Premier League Round Up (Aug 10-12 2018)

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The season got under way on Friday night with an uninspiring, unimpressive, narrow home win for United. It’s almost like footy had never been away. Mourinho has been at war with half of his squad during pre-season and he’s generally had a face like a smacked arse all summer.

 

Ed Woodward wouldn’t buy him the players he wanted (probably as he didn’t want any more 29 year olds on 350k a week) so the only new arrival at Old Trafford was some Brazilian named Fred. No, not that one, unfortunately. 

 

They were awarded a dubious penalty after a few minutes against Leicester when one of the Foxes defenders got himself into a mess and the ball hit him around the shoulder / top of the arm area. Could have gone either way, but it was United at Old Trafford, so…. 

 

Pogba put the penalty away after the slowest run up in history. It took him about three minutes to get from the edge of the box to the penalty spot. He was overtaken by a snail at one point. Why so slow? Maybe he was live streaming it on Instagram.

 

When he eventually got there he didn’t fuck about though, he just planted it in the top corner. Fat Luke Shaw added a second before Leicester pulled one back through Vardy. They had loads of chances during the game but a combination of shite finishing and David fucking De Gea ensured they went home with nothing and United got their standard scabby win that left everyone - except Mourinho - feeling somewhat unsatisfied. 

 

Pogba tweeted afterwards “I always give my best for the fans and my team-mates”. The implication there was obvious. I play for my mates and the fans, the manager can get to fuck. He also hash-tagged it with #pogfeelings which for some reason absolutely creased me up.

 

He’s such a preening, pretentious, knobhead but that was funny. I don’t know if it was meant to be funny or if he was just indulging himself. It’s the kind of thing Milner would say as a laugh, but with Pogba it’s difficult to tell when he’s serious. I laughed anyway, it was amusing I thought. #ushfeelings. 

 

When asked about his future and whether he was happy at Old Trafford, he refused to elaborate and said something like “I can’t say what I want to as I’ll get in trouble”. Hopefully the next few weeks will see Barca ramp up their usual August skullduggery and unsettle him further. 

 

Meanwhile, Leicester’s kit looks too much like a Chelsea kit. I don’t like change and that’s going to take a lot of getting used to. 

 

 

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[The Guest]

It’s worth Warnock being back in the prem just for the ammunition it gives Squires in the Guardian to draw him as Tony Soprano’s ma.

[Mark M]

Next best thing after the football starting back is these roundups.

[sir roger]

As a long-time Dads Army fan I was pleased to see Fraser & Wilson notching for Bournemouth.