AH, SO I FIND THAT I HAVE AN OPENING FOR 12 DISCIPLES, ER EMPLOYEES I MEAN.
REALLY EASY GIG, I SHALL RUN THROUGH THE PROS AND CONS FOR YOU.
PROS
- YOUR LEADER, WHICH WOULD BE ME, HAS GOT A KICKASS BEARD AND REALLY COOL SANDALS.
- I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO TURN WATER INTO WINE. FREE BOOZE MAKES YOU MORE POPULAR I FIND.
- I CAN TURN THE WRATH OF GOD ON YOUR ENEMIES WHICH IS RATHER NEAT.
- I CAN GET YOU A FREE TICKET TO THE STONE ROSES CONCERT IN MANCHESTER. GETTING THEM FROM TICKETMASTER IS NO PROBLEM FOR A GUY LIKE ME.
CONS
- I WILL REQUIRE YOU TO DEFEND MY HONOUR, UP TO AND INCLUDING, ACCEPTING TORTURE/A DEATH SENTENCE FOR ME.
- I CAN'T ACTUALLY PAY YOU SEEING AS I AM NOT HUMAN AND HAVEN'T GOT A BANK ACCOUNT OR NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER. FUCKING DISCRIMINATING BANKERS AND TORIES.
- YOU WILL HAVE TO TRY AND BE NICE TO FORUM HALF-WITS LIKE JON SNOW. OF COURSE IF YOU CAN'T THEN I WILL FORGIVE YOU OBVS.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED LET ME KNOW WHY YOU THINK YOU WOULD BE GOOD FOR THE ROLE. IMPRESS ME.
BEAMS BEATIFICALLY AT EVERYONE.