Featured: That was the week that was (Aug 4-10 2018)

[tlw content]

 
Saturday Aug 4… 
 
L 5 Napoli 0 Holy shit we’re fucking good. We’re not even at full throttle yet, not even close, yet look what we’re doing. The goals are being spread around too. The front three are easing themselves back in but everyone else is chipping in. How do you stop us when virtually everyone is a threat? 
 
Van Dijk, Shaqiri, Moreno, Milner, Gini, Sturridge, Ojo, Kent, Wilson… everyone has been getting in on it. Except Solanke and Origi of course. Solanke just can’t catch a break, every shot he has seemed to hit the keeper, while Origi is just… man, he does my fucking head in. How can someone with all of those attributes be so fucking useless? 
 
We look great though, and we’ve still got players coming back. Lovren and Hendo aren’t even back yet and Bobby has only been here a few days. We might not be at full strength for the opening game but it shouldn’t even matter, because whatever side we do put out looks like it could fucking run riot. Even the kids look boss. 
 
Sunday Aug 5… 
 
So Everton finally managed to sign someone and it turns out he has “I never walk alone” tattooed on his chest. Just for good measure, he turned up to his medical wearing the biggest, brightest, reddest pair of trainers you’ve ever seen. Michael Ball will be turning in his grave. 
 
Not a good start for the lad, but someone obviously had a word with him as in his first interview he accused our fans of being mad at him because he turned us down twice. Yeah lad, we’re really, really pissed off that you knocked us back twice and we’ve ended up with Andy Robertson and you’ve ended up at Goodison. Fucking hell. 
 
It beats the shit that Richarlison came out with about how he “followed Everton on TV” when he was a kid. Fuck me, the very idea that a lad growing up in Brazil would be tuning in to watch Tony Hibbert and Yakubu is surely even too far fetched for the Blues to swallow. 
 
Monday Aug 6… 
 
It’s all going pear shaped at Chelsea. Courtois fails to report back because he wants to join Madrid, while Willian tells ESPN Brazil that Mourinho is his mate, the best manager he’s played for and that he’d love to work with him again. Makes sense. He’s 30 in a few days, wants one last big pay day and who is more accommodating in those situations than good ol’ Jose? 
 
Speaking of the devil, "Liverpool are buying everything and everybody. If we don't make our team better it will be a difficult season for us." 
 
This is so fucking tiresome. We’ve bought FOUR players and one of them cost £13m from a relegated team. This tool is acting as though we’re doing a Man City, or a Chelsea when he was first there. By the time we sell all the dead wood our spending will be around £50m this summer, which is fuck all considering we made £70m from the CL run and £140m for selling Phil. 
 
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about the low net spend, I’m really not even remotely interested in what we spend as long as the manager is being backed with whatever he needs (and he definitely is), I’m just making a point about this bullshit narrative being peddled by Mourinho and some of the media. I mean what is Klopp supposed to do, not spend any of the money he brought in?? 
 
Meanwhile, Lovren reports back to Melwood with a skinhead. Mo filmed him meeting up with the lads again and you can distinctly hear big Virg saying “the best defender in the world!”. He’s never going to live that down is he? Lovren doesn’t give a fuck though, I reckon half the shit he says now is to wind up the rest of the lads. 

 

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[dave u]

I take full responsibility for Richarlison scoring twice today. Me and my big mouth.

[A_S]

Mourinho pointing out that Leicester have invested more than his team in the summer. Hahaha he's a tedious cunt.

[an tha]

Mourinho pointing out that Leicester have invested more than his team in the summer. Hahaha he's a tedious cunt.

He's gonna spew that kind of shite until at least January (if the scruffy meff lasts that long) and you can bet the media won't call him out over it...

[shouter]

I take full responsibility for Richarlison scoring twice today. Me and my big mouth.

 

Haha

[tokyojoe]

I've almost stopped hating the Blue Arsed Twats now. The amusement factor is irreplaceable. Great read Dave,

[dave u]

I've gone past the point of laughing at them, I'm just getting annoyed by all their shit now.

[Anubis]

Have they got him penned in for the Golden Boot yet?

[aws]

Better than Salah.