Duncan Clench

It may well have been done on here already:

Why can't coffee shops make coffee properly? It doesn't matter what you ask for, you'll get a mug with 2 shots of espresso, molten lava milk up to the last quarter inch of available space, and then some bubbly milk on top. Not foam. Bubbles. 'Look at me! I'm a barista!'. No, you're a fucking twat that has clearly forgotten the simple instructions given to you when you were told how to use that machine in front of you. I understand that it's probably a boring job, especially in the likes of the 'chain' coffee shops.. but do your fucking job.

If you're handed a coffee you should be able to drink it immediately. It should not burn through the mug or take-away cup. If it's a cappuccino, it should be equal parts milk, espresso and foam. That's FOAM. It's not 'pull the milk jug just off the steamer so the milk bubbles', it's 'do it fucking properly to get a foam'.

Near me there must be 10 different coffee shops. 1 of them makes a proper coffee, and that's only if a particular girl is working there (no, she isn't fit). In a culture where we apparently love our coffee, why can we have it made properly? I've now become the grumpy old cunt that sends it back immediately.

I need to move to Italy. They know how to do it.

Yeah the advert on there is awful and I was going to post another link that didn't have it... but the free steam mop deal is on that page which I thought might be of interest.

It's a heck of a vacuum cleaner though!

This feels wrong, but here goes anyways:

 

I'm about to treat myself to a new vacuum, so what did your research throw up.  All I know is that Dyson have the best adverts and the guy has an English accent.

I bought one of these and it's about a billion times better than a Dyson. Still pricey mind, at £200, but if you're in the market for a Dyson then you should get this.

https://sharkbrilliant.co.uk

They work a treat, but what's up with the range extender?? Should be fine if you've got it placed right.

Get a free fridge magnet by purchasing a subscription to The Liverpool Way website and waiting 20 to 30 years.

fiverr.com is worth a visit (not detracting from the quality of the above work of course).

there's not a vas deferens between that and a scalpel vasectomy.

Quality! I'm on my phone so can't give you the well-deserved rep. Will try tomrrow.

This is exactly how we found my mate in the Reeperbahn in Hamburg after he'd wandered off.

Except there was only one girl.

And 'girl' is a dubious description of his companion.

People on radio phone-ins saying "...Well as I said to your researcher...". 

We weren't listening then mate, and nor was the presenter. The fact you said it to a fucking temp before you got on to the radio is irrelevant to absolutely everyone listening.

That, plus the new and infuriating "I'll just leave this here..." fuckwittery.

Dammit Dave, I wrote my best stuff this week! Lost forever.

A colleague of mine revealed today that his polling station is a pub. Mine is a community centre.

So he gets to have a nice freshly poured pint when he votes, and I have to carry my booze all the way from home again. Ridiculous.

This is brilliant

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGC5S3ag1q0

Quality!

I'm just getting into charcoal barbecuing and it's a great way to experiment with cooking which I can't do on the gas grill. Doing some 4-hour baby back ribs at the weekend (with some cherry wood smoke) and seriously can't wait. 

By the way, I notice the Aussies coming in for some stick about using gas... but a lot of the reason for that is that they can't use charcoal in bush fire areas. I think it's against the law. They do gas ones well though... no fucking about with Calor gas bottles, the supply is straight off the mains.

Martin Lewis has published this article today;

http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/06/05/how-to-vote-in-the-eu-referendum/

Exactly what happened in my example... not a single comment after I said my piece.

Facebook is a fertile ground for WoaW fun. A recent one was someone sharing that post about units of pain (is it del?) and how having a baby is the equivalent of breaking every bone in your body... despite there being no such thing as a 'del' in the first place. It also said something along the lines of a human body can only bear 40 del units, but when giving birth a woman experiences 50. How the fuck?

The ludicrous part was that it was one woman sharing it and tagging her pregnant friend in it.

Psychos.

Well I'm in the minority as I didn't think it was at all bad, and certainly better than the old show. Admittedly, I was really tired of the old presenters. The 'Captain Slow' and 'Hamster Hammond' thing was very tired, and as Trumo said, it was becoming more and more controversial for the sake of ratings and it was dull.

I liked Le Blanc's little looks and gestures at the camera, I like the rally idea (and the fact that they didn't get people who were clearly there to plug their upcoming movie/book/album), and didn't they even hint that next episode they'll be driving a normal car? Like, one that somebody watching might actually be able to afford? 

If you liked the old presenters, then they're making a program that you can watch. I'd take this on its own merits and doing that, it was decent.

I think this is difficult, how do you promote or quantify what you already have? The Leave side can say anything they want, they aren't really starting from any base point. Thus the only thing Remain can effectively say is what it'd cost the average person if they voted to exit the EU. A referendum is not really a pitch to govern.

I agree it's difficult, but if you campaign for a 'side' then it's in your interests to put the benefits of your position forward isn't it? Surely it's not beyond the realms of possibility that remain campaign strategists put together a list of things that benefit the UK as a result of being part of the EU? Maybe on some sort of biblical stone tablet?

I'm on the fence still. Well, I'm leaning towards remain but I don't think they're putting much of an argument forward. The out campaign talk of things we would gain, and things we would lose that don't benefit us anyway. The in campaign seems to just offer up 'it'll be bad if we leave' but without much explanation or explaining the real benefits of staying. I guess that's because it seems to work as it is, so no change is better than the risk of change.

The niggling thing for me though is that I can't help thinking that being more independent would actually stimulate industry and perhaps even motivate the shite generation of people who either want something for nothing or work for the sake of earning money rather than having pride in what they do.

Genuine question: how good is our membership of the EU for industry?

Grass is a pain in the neck (I was going to type 'pain in the arse', but didn't want to highlight the obvious rhyme - which i just did anyway). Mine's fucked through a combination of female dog and 4 year old daughter. Weeds and dead patches all over it. I bought some of that grass seed that's mixed in with some growing agent/soil affair. It was on offer for £5 in The Asda. Current economy of that purchase is £1 per blade of grass. The fucks.

So I'm taking action, and have trawled YouTube and learnt everything I need to attempt a total renovation. Scarifying, aerating, fertilising and over-seeding. I'm getting a quote to have someone else do it but I think I'm going to try it myself. Travis Perkins can fuck off as well. £78 per day to hire a scarifying machine?

I'll do some before and afters because, even if you don't care, I'd like my efforts to be globally accessible whether good or bad.

To be fair spending only €50 per man in 6 hours in amsterdam is cheap. I remember last time I was there it was something silly like €8 a pint.

It was around €6, depending on what you had. Not too shabby.

Just got back from Amsterdam and went to a place called the Beer Temple. 35 craft beers on tap including Brooklyn, and a fair few from Anchor. Probably the best I had was their own brew. It was delightful. knocked up a €1000 bill between 20 of us in about 6 hours. It was a good afternoon. Oh and there was one called Shipwreck which was 13.8%. It was like drinking watered-down whiskey. I didn't like it.

First beer: Ruddles! Got battered on my 12th birthday thanks to my brother sneaking me beers in a Beefeater restaurant.

They're all shit, but Asus are probably best value for money.

What's up with the MacBook? Might you be better off buying a solid state hard drive and installing it? Easier than you'd think, and would add a few years of use.