into a full on in-depth session on treatments, meds ect (quite the opposite to what I've done above). Also, don't bring it up in a public place. he'll need to be fully sure that should he choose too, whatever he divulges is private. If he's only got your mobile, ensure he has your land line, don't make out you were sleeping if you have that 2 am call from him needing to chat. It takes allot to trust someone, even if you've been best mates for years, revealing to someone that you're struggling is bloody hard going. I don't know how close you are, but maybe ensuring more contact. It doesn't always have to be round the pub. Cinema? Museums? a DIY workshop? I've no idea on mens things  other than a sporting event, sorry. When I've supported friends its mainly been food related. Lunch, tea, beach with a picnic... 

See that nice clear floor you've got there Paulie G? It's the clearest it'll ever be, ever ever again.  x 

Babby Dangerously has hand foot and mouth. Basically sores and ulcers. Poor thing can't eat solids and is crying all the time. Can't do anything but calpol and cuddles.

 

Absolutely in bits. Burst out crying in the walk in with her because she was that distressed.

I had my two youngest have this at the same time, and I was on my own. I spent 2 weeks attempting to sleep upright on the sofa. 

They lived on frozen frubes and lolly ices, their mouths were an absolute mess. The ice also cooled down the blisters and got them through a few extra drinks. Occasionally when I could i'd also coat something in dentenox to numb the mouth to get fluids down them too. 

Not been a dick in the slightest mate. Reassuring to hear it is not my kid being a pain in the arse. Will suck it up and see where it goes.

Changed the wifi password but then forgot it. Had to rest the router and could not find my isp password. Daughter pissed off to the cinema and I was left with no internet. So won't be doing that again.

Haha! Before I learnt to change the code I used to just unplug the router and take it out with me and the younger two. I couldn't be doing with being in the same house as them when they had a normal strop, a strop without wifi was 10 times worse. When I did learn to change the router password I just used to change one or two of the letters or swap numbers, something I could (and she could if she'd bothered to try) figure out quite rapidly if needed. 

I also apply this to top ups for their mobiles. They don't get any if their room is a pit or any other room for that matter. I'm a working mum, not a skivvy. 

I've got a son who's 9, he's not perfect but he could be a lot worse, he lives with his ma and comes down weekends, some times through the week, parenthood so far to me has been great as a whole. made a lot easier by my current partner being so supportive, I'm 33 and have always assumed I'd have another child but over the last year I'm just thinking well, I've done the bringing up the baby malarkey once is their enough reward in it to do it again ??.

                                                                           

Seems like a bit of selfishness is creeping in with age, me and her have a great life at the moment, no real worries at all, get away often, I'd give all that up if I had another child, I suppose it's a decision we'll make together, as it stands she's on the fence, the idea of bringing up a teenage girl petrifies me though.

Doesn't she think she'll want any in the future and is there a big age gap between you both? The perk of such an age gap between J and any future sibling is a massive bonus, you've a ready made sitter right there. 

I was single raising my lot for longer than I was with their dad I suppose, yeah I was restricted in some cases, but I did become more selfish, and they learnt to adapt to me. If I wanted to go somewhere, they went whether they liked it or not. Having a second is a world away from your first. The first rules you, you rule the second. Well, thats how it was for me. 

Do it, your boy is gorgeous, you'd be cruel to the world to deny it another beauty. 

Thanks Cath, I'm made up that we've at least got some grass for the summer holidays. The bottom garden and the front one can just bugger off for a few years till I recover. This one has been bloody hard work! x

 

 

I've just paced this as I can't get to the back as it's that overgrown, I think it's around 14m by 10m, that's being conservative. There is another patch at the front of the house but that's just getting decked as the views are amazing in the summer.

 

Half way through the top garden, plants and decking still to go, along with finishing off the glorified shed.



Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

Have you got a 'before' picture? From what I can remember I couldnt have imagined that you'd have so much open space. The shed's yours, right?

Edit. Just seen your reply about your summerhouse

Crikey, my conservative estimate was almost half what it was! Grief. Women and sizes' eh? I'll be joining Mrs PD at this rate! 

That shed will be getting extended and you'll rarely, if ever, see your husband.

 

Stupid ants have built a woolly aphid farm on my dwarf orange tree. I thought someone had wrapped half the leaves in cotton wool.

 

Getting a good crop of lemons this year though

Ha, thats mine. He's got his own shed down the bottom garden. I'm putting an electric fence around the perimeter to keep the kids away too!